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THE CHALLENGE: FREE AGENTS Preseason Power Rankings – Men Division – Part I

March 31, 2014 David Bloom Leave a comment

So it begins…

At long last, the season premiere of the new The Challenge season, Free Agents, is a mere days away (the season premiere is Thursday, April 10, at 10:00 PM EST). The Challenge, the fifth MAPS (Major American Professional Sport), is entering its 25th season as a cultural institution of competition, entertainment, and nighttime extra-curricular activities. A consummate star (capital “S”) maker and cultivator (Johnny Bananas, TJ Lavin the Great, CT, the Miz, Ruthie, Paula Walnuts), Twitter chatter centerpiece, and the only entity to be on both the professional sports and reality television Mount Rushmore, The Challenge is a modern pioneer and trendsetter for what greatness is all about. Like in “love” and in “war,” all “is fair” in The Challenge (thank you for this, Sir Bananas), and Free Agents proves to be an entirely new and innovative chapter to add to this proven commodity’s prolific history.

Culture Challenged will be following The Challenge: Free Agents every step of the way this season with commentary, interviews, recaps, Zapruder film analysis, and weekly power rankings. Before we delve deep into the first part of the preseason power rankings (the men will be first up), let us peruse the MTV.com season description (a luxury not often released until after the season begins) to discover more. The MTV description is in bold and my commentary is below.

Twenty-eight money-hungry competitors arrive in Punta del Este, Uruguay,
Yes! A return to South America! Clearly a professional sport that sets the international trends, this summer’s World Cup and the 2016 Olympics and Rio are following The Challenge‘s lead. The only previous season to begin in a South American country was The Duel (season 13) and the last time our favorite competitors set foot this far below the equator in the Western Hemisphere was on Rivals (season 21) when Johnny Bananas did some winning and Laurel did some Cara Maria defending.
expecting to be teamed up with an ex, an enemy, or even a weak rookie.
Is “weak rookie” referring to LaToya? Johnny from Bridgewater? Swifty? You can call rookie Nia many things, but weak would not be one of them. Honestly, when the competitors size up the competition, which rookie is the one nobody wants to work with? The rankings may provide some answers…
Little do they know, this is an individual game, and they’ll be answering to no one but themselves in the most unpredictable Challenge ever.
This is a lofty statement. One could argue that the Shauvon implant experience represents the ceiling of unpredictability, but that’s just me. Either way, an unpredictable game format is only a good thing.

The 25th season, Free Agents, forces players to compete on their own in a battle of perseverance and luck.
“Perseverance” sounds promising. “Luck” does not. For savvy veterans like the Legendary Johnny Bananas, CT, and Laurel, they have earned a certain status to not have to worry about an elimination based upon chance. Evening the playing field is one thing. Respecting the sanctity of earned greatness of the elite competitors is quite another.
The players will have no idea if they’ll be competing in teams, pairs or as individuals until moments before each challenge begins.
Now we are talking, Bunim-Murray. One of the great opportunities for The Challenge are the challenges (Yes, it can get confusing when the name of the professional sport is the same name as the events that take place within the professional sport). I love the potential application of this conceit. Forcing competitors to pick a partner or to pick teams will immediately identify the totem pole of respect, the value placed on winning over alliance loyalty, and we will finally see what happens when petty schoolyard hurt feelings come to The Challenge arena (wait, we have already seen this many times).
Winners are not only safe from elimination, but also have the power to choose one guy and one girl to send in.
Yes, this is a stock The Challenge formula, but since it works, there is no need to fix it.
The losers from that day’s challenge must take part in the game’s biggest elimination twist yet, “The Draw”, where one guy and one girl are selected by pure chance to face the two nominated players in the elimination round.
“Luck” immediately sounds better with a name like “The Draw” surrounding it. I really hope the edit shows a healthy dose of “The Draw” talk. Also, who will be the first competitor to whip out the clever, albeit cliché “Win, Lose, or Draw” allusion? My money is either on The Legendary Johnny Bananas or Leroy.
With competitors’ fates being determined by a flip of a card, no amount of strategy can protect them.
Or, in other words, the only way to ensure safety is to win challenges. Never mind, I have changed my mind on the whole “perseverance and luck” duo. This will be legit.

A grand total of $350,000 is up for grabs, and with so much money on the line, these already blood-thirsty competitors turn vicious.
Listen, “blood-thirsty” may be stretching this a little too far…
Heated rivalries will take shape, bitter enemies will clash, and heart-tugging relationships will form.
This could be the composition of any The Challenge season description. I, for one, am most interested in what “heart-tugging” relationships will form. It all sounds so perfectly dramatic.
Only the lucky few will face the epic final challenge that starts in dangerous rapids and ends at the top of an active volcano.
End of season SPOILER ALERT!
In the end, this season will find the most worthy challenger yet, the ultimate FREE AGENT.
And then it begins…on to part 1 of the The Challenge: Free Agents Preseason Power Rankings – Men Division.

PRESEASON POWER RANKINGS – MEN DIVSION

THE ROOKIES

14) JOHNNYWhere did we last see him? The last time we saw Johnny and his long-lasting buzz cut, he was curled up next to his two favorite lady friends, Daisy and Averey, on The Real World: Portland, surviving an infamous hairdryer and a few Hurricane Nias.
The Challenge History: This is his first Challenge.
Why would you sign Johnny? The intrinsic kinship of recent past season formats were beneficial to rookie success stories (Jordan and Marlon on Rivals 2, Frank and Zach on Battle of the Seasons), but Free Agents is not likely to afford such possibility. You would sign Johnny because he will be eager and earnest in his pursuit of victory, an easily persuadable alliance member (he fits the definition of “happy to be here”), and he is no longer distracted on a daily basis by Averey’s all-consuming beauty (Sources say that a Bridgewater breakup has occurred). He flirted with a pro hockey career, so he has some serious athletic chops.
Why would you not sign Johnny? He is a classic rookie patsy for conspiratorial veterans to pounce on. Unlike the other two men from his Real World: Portland season who were ready-made The Challenge competitors, no one was chomping at the bit to see Johnny spread his athletic prowess on The Challenge game field, despite his hockey skills (there are not likely to be too many hockey rinks in Uruguay). Also, are we sure Johnny can handle this much time apart from Daisy?
Potential Allies: Portland mate Jordan, CT and Zach (Greater Boston ties could run deep), Swift (on his own rookie island as well)
Potential Enemies: Nia (the hairdryer indentations on his head prove it)
Best-case scenario: Johnny gets lucky early when the group targets Swifty first, allowing Johnny to stick around a little longer than expected.
Worst-case scenario: Johnny is the first guy thrown into an elimination and loses to a tough competitor picked by “The Draw.”
The Verdict: The Challenge has only room for one Johnny. This will be a short, forgettable first season for Bridgewater’s own.

13) SWIFT Where did we last see him? We last took frequent naps (a bit of a yawn of a season) while watching Swifty pull live chicken pranks on Real World: St. Thomas, or as I like to call it, “The Real World: when we find out what happens when people stop being polite and are isolated from the rest of society by a body of water: i.e. boredom.”
The Challenge History: This is his first Challenge.
Why would you sign Swift? Swift is a little bit of an irrational confidence guy in the Vernon Maxwell/Jamal Crawford mold. How good he is may be a question for others to pose, but in Swift’s mind, he is the best, and this could be useful against this season’s veteran guy murderer’s row.
Why would you not sign Swift? Like Johnny, in a cast of veterans, rookies tend to stand out. His height and size could be an issue in any challenges that require brute force.
Potential Allies: St. Thomas bickering partner LaToya (there just aren’t a lot of other options here)
Potential Enemies: I cannot see Swift getting along too well with Jordan, Frank, or Nia; his irrational confidence ego
Best-case scenario: Swift gets lucky early when the group targets Johnny first, allowing Swift to stick around a little longer than expected.
Worst case scenario: Swift is the first guy thrown into an elimination and loses to a tough competitor picked by “The Draw.”
The Verdict: Like his Real World season, Swift’s first season on The Challenge will be soon forgotten, but this time not because of boredom, but because of shortness (and I may also be referring to the length of his stay).

BACK FROM SYDNEY

12) ISAACWhere did we last see him? We last saw Isaac, probably still reeling from the CT and Adam violent brawl on night one, lose to all-time great Landon in an elimination on season 17 of The Duel II.
The Challenge History: The Duel II was Isaac’s one and only Challenge and he last five episodes.
Why would you would sign Isaac? Isaac has always been a little bit of a wild card, and in an individual game, this can be an asset. His long Challenge absence could be used to his advantage as an up for grabs alliance member (CT, Aneesa, and Cohutta are the only people who have been on a season with him before).
Why would you not sign Isaac? He may be the closest thing The Challenge has to Tyson Zone membership. As Real World: Sydney viewers may remember, Isaac was an actual juvenile delinquent, and, after years of heavy LSD use, would occasionally hallucinate about prophetic birds (and no, I am not making this up). He is older now and undoubtedly more grounded, but I am not sure a Challenge house is the best environment for someone with some unstable tendencies.
Potential Allies: Cohutta (Sydney Strong), CT (Animalistic Connectedness Strong)
Potential Enemies: I am not sure that Isaac and Camila will have much in common, hallucinations
Best-case scenario: Since we last saw him, Isaac has become an athletic beast that everyone fears, destroying competition in eliminations and in the social game. This could get him as far as the middle episodes.
Worst-case scenario: A black bird hallucination means something most awful and he takes himself out of the game to protect fellow competitors from impending doom.
The Verdict: Honestly, I have no idea what to expect. It has been so long and it is hard to know both how the others will take to him and how he will take to the others. My best guess is that he will be a mellower version of his former self, but without clear bonds with some of the new elite, he will find himself fending off competition in early eliminations.

11) COHUTTAWhere did we last see him? We last saw Cohutta on the classic JEK Empire victory season, The Ruins, season 19, but it feels even longer than that.
The Challenge History: Cohutta has performed in two The Challenge seasons – The Island (season 16) and The Ruins (season 19). His best finish was Top 8.
Why would you sign Cohutta? Cohutta is a really sweet guy who gets along with almost everybody. More often than not, he manages to stay above the nighttime extracurricular activities fray. His southern twang is easy to root for.
Why would you not sign Cohutta? In the past, relationship entanglements have not exactly helped his game. He is not one of the most physically intimidating guys this season. Cohutta has been out of the mix for a long time and when he was in the mix, he willed his way to relatively strong finishes by being so likable. The quality of competition this season may not be so lenient. His lack of connection to the new elite could be a problem.
Potential Allies: Isaac (Sydney Strong), I have a strong feeling that he will get along really well with fellow Southerners Dustin, Jess, and Jemmye
Potential Enemies: Brute strength in the form of Zach or CT, female entanglements
Best-case scenario: With a little bit of good fortune and some key partnering, Cohutta could slip into contention and have an outside shot at the final challenge.
Worst-case scenario: He is the unlucky recipient of the first “The Draw” iteration and gets out-muscled by a bigger guy.
The Verdict: I have a hunch that Cohutta is going to be a key player this season (A similar trajectory to Chet in Battle of the Seasons, perhaps?). In his two Challenges, he has excelled at staying a little unassuming and a little under the radar, so look for a similar strategy this time around. Although not likely, I would not be surprised to see Cohutta competing at the end.

THE LAST CHANCE?

10) BRANDONWhere did we last see him? We last saw Brandon as an ill-fated member of the dysfunction that was Team Fresh Meat on Battle of the Seasons (season 23). Thankfully, he and Cara Maria got off the sunk ship in episode three before having to witness the embarrassing elimination competition between their teammates, Camila and Big Easy, who were apparently attempting to show the worst version of themselves.
The Challenge History: Free Agents will be Brandon’s fifth season. Previous seasons include Fresh Meat II (season 19), Cutthroat (season 20), Rivals (season 21), and Battle of Seasons (23). His best previous finish was Top 10 (among guys) on Cutthroat.
Why would you sign Brandon? After much frustration and futility, this could be a make or break season for Brandon on The Challenge, so it may be a worthy risk. In the past, his teams and teammates have not been easy sells, so as a solo artist on Free Agents, he might have a greater chance at success. He well-liked and gets along with most people.
Why would you not sign Brandon? His The Challenge track record looks more like Tyrie’s than like Derrick or Kenny’s. Although well-liked, his bonds may not be the strongest. His athletic chops (despite some worthy elimination fight) remain largely in question.
Potential Allies: Cara Maria and Laurel (Fresh Meat Strong); He and Leroy are Las Vegas buddies
Potential Enemies: Isaac does not seem to be someone he will find points of connection with; If he watched any of Real World: Portland, Brandon will be having none of Hurricane Nia; things did not end well with Camila on Battle of the Seasons
Best-case scenario: Brandon makes the right alliances, stays out of the ire of challenge winners, and has some luck with “The Draw” to make it to the middle of this game (Top 6 or 7).
Worst-case scenario: An early elimination drawing against one of the frontrunners sends Brandon packing prematurely.
The Verdict: Brandon, due to many past disappointments, is one of several people this season who has the most to prove, but consequently, may have the most to lose. If he doesn’t take the leap on Free Agents this season, five seasons of mediocrity may be the death knell on his The Challenge career. I think that there is a realistic shot that he could go far, but it is hard to see him beating any of the frontrunners one on one.

NO KNIGHT, NO PROBLEMS

9) PRESTONWhere did we last see him? Although during his eventual Rivals 2 (season 24) elimination episode, we last saw Preston saving face and more than showing up his disgraceful partner and until Free Agents, Bunim-Murray cellmate, Knight.
The Challenge History: This is Preston’s third season on The Challenge, but first season away from the haunting shadow of Knight as a teammate on both Battle of the Seasons (season 23) and Rivals 2 (season 24).
Why would you sign Preston? Preston’s potential can now be finally unleashed outside of Knight’s demeaning and derogatory wrath. This freedom could propel one of the best long distant runners on the show into the top group of men. He has a great social game and seems to bond with everyone not named Knight. He is really tall and will be difficult for smaller players (Swift, Cohutta) to beat in more physical eliminations.
Why would you not sign Preston? His will to compete has been a growing work in progress. He still may have some athleticism and risk aversion opportunities. Does he live to compete in Challenges?
Potential Allies: Jemmye and the other woman of the house; Frank, reasonable people, and any anti-Knight faction that is thrilled to see him freed from Knight’s darkness
Potential Enemies: His will to compete
Best-case scenario: The best-case scenario for Preston involves a whole lot of elimination luck and some solidified alliances, but there is a slight chance that he could be on the verge of a final if he gets the dealt the right cards and uses them effectively.
Worst-case scenario: The worst-case scenario is that his opposition to Knight was a galvanizing force at the end of last season and that the momentum built from his promising finish lacks the same motivation this time around.
The Verdict: This is a talented group of male competitors, but there are enough clear advantages for Preston to make it out of the first several eliminations. If he manages to stay out of the drama and under the radar of the game’s heavyweights, there is potential for a breakout season.

SOMETHING TO PROVE

8) ZACHWhere did we last see him? Zach was last seen sophomore slumping on Rivals 2, eventually disqualifying himself (there was a bit of a directions folly) in the Jungle elimination week 5.
The Challenge History: Free Agents will be Zach’s third straight Challenge season. His Team San Diego (where verbal abusing teammates happens) won it all on Battle of the Seasons (season 23) and the aforementioned Rivals 2 (season 24) was a bit of a letdown.
Why would you sign Zach? Zach is an athletic and physical power. He feeds off of competition and gives all of his physical and emotional self in an attempt to win. Freed from the entanglements of partnering with others (he and Trey did manage to find some common ground before imploding at the end), the Free Agents format will benefit Zach as much as anyone else. He will be hungry to bounce back from a disappointing second season.
Why would you not sign Zach? Rivals 2 exposed some of his weaknesses. Will they be quelled this time around? Although this is billed as an individual game, relationships will still matter and the ones that were most important to his success on Battle of the Seasons (Frank and then, cuddle buddy, Jonna) have either ended (Jonna) or have inexplicably gone off the rails (Frank). There is much competitive pressure in a Challenge house and Zach has yet to prove how well he can handle it.
Potential Allies: CT and Johnny (Boston Strong); it is possible that he and Frank have reconciled again
Potential Enemies: Dustin; There was some healthy antagonistic banter between Zach and Chet during Battle of the Seasons; Does Jonna have lingering animus?
Best-case scenario: Zach has the physical ability to go the end in a “every man for himself” competition and through a series of elimination gut checks and momentum gains, wills himself to a final challenge appearance (at which point it is anybody’s game).
Worst-case scenario: Zach lets other competitors get in his head and it paralyzes him in an elimination round against an inferior opponent, sending him packing earlier than expected.
The Verdict: Zach as a partner or teammate is very different than Zach as an individual. Free Agents will absolutely play to his strengths. He desperately wants to win and, on paper, is completely ready to do so. I have a feeling that his Rivals 2 sophomore slump will be an aberration in his Challenge career.

7) CHETWhere did we last see him? We last saw one of the sport’s most reliable interviewees anchoring Team Brooklyn (along with his amazing female teammate, Sarah) to a third place finish on the sand dunes of the Namibian Desert on Battle of the Seasons.
The Challenge History: This is Chet’s fourth Challenge season. Previous seasons were The Ruins (season 18), Cutthroat (season 20), and Battle of the Seasons (season 23) when his Team Brooklyn made it to the finals.
Why would you sign Chet? As Battle of the Seasons proved, Chet is more than just a bow tie promoter. Of all the men participating, he will not let the nighttime extra-curricular activities affect his game. Although totally competent athletically, others will underestimate him (as they did on Battle of the Seasons), keeping him from being targeted early and often. He has proved he can handle endurance challenges.
Why would you not sign Chet? There are several guys participating who are physically much stronger. This will be his first challenge without Sarah, and, although able to more than stand on his own, Team Brooklyn loyalty runs deep. It is unclear who he will align with this time around. He is one of the competitors who likely benefits from being part of a team.
Potential Allies: Cohutta; Johnny Bananas; Jemmye; Devyn (Brooklyn Strong, if he can forget her Namibian Desert hair choices); pretty much everyone
Potential Enemies: Zach; CT; unnecessary drama; Camila
Best-case scenario: Chet makes the right alliances early and stays out of “The Draw” against formidable competition, paving the way for another final challenge appearance.
Worst-case scenario: The Free Agents format does not align well with Chet’s strengths and forces him to have to prove himself in an early elimination against a dominating physical force.
The Verdict: Not that Battle of the Seasons was any bit of an easy go, but I think the Free Agents conceit will be a harder sell for Chet’s game. If he finds the right people to align with and competes well in challenges, he has a legitimate shot at a finals return, but the competition will be that much better this season. I expect a strong showing, but that Chet will not be as successful as he was on Battle of the Seasons.

Read Part II

"The Challenge", Features, Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Postseason Awards

October 5, 2013 David Bloom 1 Comment

Earlier this week, our (most of the time) good friends at MTV and Bunim-Murray announced that there will be (as if there was any doubt) a season 25 of The Challenge, America’s fifth major professional sport. Before we can rejoice in potential future happenings (Duel 3?), wants (Laurel to return, justice for Sarah), and predictions (Jordan is an early favorite to win) for the next season, we must reflect on the at times masterful and compelling, at times frustrating and degrading, but always reliable and entertaining just completed season of The Challenge: Rivals 2. Here is a thorough breakdown of superlatives and awards for the season that was:

Most successful use of little screen time: Anastasia, who was at the center of drama for her two episodes on the show that may have won her an improbable call to return

Least successful use of little screen time: Tyrie, whose one notable moment this season involved a very public bathroom experience

Person that hung around way too long for such a little contribution: Knight

Person whose stay in Thailand was way too short: Sarah

Most successful attempt to be silent: Ty

Worst attempt to be silent: Knight

People who had less screen time than Johnny’s Bobble Head: Tyrie, Dunbar, Robb, Naomi

Most welcome returns from at least a season of hiatus: Paula, Johnny, CT

Most unconventional workout: Aneesa, who ran on the deck through a burgeoning fight

A meltdown that I already forgot: Zach’s not so sportsmanlike exit

A meltdown that will be hard to forget: Camila’s out of nowhere (is there any other kind for her?) once a season blowout

The “It’s Time to Officially Retire” award: (tie) Trishelle and Tyrie

Low points of the season: Sarah’s unnecessary departure, Knight’s immaturity at the reunion

High points of the season: The “Bananas still has it” episode, Jordan’s hookup with Sarah, Diem’s courageous everything, CT and Johnny’s old vet conversation on the eve of the final

Most unexpected altercations: CT and Anastasia, Diem and Jemmye

Most expected altercations: Frank and CT, Frank and Jordan, Knight and Jemmye

The “My 2008 Self Could Never Have Seen This Coming” award: How well Wes and CT gelled, how Paula is in the conversation for all-time pantheon of Challenge competitors

The “My 2008 Self Saw This Coming” award: The Bananas and CT/Wes fight after Johnny’s challenge vomiting

The “Maybe The Outcome Will Be Different With Another Partner” award: Preston, who is so ready to distance himself from his New Orleans housemate

Best hidden camera moment: Jordan and Sarah’s closet hookup

Most competitive major award: Rookie of the Year, Jordan, Marlon, and Cooke all had incredible first campaigns (more on this in a bit)

The “Could You At Once Be On Time to the Party” award: Cara Maria, I just think it would give her better stability in those first few weeks

The “I Forgot You Were On This Season When Writing This Column” award: Dunbar

The Rivals 2 Media Guide Cover Would Feature: CT, Bananas, Paula, Emily, and Jordan

Best interview: Paula, consistently hysterical, self-effacing, and honest; Honorable Mention: Jemmye, CT, Jasmine

The “Sophomore Slump is a Real Thing” award: (tie) Zach and Nany

The “Sophomore Slump Doesn’t Exist” award: Frank

Best impression of a Marvel Super Hero: Jessica’s Princess Hulk

Worst impression of a Marvel Super Hero: Trishelle’s the Invisible Woman this season, Knight’s nondescript villain character that he always seems to play

Most in need of swimming lessons during the offseason: (tie) Marlon and Cara Maria

Best use of words: Johnny Bananas for the epic summation/credo “All’s fair in love, war, and challenges.” Honorable Mention: Aneesa for coining “Trashelle,” all of the #teamsubtitles communication between Camila and Jemmye

Worst use of words: Diem’s rap

The “I am Glad I can Rewind Because That Was Incredible” Award: Jordan, an uber-amazing athlete who kept finding more ways to show us why

Real World season that had the best showing: (tie) Key West (Paula and Johnny) and Portland (Jordan, Marlon, Jess, and Ana)

Worst impression of Kevin Costner: Knight’s fanboy bodyguard routine during CT’s early fights

Best impression of Kevin Costner: Frank ‘s incredible swimming was straight the Mariner from Waterworld

Best conflict resolution reflexes: Emily, at the reunion and when Camila’s drunkenness exploded

Best TJ Lavin moment: His delivery of the Zach elimination disqualification news

Worst TJ Lavin moment: When he told Sarah she had to go home. TJ, could you have at least tried to call an audible on production?

Vomiting that got the most play: (tie) Johnny’s in the final men elimination challenge before the final and the awful eating stage in the final

Best manipulation of “rivals” conceit: Johnny and Frank (A twitter war? Really?), Paula and Emily (they were thrilled to be together from the start and their performance showed this throughout)

Best player stock to buy (for future season success): Jordan

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER

MEN: FRANK

WOMEN: JEMMYE

Honorable Mention: Preston, Wes, Aneesa

Preseason Prediction – Men: Trey; Women: Jemmye

Midseason Award – Men: Frank; Women: Aneesa

In a very similar fashion to last season (speaking of fashion – Preston is setting trends – whether he has any followers or not is yet to be seen), Preston had a great last day, further showing himself as ready to be as far away from Knight’s shadow in future seasons as possible. Although some of his early season success may have been on the circumstantial end of the scale, he did make it within one elimination of the final. Wes, who had to go into an early elimination with Lacey last fall on Battle of the Seasons (an almost guaranteed subsequent loss), managed the social game as well as he ever has and has the hardware (or money in this case) to show for it. Frank is the ultimate winner of this award because, although he had some moments of his most volatile and uncontrollable self rearing its most ugly (but good for TV!) self, his leap as a loyal and dedicated teammate and friend was substantial. He and Johnny were an understandable hot (Thailand temperatures were an issue all season) mess (eating durian will cause this) during parts of the final, but Frank managed to keep any cruelty and low-blowing (poor Sam had to endure quite the barrage in Turkey and Namibia) out of the mix. His admirable passivity when faced with Knight’s premeditated violence at the live reunion is at the heart of what “most improved” is all about. On the women side, Jemmye narrowly beats out Aneesa for the award because not only did she have to compete in challenges and in the social game, but she had to learn to communicate with a partner who spoke an entirely different language.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

JORDAN

Honorable Mention: Marlon, Cooke

Preseason Prediction – Marlon

Midseason Award – Jordan

All three of them – Marlon, Cooke, and Jordan – had incredible rookie campaigns. Marlon was a fighter from the first night (I am still not sure why he and CT were fighting in the pool), successfully hooked up with both guys and girls and continues to walk the walk of being himself, and had the best attempt at bringing down the tomfoolery of Knight of anyone on the cast. His Challenge career has only yet begun. Cooke began in the no-woman’s land of a partnership with the endearing, but less than athletic Naomi (who had to go home for honorable familial reasons), but managed to take full advantage of her second partner’s improved competitorness. She fought through many an elimination, used her down time effectively (peeing or allowing others to pants her), and was a consummate cheerleader, motivator, and warrior in challenges. She too is primed for a successful future career, but her first season second place finish will always stand as a major achievement. Jordan ultimately wins the award (and was a legitimate MVP candidate) for not only dominating every challenge put before him, but for fully understanding his own strengths and weaknesses as a competitor both athletically and socially and then taking this information to adapt and evolve throughout the season as if he was the savviest of veterans. He found a perfect balance of being a rookie, respectful and aware that he would have to pay his dues to get to the finals, while also demonstrating a willingness to stand strong against attempts (poor Theresa felt so betrayed!) to persuade him against what was in his best interest. He was not afraid of the big guns (and at times told Bananas and CT thus), but he knew not to take too much effort to fight every battle (as the edit may have conveyed about him while in Portland). Jordan was in control of his game and dealt with each machination of adversity head on and without fear. Perhaps his greatest feat of the season: despite her brief stay in the Thailand house, Jordan managed to build a romantic rapport with Sarah that led to a little hot and heavy rendezvous in front of the hidden closet cameras. As he said at the time, “Physically Sarah is beautiful, and then add her personality in there and she is an amazing catch for anyone…Sarah is the kind of girl that you marry.” This now Rookie of the Year winner just gets it.

MVP

MEN: CT

WOMEN: PAULA & EMILY

Honorable Mention: Johnny Bananas, Jordan, Wes, Cooke

Preseason Prediction – Men: Johnny Bananas (runner up: Leroy); Women: Emily (runner up: Sarah)

Midseason Award – Men: Johnny Bananas (runner up: CT); Women: Emily and Paula (tie)

Johnny Bananas summarized the men side of this award best in the final episode: “You win some and you lose some, but I hate to say it, but I think that the team that deserved to win won today. Rivalry between me and CT aside, the guy’s put in his time. We’ve spilled the same blood in the same mud. It’s only appropriate for him to at some point get a win.” CT is the rightful MVP. As for the women, how can you choose between Paula and Emily? Only a co-win does justice to their season of dominance, teamwork, determination, drive, and commitment. They aligned from TJ’s initial partnership announcement and never strayed from their dedication and support of each other. They are so much of what is so good about this fifth professional sport.

FINAL RIVALS 2 POWER RANKINGS

MEN

CT
Wes
Bananas
Frank
Jordan
Marlon
Leroy
Trey
Ty
Zach
Preston
Dunbar
Robb
Derek
Tyrie
Knight

WOMEN

(tie) Paula/Emily
Cooke
Cara Maria
Sarah
Aneesa
Jemmye
Camila
Diem
Jonna
Nany
Jasmine
Jessica
Theresa
Anastasia
Trishelle
Naomi

One final note: It has been quite a ride this season for yours truly. Thank you for all of your feedback and the time and energy you gave to reading my usually longer than necessary pieces. Thank you to the cast for making this journey so enjoyable and for your consistent and humbling spreading of the word. See you all next season (and undoubtedly for some interim Challenge columns in between…)!

"The Challenge", Features, Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Finale Recap

September 26, 2013 David Bloom 5 Comments

Hold on. Let me just catch my breath. My heart is still pounding.

Final episode nights of competition based reality television programs (and I realize that The Challenge is so much more than that, but for purposes of my argument, let us buy in) are often a bit anticlimactic. First, the trials, tribulations, and extracurricular nighttime activities that stretch the heart of the season frequently seem to have more pickles in the fish soup jar than the season’s culminating act. The journey to get there is more engaging than the there. Once the winner is no longer in doubt (I cannot remember a final challenge that was a real nail-biter), the momentum is drained from the proceedings faster than a Tyrie elimination. Second, if there is a “reunion special,” it is usually a perfect excuse to practice DVR fast-forwarding skills. Either the host is out his league (more on this in a bit, think Donald Trump on The Apprentice whose live finales are an exercise in why) or the over abundance of segments and network micromanaging (I am looking at you every Survivor reunion – can we please just let the great Jeff Probst do his thing?) yields a clunky, poorly constructed, commercial interruption-fest.

Last night was the final night of this season of The Challenge: Rivals 2, the universally accepted fifth American professional sport. The Final itself, an at times cruel and unusual punishment of a checkpoint completion based Thailand run around “Nightmare Island” (it had to have been named for the third idol station that Wes deemed “the worst restaurant” ever) had its memorable moments (a play by play to come), but the real mouth burning came in the live reunion special, hosted unintentionally comedically by Jonny Moseley who did his best impression of a human train wreck throughout the epic proceedings. Also, as a point of clarification, the reunion special was LIVE (from New York!), often a clichéd forum for “anything to happen” that most commonly means dull and boring (risk aversion persists when the edit is only on a five-second delay), but this live reunion special was different. Shocking interactions, disturbing acts of violence, beautiful shows of emotional support, and the Moseley factor made this live reunion the story of the night and one that could have lasting implications for this series.

Before we delve into the lessons learned from the reunion special, we have a Final to deconstruct (SPOILER ALERTS TO COME) in which our final four teams, CT and Wes, Johnny and Frank (Jordan and Marlon were in fact the capsizing culprits and did not make it to the super yacht in time – your Rivals 2 brilliant rookie season will be better encapsulated in my forthcoming postseason awards column), Paula and Emily, and Cooke and Cara Maria, after a brief swim from the super yacht, battle through five idol acquisition stations on “Nightmare Island.” The first men team and the first women team to collect all idols and then complete a final canoe trip to the super yacht would win the first place prize (the second place teams are comically forced to wait on “Nightmare Island” and watch as the winners sail off into the sunset).

CHECKPOINT #1: It’s a Skull Puzzle. There are fourteen spikes on a board and one open peg. You have to jump one skull over another, eliminating spikes as you go. The point is to end up with one spike left.

QUOTE: “This puzzle is the same puzzle I play when I am hungover at a country breakfast restaurant that I like to go to.” – CT

DIFFICULTY LEVEL: Although it may depend on how much time you spend at a country breakfast restaurant (what does this even mean?) hungover, I think it is relatively straightforward.

BEST PERFORMANCE: CT (“The Puzzle Master”) and Wes dominate and build a substantial lead over Johnny and Frank.

WORST PERFORMANCE: Paula and Emily lose their lead on Cooke and Cara after the initial swim and seem to be doing what Paula declares they do best: “freak out.”

KEY MOMENT: Cara’s “sees something in her head” and figures out a successful puzzle strategy.

ORDER OF FINISH: 1. CT/Wes 2. Cooke/Cara Maria 3. Johnny/Frank 4. Paula/Emily

CHECKPOINT #2: “What’s Mine is Yours” features a math problem using the Pythagorean theorem that asks you to solve for the hypotenuse and then cut the corresponding rope that has the correct value attached to it. If you read the fine print, only one player is allowed to do the math. If you cut the wrong rope, you have to cut all five ropes.

QUOTE: “We have to solve a pythagoree theorem which is…I don’t know because I haven’t been to school since the ‘80s.” – Paula

DIFFICULTY LEVEL: Math is really hard for the competitors.

BEST PERFORMANCE: Tie. CT and Wes (apologies to his sixth grade geometry teacher) bypass the math and successfully gamble on the correct rope cut. Cooke and Cara bypass the math and realize that the color of the rope is important and mirror the CT and Wes cut. Astute work, ladies.

WORST PERFORMANCE: Frank’s ninth grade calculator over dependence comes back to haunt him.

KEY MOMENT: CT realizes that his “fat fingers” make for lousy pens.

ORDER OF FINISH: 1. CT/Wes 2. Cooke/Cara Maria 3. Johnny/Frank 4. Paula/Emily

CHECKPOINT #3: “Food Test” features the consumption of, in order, a plate full of chili peppers, pickled fish soup (as disgusting as it sounds), a plate of worms, crickets and maggots, this fruit called durian that is known for smelling awful, and fried squid. “Food Test” features vomiting (and lots of it!).

QUOTE: “Eating disgusting shit is my kryptonite. Walking into this mad scientist laboratory, I literally felt like I just walked into my absolute worst nightmare.” – Bananas

“It’s a chorus of people puking their guts out.” – Bananas

“Goodbye…worst restaurant…ever.” – Wes

DIFFICULTY LEVEL: It is a nightmare – the most impossible of missions and should have been worth so much more money than the final prize.

BEST PERFORMANCE: Paula (“What do you eat on a regular basis Paula?” asks Emily), fueled by Cooke and Cara’s desperation, eats (and vomits) at a record pace, overtaking the women team lead.

WORST PERFORMANCE: Team Cooke and Cara Maria admirably struggled to eat what appeared to be the worst meal ever conceived.

KEY MOMENT: When Wes and CT decide to swallow the chili peppers like pills. When Paula decides to dominate.

ORDER OF FINISH: 1. CT/Wes 2. Paula/Emily 3. Cooke/Cara Maria 4. Johnny/Frank

CHECKPOINT #4: “Body Issues” involves carrying twenty heavy body bags across a rice field on a stretcher with hot handles.

QUOTE: “Paula – focus, get your shit together, and help me.” – Emily

“I see Cooke and Cara struggling. I see them stopping all the time. I see them yelling, and this is just bringing me back to life!” – Paula

DIFFICULTY LEVEL: Frustratingly annoying. The bags were heavy, the food ingestion was fresh, and the repetition was killer. Wes was almost a casualty.

BEST PERFORMANCE: Johnny and Frank who did a very nice job (“second wind”) closing the gap on Wes and CT.

WORST PERFORMANCE: Cooke and Cara, who were forced to work on teaching each other the “1-2-3 lift” process a few too many times.

KEY MOMENT: When Paula got her shit together (in this checkpoint and, in truth, for Challenge historical reasons, in general).

ORDER OF FINISH: 1. CT/Wes 2. Johnny/Frank 3. Paula/Emily 4. Cooke/Cara Maria

CHECKPOINT #5: “Tunnel Vision” asked competitors to dig a whole to a trap door tunnel that leads to the idol. Compared to the previous checkpoints, this was a cakewalk.

QUOTE: “This is it, brother. Everything we have worked for. This is it.” – CT

“This is happening. This is happening.” – Emily

DIFFICULTY LEVEL: Too easy. Way to not finish with a bang, Bunim/Murray production.

BEST PERFORMANCE: Wes and CT remained a consummate team to the end.

WORST PERFORMANCE: Production for a lame final checkpoint.

KEY MOMENT: CT and Wes and Emily and Paula finished first and won Rivals 2.

ORDER OF FINISH: 1. CT/Wes 2. Paula/Emily 3. Johnny/Frank 4. Cooke/Cara Maria

CT after nine previous attempts and almost a decade of Challenge appearances, wins his first Challenge.

Wes, who hasn’t won in a “solid six years,” wins for a second time.

Paula wins her second Challenge and her second straight Rivals.

Emily, after several previous attempts and third place finishes, wins her first Challenge.

Shout out to all of you.

A few lingering thoughts and quotations from the final episode:

Johnny and Frank both acknowledged that they walked away as good friends. Cooke and Cara are “grateful” for even making it to the finals and know how unlikely they were to have made it this far (do we even remember Naomi’s brief appearance on the show?). Both second place teams walked away with tremendous dignity and were so gracious in defeat.
When I reflect on the season next week in my forthcoming postseason awards column, I will put CT’s win this season in some kind of historical context. For now, the great Johnny Bananas, in such an eloquent and generous manner, gives respect to his longtime rival (set to a wonderfully produced montage of CT’s career highlights): “You win some and you lose some, but I hate to say it, but I think that the team that deserved to win won today. Rivalry between me and CT aside, the guy’s put in his time. We’ve spilled the same blood in the same mud. It’s only appropriate for him to at some point get a win.”
I gained so much respect for Wes this season for many reasons, but above all else, he was a phenomenal partner to CT. He created a perfect balance, performed when it mattered, and never strayed from the task at hand of winning money at the end. Congratulation to you. Count me as one of the impressed.
You have to appreciate the simplicity of CT’s take: “I did it. I finally won The Challenge. It took me ten years, but me and Wes, we made it. It is fair to say that me and Wes are no longer rivals.”
A tearful Paula: “I am always at, as I don’t know, not that good at shit. I’m not good at Challenges. I’m not good at elimination rounds, but I never wanted to let Emily down, so I did the best that I could, and I just hope that I made her proud to have me as a partner.” Hey Paula, mission accomplished. You rock.
Emily, third place will not be your destiny.
As TJ stated, these were the “two best teams all season” and they deserved to win. Sometimes it is comforting to have the resolution make so much sense. It was their time.

The Challenge: Rivals 2 Live Reunion Special was live TV at it’s absolute best (and I am not even referring to Preston’s Amish hat) and absolute worst (violence is really scary and the choice of Jonny Moseley as the host is almost equally scary). There were some clear lessons learned throughout. Here are the most important takeaways in chronological order:

The hot seat was a fail. Throughout the show, Jonny would have more intimate conversations on the “hot seat,” a faux-leather coach off to the side with a few competitors. The groupings rarely made sense (CT/Wes and Jemmye/Camila, Frank, Knight, Emily, and Cara), the topics almost immediately went back to the big group (so why even be there in the first place), and there was violence (more on this shortly).

When Knight refers to Preston as “Mr. Rodgers” in what appears to be a state of some kind of “under the influence,” he probably is and has no idea what he is saying.

When you appear on live TV, you want your makeup to be more subtle, Marlon.

Knight is unsafe, belligerent, dangerous, and an embarrassment. While discussing some steamy twitter conversations (another hot seat fail), Frank and Knight trade barbs. Frank is calm, cool, and articulate, but still backs some verbal bite. Knight returns the favor (not as articulately) a few times. He then stands up, mentions some unrest about some of the things that Frank said about Jemmye, and then, out of what felt like complete nowhere, punches Frank in the face. Here is the video:

Knight punches Frank

It was a shocking and disturbing display of unprovoked violence. The air was completely taken out of the room. Thankfully, Wes and Emily, aided by the studio security staff, restrain Knight and remove him from the stage and the proceedings. All Jonny can say (and this really happened) is, “Anyone else have anything to say to Frank?” Tough moment, Jonny, but really, tough moment Knight. Admittedly, from the edit these past two seasons, I have not been Knight’s biggest supporter. I find his humor tasteless and his attitude leaves something to be desired, but I often enjoyed his presence on Real World: New Orleans and have been open to the possibility of a tough edit. This violent incident was on unedited live TV and, despite how you might feel about Frank, showed the act of a person who is really struggling with decision quality. I hope he finds help and fast. This was an embarrassment.

Frank IS the bigger man and from all accounts in real life, a great person. Frank is great at being a divisive, yet essential polarizing figure on The Challenge, but especially now having seen his reaction to Knight’s attack, he is a man of integrity. To answer your question Mr. Moseley, “Frank – Your handling of the situation was so impressive. I applaud you for your courage and fortitude.” His sincerity and general remorse in his apology to Jemmye was equally heartwarming.

In case it was at all fuzzy before, Emily’s reaction to Knight (“Get the fuck off the stage!”) says everything about her. She is a gem.

Johnny Bananas and CT are both really kind and sensitive human beings. After coming back from a commercial break following Knight’s violence, production carried on with their segment order (a big mistake) and decided to grill Diem about her recent episode “craziness.” Even though we know that Diem was on many post-chemo hormones and medications during the filming of Rivals 2, Diem was disrespectfully asked to defend her unevenness in Thailand. She understandably broke down talking about it. First, Bananas stepped to the plate to set the record straight: “What people don’t see when they watch this show and what the audience doesn’t understand is that we are subjected to an incredible amount of mental and emotional distress. So coming on and being at the top of your game – it’s difficult enough. Coming on in the position that she was in – I mean she just went through chemotherapy before she came on the show – she was being injected with all this stuff. I mean, I’m a guy, and my emotions are all over the place, and I can’t imagine what it was like, so, if anyone needs to be given a get out of jail free card or a free pass, it is Diem in this situation.” CT was next: “It is easy to take a highlight reel of someone’s worst moments and turn them into something they are not, and she didn’t deserve that.” Thank you, gentlemen.

On a similar note, Aneesa and Paula are wonderful friends and wonderful people. But we kind of already knew that.

Jonny Moseley should not be hosting a live event. Yes, Knight’s violent stage eruption is a worst-case scenario and would rattle even a seasoned interviewer veteran, but his inability to audible away from exhausted topics or to understand that what was on his cue card didn’t have to come next doomed Moseley’s performance (where was Maria Menunous?). When CT and Diem had a go on the hot seat to discuss their “relationship” things got very uncomfortable. CT kept telling Jonny to “mind ya business,” but Jonny kept probing further. At a certain point, CT had had enough and turned it back on Moseley:

CT: “I was playing a game. This ain’t real life. Make up your mind. Are we trying to play the game or are we trying to be real life. Are you trying to make me be a bad person?

Moseley: “No.”

CT: “No, then where are you going with it, bro? Who’s in the hot seat now? What’s up?

Then Moseley, instead of moving away from the topic, continued to harp on it. CT was not done, referring to Jonny Moseley as “son.”

CT: “Nah, that’s why we don’t let you know anything about us. You twist and turn it into something that it’s not. What’s up now? We’re live. There’s nothing you can do about it…no, I know what you are trying to do, bro and I don’t even care. Read and let us talk.”

It was excruciating to watch CT trample over Jonny Moseley’s inexperience. Was TJ Lavin available?

The live reunion is a win. Although some of the worst-case live reunion tropes clouded this event (violence, unintentionally comedic discomfort), it felt much more informative than the strangely edited reunion shows of yesteryear that always gave too little of what you wanted and too much of what you didn’t.

After all that happened last night, let us all catch our breath. Stay tuned for my final column of the season next week featuring post-season awards and the final power rankings. Until…

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about MTV’s “The Challenge,” pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company.

"The Challenge", Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Weekly Power Rankings – Week 8

September 3, 2013 David Bloom Leave a comment

Not to destroy the obvious mystique that must consume the thoughts of my readers about the intricate processes and rituals that go into my weekly power rankings determination, I literally open up the notes app on my iPhone (often on the way to work) on the weekend after the weekly Rivals 2 airing and change the order of some names. Yes, I would love the deliberation to be more of a series of calculations based upon statistical analysis, but often the most reliable source is something called my “gut.” This week’s power rankings determination deliberation had the honor and the privilege of not only being a collaborative mission, but the collaborator was as close to a real insider and Challenge commentator as exists. Miss Roxy Striar, the beautiful and insightful Afterbuzz TV co-host (also, in full disclosure, a most loyal friend of yours truly), lent her unique, passionate, and credible opinions to help determine this week’s rankings. There were some lines I would not cross (until they lose in the finals, it is hard to see a reason that Johnny Bananas and Paula could lose their top spots in their respective gender rankings), but Roxy’s influence was most felt on these proceedings.

Without further procrastination…Here are the individual and team rankings after week 8 (down to the final 8 for each gender)…

RIVALS 2 INDIVIDUAL POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will again be based on my un Zach Lowe-like analysis/sabermetrics method known as “My subjective experience and observations watching all 24 seasons of the show.” Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, on strategy and in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Johnny Bananas (9th season, last week: 1)

CHALLENGE WINS: 2

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Cooke/Cara Maria)

VOTES FOR: Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria, Nany and Jonna

2. CT (9th season, last week: 2)

CHALLENGE WINS: 2 (although one was handed to them)

VOTES FOR: Sarah and Trishelle, Cooke and Cara Maria, Theresa and Jasmine, Nany and Jonna

3. Jordan (Rookie season, last week: 3)

CHALLENGE WINS: 1

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Cooke/Naomi/Cara Maria), 1 (Jasmine/Theresa), 1 (Nany/Jonna), 1 (Jemmye/Camila), 1 (Paula/Emily), 1 (Diem/Aneesa)

VOTES FOR: Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria, Theresa and Jasmine, Emily and Paula

JUNGLE: Beat Leroy and Ty in Week 7

4. Frank (2nd season, last week: 4)

CHALLENGE WINS: 2

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Cooke/Cara Maria)

VOTES FOR: Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria, Nany and Jonna

5. Wes (8th season, last week: 5)

CHALLENGE WINS: 2 (although one was handed to them)

VOTES FOR: Sarah and Trishelle, Cooke and Cara Maria, Theresa and Jasmine, Nany and Jonna

6. Marlon (Rookie season, last week: 6)

CHALLENGE WINS: 1

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Cooke/Naomi/Cara Maria), 1 (Jasmine/Theresa), 2 (Nany/Jonna), 2 (Jemmye/Camila), 1 (Diem/Aneesa), 1 (Paula/Emily)

VOTES FOR: Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria, Theresa and Jasmine, Emily and Paula

JUNGLE: Beat Leroy and Ty in Week 7

7. Knight (2nd season, last week: 7)

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Nany/Jonna), 1 (Paula/Emily), 1 (Cooke/Cara Maria)

VOTES FOR: Sarah and Trishelle, Cooke and Cara Maria, Jonna and Nany, Jonna and Nany

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 3 (DQ)

JUNGLE: Beat Derek and Robb Week 3

8. Preston (2nd season, last week: 8)

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Nany/Jonna), 1 (Paula/Emily), 1 (Cooke/Cara Maria)

VOTES FOR: Sarah and Trishelle, Cooke and Cara Maria, Jonna and Nany, Jonna and Nany

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 3 (DQ)

JUNGLE: Beat Derek and Robb Week 3

Although our final decision meant no changes this week for the men, Roxy and I really struggled to determine the order. Knight and Preston, almost assuredly going home this week, are locks for spots 7 and 8 (although one could argue the Leroy eliminated should be ranked ahead of either of these NOLA roommates). After Marlon gassed out and eventually stepped down from completing this week’s swim-off challenge, he was appropriately placed last week at no. 6. The top five spots, when considering who has the most power, could go one of 120 ways (this is the actual number of permutations and a somewhat appropriate exaggeration). Johnny struggled the most on his swim, but as the teams are currently constituted, it is hard to see any scenario (besides losing the challenge) where Johnny gets voted in the final Jungle (this is power!). Without Johnny as a teammate, would Frank be in the same position? Probably not (there is no love loss between Frank and Jemmye and Camila), even though his swimming performance may have been the most impressive among the guys Wes and CT have been gelling beautifully (and just at the right time), but I still think they are one step behind Johnny and Frank (a small step albeit) in the voting minds of the women teams that determine their fate. Jordan, a leading candidate for the most feared individual athlete not named Emily left in this game, is facing a next challenge where, because of Marlon’s forced DQ, may have to face a potentially damaging penalty. If my Zapruder Analysis a few weeks ago was indeed accurate, the conversation will soon shift in the rankings from the power needed to reach the finals to who has the best chance to win the finals. The three team candidates could be as evenly matched as any final group in The Challenge history. We just have to get through the ceremonial elimination of Knight and Preston first.

ELIMINATED

9. Leroy (3rd season, last week: 7)

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Theresa/Jasmine), 1 (Nany/Jonna), 1 (Diem/Aneesa)

VOTES FOR: Theresa and Jasmine, Nany and Jonna, Aneesa and Diem

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 7

JUNGLE: Beat Zach and Trey (DQ) in Week 5, Lost to Jordan and Marlon in Week 7

10. Ty (4th season, last week: 8)

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Theresa/Jasmine), 1 (Nany/Jonna), 1 (Diem/Aneesa)

VOTES FOR: Theresa and Jasmine, Nany and Jonna, Aneesa and Diem

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 7

JUNGLE: Beat Zach and Trey (DQ) in Week 5, Lost to Jordan and Marlon in Week 7

11. Trey (2nd season, last week: 11)

12. Zach (2nd season, last week: 12)

CHALLENGE WINS: 2

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 5

VOTES FOR: Cooke and Cara Maria, Cooke and Cara Maria

JUNGLE: DQ against Leroy and Ty

13. Derek (3rd season, last week: 13)

14. Robb (2nd season, last week: 14)

VOTES AGAINST: 8 (Emily/Paula [2], Ana/Jess, Camila/Jemmye [2], Sarah/Trishelle, Diem/Aneesa [2])

VOTES FOR: Sarah and Trishelle

JUNGLE: Beat Tyrie and Dunbar Week 1, Lost to Knight and Preston Week 3

15. Dunbar (6 season, last week: 15)

16. Tyrie (6th season, last week: 16)

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 1

JUNGLE: Lost to Derek and Robb Week 1

THE WOMEN

1. Paula (10th season, last week: 1)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb, Derek and Robb, Knight and Preston, Jordan and Marlon

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Jordan/Marlon)

CHALLENGE WINS: 5

2. Emily (3rd season, last week: 2)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb, Derek and Robb, Knight and Preston, Jordan and Marlon

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Jordan/Marlon)

CHALLENGE WINS: 5

3. Diem (7th season, last week: 4)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb, Derek and Robb, Leroy and Ty, Jordan and Marlon

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Leroy/Ty)

CHALLENGE WINS: 1

4. Cooke (Rookie season, last week: 7)

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Zach/Trey), 3 (Johnny/Frank), 2 (Knight/Preston), 2 (Jordan/Marlon), 1 (CT/Wes)

VOTED FOR: Marlon and Jordan, Marlon and Jordan, Johnny and Frank, Knight and Preston

JUNGLE: Beat Jessica and Anastasia Week 2, Beat Nany and Jonna in Week 8

5. Jemmye (2nd season, last week: 5)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb, Derek and Robb, Jordan and Marlon, Jordan and Marlon

CHALLENGE WINS: 1

JUNGLE: Beat Theresa and Jasmine in Week 6

6. Aneesa (9th season, last week: 3)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb, Derek and Robb, Leroy and Ty

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Leroy/Ty)

CHALLENGE WINS: 1

7. Camila (5th season, last week: 6)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb, Derek and Robb, Jordan and Marlon, Jordan and Marlon

CHALLENGE WINS: 1

JUNGLE: Beat Theresa and Jasmine in Week 6

8. Cara Maria (6th season, last week: 8)

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Zach/Trey), 3 (Johnny/Frank), 2 (Knight/Preston), 2 (Jordan/Marlon), 1 (CT/Wes)

VOTED FOR: Marlon and Jordan, Marlon and Jordan, Johnny and Frank, Knight and Preston

JUNGLE: Beat Jessica and Anastasia Week 2, Beat Nany and Jonna in Week 8

Roxy’s keen insight challenged some of my previous held beliefs and thus was a serious determinant in some major changes in the women bracket this week. With Paula’s outstanding swimming performance, Emily’s previous track record, and Cara Maria’s panic attack and hot mess of a performance in the challenge (the reason she and Cooke had to fight for their lives in the Jungle), numbers 1, 2, and 8 remained the same this week, but other changes had to be made. Yes, Camila should be commended for winning the challenge (and highlighting her competitor skill set, particularly on the open ocean), but her early episode sanity explosion of an extracurricular nighttime activity could not be left without a dip in the rankings. The possibility of a repeat performance of such a fiasco while participating in a final remains a real possibility. Jemmye’s role in the whole fiasco did not do her any favors, but Cooke’s ability to excel and overcome her teammate’s contender for season’s worst performance in a challenge not by Tyrie or Preston was the determining factor for Jemmye remaining at no. 5 and Cooke rising three spots. No one wants to face Cooke in a finals in the same way that no one wants to face Emily in a finals. Now that she has made it this far, her long rise to the top few spots in the rankings has finally reached a deserved high point. Through some of Roxy’s impressions, I was swayed to move Aneesa down a few spots and to move Diem up to no. 3. Roxy argued that Diem is really calling the strategic shots (whether Aneesa likes it or not) and is carrying Aneesa in challenges. If my prediction of a week 10 elimination is proved to be true, it will be Aneesa’s performance that leads them out of one of three finals spots.

UNFAIRLY SENT HOME

9. Sarah (7th season, last week: 13)

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Derek/Robb, CT/Wes)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb

FACT: Sarah continues to climb in the power rankings and has not been on the show in over a month.

ELIMINATED

10. Nany (2nd season, last week: 7)

11. Jonna (3rd season, last week: 8)

VOTED FOR: Knight and Preston, Marlon and Jordan, Leroy and Ty, Jordan and Marlon

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Leroy/Ty), 2 (Knight/Preston), 1 (Johnny/Frank), 1 (CT/Wes)

JUNGLE: Lost to Cooke and Cara Maria in Week 8

12. Jasmine (4th season, last week: 7)

13. Theresa (4th season, last week: 8)

CHALLENGE WINS: 1 (although it was handed to them)

VOTES AGAINST: 1 (Leroy/Ty), 1 (Jordan/Marlon), 1 (CT/Wes)

VOTED FOR: Marlon and Jordan, Leroy and Ty, Leroy and Ty

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 4 DQ

JUNGLE: Lost to Jemmye and Camila in Week 6

14. Jessica (Rookie season, last week: 14)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 2

JUNGLE: Lost to Cooke and Cara Maria Week 2

LEFT THE SHOW

15. Naomi (2nd season, last week: 15)

ELIMINATED

16. Anastasia (Rookie season, last week: 16)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb

CHALLENGE LOSS: Week 2

JUNGLE: Lost to Cooke and Cara Maria Week 2

QUIT

17. Trishelle (4th season, last week: 17)

VOTES AGAINST: 2 (Derek/Robb, CT/Wes)

VOTED FOR: Derek and Robb

RIVALS 2 TEAM RANKINGS

Note: Team rankings are compiled by averaging the two individual rankings. Teams with the lowest total average rankings are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible). First tiebreaker goes to number of total past wins. Second tiebreaker goes to years of experience.

1. Paula and Emily – Team Average: 1.5, last week: 1.5

2. Johnny and Frank – Team Average: 2.5, last week: 2.5

3. CT and Wes – Team Average: 3.5, last week: 3.5

4. Marlon and Jordan – Team Average: 4.5, last week: 4.5

5. Diem and Aneesa – Team Average: 4.5, last week: 3.5

6. Camila and Jemmye – Team Average: 6, last week: 5.5

7. Cooke and Cara Maria – Team Average: 6, last week: 7.5

8. Knight and Preston – Team Average: 7.5, last week: 7.5

NO LONGER WITH US…

9. ELIMINATED: Ty and Leroy – Team Average: 9.5, last week: 7.5

10. ELIMINATED: Nany and Jonna – Team Average: 10.5, last week: 9.5

11. ELIMINATED: Zach and Trey – Team Average: 11.5, last week: 7.5

12. ELIMINATED: Sarah and Trishelle – Team Average: 13, last week: 15

13. ELIMINATED: Jasmine and Theresa – Team Average: 12.5, last week: 7.5

14. ELIMINATED: Derek and Robb – Team Average: 13.5, last week: 12.5

15. ELIMINATED: Anastasia and Jessica – Team Average: 15, last week: 14.5

16. ELIMINATED: Dunbar and Tyrie – Team Average: 15.5

LEFT THE SHOW: Naomi

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about MTV’s “The Challenge,” pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company. His “The Challenge: Rivals 2″ power rankings will post weekly starting on July 10.

"The Challenge", Television

An In-Season RIVALS 2 Retro Running Diary

August 22, 2013 David Bloom 1 Comment

A vintage Johnny Bananas performance, an excruciatingly enjoyable challenge, stellar sound bytes, a fair share of extracurricular nighttime activity, a hall of fame outing for the great TJ Lavin, and the most dramatic Jungle elimination of the year all mixed together make for the best episode of this season of The Challenge: Rivals 2. The best episode calls for only one thing: an in-season retro running diary. Usually saved for premieres and finales, this episode was just that good. Without further adieu, let’s go back to 10:00 PM EST this evening where it all began…

10:01 – This season’s opening credits are kind of lame. Albeit, nothing will ever compare to the unintentional comedy fest that were the opening credits to the Duel II. Highlights include:

Davis struggling to find the right facial expression during his intro. First he smiles, then realizes that is not the direction they are going for (this is serious business), and then tries to save it with his best intimidating scowl face. You can imagine that by the thirtieth take this was the best they were going to get from Davis.
The spelling of Brittini’s name and how easily she is to forget.
The moment Evan starts to yell the war chants. His commitment is a work of Canadian art.
Isaac’s chanting section brings another level of joy because unlike everyone else on this cast, you could actually picture him expressing himself through such nonsensical gibberish in real life. “C’mon, guys. Let me show you how it is done.”
Big Easy’s “Night at the Roxbury” head bobbing during his lead chant turn. This could be Big Easy’s best moment he has ever had on The Challenge.
Kim is just so over it.
Adam unleashes the tongue as an act of intimidation. CT was not swayed.
TJ Lavin in the foreground overlooking this unnatural performance like an artiste taking in his masterpiece.

10:02 – Diem calls Aneesa the “Queen of Excuses.” Does this make Knight the “Jester of Bodyguards?”

10:02 – Aneesa: “If I could change 1 to 5 things about Diem, it would kind of be that you would get off my back.” Diem wants to put Aneesa through some insanity partner workouts in preparation for the Finals. Frank tells Aneesa to embrace the cards that she has been dealt and “deal with it.” Aneesa looks at Frank like he is the silliest of lads. This is kind of awesome.

10:04 – Paula says that “Aneesa and Diem are partners whether they like it or not and they do not.” This all reminds me of the Shakespearean comedy, Much Ado About Nothing.

10:04 – TJ describes the premise of the “Blind Leading the Blind” challenge, but unfortunately no one is listening because we are all distracted by Phukie (as in Phuket), the little furry white dog that TJ has brought to The Challenge. Phukie ranks somewhere below the Johnny Bobble-head, but above Daisy and Irene’s Teddy Bear from Real World: Seattle in the rankings of the best non-human participants in Bunim/Murray history.

10:05 – You just couldn’t stay away from shocking the competitors, could you production?

10:06 – Ty speaks alert! “So we already know who is going first…” Six minutes in and we have already heard Ty speak more than in the first three episodes!

10:07 – The first heat in the challenge is CT and Wes for the men and Aneesa and Diem for the women. In the challenge, competitors, blind-folded and attached on one side via arm and leg, must navigate a maze in thirty minutes. This would not seem as daunting a task, but for the fact that each person must wear a dog shocker on one wrist and one ankle that increases voltage and frequency the more you go in the right direction. This is both incredibly sadistic and potentially a lot of fun to watch.

10:07 – Diem: “It feels like someone is caddle prodding you and you are getting electrocuted through your entire body.” What’s the over/under on how many times Cara Maria and Abram have actually attempted this on their ranch in Montana this summer? Eight? Ten?

10:07 – Apparently the VMAs are live in Brooklyn this Sunday. Like my post Challenge viewing nights (4:03 AM as I edit), there is apparently no sleep (‘til Brooklyn).

10:09 – Brooklyn Nine-Nine (premiering on Fox on September 17) looks increasingly promising with each promo. Andy Samberg, although at times a little juvenile in a Adam Sandler circa 1995 kind of way, and the great Andre Braugher butting heads in a squad room? Yes, please.

10:10 – “Wow, I really was pining for a continuation of the Riddick series on film!” – says nobody

10:11 – Meanwhile, back at the challenge, let the uncomfortable squeamish laughter commence! Every time a competitor is shocked and omits a cry of pain, you chuckle a little on the inside, catch yourself, and then chuckle a little on the outside, before catching yourself and realizing that you are taking too much joy at the expense of another’s pain (but it really is kind of funny to watch…)

10:12 – Wes takes over full control of the challenge from CT and has a healthy dose of humility about it: “As soon as I take over, everything starts going extremely smoothly. He might have more brawn than me. He might be bigger. He might be scarier, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s my dog on a leash. I am the greatest human being that has ever lived.” Ok, I made up the last part.

10:12 – The Wes and CT bromance continues after they finish. There are some pats on the back, some faux-hugs, and some declarations of mutual pride. Somewhere at home, Kenny is yelling at the TV, “You can have him!”

10:13 – Cara Maria: “Blind folds and electric shocks – it’s nothing really new to me, so I should be ok.” Neighbors of Abram and Cara Maria watching at home in Montana nod approvingly.

10:14 – So, this is not the kind of pain that Cara Maria enjoys. Cooke tries to take a moment to listen to the ocean. Cara Maria, as if overtaken with a mild (if clichéd) bout of Tourette Syndrome, unleashes a “fuck” for every shock.

10:15 – Jordan is, according to Johnny, doing some “geometry in there” and saying things like “wait a minute – this is a forty-five degree angle.” Jordan uses Johnny’s voice to determine where the finish is not located. It’s all just a little hilarious to watch.

10:16 – Cooke has a post-mortem “don’t do that ever again talk” with Cara Maria that sounds like vintage Laurel/Cara Maria circa early in the first Rivals season. Comparing Cooke to Laurel is the highest of praise.

10:17 – Ty speaks alert! This time he leads Leroy to the beginning of the maze (Aneesa: “Talk about the blind leading the blind”). Meanwhile, Paula and Emily are killing it as usual. Paula takes the reigns on this one as Emily squeaks her way through the pain.

10:20 – Katy Perry is performing live in 4 days at the VMA awards in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Lady Gaga is taking her clothes off in the strangest of ways every day in off-putting Kickstarter campaigns and V Magazine photo shoots. So there’s that.

10:21 – When Paula and Emily finish the maze, Paula declares that she is going to “make a phone call to PETA as soon as [she] gets back in America and ban those.” I will gladly sign your petition, Paula.

10:22 – When they finally finish, Leroy tells Ty that he “killed it,” but production always seems to depict Ty doing the opposite. Who am I to trust?

10:23 – Frank and Johnny actually kill it. Johnny’s post maze take, as Challenge eloquent as ever: “They say the key to every successful relationship is communication and me and my main man, Franklin over here (patting his partner’s chest), I think we communicated well. Pain is your key to victory, and hopefully our time is going to hold up.” This is just vintage, 1998 MJ mode for Bananas. There will be more of this to come later in the episode.

10:24 – Frank compares Nany and Jonna’s performance to “like watching two five-year-olds trying to go through a haunted house.” My addendum on this is that the five-year-olds in Frank’s metaphor actually walked through the haunted house. Nany and Jonna sort of took two steps into the maze before creating a ball of fear and frustration for the next thirty minutes.

10:24 – Classic TJ: “You don’t know what to do – just move towards the shock.” Can we get this man some kind of lifetime achievement award at this point?

10:27 – Camila (Preston: “Camila was the savior today”) literally dragged Team New Orleans through the maze. This begs the question, does Camila have strange powers over the Real World: New Orleans cast? Should Sahar be calling her up for musical advice? Would she be able to magically make Ryan into a more tolerable person? Also, how was Camila able to sustain the shock without the appearance of pain? What Brazilian super powers does she possess?

10:28 – Aneesa and Diem are the women winners (thank you Wes!). Diem does a very cool dance to celebrate. TJ asks her, despite the heat, to do the dance again because it was just that good. It is in these little moments where The Challenge greatness can be found. TJ Lavin – the myth and legend is a man among men.

10:28 – TJ announces Johnny and Frank as the winners (and safe from elimination) and either Ty and Leroy or Jordan and Marlon as the losers, but not before getting another dig at Jonna and Nany’s embarrassing performance. I have to give credit to Jonna and Nany who seem to have a good sense of humor about it all.

10:29 – I RSVPed to The Great Gatsby Blue-Ray event of the year that I could not attend because I have better things to spend two hours of my time on (although it was at times visually stunning).

10:31 – Ty and Leroy are crowned the losers and Jungle elimination bait. Ty is uncharacteristically silent.

10:32 – There is a Johnny and Frank strategic session with some of the women teams about who should be sent in the Jungle. Johnny and Frank are pulling for Jordan and Marlon “whose time has come,” but really Johnny is hoping that the layup of Knight and Preston sneaks around long enough to be in the Finals and become an immediate team that Johnny and Frank will beat. Jordan listens intently from the other room. Not to overstate my Confessioner gimmick, but wouldn’t the Confessioner have told the strategy party to wait to have this conversation when Jordan is in the shower, on a run, or at least out of earshot?

10:33 – “So how’s the campaign coming?” With these four words and a conjunction, Jordan begins his Frank provocation, and it was just that easy.

10:34 – Frank’s outburst begins (Emily and Diem are the primary listeners at this point) while Aneesa comically sprints by. See Diem! Aneesa is exercising, but just on her own time!

10:34 – Emily gets the ultimate credit in the world for putting Jordan in his place and guiding him away from behaviors that will wake the Frank sleeping bear that has been dreaming happy thoughts while in hibernation since the CT blow-out earlier in the season. Her attempts, although valiant, only do so much good when Frank…

10:35 – …absolutely loses it.

10:37 – Following a much needed commercial break, all is calm again at the voting proceedings. Johnny provides an impromptu (but so appreciated) speech in which he can’t stop gushing about his excellent, but volatile partner: “I gotta give all the credit to my partner, Frank here. Without him, I could not have done today’s challenge. He’s got a higher threshold for pain apparently, so thank you sir.”

10:38 – Knight is not optimistic about his chances of avoiding a Jungle trip: “My team is an easy target for the Jungle because everybody knows that Preston can’t do anything.”

10:39 – TJ thanks Marlon for his lipstick to face vote tallies. He then calls Camila, “Mila.” Can this man be any more exceptional?

10:39 – The vote is overwhelming. Four teams vote for Jordan and Marlon (Nany and Jonna hold out and vote for Preston and Knight). Paula’s rationalization: “I need Johnny to make my game as easy as possible, so I have to vote the way he wants me to.” We are now 399 minutes into this season and this is really the first time we have heard Paula or Johnny speak about their unwavering alliance. The time had come.

10:39 – Leroy brings some levity to the moment: “I would like to wish the rookies the best of luck in the Jungle, but I really hope that you LOSE!” Ty remains silent.

10:40 – Some conversations are just this good…

Camila, fighting through intoxication and speaking with her unbreakable loyalty to Johnny in mind: “You’re a rookie. You’re going in. You have to prove yourself!”

Jordan, shirtless: “Then riddle me why…”

Camila, interrupting him: “–Listen to me.”

Jordan, incredibly rational: “…Johnny and Frank win, and they had to go campaign.”

Camila: “They weren’t necessarily campaigning. They’re our friends.”

Jordan: “But until Johnny and Frank went in there and said, ‘Look – this needs to happen. They’re rookies. They need to go in.’ And that’s what you just said, you’re rookies, you need to go in, so the vote was changed because someone wanted it to be changed that was not a girl.”

Wait, did Jordan just say, “riddle me why?”

10:41 – Frank overhears all and volunteers to be a fact checker (again, where is the Confessioner?). This lasts for all of three seconds before Frank settles into full-fledged nighttime extracurricular activity mode and unleashes his verbal spite on the Real World: Portland veteran (and a resident fact checker, according to Marlon in the challenge last week, of his own).

10:41 – Johnny Bananas, can you please bring some calm and clarity to this situation? Johnny Bananas, in classic form, has a little something to say to Jordan to deescalate the situation while still supporting Frank. Pay close attention – this is the stuff that legends are made of: “You don’t understand. The way that the guys are looking at this is that there is a team that obviously everybody wants here for a final.”

Right. Go on…

“So the way this game’s played – you leave the easiest team here. That way, if you have to go in, you’re hedging your bets, ok? You guys are a great team, ok? You’ve proved it time and time again, but your time’s up, dude. It’s your time to go in and it’s your time to fucking earn your stripes, dude. I don’t blame you. This is a fucking dirty game, bro, but I’ve always said is that all is fair in love, war, and challenges.”

There are so many important takeaways here: Jordan shows incredible restraint during Frank’s outburst. Frank, although unleashed, manages to find an inner peace much faster than imaginable. Paula and Emily are keeping Camila’s point of no return somewhat checked in the background of the shot. But this moment is really about Johnny Bananas, the Michael Jordan of The Challenge. This is the same Johnny Bananas who was the first person eliminated on his first The Challenge season of The Duel (like when Jordan was cut from his Varsity basketball team) so many years ago. This is the same Johnny Bananas who couldn’t get over the hump on Inferno 3 or The Gauntlet 3 (Jordan’s repeated attempts to pass the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals). This is the Johnny Bananas who put it all together when he was able to learn how to rely on his teammates on The Island (the 1991 Championship) and again on Ruins (the 1992-1993 Championships). Then came the trials of Cuthroat, the nadir being CT’s elimination demolition (the baseball career, the 1995 playoffs). A Rivals win brought some redemption with long-time competitor, Tyler (the 1996 Championship). Battle of the Exes was not as easy as the one before, but that much sweeter when Johnny and Camila reached the top of that Icelandic mountain peak (the 1997 Championship). If Rivals II is the 1998 season, then you know where Jordan’s career goes next. Let us hope the Jazz series is stretched out for as long as possible, but if Rivals II is meant to be his last stand on The Challenge, what a ride it will have been. Tonight The Challenge legend of Johnny Bananas is just doing his thing.

10:47 – Let’s get to the Jungle (Take it away. Johnny: “We’ve got ourselves a good, old-fashioned head banger!”) and skip over the weird commercial break segment about Ty and Aneesa hooking up. We will just pretend this didn’t happen.

10:48 – “Leroy, do you think Ty has got this?” Even TJ acknowledges Ty’s silence. By the way, why has Ty been silent this season? Was he coached?

10:48 – The event is “Last Chance,” a retread of the first Jungle elimination from Week 1 between Tyrie and Dunbar and Robb and Derek. The memories of this first elimination faded that night, so fresh does this feel!

10:49 – Jordan and Marlon are talking about the “Oklahoma drill” that they worked in football practice every day. Maybe Ty is silent out of fear for these two athletic beasts?

10:49 – Leroy is going to “play defense and nobody is getting by without getting touched.” Ty is, as is custom, silent.

10:49 – Round 1 features an initial collision followed by what looks to be a tie for both teams to the bell ringing on either side of the course. The crowd, like Ty, is silent waiting for the instant replay.

10:50 – The replay shows that Marlon and Jordan won the first round by the smallest fraction of a second. Ty remains silent.

10:50 – Round 2 goes to Leroy and Ty after Ty shoots out of the gate like a train. This elimination is as physical and evenly matched as I have ever seen. I am not sure there has ever been a Challenge elimination as much cumulative talent participation.

10:51 – Round 3, the deciding round, appears to be leaning in Ty and Leroy’s favor, but a Seacrestian commercial break (and the habitual longest one of an episode) prolongs the suspense. Was my Zapruder Analysis wrong and could Marlon and Jordan lose this thing?

10:56 – There was no way. Jordan’s dive for the bell (as teased in the “Still to come this season on Rivals 2” trailer from last week) was in fact the moment of victory. The most impressive rookie campaign in Challenge history just got even more prolific.

10:57 – Ty speaks alert! – “I wouldn’t rather have any other game and to have lost to them in something I think we should have beat them in, I just don’t even really know what to say right now.” No really, was Ty advised not to speak all season? He is a really articulate guy who has gone a little overboard at times emotionally, but all kidding aside, something has seemed a little off this season for Ty in his mostly limited screen time.

10:58 – Awwwwwwwww. Ty and Leroy’s exit interviews were both really sweet. Despite the sounds of silence this season for Ty, these are two genuinely good dudes who will be missed.

10:59 – Jordan: “I am really over all the politicking, so we’re just going to win it.” This is why Jordan is a legitimate season MVP candidate.

10:59 – Frank’s ready to let his “beast out of his cage” and Johnny is concerned that if Frank starts “punching holes in their ship” that Johnny will “be sinking right along with you.” If there were any doubts before, The Challenge is on.

Until we meet again for the power rankings later in the week and prepare for Camila’s teased extracurricular nighttime activity…

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THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Midseason Report

August 15, 2013 David Bloom 3 Comments

TJ: “Alright everybody, we are halfway home.”

With TJ’s declarative words after the Theresa and Jasmine Jungle elimination (by the way, apparently it wasn’t even close – Jemmye and Camila won in a landslide, but the edit did not afford them the time), we have reached the midseason of this fifth major professional sport. Like in the NFL, an All-Star game would be premature at this point (notice how I did not say, “Like in the NFL, an all-star game would be unnecessary”), so a check-in on preseason predictions and the dolling out of midseason awards seems to be an appropriate direction for this week’s column. Thus far, it has been a season of production mishaps and missteps, unexpected turns, game conceit questions, CT early night drama, and an education in obscure phobias. This week’s return to a good old-fashioned elimination without fear of a “game twist” or a rule violation set the tone for what is to come (a revealing “still to come on Rivals 2” gave some great pieces of intel – more on this in a bit) and Phuket is certainly heating up (the poor competitors did not know it could get any hotter than it already was!).

MIDSEASON AWARDS:

MVP

Preseason Prediction – Men: Johnny Bananas (runner up: Leroy); Women: Emily (runner up: Sarah)

Midseason Award – Men: Johnny Bananas (runner up: CT); Women: Emily and Paula (tie)

Unlike the undeserved Karl Malone MVP of 1996-1997, I am not going to refrain from giving Johnny this distinction just because he has won before and another competitor deserves a turn. Johnny, despite a smaller foothold at the top than in previous seasons, is still running the show, has managed to make his Bobblehead a key contributor to production interviews, and has been able to work beautifully next to Frank. CT deserves some attention for the award because, after some early season extracurricular nighttime activity, he has mellowed out and found an almost humorous Zen with Wes while managing to position himself away from viable threats on the women side. Both CT and Johnny appear to be out of the Jungle as long as they don’t lose the challenge (i.e. their placement on the voting totem pole will keep them out). Emily and Paula, now winners of four of five challenges (the one they lost was gifted to the now departed Jasmine and Theresa), have shown no signs of letting up. As the preview of the rest of the season seems to show, it is hard to conceive a scenario where they are not in the finals.

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER

Preseason Prediction – Men: Trey; Women: Jemmye

Midseason Award – Men: Frank; Women: Aneesa

Trey had a great run and, until his elimination last week, was definitely a contender for this award, but, after several weeks second in the power rankings and several weeks free of any unnecessary extracurricular nighttime activity, Frank has become the competitor in this game that he always had the potential to become. Last season’s at times hot mess en route to an eventual win was too sloppy and dirty a ride, but this season he has played his cards well, demonstrating incredible humor, emotional restraint, and unwavering partner support. His potential outbursts could have been the thorn in Johnny’s side, but besides an early blowout with CT (it was inevitable), Frank has been on more than best behavior. His falling out with Zach, often a relationship where both parties could take responsibility for its toxicity, seems to have been entirely one-sided. Frank handled himself with honor and class and wishes his San Diego compadre could have done the same. Aneesa’s central role in the game thus far and her wonderful presence in a house of mostly younger players has been a bit of a revelation and a definite surprise. She is the best physical shape of her long Challenge career, has constant strategic awareness (she was on to how CT/Diem drama had to be extinguished immediately), and seems to have found a enjoyment of the festivities that had not been thought possible. Her “Trashelle” fight will go down as one of the season’s high points (even if the resulting eviction of Sarah low point was the result).

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Preseason Prediction – Marlon

Midseason Award – Jordan

The most surprising aspect of this award looking back at the first half of the season may be that you could make a somewhat legitimate argument for all four Real World: Portland candidates as Rookie of the Year. If drama and violence is your thing (it is not mine), you could argue that Anastasia packed more drama and violence into her two episodes than any other competitor. More up my alley of admiration, Jessica’s Princess Hulk performance in her last challenge and her “knock some sense into her” pep talk will continue to be iconic and lasting moments of this Rivals 2 season. Marlon has at times loudly (his CT fight night one, the Knight fiasco, his stand up to Johnny interruptions this week) and at times smoothly (his hookups with Derek and Nany) stepped up in a way that no other rookie has so successfully done before him, but Jordan’s rookie campaign continues to impress both the viewer and his fellow castmates each time they are exposed to another aspect of his competitor bag of tricks. Season highlights include his closet hookup with Sarah, several impressive athletic feats in challenges (most recently his handling of the beam on last week’s challenge), incredible showings of strength (Zach’s weight lift), and this week’s holding his ground against the onslaught of women persuasion. Although an image from the “later this season on” preview shows a Jungle participation, to have reached this point (and outlasted three other teams) is an accomplishment in itself for Jordan and Marlon.

BOLD PREDICTION CHECK-IN – Here is a look at what I predicted in my preseason power rankings column and the quality of said predictions…

Both Marlon and Jordan and Camila and Jemmye will come very close to making the finals, but fall short.

We haven’t reached this point yet, but it is still very much in play. With either two or three teams in the finals, Marlon and Jordan and Camila and Jemmye are either in or will just miss.

Prediction Quality: Strong

Dunbar and Tyrie will learn each other’s last names, but will not be able to avoid an early elimination.

They were the first two competitors sent home (although I am not sure if they had the opportunity to catch each others last names!).

Prediction Quality: Excellent

There will be a moment in which Johnny, Frank, and Trey strategize together.

After some clear strategic leanings in Battle of the Seasons, I thought we would see more of this from Trey in Rivals 2. I also assumed that the Zach/Frank bond would be more relevant (the flipped gender voting made this point moot) to a power alliance. Conversations like this were not really shown while Trey was in the game.

Prediction Quality: Questionable, although game rule unpredictability played a part

Jasmine will not do too well in terms of competition, but will continue to showcase a more mellow version of herself.

As predicted, Jasmine did not do too well in competition (although she was not asked to really prove herself too much before last week’s eventual elimination), but also as predicted, did continue to grow into a much mellower version of her earlier Challenge self. Her interviews were must watch, her partner relationship was one of the strongest and most loyal on the women side, and she figured out how to use her hair as a intimidation tool.

Prediction Quality: Excellent

Cooke will have a moment on the show that everyone is talking about.

I would consider her peeing while waiting for the Jungle to begin such a moment.

Prediction Quality: Uncanny

CT and Wes will be on the wrong side of the alliance and will have to prove themselves in an elimination early on.

This did not happen both because traditional alliances did not really form and the women teams have yet to come together in any semblance of an organized fashion.

Prediction Quality: Poor

TEAMS IN THE FINALS

Preseason Predictions – Men: Johnny and Frank, Ty and Leroy, Zach and Trey; Women: Paula and Emily, Sarah and Trishelle, Nany and Jonna

Midseason Predictions – Men: Johnny and Frank, Jordan and Marlon, CT and Wes; Women: Paula and Emily, Cooke and Cara Maria, Jemmye and Camila

WINNERS

Preseason Predictions – Men: Johnny and Frank; Women: Sarah and Trishelle

Midseason Predictions – Men: Johnny and Frank; Women: Paula and Emily

A Zapruder Analysis of the “Still to Come on Rivals 2” Preview:

Things I saw (potential spoilers ahead):

Marlon and Jordan “fighting for survival” against Ty and Leroy in the Jungle
CT yelling in Johnny’s face
Johnny and Frank competing in what looks to be the final challenge
Johnny receiving medical attention because he “can’t breath” in what looks to be the final challenge
CT kissing Diem, cuddling with Cooke, and then Johnny telling Diem that “nobody trusts” CT and that “his heart is not in the right place, dude”
A fight between Jemmye and Diem where Jemmye calls Diem a “fake-ass bitch”
Paula tells Camila that “people will not be friends after this”
A fight between Jordan and Frank about who is scared of whom
Knight gets angry at Preston
Jonna and Nany struggle with communication in a challenge
Camila asks Diem if she “really thinks that [she] can’t beat her ass”
Paula and Emily “trying so hard” in what looks to be the final challenge
Leroy tells Jonna that they “don’t have our back, bye”
Jonna “can’t deal with this”
Camila seems to have a massive extracurricular nighttime activity blowup at Johnny (as expected at some point this season)
Cara Maria’s cries and is consoled by Camila
Aneesa and Diem versus Jemmye and Camila in a Jungle
Jordan diving for a win in a Jungle round against Ty and Leroy
A Jonna and Cara Maria sword fight in the Jungle
Someone puts a black bag over Frank’s head
Camila puts her hand in Emily’s face
CT and Wes run threw a puff of smoke on what appears to be the final challenge
As long as CT and We stay “cool, calm, and collected” they are good
Wes and CT don’t take this to heart

Ten teams are left. Four more will be going home. Rivals 2 has only just begun.

"The Challenge", Television

THE CHALLENGE: Rivals 2 – Women’s Suffering

August 8, 2013 David Bloom 4 Comments

Over the past two weeks, The Challenge: Rivals 2 has been mired in questionable production decisions (and I am not even referring to the decision to provide limited AC to the competitors in the most hot and humid of environments. What the Phuket, indeed.) First there was Sarah’s irrational and erroneous all-too-familiar and all-too-soon of a forced goodbye. Then last week, after a creepily over the top fear fest of a Jungle elimination, TJ announced a stay on unnecessary shock therapy and the “nobody is going home this week” twist which just demeans hard fought competition and all the competitors immersed in it. This week’s episode was certainly not devoid of questionable decisions (challenge winners CT and Wes and Theresa and Jasmine didn’t exactly earn their honors after they were given a free walk across the balance beam, pretty much everything that Knight does at this point) and costly mistakes (Zach and Trey lost their Jungle victory when video replay showed a clear rule violation), but at least these blunders were par for the game and not some byproduct of overreaching and failing producers.

Among a substantial handful of lapses in judgement, gameplay gaffes, and strategic miscalculations (I am telling you, the Confessioner was most needed this week), this week’s collective women’s vote really took the aptly named “What the Phuket?” episode title to a whole new and unimaginable level. A full breakdown of the voting proceedings is the only way to do this clinic in logic avoidance and rational thought depravation justice:

Preliminary note: This all started with Knight’s announcement of “The man, the myth, the legend. Often imitated, but never duplicated…TJ Lavin.” Why can’t he have more moments like this and fewer moments like this?

Vote #1: Theresa and Jasmine, the challenge “winners”

Voted for: “Uh, Leroy and Ty.” – Theresa

Percentage illogical: 86%

Pre-Vote Interview Quotation: “I don’t want to tick anyone off, so the best thing for me and Jaz to do, is just throw our vote away.” – Theresa

Post-Vote Interview Quotation: “She says, ‘Leroy and Ty.’ I’m like, ‘What?’ If you throw away a vote on someone, you normally come and tell them before you just say their name out loud.” – Leroy

My take: Let the voting silliness begin! Yes, there have been some random throw away votes in the past (last week, Leroy and Ty voted randomly for Nany and Jonna for example), but Theresa, you never vote for the dude you are currently sharing a bed with if you want to continue (as she does) to share that bed. I know she did not expect what followed to follow, but there is no reason for Theresa to even place herself in the realm of the worst case scenario possibility. This was the most bizarre of first votes and unquestionably set the tone for what was to come. There is a reason you earn the right to vote first by winning the challenge, and the karma effect on the Jasmine and Theresa challenge free pass is at play.

Vote #2: Cooke and Cara Maria

Voted for: “We’re going to give Zach who he wants, uh Johnny and Frank. “ – Cooke

Percentage illogical: 42%

My take: This would have been completely logical (Johnny and Frank have voted against Cooke and Cara Maria in both men votes and are the frontrunners who you want to try to take down), but for Cooke’s assertion that she is going to “give Zach who he wants.” If anything became blatantly apparent this episode, Rivals 2 Zach (yelling at Sam Battle of the Seasons Zach for that matter) does not deserve to get what he wants (as Bunim/Murray camera operators and broken objects in his room can attest).

Vote #3: Camila and Jemmye

Voted for: “We’re going to go with the rookies this time, Jordan and Marlon.” – Camila

Percentage illogical: 37%

My take: After last week’s mortuusequusphobia outbreak, you would think that Jemmye would be ready to cut ties with her former New Orleans cast mate lesser half. The rookie vote is certainly a safe one here (at some point Jordan and Marlon may have to prove themselves in a Jungle) and can be easily rationalized, but after seeing an early split vote, why not get the Knight and Preston goodbye tour on the road?

Vote #4: Nany and Jonna

Voted for: “We’re gonna do Ty and Leroy.” – Nany

Percentage illogical: 98%

Interview rationalization: “We vote for Ty and Leroy because there are two teams after us that are most likely voting for Jordan and Marlon.” – Nany

Leroy’s take: “Nany throws my name out and I am in such shock, like, someone who I have a close bond with, you know, another dagger.”

My take: What were Nany and Jonna thinking? Let’s just presume that Nany is confident, as she stated, that the other two remaining teams will be voting for Jordan and Marlon, why give your vote here to Leroy, a loyal friend from Las Vegas, when you can vote for the first time for Knight and Preston with seemingly no harm done? This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Vote #5: Aneesa and Diem

Voted for: “Um, we are also going to vote for Leroy and Ty.” – Diem, as Aneesa bows and shakes her head in her hands in protest, effectively throwing Leroy and Ty into the Jungle

Percentage illogical: 64%

Wes’ telling take: “You’re fucking awesome.”

Diem’s take: “How would I know the girl that’s sleeping with Leroy would throw in his name first? How would I know that Nany, someone who is like family to Leroy, would be the second team that throws Leroy and Ty’s name in? Why should I correct your mistake?”

CT’s take: “Leroy and his gang of girls are so caught up with burning votes, that they burn themselves. I mean, that’s classic.”

My take: Sure, Diem and Aneesa could have deliberated before the vote and determined that with Leroy and Ty relatively close to several other women teams, it made sense to vote for these guys out of self protection. However, after watching Aneesa’s plea to go a different route at the actual moment of vote, clearly an audible could have been called. No offense, but Diem’s desire to not correct the mistake of other teams makes little to no sense here. You are not responsible for the mistakes of other teams, but just for the mistake of your own. If you did not want Leroy and Ty to go in, vote for someone else and hope that Paula and Emily will go different route too. There was just not a fair amount of strategic thoughtfulness at play.

Vote #6: Paula and Emily

Voted for: “Knight and Preston!” – Paula

Percentage illogical: 0%

My take: As at least Paula and Emily have figured out, Knight and Preston deserved to go into the Jungle. Why one of the other six teams did not go this direction will be one of this season’s lingering mysteries.

Let’s recap: Theresa and Jasmine voted for Leroy and Ty as a complete throw away vote. Cooke and Cara Maria voted for Johnny and Frank to please Zach. Camila and Jemmye voted for Jordan and Marlon because they are rookies. Nany and Jonna voted for Leroy and Ty because there were two other teams left. Diem and Aneesa voted for Leroy and Ty because they should not be reactive to other team’s mistakes. Paula and Emily voted for Knight and Preston because it actually made sense. One vote makes sense, one vote can be rationalized, one vote may have had poor motivation but could be argued for, and three votes bring to question logic and strategic gameplay acumen. After Zach and Trey’s rule violation in the Jungle, Leroy and Ty thankfully dodged this undeserved chad hanging, so all is well. May the lesson be learned that unlike my Presidential vote from the state of MA, every vote on The Challenge does count.

Tough moment, ladies. At least we can’t blame production this time.

"The Challenge", Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Preseason Power Rankings

July 10, 2013 David Bloom 2 Comments

Are you ready?

Tonight’s main event has crept up on me like an over-hyped hurricane (thankfully not of the Nia nature) that was detected by meteorologists so early on that I could not possibly believe it to be real (despite the evidence delivered by the first teaser trailer only a handful of weeks ago), but now, as 10:00 p.m. EST tonight fast approaches, I can hardly believe that this is actually happening. Brace yourselves. There’s a storm coming, Mr. Wayne!

Back in February, when the MTV blog tantalized fans with the prospect of an All-star 24th season of The Challenge (Originally an offset of the Real World and Road Rules, this American competition institution allows past cast members to extend their fifteen minutes of fame to sometimes unprecedented durations while competing in a series of elimination competitions that all lead to a death defying (I wish I were kidding) final challenge. The team who wins the final challenge wins a fair amount of money. T. J. Lavin has been the stalwart and often heroic host for many years now (“He killed it!”) and will be (hallelujah!) yet again for Rivals 2) and asked for a public vote on who should participate (and, as in the NBA, not all players make the all-star ballot), I presented my picks (12 men, 12 women, 1 wildcard chosen for each gender from players not on the ballot) as a pipe dream of possibility. Five month later, MTV has delivered on this promise in the most wonderful of ways. With a roster of 16 men and 16 women featuring essential veteran players (Johnny Bananas! CT! Paula! Sarah! Camila! Wes!) and a crop of promising younger talent (Leroy! Frank! Zach! Nany! Marlon!), Rivals 2 was born. Although not an All-star season in name, Rivals 2 is unequivocally an All-star season in talent and scope. The Rivals format that places two historic enemies on the same team, demanding a cease-fire in the pursuit of a monetary windfall, is a structural win. Great moments will arise (Who can forget Kenny literally carrying Wes on his back in the finals of Rivals I?), long lasting and redemptive friendships will be born (Laurel and Cara Maria built an incredibly supportive bond on Rivals that exemplified what it meant to be a great teammate), and you may even learn how to replicate every detail of a campsite while carrying a literal ball and chain (this is also known as “a walk through a simulation of hell”).

This season’s pairings of competitors on Rivals 2 are notable for two things: hardly any of them are in fact Rivals (Did MTV producers give the green light on the structure after having only signed up CT and Wes or after only having read the Zach and Trey’s twitter interactions? Dunbar doesn’t even know “rival” Tyrie’s last name!) and, beyond a few teams that are clearly at the top and bottom of the totem pole, there is an argument to made that most teams have a legitimate chance to go to the finals. This wide open competitive landscape with few clear alliances gives a win to dramatic potential and an opportunity for anything to happen.

My team previews already exhausted ten thousand words on the prospects of our competitor tandems (if you read all of them, much credit is awarded), but before I hit the preseason power rankings, here are a few additional thoughts on the season:

The Fifth American Major Professional Sport – Yes, this has been a moniker for The Challenge, expertly conceived by Bill Simmons and his Czar of Reality TV, David Jacoby, so many years ago, but for the first time, its hyperbolic essence may be waning. Like American’s niche relationship with the NHL outside of Detroit and Denver in the mid-90s through at least the first lockout, you are either a diehard fan of The Challenge or you are not a fan at all, and for the first time, the diehards are growing and are really coming out to support. Certainly the twitter revolution (admittedly effecting my own power rankings commentary this week) has played a critical role, creating a direct line of access and a platform for fan connection (only the David Stern Retirement Tour has been this clairvoyant in other major professional sports with the use of new media and new technology). This has fostered growth in the brand and in the intensity of fandom. Already of the highest level of athletic competition and with a finals that is infinitely more interesting than any component of the “too late for youngsters time of night advertisement fest destroyed by the annoyance of listening to Joe Buck” that is the MLB playoffs, The Challenge may actually be the fifth major American professional sport.

Where is Laurel? – The truth of the why concerning the exclusion of Evan and Kenny (both are Challenge royalty) from Rivals 2 (and other recent Challenges) is likely imbedded somewhere in a legal document drafted by Tonya Cooley’s lawyers, but there is no explanation why Laurel (3 seasons, 3 finals) is not a part of this seven week Thailand adventure. Her Amazonian awesomeness will be sorely missed.

The Challenge is like the United States Men’s Basketball Team…

Rivals I and Battle of the Exes were like the 2008 Men’s Olympic Basketball Team. They featured the best players in the world (Kobe, Johnny Bananas, Lebron, Kenny, Laurel, DWade, Evan, Ev, the 2008 Dwight Howard, CT, Melo, Paula), some aging veterans who everyone respected (Jason Kidd, Mark Long), and a few random players that everyone forgets about (Michael Redd, Tayshaun Prince, Davis, Katelynn). If an apt comparison, Battle of the Seasons was like the 2010 World Championship Team. Some of the best veteran players took the summer off (no Kobe, Johnny, CT, Lebron, Paula, etc.), allowing some on the verge younger talent to gain some experience out of the shadow of the big boys (Kevin Durant, Frank, Derrick Rose, Zach, Russell Westbrook, Nany, Dustin, Derrick Rose). Rivals 2 is like the 2012 Olympic Team. Kobe, Lebron, and Melo are back (Johnny, CT, Paula), DWade and Howard are injured (Kenny and Evan – sorry to you both, I don’t particularly care for either Dwyane or Dwight), but the young talent of Durant, Westbrook, and Love (Frank, Zach, Nany) are now ready to play with the big boys. (Yes, I spent too much time coming up with this. Yes, in this “filled with holes” metaphor Dustin Zito is Derrick Rose.)

As usual, alliances will rule, but it sure could be confusing. – We do not yet know the official rules (revealed to the cast on the first episode), but if it is at all similar to Rivals I, alliances will still be as important as ever. What makes the possibilities this season so interesting is that the lines between veterans and rookies and connections and enemies are more blurred than ever. Let’s go down just one rabbit hole: of course Johnny (and subsequently Frank) will be closely aligned with Paula (and subsequently Emily). Here’s where it gets interesting – Emily and Paula, from past relationships, should be closely aligned with Ty (partnered with Leroy who got along with Johnny really well on Exes and Rivals I). This all makes sense so far. Johnny’s partner, Frank, is going to be close with Zach (partnered with Trey) from their Team San Diego days. Zach, no longer involved romantically with Jonna, is going to have an adversarial relationship with Jonna and Nany. Nany, dating back to her Real World: Las Vegas days, will be connected to Leroy. This could be problematic for Leroy if he aligned with Johnny and Frank and Trey and Zach because they will have beef with Jonna and Nany. Where is Jenn (with two “n”s) when we need her to be the consummate “playing both sides” figure in this game? (Also, why is Jenn not on this season). How all of these alliances fall is anybody’s guess. Beyond some very clear unbreakable bonds, I expect some “sorry Paula, we are choosing Ev instead of you”-esque alliance destruction throughout the season.

There are many pursuits of a first The Challenge win, but Sarah’s is the one we care the most about…

There are several competitors this season who have been on at least six Challenges and have never won (CT, Aneesa, Diem, Tyrie who has yet to even be near a finals), but no pursuit of a first championship quite captivates our heart like Sarah’s (now in her seventh straight season attempt). Sarah embodies all that is good in a The Challenge world that too frequently becomes a series of drunken, violent, and embarrassing “extracurricular nighttime activities.” Her drive to compete is so earnest – she is a throwback to simpler time when competitors care most about the love of the game. Any time the great T.J. Lavin announces a traditional one-time a season trivia contest (as I am sure he will again this year), Sarah’s spontaneous infectious and contagious display of joy provide the viewer just that. She is someone we can all root for, and, with a savvy and driven partner like Trishelle, she has as good a shot as she has ever had before at finally winning.

On to the rankings…

As became tradition last year during Battle of the Seasons, the individual competitor power rankings and team power rankings will be released weekly sometime shortly after each new episode airing. Here are the individual and team rankings going into the season. Some postseason award and final predictions will follow…

PRESEASON RIVALS 2 INDIVIDUAL POWER RANKINGS

THE MEN

1. Johnny Bananas (9th season, 5 finals, 4 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Records held: Most Season Appearances, Men – 9 (tied), Most Seasons Won, Men – 4

Tweet comment: Legendary and undisputed Challenge king primed to make triumphant return. Found the perfect balance between strategy and athleticism.

2. CT (9th season, 4 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Records held: Most Season Appearances, Men – 9 (tied)

Tweet comment: Perennial #1 Challenge intimidator, recently mellowed. Must find way to manage collective animus toward Wes, fight off lady distractions.

3. Frank (2nd season, 1 finals, 1 win – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Temperamental Extracurricular Nighttime Activity wild card, but strategic mastermind of BoS win. A Johnny Bananas in training.

4. Zach (2nd season, 1 finals, 1 win – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: “Thor” is physical beast, gave mostly (Sam may object) calming force on Team San Diego BoS win. Must find way to get along with enemy Trey.

5. Wes (8th season, 3 finals, 1 win – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Records held: Most Elimination Rounds in a Single Season, Men – 5, Most Elimination Wins in a Career, Men – 11

Tweet comment: Arrogance & self-proclaimed brilliance aside, has had amazing Challenge resiliency amidst slew of enemies. Must find a way to work with CT.

6. Dunbar (6 seasons, 1 finals, 1 win – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Often on wrong alliance, faces upward battle with yet to prove himself, Tyrie, as partner. Must rely on experience and strength to succeed.

7. Ty (4th season, 1 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Coming off great performance on BoE, must continue to ride that momentum, stay out of conflict. Leroy is ideal partner to keep Ty in check.

8. Leroy (3rd season, 1 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Most welcome return after 1 season off, has to excel in social game & manage potential Ty outbursts. Takes care of business in challenges.

9. Derek (3rd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Had very successful run on Team Cancun on BoS, great team player. Will work well in social game, but impressive in challenges too.

10. Robb (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Bulked up in offseason, already huge dude. Derek fight non-factor. Could break out this season w/o Marie. Social game prowess is unknown.

11. Knight (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Left BoS riding a little momentum, primed to be strategy power player in future. Can he motivate Preston and keep things positive?

12. Trey (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Unexpected major feud (at least in social media) with Zach. Athleticism and drive to be great will supersede bad blood. Could go far.

13. Marlon (Rookie season)

Tweet comment: Great addition to The Challenge. Ready to have a big rookie campaign. Well-matched with Jordan athletically. Will surprise people.

14. Jordan (Rookie season)

Tweet comment: Fulfilling Challenge destiny, will be perfect fit as freak athlete. Must tweak social game. Partnership w/ Marlon: Leroy/Mike in Rivals I?

15. Tyrie (6th season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Yet to prove much in 6 seasons, strange partnership w/ Dunbar. Although overdue for success, still likely early exit. Weak in social game.

16. Preston (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Not quintessential Challenge material, but apparently, he can run! Mostly poor showing on BoS. Gained some confidence toward the end.

THE WOMEN

1. Paula (10th season, 4 finals, 1 win – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Records held: Most Season Appearances, Women – 10, Most Appearances in a Final, Women – 4 (tied)

Tweet comment: Longest tenure in Challenge history, much wiser & stronger now. Great w/ strategy, amazing partner in Emily. Close ties to Johnny Bananas.

2. Sarah (7th season, 3 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Records held: Most Consecutive Seasons, Women – 7

Tweet comment: Just an amazing person. 7 straight Challenges, due for a win. Trivia master and has great relationships. Will partner well with Trishelle.

3. Emily (3rd season, 2 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Yet to win a finals, best position yet with Paula as partner. Most athletic women this season (no Laurel!). Rivalry with Paula non-issue.

4. Nany (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Resilient, strong, willing to step up for her team. Well-matched w/ Jonna. Left BoS too soon. Must stay grounded, esp. while intoxicated.

5. Jonna (3rd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Out of Zach romance, can have more focus on Rivals 2. Will partner well w/ Nany. Must exhibit next level strategy. Strong in challenges.

6. Camila (5th season, 1 finals, 1 win – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Ready for comeback season after Big Easy debacle on BoS. Killer instinct, drive like no other but must be corralled. Jemmye as partner? Yes!

7. Trishelle (4th season, 1 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Made strong comeback on BoS after many years away. Wants to win – rivalry will be non-issue with Sarah. Must push herself a little harder.

8. Diem (7th season, 2 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Courageous and incredible in real life – fought cancer twice. Struggled at time on Challenges. Relationship with CT can be a distraction.

9. Jemmye (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Predict a breakout season. Sneakily good athlete, committed, well-liked, will get along with Camila. #Team subtitles could be surprise.

10. Aneesa (9 seasons, 2 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 23)

Records held: Most Elimination Wins in a Career, Women – 8

Tweet comment: Challenge veteran back for an 8th season. Hasn’t been in finals in some time. Endurance has always been an issue, but in best shape ever.

11. Jasmine (4th season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Seasons 23)

Tweet comment: Took major positive steps on BoS. Valuable member of Team Cancun. Still must fight against small frame. A calmer version of former self.

12. Theresa (4th season, 0 finals, o wins – last appearance: Rivals 21)

Tweet comment: Took past 2 seasons off, must build up some new relationships. She and Jasmine will be physical underdogs – good to be under the radar.

13. Cooke (Rookie season)

Tweet comment: Professional Filipino soccer player, how long will she be partnered w/ Naomi? Must make good alliance decisions or face early elimination.

14. Jessica (Rookie season)

Tweet comment: Should be a classic rookie – happy to be there, but early elimination. Counting on dirt biking (her forte) in one of the challenges.

15. Naomi (2nd season, 0 finals, 0 wins – last appearance: Battle of the Exes 22)

Tweet comment: Rumored to leave early, nothing to do with game. Unproven. Challenge may not be best forum for her.

16. Anastasia (Rookie season)

Tweet comment: Breakout star of Rivals 2 trailer w/ CT slap. Could put target on back. Not someone you would expect to bring much to table athletically.

RIVALS 2 TEAM RANKINGS

Johnny and Frank – Team Average: 2
Paula and Emily – Team Average: 2
CT and Wes – Team Average: 3.5
Sarah and Trishelle – Team Average: 4.5
Nany and Jonna – Team Average: 4.5
Ty and Leroy – Team Average: 7.5
Camila and Jemmye – Team Average: 8
Zach and Trey – Team Average: 8
Diem and Aneesa – Team Average: 9
Derek and Robb – Team Average: 9.5
Dunbar and Tyrie – Team Average: 10.5
Jasmine and Theresa – Team Average: 11.5
Knight and Preston – Team Average: 13.5
Marlon and Jordan – Team Average: 13.5
Cooke and Naomi – Team Average: 14
Anastasia and Jessica – Team Average: 15

Postseason Awards and Predictions

MVP – Men: Johnny Bananas (runner up: Leroy); Women: Emily (runner up: Sarah)

Most Improved Player – Men: Trey; Women: Jemmye

Rookie of the Year – Marlon

Some bold predictions:

Both Marlon and Jordan and Camila and Jemmye will come very close to making the finals, but fall short.
Dunbar and Tyrie will learn each other’s last names, but will not be able to avoid an early elimination.
There will be a moment in which Johnny, Frank, and Trey strategize together.
Jasmine will not do too well in terms of competition, but will continue to showcase a more mellow version of herself.
Cooke will have a moment on the show that everyone is talking about.
CT and Wes will be on the wrong side of the alliance and will have to prove themselves in an elimination early on.

Teams in the Finals – Men: Johnny and Frank, Ty and Leroy, Zach and Trey; Paula and Emily, Sarah and Trishelle, Nany and Jonna

Winners – Men: Johnny and Frank, Women: Sarah and Trishelle

My first episode recap and Week 1 power rankings will be out sometime later this week. Enjoy this season!

PRESEASON POWER RANKINGS – MEN DIVSION

THE ROOKIES

BACK FROM SYDNEY

THE LAST CHANCE?

NO KNIGHT, NO PROBLEMS

SOMETHING TO PROVE

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