Tag Archives: Team Las Vegas

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Penultimate Retro Running Diary

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons remaining competitors are literally on the verge of jumping out of a plane into the Namib desert to embark on a final challenge that even TJ thinks is undoable. In order to best encapsulate the awesome and incredible season this has been, I have decided to split up the column this week. First, is the retro running diary of the penultimate and final elimination episode. Early next week, I will release my pre-final power rankings and some further analysis of the remaining teams and their chances in the Namib Desert experience. Here we go…

THE WEEK 11 Penultimate RETRO RUNNING DIARY (power rankings to follow in a separate column)

The times are EST on the night the original episode aired, so feel free to follow along while viewing for the first time or while re-watching.

10:01 – There is one more challenge left and our faithful competitors are off to Namibia, Africa (“The homeland!” as coined by Devyn) for the rest of the season. Dustin: “Well there’s no tigers. Is there tigers? I don’t know.”

10:02 – 3o hours later, we arrive in Namibia…The edit shows us Survivor-esque shots of dangerous looking (beetles, snakes) animals, less dangerous looking (ostriches, gazelles) animals, and the dune-rich sandy deserts of a Tatooine-like landscape. Will our remaining teams be roughing it out in the African wilderness? Not this time. MTV splurged for an Atlantic Ocean side beach three-story that appears to have been transplanted from a Santa Barbara villa. There is African fused urban chic decorum! There is an indoor pool! There is enough alcohol to last a Frank evening! Trishelle: “We are in Africa!” Cue the third single from Alanis Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill album…

10:03 – Sarah sets the stage for the final challenge with an experienced command that only she has: “This is the most important challenge yet. There are only four teams left: Vegas, who everybody is thinking is going to lose this challenge, San Diego, the clearly strong team, Cancun, who is shacking up with clearly the strongest team here, and Brooklyn. There’s no way we won’t be going in if we don’t win.” There it is.

10:03 – At the challenge, Sam sees an ATV and a ramp going into the water and all she can think of is Steve-O and Jackass. This concerns me on so many levels.

10:03 – TJ: “Today’s challenge is called ‘Sling Shot’.” Team San Diego starts laughing uncontrollably upon hearing the pun heavy title. Maybe I am obtuse for not getting it, but why is this so funny?

10:04 – “Sling Shot,” according to TJ, borrows a little “technique from the rednecks.” Ignorance?

10:05 – TJ explains the challenge (some ATV driving, a human sling shot into the water, lots of swimming to a dock, ring the bell, more swimming back to shore to cross the finish line) and the enhanced stakes (“You don’t want to go home now.”) Two people participate at a time, so the average time of the Brooklyn and San Diego’s respective two heats will be the counted score. This could be a distinctive advantage (if they do well) or disadvantage (if they do poorly) to the two person teams.

10:05 – TJ: “Today’s challenge has a little bit more riding on it today.” Devyn: “Literally.” Boom!

10:05 – Brooklyn is confident pre-challenge. Sarah, to her team: “You are a swimmer (to JD) and I am a swimmer. And you guys are the drivers. (To Devyn) You don’t even have to get your hair wet.” This is followed by a high-five and reason number 731 that Team Brooklyn has been a joy and a revelation to watch this season.

10:06 – Dustin and Trishelle have some pre-game confidence acknowledging (by a proud hand raise) that they fit right in with an event that connects to the redneck experience. Dustin: “That would be me!”

10:06 – Team Vegas is first (as chosen by San Diego’s power team privilege) and the Dustin ramp launch is teased into a commercial break…

10:09 – It’s Sway, introducing some end of the year TV event. I am distracted by the following notions: the fact that Sway is still around, how Sway got to appear on TV in the first place, whether or not Sway has any colleagues left at MTV News, whether MTV News still exists, why Gideon Yago is not a bigger star, why John Norris dyed his hair blonde during the mid-90s, how MTV used to be about music, and how The Real World and The Challenge longevity is one of the most underrated and unheralded TV stories (why aren’t more people talking about this?). Back to Sway – I am probably not going to spend my New Year’s with you. Sorry, buddy.

10:10 – Dustin “I feel like a superhero right now” Zito literally flies into the water (“I feel like I am here to save the day.”) off the ramp. Dustin absolutely kills the swimming portion of the challenge (TJ: “Way to dig deep”) and Team San Diego looks nervous. Dustin’s post performance vomiting (a longer swim than anyone thought) does not quell the fears of the other teams.

Dustin

10:12 – Next up: Sarah and Chet for Brooklyn. Sarah battles with the deceptively cold water, bests a minor dock elevation misstep, and swims her heart out to the shore line as her teammates (in the truest sense of the word) cheer her on. Like Dustin before her, vomiting and artificial oxygen support are necessary (“We are in Africa!”).

Sarah

10:13 – The JD/Devyn tandem seem to have the same success. JD’s (“This is fun!”) dolphin training experience is yet again a difference maker in this game.

10:15 – Derek struggles with the swimming (“I can’t breathe”) and is forced to backstroke much of the return trip to the shore. Things do not look good form Team Cancun.

10:16 – Ashley’s ATV stalls and Frank’s ramp acceleration flops like your average play from Reggie Evans. He has to swim longer than anyone else before him and although he does maintain a steady pace throughout, was it fast enough?

Frank

10:17 – Zach (“the last time I swam competitively was never”) owns his heat and competition in general. This guy was made for The Challenge.

10:18 – Team Cancun is the losing team (no surprise there) and will be forced into the final arena and Team Vegas is the winning team (the Vegas comeback is on!). TJ puts it in historical perspective: “Very rarely is a team get picked to go first and then win.” Dustin sees this late challenge adversity as “the best preparation for the final.” He may be right.

10:23 – Dustin and Trishelle must instantaneously deliberate (an appreciated African twist) and choose Team San Diego to go into the arena.

10:24 – TJ: “So which game are they going to play?” Trishelle: “Do we have a second to talk about it, or…?” TJ: “I mean, you got a second.” TJ Lavin – this is what host greatness is all about. (BTW – Dustin chooses “strategy” as means of leveling the playing field for Cancun while making San Diego “sweat.”)

10:25 – Chet gets the poetic drama of the final arena battle: “Jonna has been boning her way to the final and now Zach’s team has to go against her. I mean could you ask for a better final elimination?” There will be a serious depreciation of life quality without the man, the myth, the legend that is Chet on my television once a week.

10:25 – Dinner is served (on three, four-person tables – an odd configuration) and Sam is publicly basking in the glow of Frank’s ramp elevation issues in the challenge (completely the ATV or Ashley’s, the ATV driver, fault). Frank vents his frustration to Ashley in the nastiest of terms (as only Frank can). Poor Jasmine’s low weight is dragged into the mess. Is this a potential team turmoil fueled harbinger for what is yet to come for Team San Diego? (The seating chart, by the way: Zach, Jonna, Sam, and Dustin are at one table. Trishelle, Devyn, Sarah, and Chet are at another table. The third table is Derek, JD, Ashley, and Frank. So much incredible interpersonal and social structure understanding can be gleaned from this configuration. I am fascinated.)

10:30 – Even though Sarah is off of arena duty and has a ticket to the finals, her strategic game is at play: “As much as I loathe (gulp, unexpected) conversation with her, I give Jonna advice on how to do the strategy one, hoping that maybe she can send San Diego home. It would mean Brooklyn would be the only four person team running in the final, and maybe we could win the whole thing.”

10:31 – Understatement of the episode alert from Ashley: “Nothing is every easy for Team San Diego.” Doubts about the arena abound. Frank feels like he is going to puke.

10:32 – The “Knot So Fast” arena strategy game is transported to Africa. It is the same rules and concept as in Turkey’s fire pit locale, but the large metallic domes have been replaced by wooden teepees. Production must have run out of resources or money after decorating the Namibian digs.

Knot So Fast

10:35 – Round 1 (the rope twisting part) is over. San Diego and Cancun both feel good about what they did. The viewer struggles (knot so great translation to television) to have any idea about just happened.

10:37 – Round 2 (the rope untwisting part) begins and it looks like (from this obstructed view vantage point) that Cancun is neck and neck with Frank and Ashley. The entirety of Brooklyn and Vegas are instructing Jonna and Derek’s every move. Yes, Chet. The Cancun v. San Diego final elimination was a perfect ending, but another arena battle (more understandable suspense) may have yielded more tangible evidence to support this claim.

10:40 – During the commercial break, a The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 television promo tries to make the connection between “holiday season” and this final installment of the popular movie franchise (a reach like Robb’s arms). I try to keep myself in the center of pop culture, but this Edward/Jacob/Bella journey is one that I am glad I have never partaken in.

10:41 – Frank and Ashley make an “oopsy” in their rope untangling, or as I like to call it, the night in San Diego that Nate and Priscilla “hooked up.” This was the most lenient possible interpretation of the word “exes” in human history.

Ashley and Frank

10:41 – Jonna struggles with all the side-coaching and instead of tuning them out, decides to engage and yell back (“just shut up!”). Derek recognizes the problem with this reaction.

10:42 – Ashley and Frank win and Jonna is still focused on the “too many voices” that affected her performance. Thankfully, Zach is their to comfort her. Jonna intimates that she was in the “worst place of her entire life” before coming on The Challenge (that poor guy she dumped on the phone from the season premiere must be struggling with this revelation) and that Zach has been the best thing that has happened to her. Underrated subplot of the season: how functional Zach and Ashley seem to be with their post-breakup existence. San Diego had to overcome much diversity to get to the final and I am not sure they could have sustained another interpersonal impasse. Credit to both Ashley and Zach on this front.

Zach and Jonna

10:43 – Frank and Ashley “love each other” and are as bonded as any two people on this season. This is yet another aspect of the Jekyll & Hyde Team San Diego experience.

Ashley and Frank

10:44 – Derek and Jonna walk off into the Namibian desert horizon. We are down to the final three teams. TJ sets the scene while addressing Teams Brooklyn, Vegas, and San Diego: “You are officially in the final. I hope you guys dig a little bit deeper. I’ve been on over a hundred challenges. I don’t think anybody can finish that final, but if you can, you are getting $250,000 for first place. See you at the finals. Congratulations.” He follows this by rocking a cool hand signal gesture. There is only one TJ Lavin.

10:46 – The cast finds a new wardrobe for the finals (including under armor full body suits and new sneakers) waiting for them at Camp Namibia. Dustin models the new gear. The “night before” excitement is real.

Dustin

10:46 – Chet and Trishelle have a heart to heart about the finals makeup of Team Brooklyn (particularly the potential liability of Devyn). Chet is in beast mode and will “carry Devyn up a hill across an ocean” if he must. This why Chet is rightfully ranked number 1 in the rankings.

10:46 – Chet’s interview analysis takes the clear plot forecasting a step further: “I have the endurance of a young virgin cult. I could win this thing by myself if I were allowed to, but Devyn thinks that taking the spoon from a peanut butter jar to her mouth constitutes a workout.” Well, there’s that.

10:47 – Trishelle has some legitimate (the episode two weeks ago warrants this feeling) concerns about her ability to work with Dustin in a stressful, competitive environment. There are now doubts percolating around each team. This is real.

10:51 – The morning of the final is here! The “butterflies are doing their thing” in Dustin’s stomach. According to Sarah, JD is “looking good.” Zach has a “pit in his stomach the size of a bowling ball.” Devyn puts on her weave. Now it is time.

10:52 – Sarah reminds us that the last time she was in a final, she “got heatstroke and ended up in the back of an ambulance.” She also lets us know that she is “not going to do that this time,” that she “came here to win,” and that she is “never giving up.” Competition, be warned. Sarah has her game face on and is ready to dominate.

10:53 – TJ, in front of three helicopters and four planes, breaks down the potential earning situation: first place is $250,000, second place is $60,000, and third place is $40,000. Everyone is at least winning $10,000 and Dustin and Trishelle could walk away with $125,000 if Team Vegas wins.

10:53 – TJ: “Welcome to the vast and empty Namib desert. You are officially entering no-man’s land. There is only one way in. So to start things off, you guys are going to be jumping out of those (pointing to the planes).” That’s what I’m talking about, The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons! You are killing it!

10:57 – Trishelle thinks Dustin give her the look of “I will rip your head off you back out of this.” I think it was more of the look of “this is the coolest thing I have ever done.” Just sayin…

10:57 – TJ’s inspirational wisdom: “This is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done in your entire lives. You will be a better person for finishing this thing. So, no matter what happens…when you are going, and you feel like you can’t go anymore, just ask yourself is that your mind speaking or your body. Ninety percent of the time, it’s your mind. So just tell it, no I am cool. Just keep on moving. Good luck. I will see you soon. Make it happen.”

10:58 – Ashley has an amazing way of making every post production interview feel super happy and cute, even when she is talking about jumping out of planes.

10:59 – The ominous music says, “there is a storm coming.” Well-played, sound designer. Well-played.

Chet and Devyn

10:59 – Dustin’s jump (the one originally teased in the pre-season trailer) leads into a “to be continued” fade to black screen…next week is The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons final challenge and I could not be more ready…

Dustin

Stay tuned for my pre-final power rankings and my analysis and predictions of how well Teams Brooklyn, San Diego, and Las Vegas will fare in the finals (out sometime on Monday). Then, tune in Wednesday at 10 PM on MTV for the final episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons.

David Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7. His CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out weekly on Derek Kosinski’s UltimateChallengeRadio.com. The Week 12 power rankings will be available sometime before the final.

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 10

In my last The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons weekly rankings column, I went all retro-running diary because the action of the episode was just too much to effectively account for any other way.  This week’s episode may have even pushed the scale of awesomeness a few steps higher (the weekly challenge and especially the night time drama raised these stakes), so until something changes (and with the final challenge coming up later this month), I am going to keep rocking the retro-running diary until it loses its potency.  As established last week, the times are EST on the night the original episode aired, so feel free to follow along while viewing for the first time or while re-watching.

THE WEEK 10 RETRO-RUNNING DIARY (power rankings to follow)

10:00 – In the scenes from last week, the creepy chill MTV announcer voice reminds us of “one of the biggest arenas in Challenge” history.  Don’t worry creepy chill MTV announcer voice, we won’t forget the epic duel between CJ and Zach anytime soon.

10:01 – The episode begins with the image of a cat licking itself.  No, for real.

10:01 – Team San Diego does a group workout session and then plays a little game of “say something positive, say something negative” (still in the R & D phase at Milton Bradley).  Sam’s negative comment to Ashley is that she is “way too positive.”  Zach doesn’t like how he and Frank have old animosity toward one another.  In a solution just shy of miracle status, harmony has returned to the San Diego shores (cue creepy chill MTV announcer voice: “For now…”)

10:02 – It’s time for the challenge clue delivery from some new product placed c-list company’s mobile device!  This time, the Battle of the Seasons contestants pretend to be sleeping at a slumber party when Frank brings the electronic correspondence delivered news.  The clue is always some low quality pun about having to wear bathing suits while “getting to know” your teammates, but the clue delivery scene appears to be contrived by production (I will have to check with Derrick about this) and has become more silly as the years go by.  Can someone give me some Intel on this?

10:02 – TJ, rocking the hatless look two weeks in a row (his wife must have been involved somehow), tells us that today’s challenge is called “Abandon Ship,” named after what KellyAnne and Johanna did pre-filming when they found out ex-boyfriend Wes was going to be on Battle of the Seasons. (Did you every wonder why Lacey represented Team Austin?  Or why was Fresh Meat such a strange late addition to the premiere?  Wes is apparently kryptonite to his past lovers.  It’s too bad because Real World: Sydney’s Isaac would have been an interesting addition to a house with Frank already in it.)

10:04 – Team Las Vegas is represented by “water people” and Alton thinks it is therefore going to be a “fun, lean challenge” for them.  How ironic this is.

10:04 – Sarah, thankfully, reminds us that JD trains dolphins, so the required 25 foot dive for a player from each team to retrieve buoys (less horrifying 15, 10, and 5 foot dives as well) is a point of confidence for Brooklyn.  Sarah, you had me at “JD trains dolphins.”

10:04 – Let’s just say that TJ’s hair (thank you Turkish wind gusts) is pretty close to awesome.

10:05 – Twenty-five foot dives begin!  In succession, Derek, Dustin, JD, and Sam rock this (Honestly, I am quite impressed).  Poor Robb struggles and struggles and struggles.  He’s “actually kind of panicking.”

10:06 – Fear not Robb!  You have a panic partner!  Enter, Trishelle!

10:06 – Teams San Diego, Cancun (Jonna and Derek by their lonesome), and Brooklyn (way to dominate the five foot dive, Devyn!) finish the four dives and are onto the boat race phase of the Challenge.  Robb and Trishelle are still panicking and their teammates are none too pleased.  In Robb and Trishelle’s defense, under water pressure can be hard.  It is time to go to commercial.

10:07 – Jersey Shore is down to its final four episodes ever.  Even though I hopped out of the tanning bed several seasons ago, but with this realization and some Hurricane Sandy relief initiatives, is it wrong to admit that I am feeling a bit nostalgic?

10:11 – Back in the water, Trishelle’s outright panic leads Alton to take matters into his own hands and he dives for the ten foot buoy, accruing a five minute time penalty in the process.  Dustin is not pleased with Trishelle.

10:12 – Meanwhile, in St. Thomas land, Marie impressively beasts the 25 and 10 foot buoys.  Marie may talk a big game, but she is seriously walking the walk.

10:13 – The juxtaposition of San Diego’s sea of tranquility in a commanding lead and Las Vegas’ already penalty ridden team implosion directed at resident delinquent Trishelle is further proof of just how quick of a sea change can occur in The Challenge.  If team unity and consistent togetherness amount to anything, Team Brooklyn and the remaining Team Cancun deserve to ultimately win.

10:14 – San Diego wins the race and celebrates their first place finish with a cuddle fest in the raft.  Simultaneously, Marie and Robb have difficult relationship talks while learning their paddling technique.  Rough.

10:15 – Team Vegas finishes the race in fourth place, but Alton and Dustin are not through with Trishelle and have a discussion about her womanhood.  Alton tells Dustin to “get enlightened.”  The team interview and contentious back and forth between Dustin and Trishelle is an exercise in disharmony and futility.  Things are not going to end well for these two.

10:16 – A demoralized Robb and Marie reach shore, arena bound.  In the interview, Robb declares that he “can’t dive down 25 feet” because “he smokes too many cigarettes.”  (Yes, Robb!  An opportunity to quit!)  Marie’s silent, icey frown says it all.

10:18 – Alton tries to act as team mediator and facilitates apologies between Dustin and Trishelle.  The conversation goes nowhere as they continue to butt heads.  As Dustin says, “Not everything is rainbows and butterflies.”  There is a dispute about whether Trishelle is going in.  One thing that the Bunim/Murray brain trust always excel at is foreshadowing within an episode.  Let’s hope I am mistaken.

10:23 – TJ lets San Diego know that they “killed it” in the challenge.  Right back at you, Sir Lavin.

10:23 – Zach represents San Diego’s arena participation decision and says an under the radar, crafty, and humorous comment.  He preambles the inevitable Team Las Vegas choice with the information that San Diego really wanted to go in, but that “Frank needed a rest” from the arena.  Well played, Zach.  Well played.

10:24 – It’s a night of alcohol consumption and the excrement is about to hit the motorized, circular cooling machine.

10:24 – Derek (particularly and uncharacteristically rowdy tonight) and Nany have a dispute about how close they are as friends.  Oh boy.  This is not going to go well.

10:25 – Frank somehow takes offense at nothing (we have seen some of this before, Monsieur Sweeney) and goes off at Nany.  Nany, not one for restraint while intoxicated, matches Frank’s ante raise.

10:25 – Marie invites herself to the party because she doesn’t care about Derek, but she cares about Nany (one thing Marie will have is the back of one of her girlfriends, Swifty learned this quite often when he messed with LaToya in St. Thomas).  Robb tries to keep her back, but “two people are getting in [Nany’s] face right now!”  In the cleaned up (and she did it nicely) interview, Marie: “Right now, in the way that everyone’s ganging up on Nany, I don’t really care about our alliance.  I care about defending my friend who needs my help right now.”  You go, girl.  Zach is entertained, full well knowing that “step in to keep Frank from attacking multiple people time” will be soon be his responsibility.

10:26 – Derek and Nany continue their battle royale about the quality of their friendship (does it really matter?).  Credit to the peacekeeping team of Chet, Robb, Sam, Marie, and Trishelle.  Interesting side note: Where are Devyn, Alton, and Sarah during all of this?  If the answer is asleep, I want some of that REM cycle in my nightly routine.

10:26 – Somehow, the camera man misses Derek pushing Robb (as he attempts to restrain Derek) over some patio furniture.  This is a clutch miss, camera man, and our loss.

10:26 – Marie does not miss this incident and is “not going to sit here and let [Derek} push [her] man” so she decides to body slam Derek who dominos into Sam who falls into a pile of plant pots.  Chet goes to check on Sam and determines that Frank should “get your girl” out of the pots (a classic and underrated moment of Chet brilliance).  Thank goodness for the commercial to sort this all out.

10:31 – We’re back.  Chet does a play-by-play of the individual battles. (I give him credit for keeping up with all the iterations.  Also, is he, as a member of Team Brooklyn, on babysitting duty shift and is this an official job?  What happens on the night’s when JD is on call?  Do they have paramedics on hand?)  He appropriately ends his recap with the wise question of “where the hell am I?”

10:31 – Sam is actually hurt and wants to share her thoughts with Marie whose Derek body slam inadvertently knocked Sam over into a patch of plant pots.  Marie is as pugnacious as ever.  It takes the full force of the seven foot tall Robb and Frank (now calm) to hold her back from “killing” Sam.  Frank’s take (it takes one to know one): “I absolutely love Marie.  I see a lot of myself in Marie, but Marie is an idiot sometimes.”  Frank lets Marie know that poor Sam “has nothing to do” with any of this.

10:32 – There is an amazing JD sighting as Frank and Nany decide to meet down at the cabana for a chat.  JD, beer in hand, unassumingly walks by like nothing is going on.  Oh, how I yearn for the carefree existence of a dolphin trainer.

10:32 – The cabana chat lasts for a hot three-seconds before blowing up.  Mediator Trishelle is helplessly left alone.  Frank decides to berate low and makes some comment about Nany’s sister injecting heroin too much.  Nany, holding four beer cans (check, I am not making this up), will not stand for a family member’s inclusion in Frank’s verbal tomfoolery.  Fight escalation, GO!

10:33 – Dustin comes to Nany’s defense and Frank hits back with some gay porn past insults.  Trishelle, wisdom fueled: “Oh my god, yes, Dustin did gay porn.  Like get over it.”  The fight continues.  Cut to Devyn (she apparently woke up) who is understandably unsure about exactly what is going on.

10:34 – Frank, like a Roman gladiator from the a balcony above the pool (Dustin and Nany are down below): “I.  Will.  Bury.  You.  Both.”  Dustin and Nany egg him on.  All Frank “sees right now is red and it’s blood” and comes down to attack.  Alton (his Spidey sense for soulmate Dustin being in trouble is a working power) tries to peace make.  Dustin snaps, (“Hey Catholic school boy, you want to get straight, bitch?  Come and get some.”), whacks Alton in the face (not on purpose and slightly comedic, watching back) and then push/shoves Frank’s head (the memorable moment from last week’s preview).  Stuff is going down and we still have 36 minutes left.

10:35 – A commercial promotion for next week’s Teen Mom 2 about Janelle forgiving her mom for not bailing her out of jail while her baby son cries in the background somehow calms me down.

10:37 – I have never desired a longer commercial break.  Back in the action, there is an actual fight and the cooler heads of Robb, Zach, Alton, Trishelle, Chet, and even Nany prevail.  Zach pleads with Frank to step back using first the tactic of repeating the phrase “the team” and then forces Frank to “go through” him.  Zach, this one scene may be a serious rankings boost and Frank and Zach, I am beginning to believe in the possibilities of your friendship.  Frank decides to “wash his hands clean” of the “dirty scum that got under his fingernails” that is the “entire fucking Vegas team.”

10:37 – Meanwhile, in another fantastic male friendship manifestation, Alton lets Dustin know that he took it too far.  Alton about Frank: “He’s a little pig and you chose to get in to the dirt with him…and clean him up, in the mud?”  Well, done Alton 2.0.  Alton and Dustin then have a conversation about which of a peacock and a flamingo is a more apt description for Nany.  Yes, this happened.

10:38 – Alton admits in his interview that “after babysitting these kids” he has had “one of the worst times in paradise, ever.”  Are you a paradise frequenter, Alton?  If so, how do I get on that train?

10:39 – Back to the game game (and a sunny, morning after the storm at that), Trishelle wants Dustin to go in with her because she fears that Alton is still on his “I want to go home” kick.  The conversation does not go well and creates a line between Trishelle and the boys.  Not for nothing, but I feel like Nany is often the victim in the these circumstances.

10:41 – Albeit less than accurate, Trishelle has this line of the night about Alton and Dustin: “The only thing consistent about those two is that they are consistently crazy.”  Nany knows that Trishelle is sometimes not a team player and looks at her, wondering if she is going to step up or not.

10:42 – Arena time!  Marie steps down to the stage for Team St. Thomas.  TJ says she is “looking as mean as ever.”  Marie, loses her game face, and cracks a killer smile.  These TJ moments of greatness are what sets him apart from all the other competition show hosts.  TJ Lavin, I salute you.

10:42 – The commercial cliffhanger surrounds Trishelle’s “will she or won’t she” decision to volunteer herself to go in.  In her interview, she says she is going to leave it up to San Diego because she fears having to compete with Alton and the potential that he will throw the challenge.  Things are not looking good for Team Vegas.

10:43 – The only thing I love more than Ricky Rubio on the basketball court (please get well soon, senôr) is this Ricky Rubio commercial.  Foot Locker’s ad agency deserves some kind of award.

10:45 – And, Nany volunteers herself to go in!  Nooooooooooo (the reaction that Dustin and I share)!  Dustin is justifiably furious because Trishelle deserved to go in and he doesn’t want to see his little Vegas sister Nany potentially go home (let alone have to toil alone with Trishelle back at the base camp).  All he can do now is stare at Trishelle in disgust.

10:45 – Robb is feeling “really, really confident” because “truth be told” the last time he lost something was his “virginity.”  You have to love Robb.

10:46 – Such props to Nany on this one.  She volunteered herself in because she was not going to stand idle and let San Diego make a decision on the fate of her team.  Poor Dustin (I would be the same way, brother on this one) cannot get over the fact that what was supposed to happen (Trishelle going in) did not.  He and Trishelle have a little verbal fight (she says she will never speak to him again).  My take: I think Trishelle feels bad about this, but is unwilling to admit it.  I think Dustin does not provide the safest forum for this to happen, so the cycle of iffy communication continues.

10:48 – Round 1 (2 out of 3) of the Balls Out Endurance game goes 14-11 in favor of Robb and Marie.  They came to play!  Nany questions Alton’s full investment in winning (not an unreasonable thought about the former Challenge legend’s motivation in Turkey).  Dustin, too, is not “seeing that hustle spirit” and he does not “want to be left here with Trishelle.”

10:49 – Round 2 goes 13-12 to Alton and Nany.  This has turned out to be a second straight, down to the wire arena.  Advantage this season of The Challenge.  Marie and Robb are not shaken at all and unified anew.

10:50 – Marie: “If I can take out two of the strongest competitors that means that I am one of the strongest competitors.”  No argument, there.

10:55 – Zach lets Robb and Marie know that they “freakin’ did it!” by beating Alton and Nany 13-12 in the final round.  Credit to Marie and Robb for their perseverance in this arena and throughout this game (especially in their ability to reunify so quickly after the shipwreck that was the “Abandon Ship” challenge).

10:55 – Alton: “I am a little shocked.  For me, losing is a new experience.”  Yes, it is, old friend.  Although your total reputation may have taken a hit, I hope that in a few years the glory that was Alton 1.0 will be your enduring legacy.

10:56 – Dustin is visibly and understandably shaken.  He is losing Alton, a brother and very close friend, and Nany, his little sister, support, and best chance he had at winning the whole thing.  They are both concerned about how Dustin will manage being alone with Trishelle.  Nany: “Don’t kill her.  You guys gotta make it to the finals.”  Alton: “Forgive her bro.”  Dustin: “Never.”

10:57 – Nany: “If I have proved anything to anyone, I proved to myself that I am a good competitor, and I deserved to be here this entire time.”  Speak the truth, Nany.  If anyone has risen up in the actual and metaphoric Challenge power rankings, it is Nany.  She overcame beaucoup de drama (internal and external) and managed to go out with the utmost dignity and as an honorable fighter.  When (not if) she returns in the future, I would want her on my team.

10:57 – Alton: “I met a brother.  Dustin, we are going to be friends forever dude.”  I applaud this seemingly, beautiful friendship.

10:57 – Frank, in a bout of uncontrollable irony, is “so so so so” excited that Nany and Alton are going home so that he can finally “live in peace now” in a drama free house.

10:58 – Dustin will not let this Trishelle thing go, asking her to “live,” “remember this forever,” and “have nightmares.”  TJ: “I thought I’ve seen some uncomfortable teams in my life, but Dustin and Trishelle, that’s a pretty uncomfortable team.”  Preach, TJ.  Preach.

10:58 – Dustin is in a cloud of despair and wants to go home.  Chet and Sarah try to step in and help the situation, facilitating a conversation between Dustin and Trishelle.  JD does nothing.

10:59 – Fade to black on the potential of Dustin quitting…after last week’s arena battle between Zach and CJ, I expected this week to have a fair degree of momentum lowering, but instead, the stakes have been raised yet again.  The Challenge is bringing it this fall and I cannot wait for next Wednesday night.

Five teams are left (three now have two players) and one (Las Vegas) is in complete shambles.  At this point, especially with a resurgent St. Thomas in the arena, it is anyone’s game…let’s shakeout a particularly movement heavy rankings…

 

WEEKLY CHALLENGE INDIVIDUAL POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1 (2) Chet (Team Brooklyn) – After a long wait, Chet has stuck around long enough near the top to finally have earned his first place ranking (his consistency has to be applauded).  A stalwart rowing performance and humor laden peacekeeping showing provided the final push.  Congrats.

2 (3) Zach (Team San Diego) – Zach had a great episode, excelling as Frank’s bodyguard, as a player in  “still in need of development” games, as the arena selection decision master, and as Team St. Thomas’ biggest fan.

3 (1) Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Dustin spent much of the episode (much of it justified), falling apart.  The loss of Nany, Alton, and a trust in Trishelle were individually crushing, but all put together, devastating.  I have a feeling Mr. Zito will be able to recover next week.

4 (7) Frank (Team San Diego) – Frank did erroneously provoke several altercations, but he also walked away when Zach stepped in.  His Team San Diego “Abandon Ship” domination also amounts for a strong rise this week.

5 (5) Robb (Team St. Thomas) – I was torn on Robb this week.  On one hand, his challenge performance was a challenge in itself, but his arena win was (over Alton and Nany!) very impressive.  Ultimately, no movement in the rankings was justified.

6 (6) JD (Team Brooklyn) – JD’s 25 foot dive was the beginning move in a very respectable second place finish in “Abandon Ship” for Team Brooklyn.  His uninvolved, metaphorical wallpapering at house fights did not allow any ranking rise this time.

7 (8) Derek (Team Cancun) – Yes, Derek and Jonna were commendable in the challenge, but his role in the night’s extracurricular festivities was unnecessary.  He should know better.

ELIMINATED: Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Alton, admittedly, had a difficult time on this challenge (most likely his last).  Like twilight comebacks of other legendary athletes (Jordan on the Wizards, as mentioned in this space before), I hope we forget these ending impressions and remember all the previous good times.  Alton, thank you for going out like a pro.  Your final image on this challenge was one of the warrior you have always been.  May your next paradise trip be a better one.

THE WOMEN

1 (1) Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – An under the radar week for this close to dethrone-proof leader of women is only a good thing at this stage.  Her ability to stay out of the nighttime house rumble (Sarah – Please tell me how you were able to do it) may be her most incredible feat yet (Really, were you sleeping and if so, how do you do it?  Amazing).

2 (4) Marie (Team St. Thomas) – If someone had told me this summer that I was going to write a weekly The Challenge power rankings column and that in week 10 I would have no trouble placing Marie second on the women’s rankings, the struggle to believe them would have been real.  Marie – you have earned this placement (awesome work all around this week, unintentional Sam/plant meet-up notwithstanding) and have had to overcome so much to get here.  Seriously fantastic work.

3 (6) Ashley (Team San Diego) – Ashley again excels at being a genuine and kind person (and is even criticized for being too nice) and is a beast at challenges.  Her always patient presence with her teammates (and especially with pseudo cuddle buddy CJ gone) is an asset to San Diego’s success.

4 (5) Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – A low key week for Devyn (it was inevitable after last week’s real hair reveal), but her athletic showings seem to be getting better and better.  Bare in mind, Devyn came in to The Challenge a clothing shopper aficionado out of the mall when it came to being a worthy competitor.  She has come a long way.

5 (8) Jonna (Team Cancun) – Jonna is back in the mix (her “Abandon Ship” twosome appearance killed it), but now she needs to find a way to keep Derek away from late night drama (a tall order if the preview for next week is any indication).

6 (7) Sam (Team San Diego) – Poor Sam.  Marie pushed Derek into her and she fell on some plant pots.  Often the recipient of the wrath of teammates, this was an unexpected low.

7 (3) Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Trishelle had a very difficult week (tough diving experience in the challenge, didn’t step up in the arena, the disintegration of her team) and it is largely because of her decisions.  It is in her best interest to come clean, take some responsibility (Dustin may be more stubborn than than she is) and recognize that her partner is one of the best male competitors in the game and the road to winning $250,000.

ELIMINATED: Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Nany is really the victim in the Team Vegas implosion and could not have come out on the other side looking better than she does.  With so many rookies on this challenge, it was a question as to who was going to separate themselves from the masses and Nany may have one of the most successful at doing so. (On an unrelated note, do you remember when Preston was in this game, because I momentarily forgot?)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1 (2) TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 3, last week: 3.5

Sarah (1), Chet (1), JD (6), Devyn (4)

Can they win as foursome? They keep humming along as a foursome (even utilizing the talents of JD – this week deep sea diving and last week eating random things).  While other teams have faced internal turmoil, Brooklyn has remained unified and strong.  At this point in the game, it makes sense that they are ranked first.

What pairings can win?  The same is true as last week: Sarah and Chet can still win The Challenge.  Sarah could probably get JD to the finish line as well.  I am not sure Devyn would be able to finish with either Chet or Sarah and will be better within a foursome.  Additionally, Sarah and Chet have many ways of working together (this week rowing the boat and facilitating a conversation between Dustin and Trishelle to name a few) and this is only to their advantage if they make the finals.

2 (3) TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 3.5, last week: 4.5

Robb (5), Marie (2), Eliminated: Laura, Trey

Can they win as a pair?  Yes.  Their arena showing (especially following such a demoralizing challenge) is very impressive.  Marie and Robb are fighters and I think it helps that in this twosome, Marie’s stronger personality is given room to lead, whereas Robb’s reliable and protective tendencies will help keep Marie out of trouble.  The previewed fight with Derek will be a barometer of just how resilient these two really are.

3 (4) TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 4, last week: 6.75

Zach (2), Sam (7), Ashley (3), Frank (4)

Can they win as foursome? I think we can move last week’s “who knows” answer to this question to “sometimes” or “it depends on the week.”  If San Diego can continue to have good weeks (at this point we know bad weeks will happen, but they may be able to hang on long enough to avoid them), they are going to be tough to beat in a final (Frank and Zach are just so uber-competitive and Ashley is a very strong women).

What pairings can win?  Last week I wrote: Both guys could compete with Ashley against the other strong teams (Vegas, Sarah/Chet), but the Zach/Sam pairing seems to have a dynamic, winning quality (at least in arenas).  This all remains true, but if San Diego can keep their foursome intact, this won’t even be an issue.

4 (1) TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 5, last week: 2.5

Dustin (3), Trishelle (7), Eliminated: Nany, Alton

Can they win as a pair? Yes, I think so (despite the real relationship sever that occurred between these two this week).  Both are super competitive (different manifestations), stubborn, prideful, and want to win the money.  I think they can put their Humpty Dumpty of a team back together again in time to be a player in the finals.

5 (5) TEAM CANCUN Average: 6, last week: 8

Jonna (5), Derek (7), Eliminated: CJ, Jasmine

Can they win as a pair? Athletically, yes.  Mentally, I am not sure.  I have not liked what I have seen from Derek these past few weeks.  He seems to be falling apart at the seems.  I am not sure if they have a captain or have the right balance to steer this ship, although I wouldn’t count out Jonna just yet…

And finally, during the “NEXT ON THE CHALLENGE” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Dustin and Trishelle are still around (I got you MTV editors, you tried to conceal them in the shot, but they are there.)
  • Zach and Marie find the bus to be a great time to erupt at one another
  • and Robb finally seems to want to confront Derek about this week’s pushing incident by tearing off his shirt and screaming at him.

We are approaching the home stretch!  There are only a few episodes remaining (sadly), so do not miss a moment.  Tune in at 10 PM on MTV for the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons.

David Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out weekly on Derek Kosinski’s UltimateChallengeRadio.com.  The Week 11 power rankings will be available sometime after December 6.

 

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 7

The ends of prolific athlete careers can be difficult for both athlete and fan to endure.  Frequently during those final games of final seasons all that remains is a shell of the former self, a shadow and a memory of the good times we’ve had and a reminder of just how quickly time can pass us by.  Larry Bird’s final season in 1992, before his career succumbed to a debilitating back injury, had such a quality.  I remember on a Sunday afternoon in March listening to a throwback game on the radio against the Blazers when Larry was the Legend again for one last time.  As young fan and admirer of my Celtics hero, I knew that this was a special day that I should cherish because there would not be too many more like them (Bird retired that summer).

On rare occasion there is a moment like 1998 Michael Jordan (the Bryon Russell crossover, game-winning basket against Utah that could have been the perfect ending for the greatest basketball player of all-time), when an athlete is able to walk away on the absolute top of the sport that he has dominated.  The promise of these Jordan first endings is often cancelled out by the athlete’s hunger to compete again, resulting in ill-advised comebacks that nostalgically pull at our heart strings and make us yearn for a hopeful reality that is realistically condemned to the past tense as hard as we may wish for it to be like old times.  Watching Jordan on the Wizards in the early 2000s (or Magic in his mid 90s Laker comeback) was at first special because it was Michael in certain flashes, but inevitably was disappointing and painful because it was just not the same player.

In my preseason The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons rankings, I had Alton firmly ranked at number 1.  This is what I wrote at the time:

“Many of you new Challenge viewers will not remember Alton (he was last on The Inferno 3 in 2007).  All I can say is, watch out competition.   Alton is the MJ of Challenge lore.  It would be like if MJ retired in 1993, but instead of coming back in 1995 against largely the same competition, he came back in 2002 to show upstarts like Mr. Bryant and Mr. Iverson just whose league it really was (ironically, this is what he ended up doing with the Wizards).  Alton is a physical specimen (pre Challenge steroid era), super competitive, and a really nice guy.  He is in Turkey for one reason only – to win.  The question is will he be able to bring his teammates along (a la 1991 Jordan) for the ride?  Also, is Nany then his Kwame Brown?  If so, does that make Trishelle his Jud Buechler?”

First off, Nany and Trishelle: I apologize for ever comparing you to Kwame Brown and Jud Buechler.  This is a major misjudgment on my part.  You both have proven yourselves worthy competitors.  As for my Alton assessment, I may have been right to compare him to preretirement MJ, but Wizards MJ is a far superior 2.0 than Alton has turned out to be.  On this week’s aptly titled “Going Insane” episode of The Challenge, we witnessed the unraveling of a former great into a shell of his former self.  (It would be like out of retirement Jordan playing on the Wizards for a month and then quitting on his team because he couldn’t handle the jabbing and joking from Kwame Brown and Richard Hamilton.)  This tragic and terrible fall from grace was depicted throughout the hour in the following incidents:

Incident #1: Alton versus Frank in the gym

This childish man-off got physical (a little pushing by the weights) and could have erupted, but Alton didn’t think it was the time.  Frank was “here all day, bro” and could have continued his verbal sparring beyond the workout session.  It was unfortunate to watch Frank so easily bring Alton down.  The status difference in this space between veteran and rookie was remarkable.  Alton has always been a shorter man who looked humungous.  In this case, he was just a shorter man who looked short.

Incident #2: Alton doesn’t want to go to a beach party

In order for the beach party to happen, all cast members must attend, and Alton wants to stay home and sabotage the fun because he is “just generally annoyed by these kids and their bravado.”  Two of his only (barely hanging on) allies, Sarah and Dustin, kindly plead their case, but Alton seems to care less.  When Frank gets wind of the ensuing storm, he calls it like it is, “It is kind of selfish and you are kind of throwing a temper tantrum like a little five year old.”  Alton leaves the room and then in an amazing moment of loyalty, Dustin supports his Vegas teammate in front of Frank (“another man doesn’t get in people’s face”).  Compared to Dustin’s chivalry and poise, Alton looked like a broken and selfish individual.

Incident #3: The Insane Games

In the first event, “The Chariot Race,” Alton took the reigns as the horse runner and led Vegas to an early lead.  Five years ago, this would be a show of Alton’s athletic and competitive dominance.  There was no way that he would let anyone catch his team.  In the fall of 2012, Alton was not only caught and beaten by young guns Frank (leading San Diego to second) and CJ (leading Cancun to first place), but Alton was so gassed that TJ had to actively cajole him to continue with his team on the next event.  Here is Frank’s take: “Alton, I just beat you and now you are on the ground.  Do you feel emasculated?  Because you should.”  Ouch.

Incident #4: Alton and Zach conversation in the kitchen

After Team New Orleans (the feisty twosome of Knight and Jemmye) wins the “Insane Games” challenge, Alton approaches Zach in the kitchen to ask him to tell Knight to throw in Vegas.  Two things are terribly wrong: 1) He can’t even ask Knight on his own and 2) HE WANTS TO HAVE VEGAS THROWN IN TO THE ARENA!!!  Why Alton? “For me, the arena is the path out of here.”  What is going on?

Incident #5: Alton’s conversation with Nany and Trishelle

Alton tells his Vegas female teammates that he “would love to go into the arena and lose,” forgetting that his selfish decision would result in one of their eliminations, and Nany and Trishelle understandably do not want to go home.  Nany (growing week by week as an irrepressible life force in this game) brings it and asks Alton if the Zach and Frank bullying is at the root of Alton’s unrest.  Alton won’t come close to listening.  “I don’t see it as throwing it.  I see it as letting the kids have fun.”  He continues, “If I want to go into an arena to use it as a passport back to the states, that is what I am going to do.”  Who is this imposter pretending to be Alton?

Incident #6: Alton discusses the situation with Sarah and Trey

This is where things get even weirder.  He tells us that he came on The Challenge this season because “he just wanted a vacation.”  According to Alton, team rumblings about Nany and Dustin going in to the arena (to prevent Alton from screwing over Trishelle or Nany) must not be taken seriously and that they will inevitably chicken out, giving Alton the exit opportunity he so covets.

Incident #7: Alton at the arena with Zach and CJ

Team Cancun and San Diego alpha males are surprised that after all of his talk, Alton is not even going to compete for his team in the arena.  CJ calls him out, Alton objects to the screaming, and Zach gets in his face and tells Alton, “I’m not screaming.”  Poor Nany and Dustin are trying to focus on arena strategy while their “teammate” makes a scene on the sidelines.  Both CJ and Zach have “tough to hear but likely true” interview takes.  Zach:  “He’s just an old fart who is lucky enough to get a call to come here.”  CJ: “I thought Alton was the man who wanted to prove himself as a competitor.”  CJ, I thought the same thing.  I guess we were both wrong.

Incident #8: Alton’s final fall

Perhaps the least overt Alton incident may be the most telling.  During Nany and Dustin’s eventual arena victory over Trey and Laura, you can hear Alton speaking to Trishelle about Nany and Dustin’s apparent struggles, “These kids, they don’t listen.”  In these five condescending words, Alton’s fall has finally reached its low point.  No, he has not left the show yet, but his complete disrespect for Nany and Dustin, two people (especially Dustin), who have been so supportive to him throughout the season, is unforgivable.  Maybe “Zach and Frank have gotten to his head” as Trishelle suggests.  Maybe this is some evil Alton clone who has come to the Challenge to disparage the mighty “kids.”  Maybe an epiphany will occur and he will suddenly snap back into the Challenge hero that I remember, but I fear it may be too late.  Time may heal these wounds and someday we will remember Alton again for that incredible competitor that so impressed us in the past, but for now, we are left with a selfish, unpredictable, horrible teammate, and questionable dude.

Before we hit the rankings, here are a few more non Alton-tidbits to pull from this episode:

  • The Insane Games were completely silly and MTV has a GREAT time with it.  The “ear pull” and “egg drop” took close to zero strategy (Chet: “There is no strategy to ear pull.  I mean, what do you do?”), but producers sure had fun in post production with sound effects and slow motion replays.  The “15 pound fish” duel for elimination was quite the event.  I loved the intensity of Marie’s conviction about her fish dueling skills compared to Laura.  TJ’s fake horse neigh is a top ten moment of the season.
  • Before jousting in the final event, Knight hysterically pointed out the “destiny” of his name in such an event.  Good for New Orleans to achieve power team status (even if in a silly event).
  • Although Trey and Laura were eliminated in the arena, TJ pointed out “there are no quitters today,” a final dig at Big Easy.  There is nothing that TJ hates more than quitters.
  • Despite Alton’s antics, Nany and Dustin (in the arena) and Sarah (in the loser’s bracket duels against Laura) again showed their incredible resolve and drive to win.
  • Laura and Trey should be commended for lasting so long in this game.  After spending every Wednesday night with these two for the past several months, I hope their break from a weekly TV appearance will give them some real time to figure out if what is between them (there loyalty and connection are really commendable, especially in this reality TV medium).

On to the rankings, with some serious movement this week…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 11

What makes Dustin special is that he can overcome moments of justified confusion and despair (“I don’t know where to turn.  I have to clean up whatever mess Alton made.  I don’t know what to do.”) to galvanize his teammates (“Nany is like my little sister.  If she needs me to show up for her, I will.”) and find ways to win (“Dustin is a fighter.  I am thinking, I am so glad that you’re my partner.” – Nany).  As mentioned earlier, I love how he was able to be brutally honest and critical of Alton surrounded by family (in this case, Sarah and Chet), but when Frank’s wrath interrupted his space, he was loyal to Alton and kept family business private.  He didn’t want to go into the arena, but helping Nany and helping his team was more important than his personal feelings.  We see Dustin cross a physical contact line with Frank in the preview for later in the season.  Let us hope that Mr. Zito can stay in the game to have the opportunity to continue to lead his team to have a shot in the final challenge.

2. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 4 of 11

How did CJ do in the “Chariot race” event (the only event that took any real skill), Jonna? “CJ dominated it.”  Coupled with his on point stand up to Alton pre-Arena, CJ plays the game at a very high level and expects his competition (especially the best of it), to do the same.  His Landon-ian performance is still in line to have a shot in the final challenge.

3. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 2 of 11

Zach was on Derrick Kosinski’s podcast last week and perhaps his most telling statement was about Frank’s incredible endurance in challenges.  This was on display in the “Chariot Race” and in the preview for the rest of the season.  Frank takes a slight dip this week because although he may have showed up Alton in their little tiffs, Dustin came across as the more righteous dude in his heated encounters with Frank.

4. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 3 of 11

Chet’s line of the week during the challenge: “JD already looked like an idiot.  I guess it’s my turn.”

5. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 11

Zach is back in the big boy mix with an informative ultimatechallengeradio.com podcast, some justified tension with Alton, and the realization that he and Frank are running one part of the house.  In a astute hypothetical question posed by Derrick on the podcast about a rookie dream team in future challenges, I was further impressed with his selection and competitor respect for supposed opponent Dustin.

6. Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week 8 of 11

Yes, “The Insane Games” were foolish, but the Team New Orleans victory was a significant accomplishment for Knight and Jemmye.  Respect for Knight grows by the week.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 7 of 11

8. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 11

Derek was silent, whereas Robb, for the first time in many weeks, had something to say of real value.  His competitive fire during the challenge and his arena support of Trey and Laura were refreshing and appreciated.  The foreshadowed duel between these two (as again previewed in the promo for the rest of the season) will determine the ultimate power advantage to these two “nice guys, happy to be here” competitors.

9. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 11

JD’s week was encapsulated in the following quotations:

Chet, on JD’s look during the “Chariot Race”: “He looks like a prepubescent Secretariat.”

JD, on why he struggled so much: “Not only am I having to pull Chet, I’m having to pull his big ego, Devyn’s double D tits, and Sarah, so it is a lot of weight to carry.”

Chet, on why JD failed his team: “He was horsing around too much.”

Devyn, on how Sarah’s fish faired against Laura’s in the loser’s bracket elimination: “The fish put in more effort than JD did in the horse challenge.  I am just saying.”

10. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 11

See above.  One final note: Alton’s low ranking and current game doghouse designation do not have to be permanent.  He is welcome to break out of this undesirable state at any time.  Sadly, if the after show (hosted by hair fashion novice Jonny Moseley) is any indication, there may be some issues going on with our fallen hero.  I am hoping that I am wrong.

ELIMINATED: Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 11

Biggest Rise: Robb (Team St. Thomas, kind of a surprise at this point)

Biggest Fall: Alton (Team Las Vegas)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 11

Sarah takes care of her business.  She destroys Laura in the loser’s round (“My game face is on.  I never thought in a million years I would be so serious about smacking someone with a fish.”), keeping Team Brooklyn out of the arena for the first time since Team Austin left.  She understands that her connection with Alton (the after show proved that it was never anything too serious, let alone a relationship) is not worth jeopardizing the strength of her team: “I am way more concerned about Brooklyn than I am about anything going on with Alton.  Everything that he is involved with is an extra stress that I definitely don’t need…I don’t have the energy to deal with that.  I will give him his space.”  This social-emotional intelligence flexing is an asset to Sarah and her team.  She is not blinded by a crush to understand that Alton has reached a tipping point away from “fun to hang out with” and towards “volatile and may need some space.”

2. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 3 of 11

Nany has earned her way to number 2 in these rankings.  Since her clothes in the pool episode (so not her fault), she has been a consummate fighter and a formidable competitor.  She handled the Alton situation with great poise and strength (“I am not going to go out of this game looking like a punk.”) and was willing to step up to the arena sand to take matters of her fate in this game into her own hands.  It also helps her that, if traditional practice dictates, she will continue to be linked to Dustin in arena battles and won’t have to worry about whether Alton is ready to end his vacation.

3. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 11

4. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 4 of 11

Consistent and drama free work coupled with unquestioned team unity translates to frontrunner status.  Will this blissful existence remain when J and J are actually challenged in this The Challenge?

5. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 8 of 11

This “softball player [who] knows how to throw eggs” may not be having any victory sex tonight with Knight (her response was one of the episode’s finest moments), but her power team accomplishment moves her up into the top five in the rankings.  For all their dysfunction as a couple, as a couple of teammates, Knight and Jemmye are loyal, communicative, and dynamic.  I will not be surprised if they continue to go far in this game.

6. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 11

“I don’t want to stay here with Alton.  That is like a death sentence for Team Vegas.”  Sadly for Trishelle, her potential linkage with Alton in an arena lowers her stock in this game.  Can she put on your poker face girl and get your Vegas housemate in line?

7. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 7 of 11

I wasn’t sure why Marie wanted to fish attack so badly (“Whenever you are in a competition, you pick your best player, and it is probably me.”), but from the result, clearly she was right.  She wants to win (Alton could learn a thing or two) and knew Laura would not do well against Sarah.  With Laura/Trey out of the picture, she and Robb have an opportunity to prove themselves in this competition.  I can now say with strong assurance that no matter what, Marie will bust everything she has to make this happen.

8. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 11 of 11

Zach’s positive podcast comments about Ashley’ competitor worth moved her up a few spots this week.  I am still waiting for more intel and screen time from this one.

9. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 6 of 11

It is not that Devyn got weaker, it is just that her competition seems to be a little stronger.  With that said, she is giving Brooklyn teammate Chet a run for his money as the best interview on this show.

10. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 9 of 11

It looks like next week’s preview (of Sam struggling in the challenge) may be the validation for her bottom ranking.

ELIMINATED: Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 11

Biggest Rise: Jemmye (Team New Orleans)

Biggest Fall: Devyn (Team Brooklyn)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 4, last week: 4.25 (2)

CJ (2), Jonna (3), Jasmine (4), Derek (7)

They are back on top again with a strong showing in the challenge and a CJ step up to Alton.

2. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 4.75, last week: 3.5 (1)

Alton (10), Dustin (1), Trishelle (6), Nany (2)

Alton’s insanity is the cause for their big drop.  Nany, Dustin, and Trishelle would be the strongest team of three.

3. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 5.5, last week: 8 (5)

Knight (6), Jemmye (5), Eliminated: McKenzie, Preston

Team New Orleans at number 3?  What is this?

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 5.75, last week: 4.75 (3)

Sarah (1), Chet (4), JD (9), Devyn (9)

JD and Devyn find their ways back to the bottom of the rankings, further pushing the full Team Brooklyn down with them.

4. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 6.5, last week: 7 (4)

Zach (5), Sam (10), Ashley (8), Frank (3)

The Frank and Zach tandem are a huge force in this game, but the female contingent is still unproven.

6. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 7.5, last week: 9.5 (6)

Robb (8), Marie (7), Eliminated: Laura, Trey

Marie and Robb are primed for a resurgence out of the Trey and Laura shadow.

 TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  

1. Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 1.5

T-3. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2.5, CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 2.5

4. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 3 

5. Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3.5

T-7. Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 5, Sarah and JD (Team Brooklyn) Average: 5

T-9. Knight and Jemmye (Team New Orleans) Average: 5.5, Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 5.5

10. Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 6

And finally, during the “STILL TO COME ON BATTLE OF THE SEASONS” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Frank and Sam going at it in a challenge
  • Marie vomits
  • Frank goes off on a teammate
  • Dustin and Frank have a physical altercation
  • Marie cries on the bus
  • Zach and Frank have an altercation
  • Devyn says, “You just got your ass beat by the same girl chasing your ex-girlfriend.”
  • JD vomits
  • The final challenge in the desert looks impossible
  • Dustin hits Frank

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

David Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out every Monday on Derek Kosinski’s UltimateChallengeRadio.com.  The Week 8 power rankings will be available on November 11.