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THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 5

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This week’s episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons was titled The Dark Knight.  MTV – easy (and probably cliché) pun aside – I am offended.  To associate Knight (first name Ryan), Team New Orleans’ over confident, obnoxious, offensive, at times genuinely kindhearted, pain in the neck, and Jemmye on again off again ex in any way to the real Dark Knight or the Christopher Nolan masterpiece, is irresponsible and beguiling.  Knight’s actions in this week’s “let’s cliffhang the elimination to accentuate the Devyn/Easy romantic drama” episode were the opposite of heroic, really turned me off, and made me yearn for the menace of the Joker (at least his chaos was thoughtful and clever) to put this gutless and dark less than Knight in his place.

ImageRational ranting aside, a Dark Knight he was not, but in his defense, Knight, did act with strategy in mind (it just wasn’t very good strategy) and time will tell if the other teams identify why this kind of behavior just cannot be tolerated.  (Looking back now on the Real World: New Orleans experience, what is the deal with that group?  From Preston’s unconventional toothbrush usage, to the experience of witnessing the life and times of Ryan, to Knight’s clothes cleaning tactics, something went terribly wrong).  Knight’s after show (brought to you by Jonny Moseley’s interesting hairstyle) hubris showed how somebody (Jemmye certainly tried, credit must be given) has yet to adequately paint this gentleman the picture of just how immature and uncool his behavior (and the bar is set low on this show, people!) actually was.  My hope is that the game will speak for itself and Knight and Team New Orleans will have to pay in the arena for his stupidity.  Until that time, here’s what must be discussed (including the details of these aforementioned Knight incidents) in this week’s episode:

KNIGHT CLEANS NANY’S CLOTHES

Although according to Knight on Challenge Legend Derrick’s fantastic weekly podcast at ultimatechallengeradio.com, the clothes incident occurred after the Nany/Knight post bar blowout (discussed later), be we begin here where the episode begins.  To summarize, someone (a Turkish laundry service?) does Challenge cast members laundry and sends it back in neatly folded in plastic bag covered package.  After all the laundry had been returned, Nany wondered, “Hmm…where is mine?”  As we soon learn, Knight decided to throw Nany’s laundry in the pool because after all, Knight believes that “laundry in Turkey is not done very well” so “he thought he would help [Nany] out.”  After Nany makes this discovery, Knight decides to (and according to Knight on D. Kosinski’s pod, he was aided by Zach, seriously dude?) deliver the rest of Nany clothes to the pool floor for cleaning.  Jemmye – take it away: “What grown man throws another person’s clothes in a pool?”  Although the right sentiment, the fallacy in the question surrounds the “grown man” portion.  Grown men do not throw another person’s clothes in a pool.  As Camila says, “I don’t even think fifth graders do this.”  (She also went on to say that Knight is “dirt” and she wishes she could “step on” him.  The moral of this is do not mess with Camila).

So, why is Knight lacking the maturity to act as man in this case?  His rationale for this unconscionable behavior is that “[Nany] is not all there, stable” and that “this is a game” and if he can “mentally break someone, they shouldn’t be here.”  I agree with a portion of this to a point.  You succeed in The Challenge only if you are mentally there.  Look at Paula as a prime example.  Her success in recent years was directly corralated to her ability to put some of her insecurities and past issues behind her and find the proper mental focus and confidence to rise to the top.  CT has always been a nasty athlete, but he has only been able to do so well in recent seasons because of a accentuation of the kinder, more introspective parts of himself.  The Derricks, Landons, and Darells of Challenge lore have always had physical toughness matched with mental toughness.  Darrell’s one misstep was the regretable boxing match between he and Brad on The Ruins and represents the only time in my memory that his mental toughness was less than stellar.  It is acceptable for Knight to identify mental toughness weakenesses in other competitors, he just didn’t have to do it in such a nasty way.

The fallout of the clothes cleaning incident speaks to just how unsuccessful Knight was at achieving his goals.  Nany’s ability to fuel her anger and recognize that this was clearly a bush league move by Knight (and did not demand anything more than condescending to its stupidity) was simply remarkable.  She showed this questioned mental toughness in recognizing that her payback can and will occur in the actual gameplay.

The kindness of Big Easy, Camila, and especially Dustin must not go unnoticed.  Dustin says it best (although we get what he means, at the same time, we not all that sure what he means): “You know we are going to do…we are going to turn those lemons into watermelons.”  Watermelons are delicious and Team Nany ate them up, exposing Knight as a real aggressor and subsequent game enemy, and galvanized the Team Las Vegas juggernaut.  Nany knew that by taking this highest road, it “kills them (Knight and friends) that much more.”  Good for Nany.

How do the alliance powers feel about this tomfoolery?  Frank, one of two clear alliance male alphas (along with CJ) is right on point:  “It’s not smart Knight.  It puts a target on their back and all they did was rally behind it.  They’re just out there celebrating that fact that they now have a common enemy.”  The Team Brooklyn, Team St. Thomas, and Team Fresh Meat islands now may have an evolving ally in Team Las Vegas who hopefully will now see Knight and Team New Orleans as prime target number one.  Frank continues, “Knight you are douche.  The alliance is carrying around a big painted target and we do not need to make it even bigger.”  Knight’s target enhancement should at least push Frank (because he knows it is a bad look) and CJ (because he professes to adhere to a higher moral code) to cut their New Orleans losses.

THE “DON’T WEIGH ME DOWN” CHALLENGE

ImageAs has happened with many challenges this season (last week’s “Hook, Line, and Sinker” being the aberration), the “Don’t Weigh Me Down” competition is geared toward collaboration among teams and gives clear advantage to the ruling alliance.  In this challenge, half of each team stands on the platform holding up the rock basket for as long as humanly (or superhumanly in Big Easy’s case) possible and half the team puts rocks in the baskets of their choosing.  Although Easy (the basket holder) and Camila (the rock distributor) were a team of two, Easy showed up.  As he triumphantly declares in the heat of battle, “I would rather have the basket rip my arms off my complete body before I let that thing go.”  This feat of strength yielded a totally smitten Devyn (more on this later) to have “never been more turned on in her entire life.”

Sarah’s perfectly put “assassination of Brooklyn” has begun and they were the first team out after having been prime targeted by everyone, but Fresh Meat (This is despite some great mental imagery from Devyn: “Ok, Devyn, pretend you are carrying 100 pounds of shoes, high heels, beautiful heels, we can throw in some cosmetics…you can do this, you wouldn’t want them to drop.”).  ImageThe Easy strong man competition eventually ends (TJ gives a beautiful post challenge shout out, he certainly killed it), leaving alliance members to fight amongst themselves for power team status.  The cracks in the armor begin to fall.  Frank and Trishelle have a spat (Frank is working “his ass off” to keep this alliance together).  Nany recognizes that “this alliance has gone to crap” and makes clear to CJ and Jonna, the only other team left besides Vegas, that she knows that Cancun and San Diego are calling the alliance shots.

Credit has to be given where credit is due and Team Cancun rightfully wins this challenge with a great showing by Jonna and CJ (who seem to be perfectly in line), but also from Derek (starting to rise in the rankings this week) and Jasmine who worked their rock distribution to a tee.

THE BIZARRE POST CHALLENGE ALLIANCE “GATHERING”

What was up with this?  Invitations were sent out to Teams Cancun, San Diego, Vegas (I didn’t see Alton in attendance), and New Orleans.  Marie and Robb (with two b’s) were invited, but Trey and Laura were intentionally excluded.  The alliance powers wanted to discuss sending Trey and Laura in to the arena, but Marie would have N O N E of it.  She made sure that they all knew that her team was four strong and she would not accept the alliance attempt to push off Trey and Laura.  What became clear in this moment (besides Knight’s impression that Marie was acting “like a wild wildebeest”) is that Marie is running the St. Thomas team (and better than I realized) and will stand up for her castmates (despite the continual bridges that Trey seems to keep blowing up, circa Bane 100 minutes into the Dark Knight Rises).  The pullout from this conversation is that St. Thomas is back in play (Marie: “Cancun, I am coming for you”) and it appears (albeit from the edit) that CJ, Jonna, and Frank are running the show and Knight thinks he is running the show.

CHET VERSUS CJ

My favorite moment of this week’s episode went something like this: CJ was chatting it up with Alton and Chet about why Team Brooklyn’s heads of state keep getting James Garfielded.

CJ: “It’s not about you Chet, you know how I feel about you…I tell you I am proud of you as a competitor.”

CHET: “What does that mean?  You are proud of me as a competitor.  You are a fake and a phony.  Don’t tell me I am a good competitor and then throw me in…you are a phony.”

CJ: (walking away) “Now your true colors come out.”

CHET: “I wear them on my shoulder, I don’t try to pretend to be something I am not.”

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Booyah.  Chet wants nothing to do with the “fake Malibu Ken doll” and will not be condescended to.  Chet’s fight, Sarah’s drive and passion, an alliance that is “now crap” and a potential rogue Team Vegas, Marie’s game entrance, Knight’s prime target inducing stupidity, and the prospect of a Devyn-less Big Easy returning for vengeance from the arena next to the ever dangerous Camila could shakeup the makeup of this game’s power structure.  Nany and Dustin’s watermelons, Easy’s strong man impression, and Chet here could be the beginnings of this revolution.

NANY VERSUS KNIGHT – PART II (that was actually part I)

“I don’t know if there are full moons in Turkey or what’s going on, but people are completely insane.”  Trishelle’s wise words are all over the bus fight that became a house fight battle among Nany, her mental toughness, and Knight.  It all started with a hard to keep up with back and forth between first Camila and Jemmye, then Devyn and the bus, then Knight and Camila, then Robb and Nany trying to restrain Knight and Jemmye respectively, and finally just Knight versus Nany.   Camila reasoned that “Knight’s just got poor character and it is time we stand up and do something about it.”  This is fair.Image

Things escalated when the bus returned to the house and Nany had an emotional episode after Knight’s verbal assault took it so many steps too far.  It was an amazing role reversal to watch Frank (great work by the way), Trishelle, and the super cool Jasmine acting as sane restrainers.  Nights (and not Knights) like this do happen on challenges, so I felt for Nany in this moment.  My biggest pull away was in the way Dustin again got behind a Vegas teammate.  There was an amazing moment when Dustin sent everyone else away and said to Nany, “It’s me and you.  We stay right here…Who’s got your back?  You let it out. Knight has continued to mess with our team.  Don’t let him do it again.”  This was a huge moment (and the impetus for Dustin’s rise to the top of the men rankings this week) for Team Las Vegas going forward.  He was not going to let Nany fall apart and in this knowledge, Nany was able to pounce back vengeful and even stronger.  Can you imagine if Paula had received the same support from a Johnny (as he gave to Camila last season) on one of her first challenges?  Above all else, providing what your teammate needs (Laurel taught a master class on this with Cara Maria during Rivals) when they are at their lowest differentiates the winners and the losers. Image Dustin gets it, Sarah and Chet get it, and this is why my preseason favorites remain viable forces in this game.

In the end, where the light Knight’s head was at after the second Nany battle says it all:  “In the end this is a fucking game…ask McKenzie, I am the best manipulator here.”  Knight wants us to verify something with McKenzie whereas Dustin shows us what it means to be a true teammate.

DEVYN AND ERIC: A LOVE STORY

Oh we got here.  This unexpected challenge romance took center stage this week (and will even punctuate the beginning of next week’s “to be continued” conclusion) and brought some really endearing moments.  Devyn rightfully knows that “coming here and dating someone is equivalent of going to a fast food restaurant chain and ordering a vegan omolette,” but she can’t help herself:  “I am smitten with Eric.  It kind of blindsided me because I wasn’t looking for it.  I usually date people who are collecting their social security checks. So, to date someone who is under that age is sort of a shock, but it works.”  This self-described “long date with really bad food” is at times cute (their romantic kiss on the “double date” with Sarah and Alton), sexually aroused (Devyn watching Easy beast at the challenge), facing normal insecurities (the whole past relationship/age difference blip), and so sweet (their eventual “come together” moment pre-arena).

ImageLike Easy says (“I came here to win 250,000, and this is the last thing I thought would happen”), I didn’t see this one coming (nor did Devyn who apparently only dates men twice Easy’s age).  These two Turkey night star crossed lovers who will be torn asunder in next week’s first segment arena battle, appear to be doing just fine according to the Jonny Moseley hair clinic.  Good for both of them.

FRESH MEAT VERSUS BROOKLYN PREVIEW

Next week the conclusion of the arena battle pits Team Fresh Meat’s Eric and Camilia (TJ would be lonely in the arena without them) against Team Brooklyn’s Devyn and JD (we can see that Chet is not participating in the preview) in a mental strategy game.  If Camila and Eric come back, they are going to be ready to mix up this game.  If Devyn and JD return, Brooklyn remains four (a bit of a mixed bag) and reduces the alliance opposition ratio by another team (bye bye already beaten Austin and now Fresh Meat).  Although I was just beginning to like her (the shoe comment at the challenge was genius), I hope that Devyn and JD go home, hopefully releasing Chet and Sarah a little bit in challenges and unleashing the beasts within Easy and Camila.

Without further adieu, onward to the first non-elimination weekly power rankings…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 2 of 13

Dustin’s move to number 1 this week is so well deserved.  Although he may not have tapped into the strategy killing end of this game, his route so far has been part Landon, part Derek, and the best parts of Kenny.  He is likable, loyal, great at challenges, super competitive, a good dancer (we saw that clip), and a healthy social leader (we saw his leading of the “wish I could have participated) boat jump.  Nany’s description of him as “big brother’ on the Jonny Moseley Hair Experiment aftershow warmed many a heart.  His next job – get Vegas back together and start carving out some strategic connections to Brooklyn, St. Thomas, and Fresh Meat (if they come back).

2. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 1 of 13

CJ’s Chet conversation and Dustin’s rise pushed him down one spot this week.  One thing is clear – he is one of three players who are running the ruling party this season and has shown up at every challenge.  His win with Jonna was very impressive (beating an indestructible Alton and a fiery Nany).  How he deals with the ensuing alliance testing storm will determine how Cancun fairs.  The target is partly on his head and it is time to see his stealth strategic maneuvering abilities.

3. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 3 of 13

Alton laid low this week (at least in the edit), did well in the challenge (although not well enough) and is primed for a major comeback next week.

4. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 4 of 13

Thank you to Chet for providing real humor in this uber competitive fish bowl.  He calls it like he sees it and showed amazing fortitude against CJ this week.  Ironically, his continued rise in this game may take more steps forward if JD and Devyn go home.

5. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 13

Frank may be ranked a little low at number 5.  He has been consistent, continues to have a handle on the structure of the game (aligning with Knight and New Orleans may have been a major misstep), and was simply incredible trying to help the Nany explosion.  The next few weeks are going to be huge for Frank – will he maintain the status quo or will he adapt to the ever evolving and emotionally driven power structure of this game?

6. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 7 of 13

Derek rightfully deserves to move up this week past Zach.  He was dynamic in the challenge (he and Jasmine deserve Turkey street cred for dumping those rocks so well) and was a natural at representing his team’s arena pick to TJ and the group.  Still Cancun’s weakest player, Derek is no slouch and is a major reason why they are as successful as they are.

7. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 13

In the challenge, Zach struggled to work with Sam, concerned his intestines were going to shoot out of his anus.  His comment and crediting to Knight (“He calls it like it is”) after the Nany clothes cleaning incident did not sit well, and, if he participated, what are you doing, brother?  He has been slipping for several weeks now.

8. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 13

I continue to give Trey credit.  Even though it seems to him (and the viewer) that no one seems to like him all too much, his decisions seem driven by integrity and a desire to compete to win.  In the challenge he refused to agree with the alliance plan because he likes Brooklyn and thinks they deserve to be here, cheered on Easy’s feat of incredible strength, and seems to have developed a connection with Alton (only a good thing).  CJ probably accurately thinks that Trey needs to meet people halfway, but this may not be the time.  If he and Marie are able to lead St. Thomas toward Vegas and Brooklyn, they can take down the ruling alliance.

9. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 13 of 13

Easy had a big week and would rise even higher if her were not one of two teams that could be going home.  My prediction: he comes back and driven by love, will keep fighting much longer than we originally thought.

10. Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week 11 of 13

This week’s costar and central focus (along with Nany, as unofficially chosen by MTV producers) was my hardest guy to rank this week (as discussed ad nauseum above).  Hearing him on Derek’s podcast (particularly his connection to Chet – unexpected) gave me the impression that he recognizes he is stuck with dead weight (McKenzie and Preston), has some strategic chops, and is playing to win it.  Sadly, he is acting like the naughtiest of young boys and has ostracized himself from many a competitor (and this viewer).  I have trouble imagining a scenario where his team is not in the arena next week.

11. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 13

Robb did speak up in the Alliance conference meeting, but it continues to show how he is following Marie’s orders (like usual) and is less aggressive than Trey in gameplay.  Notwithstanding, no one seems to want to mess with Marie and Robb may have outsmarted us all by following her currently indestructible influence (it still blows my mind that St. Thomas, after four weeks, has yet to see an arena elimination).

12. Preston (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 13

The only moment I recall of Preston from this challenge was when he directed St. Thomas what to do in the challenge.  What was this?

13. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 13

JD is at the bottom this week because I think he is about to go home.  If he does go home, tough moment for JD who did not have one moment on screen this week that we saw him speak.  I am not sure the producers will be bringing him back for a third go round.

ELIMINATED: NO ELIMINATION

Biggest Rise: Eric (Team Fresh Meat)

Biggest Fall: JD (Team Brooklyn)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 13

Sarah may survive the Team Brooklyn assassination attempt even stronger (the elimination of Devyn and Jasmine could be a good thing for her game).  If she and Chet can pull the numbers back in their favor (she must have a hungry Fresh Meat, Vegas, and St. Thomas on board), the road to victory is back on the table.

2. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 13

3. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 13

These two keep doing their thing and keep doing their thing oh so well.  After a few weeks in virtual power (but out of power team status), the frontrunners came back to decision making bench (and Jasmine sported an unruly afro).  Jonna showed that she is an active orchestrator of strategic action and that she can bring it when it comes to strength.

4. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 13

Nany analysis has been done above.  I will leave you with these two quotations that best display the story:

1. “There is no alliance now, there is San Diego and Cancun.  I am so over it.”

2. “If you are going to throw me in I am going to kick ass…and then I am going to come back and fuck you up.”

Don’t mess with Nany (cue Kelly Clarkson).

5. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 6 of 13

I want to take this moment to say that The Challenge has missed Trishelle.  She is a great competitor, mixes it up with everyone, and has a den older sister quality going this season.  Her next strategic move (align away from the alliance in my opinion) will be her most important.

6. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 13

Marie!!!  She was finally able to fuel her self-professed “bitchiness” into an indestructible life force.  Now, you have already made it this far.  Get your team some friends (Brooklyn, Vegas) and make this thing happen.  Her loyalty to Trey and Laura went a long way in her rise to the top tier.

7. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 4 of 13

8. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 7 of 13

Eh.  At some point, will we get a better sense of what is going on with these two?

9. Camila (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 10 of 13

10. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 13

One of these woman is going home.  One of these woman is coming back.  Both will have something to prove (Camila will be as feisty as ever.  Devyn will be doing it for Eric) and both will come back stronger than when they left.

11. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 13

It was very sweet when she was commending Easy during the challenge.  She is sweet.

12. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 13 of 13

I must give Jemmye credit.  Jemmye had one of those “I kind of really like her” weeks (she had a few on the Real World).  I am SO glad she has come to this understanding: “Knight’s actions toward Nany solidify that I made the right decision by breaking up with him.”  Sadly, on a team with Preston and McKenzie, working with Knight is her best hope.

13. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 13

“The rocks are strange shapes.  Carrying them that distance is a bit of a struggle.”

ELIMINATED: NO ELIMINATION 

Biggest Rise: Marie (Team St. Thomas)

Biggest Fall: Laura (Team St. Thomas), Ashley (Team San Diego)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

T-1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 3.25, last week: 3.25 (1)

CJ (2), Jonna (2), Jasmine (3), Derek (6)

Another challenge win and another power team position.  Some feathers were knocked off their frock with Chet being awesome.

T-1. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 3.25, last week: 4 (2)

Alton (3), Dustin (1), Trishelle (5), Nany (4)

They keep on moving up in the ranks (finally tying Team Cancun).  Next week they must get on the same page as a team.

3. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 6.75, last week: 5.5 (3)

Zach (7), Sam (8), Ashley (7), Frank (5)

Team Brooklyn is closing in and Frank seems to be the only one holding it all together.

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 7, last week: 6 (4)

Sarah (1), Chet (4), JD (13), Devyn (10)

Sarah and Chet could be alone by ten minutes into the episode.  If they were this week, their team would be ranked first.

5. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 9, last week: 9.25 (5)

Laura (11), Trey (8), Robb (11), Marie (6)

The Marie rise plus some positive talk from Trey could be the fuel they need to make their move.

6. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 9, last week: 11.5 (6)

Camila (9), Eric (9), Eliminated: Cara Maria, Brandon

If they come back (a real if), look for a new life for Camila and Easy.

7. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 12, last week: 12 (7)

Knight (11), Jemmye (12), McKenzie (13), Preston (12)

Knight and his unmanly ways could put them on the block of chop next week.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

1. CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 2

T- 4. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 2.5, Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2.5, Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 2.5

5. Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3

6. Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3.5,

T – 8. – Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4, Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4

9. Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5

10. Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 6

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • It will be JD and Devyn versus Big Easy and Camila in the arena.
  • Today is TJ’s favorite challenge.  Is it because he is torturing Mckenzie’s soul?
  • It doesn’t sound good to TJ when Jasmine falls in the water.  Jasmine appears flummoxed.

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

Dr. Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  He writes about Pop Culture and the NBA for bishopandcomp.com.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out every Monday.  The Week 6 power rankings will be available on October 22. 

 

5 Things, Blog Posts, Movies

5 Things You Need To Know: ARGO

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When I see a movie in theaters, I will write the five things you need to know about it.

5 Things You Need to Know About… 

ARGO

1. Argo will be adorned with many Oscar nominations including Best Picture and Best Director.

2. Ben Affleck just took THE LEAP as a filmmaker.  After the two Boston/crime-centered definite successes of Gone Baby Gone (slightly underrated) and The Town (it may be slightly overrated), Argo is a high caliber movie that delivers in every scene, every detail, every performance, every nuance, every beat, every 1980s period hair piece and costume, and every shot of original Kenner Star Wars figures.  My fast-becoming go to film purveyor (and rightly self-professed movie cinematrician) Zach Baron, chronicles a career comeback for Mr. Affleck who has been to the bottom of a fiery pit (Gigli, Daredevil) and has come out as a filmmaker of skill, artistry, and unquestionable talent.  Argo is a crowning achievement and, unlike the distance that Paul Thomas Anderson creates between most viewers and The Master, Affleck gives the masses a front row seat to a movie of both unquestionable weight and brilliant execution. 

3. There are a staggering number of great film and television actors in small supporting roles in this movie that amount to consistent scene stealing and unheard of structural support.  The list includes Victor Garber (Alias as Mr. Affleck’s beautiful wife’s television dad), Bryan Cranston (the breath of this man’s ability ceases to amaze), Titus Welliver (who I remember fondly as the Man in Black on Lost), Kyle Chandler (Coach Taylor is a television icon), Zeljko Ivanek (always good for some intense power sneering), Chris Messina (a scene stealer from Fox’s ready for primetime new comedy, The Mindy Project), John Goodman (having a blast), Alan Arkin (having even more of a blast), Christopher Stanley (freed from the marital hell that is Betty Draper), and Bob Gunton (the warden from Shawshank who I have yet to have forgiven).

4. When a movie is “based on a true story” that is both actually worth telling and not so ubiquitous that it feels fresh, I am elated.  Argo is an incredible tale that fits the cinematic medium oh so well.  Declassified by President Clinton in 1997 almost twenty years after the actual events, this lost CIA triumph resonates in 2012 with vitality and ease.  It works for those who lived through the 444 day Iran Hostage Crisis in 1979-1981, or, if you are like me and were not yet born during the late Carter administration, Argo is a most effective way to experience this essential modern American history.

5. Argo is a movie (disguised as a film), but, if the Academy Awards bring more than just nominations for this “based on a true story” work of genius, Argo could become a motion picture by February/March of 2013.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  His weekly X Factor column appears on the Afterblog at Afterbuzztv.com.

Blog Posts, Television

THE X FACTOR – Season 2 Introduction and a Closer Look at the Top 24

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The UK version of The X Factor debuted in September of 2004 and has run every fall since.   Created by Simon Cowell, an original Pop Idol judge and burgeoning (and often notoriously mean honest) music producer icon, X Factor gave Simon complete control (something he did not have on Pop Idol) to steer the ever popular reality performance competition juggernaut.  His offseason side job was a little program called American Idol, a more successful version of the UK counterpart that only lasted two seasons (or series, as they call them in Britain), and Simon became an even bigger star in the States and internationally than the talent he was trying to cultivate.

The UK X Factor has spawned the careers of some major acts (Leona Lewis, One Direction) and some acts that have only seemed to make an audible dent in Europe (No, I have never heard of Matt Cardle or Alexandra Burke either).  With the Idol brand on a downward trend (beyond an Olympic miracle, last season’s winner, Philip Phillipps, was going to go down as the least memorable Idol champion since Taylor Hicks), Simon knew that it was time to make a change and bring the X Factor to the United States.

Last season’s American version debut had some successful components (music mogul LA Reid as a judge, live prelim auditions), but failed to reach Simon’s lofty preseason ratings predictions and failed to find its own, dare I say, “x factor” as a television program.  You could see the kernels of something great, but there was something wrong in the overall mix.  Changes had to be made.  Simon said “thank you, but don’t come again” to judges Nicole Scherzinger (a little bit out of her league and ostracized for her terrible decision to send the incredible Rachel Crow home) and Simon old-faithful Paula Abdul (whose career second act may have peaked in 2003).  The unintentionally comedic host Steve Jones (who spent the season as a befuddled, awkward, and hilarious Welsh import) was also given his metaphoric pink slip (I do miss his tomfoolery).

With Simon and LA Reid remaining on the judges panel, Simon wanted to find two new woman judges who could provide more of the buzz and vitality that the program strives to achieve.  In Britney Spears (not a girl, not yet a thirty-one year old woman), The X Factor has a megastar judge (she received top billing even over Mr. Cowell) who is still relevant (although I think her singing abilities have always been a little more “oops” than “hit me baby one more time”) and deserves credit for her longevity in the industry amidst some career-defining tough moments.  Demi Lovato, the twenty-year-old Disney factory pop/actor starlet, is a more unconventional choice as the second judge, but she brings with her a connection to younger fans who have been reared on her tween focused performance projects.  No stranger to some personal (and sadly public) problems, Demi has lived her twenty years, but has risen above these struggles.  Both Britney and Demi are at a pivotal point in their careers as they embark on the X Factor judge/mentor circuit this fall and both seem hungry for a career win.

In a stroke of unexpected genius, Simon removed the host from the audition/boot camp portion of the show allowing for more contestant intimacy and access throughout the many nights of audition coverage.  It is rumored that the always professional Mario Lopez and potentially underrated Khloe Kardashian will be stepping in for the live shows, but so far it has been a pleasure to be freed from the clumsiness of Steve Jones during these early stages.

This week, X Factor finished the emotional roller coaster known as boot camp (to the delight of tissue companies everywhere who are sure to capitalize on the sudden rise of tear shedding) and chose the top twenty-four acts in four major categories.  Last season, the categories were Girls, Boys, Groups, and Over 30s.  Complacent he is not in season 2 and Simon’s desire to make positive changes shook up this expected format.

This year, the four categories are Teens (under 17), Young Adults (17-24), Over 25s, and Groups.  The older group last season felt like it never had a shot, there was too broad an age, stylistic, and maturity (remember poor Astro’s attitude about being in the bottom two) difference between the older “girls” and “boys” and the youngest competitors, and the whole group idea felt forced (and straight up struggled under the leadership of Ms. Abdul).  These redefined categories and mentor assignments (Simon attached to the groups is brilliant, Britney is adorable with the little ones) should provide a more palatable formula for season two success.

Let us breakdown the final 24 acts and how they did at the mentor’s houses:

THE YOUNG ADULTS (17-24)

Mentored by Demi Lovato and assisted by Nick “I like your new clean cut look” Jonas brother.

Location: Demi’s noveau chic LA pad

Jennel Garcia, 18, student, Rochester, MA – She is a sweetheart in life, but has this tremendous sexy fire when she performs.  Her “I Kissed a Girl” was not her best work and may have been overly affected by Demi’s pre-performance chat.  Jennel: “I thought we would kind of chat before I started singing, but we didn’t and I thought they would say something after I sang, but they didn’t.  It was really nerve-wracking – I lost so much confidence, but I did everything I could possibly do.”  Demi was “bummed” that her “light was a little dimmed” after giving Jennel advice.  Jennel has the it, but with a very talented group, is not a lock for one of the four spots for the live shows.

Willie Jones, 17, student, Shreveport, LA – Willie, the unexpected country crooner, took a risk singing “Nobody Knows” again after a self-professed “bombed” performance at boot camp.  Although a much improved rendition here (especially in the eyes of Demi and Nick), Nick is correct to point out that he needs to define his particular genre.

Jillian Jensen, 19, part-time piano teacher, Rochester, MA – Known for her emotional first audition that highlighted her unfortunate shared history of bulling with Demi, producers have not shown us a ton of Jillian singing since.  Her “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles was “kind of sexy” Nick Jonas and was a pleasant surprise.  Like Jennel, her confidence and emotions may be a future consideration further in this competition.

Nick Youngerman, 21, janitor, Tipp City, OH – The exuberant (“I love this song”) young MC “sang” “Tick-Tock” by Keshia.  Although not able to sing (the “oh oh oh” choruses were monotoned), he has definite stage charisma, but I am not sure his performance ceiling is that high.  Demi: “I couldn’t tell if I was like loving it or super annoyed by it.”  Yep.

Paige Thomas, 21, nursing student, San Antonio, TX – The mom of a lovely little three-year old has been an emotional theme park ride since going head to head with CeCe Fry at boot camp.  Bizarre outfit aside, I didn’t get her “Turn up the music” by Chris Brown.  Demi may be right that her best moment may have been in her first audition.  As she exposes more insecurities, Nick is right to ask if Demi can get her “back to that girl” that the judges fell in love with.

CeCe Fry, 21, mail clerk, Decatur, IL – CeCe is a bit of a head case (what’s up with the leopard spots that she paints all over her face and leg?) and must fight what Demi described to her as being sometimes “unlikeable.”  Her “I’m Sexy and I Know It” did take Demi’s direction and she certainly wants this thing badly.  Will America like her?  She will certainly fight to the limit to find out.

The four who should go on to the live shows: Jennel, Jillian, Willie, CeCe

The four who will (Demi’s selections) go on to the live shows: Jennel, Jillian, Nick, Cece

THE GROUPS

Mentored by Simon Cowell and assisted by Marc “smart to end up with Simon on X Factor, sorry Jennifer” Anthony.

Location: Simon’s Miami palace (although apparently it isn’t even his pad)

Playback, teens – This charming group of five young (and super happy to be here after all being eliminated as individuals at boot camp) lads turned on Simon (“there is a something naive and kind of likable about them”), but Marc did not get it (“I was looking at an airplane”).  Lead lad Owen’s intense long-distance relationship with Tori (“this is all for you, Tori”) is…something.

Emblem3, 16-19, Huntington Beach, CA – Sorry, boys.  I don’t get it.  Their awkward “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” reggae pop rendition stumbled when the dude who never wears a shirt got lost looking at the beautiful sky.  Simon says that “they lost their way” and I am just not sure they ever found it.

Sister C, 17-21, Mount Belvieu, TX – These three sisters from a small Texas town have a killer blend and tight harmonies.  Their performance sizzled and each solo would compete in the young adults category.  They could be the one to beat in this category if America can get them (as Britney at their boot camp performance did not).

Lyric 145, 19-23 – The combination of two brothers plus effortless rapper Lyric (another post boot camp creation) made “Party in the USA” come alive in ways I did not think were possible.  Marc and Simon agree that Lyric is a “superstar.” (Although, what is up with covering her eye like a pirate?)

Dope Crisis, 25 & 30, Philadelphia, PA – This duo has been together seven years and both Simon and Marc think they had a good audition, but aren’t sure there is any further they can go.

Lylas, 15-19 – This boot camp reject combination of five girls are all really good singers as individuals and kind of worked together singing Shontelle’s “Impossible.”  Simon thought they were “unbelievable” and I definitely could feel something when they sang together.  They could be one to watch in this category.

The four who should go on to the live shows: Playback, Lyric 145, Lylas, Sister C

The four who will (Simon’s selections) go on to the live shows: Playback, Lyric 145, Lylas, Sister C

THE OVER 25s

Mentored by LA “I am not happy about this category, but I want to win” Reid and assisted by Justin Bieber and his manager, Scooter Braun (still not sure why he plays such a key role)

Location: at LA’s actual home in Beverly Hills, an absolutely gorgeous view

Jason Brock, 34, computer tech, San Francisco, CA  – After a vocally impressive first audition, Mr. Brock belted a clean and clear performance of “I hope you know” by Fergie.  The judge/mentor response says it all: LA: “That was a strong…(pause)vocal.”  Justin asked, “Is that the one?” and Scooter reminded us that the winner wins “a big contract” (thanks Scooter).  I am not sure they are high on Jason.

David Correy, 26, musician, Riva, MD – The tattooed, vocally strong guy told us at his first auditions that he is different because he is adopted and hoping to reconnect with his birth mother.  His slow, California skyline adoring version of “Domino” by Jesse J. gave LA “chill pumps,” but he believes that “viability in the marketplace is the question.”  He can definitely sing.

Daryl Black, 37, musician, Elk Grove, CA – Daryl felt his performance of “She’s Gone” and put his heart and soul out there.  Although Scooter believed “he’s got a special voice, and with a band behind him…” (what could possibly happen, Scooter?), LA just thought it was “singing.”  I think he was more successful in his first audition.

Tate Stevens, 37, road worker, Belton, MO – This “only dude in the hat” (what about Vino’s beanie?) does not want to go back to asphalt work (who does?).  His countrified “Back at One” by Brian McKnight was well-received by LA as a song choice.  Scooter thinks “there is something about him that makes you want to root for him,” but Justin is “not sure about giving him the 5 million.”  Agreed.

Vino Alan, 40, musician, Waynesville, MO – Adorned with tattoos covering his head, Vino admirably wants to provide for his son.  His rendition of “Sober” by Pink hits some of the same emotional peaks and makes some of the emotional connections as the original (high praise from me).  Scooter’s take, “The dude is petrified, he’s nervous, he’s scuffing up your shoes, but he stepped up.”  LA “likes the soul but is worried about the package…the package.” (whatever that means)

Tara Simon, 27, vocal coach, Atlanta, GA – She feels like she is going to win the whole thing (and actually believes it) and is super lucky with the new format (she would be destroyed by the girls if this were last year).  It seems like the men in her category are not enthralled to spend time with this vocal coach who may want to think about a new profession.  Tara thanked Jesus and thinks she gave “a near perfect performance” of “The Reason” by Hoobastank.  Justin thinks “she should make sure to have more sweet moments with her voice” and in life (I added the second part).

The four who should go on to the live shows: David, Vino, Jason, Daryl

The four who will (LA’s selections) go on to the live shows: David, Vino, Daryl, Tara

TEENS (13-17)

 Mentored by Britney Spears and assisted by will.i.am who, according to Britney, “knows what kids are listening to.”

Location: at Britney’s LA home which apparently is not her actual home

Diamond White, 13, student, Los Angeles, CA – Diamond White is a star.  Her performance of “I’m With You” by Avril Lavigne was a definitive better vocal than the original.  She may be in a different league than most other performers.  Will.i.am thought she was “amazing,” but that she “cares about her moves too much.”  I am unimpressed with will.i.am’s overall appearance.

Reed Deming, 13, student, San Antonio, TX – This Justin Bieber-lite believes that his “entire life has been in preparation for this moment.”  Reed’s almost undistinguishable slow version of “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s (in retrospect, all of the teen performances were super slow.  Did Britney ask for this?) left Britney thinking “he was nervous” and “can deliver better than he did, “  Will.i.am compares Reed to “a little emperor, like a little emperor kid.” (Joffrey from Game of Thrones? Oh boy.)

James Tanner, 15, student, Groveport, OH – As the only teen rapper in the competition, Mr. Tanner has his work cut out for him against some great singers.  Britney and will.i.am seemed to agree.

Arin Ray, 17, student, Cincinnati, OH – Mr. Ray competed last year as member of the group Intensity (one of the many groups that Paula mentored and America never seemed to figure out last season).  His version of Nicki Minaj’s “Starships” was a competent, if safe performance.  However, both Britney and will.i.am saw something special.

Beatrice Miller, 13, student, Maplewood, NJ – After showing some nerves before her performance, she rocked a plodding version of “Titanium.”  Will.i.am considered her performance “fresh.”  I think she has a little fire inside of her and may be able to compete in close to the league of some of her best teen competition.

Carly Rose Sonenclar, 13, student, Westchester, NY – After her incredible first audition, it was clear that this girl has a killer voice.  Her “Broken Hearted” by Karmin was a soulful work of art.  In the understatement of the year, Britney said, “she is a very talented young girl.”  She could very well be the winner of this season’s The X Factor.

The four who should go on to the live shows: Carly Rose, Beatrice, Diamond,  Arin

The four who will (Britney’s selections) go on to the live shows: Carly Rose, Reed, Diamond, Arin

What did you all think?  Which contestants will go to the live shows?  How long before Scooter Braun has his own reality show?

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  His weekly X Factor column appears on the Afterblog at Afterbuzztv.com. 

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 4

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For several weeks now, I have been singing the praises of several Challenge competitors (Team Las Vegas, Sarah and Chet from Team Brooklyn) and destroying several others (Team New Orleans) without having any real statistical data from this season as support.  Past Challenge and Real World seasons have provided useful insight, but on paper is one thing – you still have to play the games.  For better or worse, this week’s aptly titled “What Happens in Vegas…” episode tested the fortitude of a preseason favorite team, further confirmed the comical futility of another, and presented the rise of a Challenge veteran who may have just made the leap and is now definitively the one to beat on Battle of the Seasons.

A chronological recap does not seem to fit the makeup of what was an insightful and informative hour of classic Challenge action.  Last week, we discussed the rise of an alliance spearheaded by Frank connecting Teams Cancun and San Diego with (and to a lesser extent) Las Vegas and New Orleans.  This week, as Team Fresh Meat continues to be marinated, Las Vegas’ internal makeup was put to the test and Sarah, aided by the (fast-becoming) perfect sidekick Chet, was given an early season exam.  Her score was off the charts and it feels like the game has finally begun.

Here is what must be discussed:

SARAH

Last season on Exes, MTV producers unjustly sent Sarah home because her Exes partner (and this was a liberal use of ex and partner – I am not sure there was much to their relationship past a one night hookup on Fresh Meat II) Vinny, not known for his common sense, decided to pull off Mandy’s top and you just can’t do that.  Partners have been replaced in the past (Mike, Leroy’s bro, replaced Adam “Crazy” Royer on Rivals), but for some reason last season, Sarah was forced to pay for her partner’s idiocy.  I remember watching the moment from my uncomfortable living room futon empathizing with the visible disappointment and devastation on Sarah’s face. (There must be a story as to why Mr. Beautiful was not flown in.  And, Bunim-Murray, if Nate and Priscilla were considered exes for their awkward bed cuddling in San Diego, then the Kenny and Sarah flirtation on The Ruins must count).

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I came in to Battle of the Seasons hoping that Sarah would not only have the opportunity to compete again without facing silly producer decisions, but would (now on her sixth challenge) possibly find a way to put it all together and reach her ultimate goal (think LeBron in 2012).  There is something about her that makes you want to root for her and this made the Trishelle assault in this episode seem like it was coming from out of left field.  I recognize that I know her through a produced reality competition television program lens (and I know, the Challenge is so much more than that), but I really think Sarah is genuinely one of the good people in this world (and certainly on this show).  We will get to her competitive dominance in a moment, but the instance that struck me the most on this episode was unexpected.  It was her response to a perhaps too-off colored joke by Chet about selling her body to Alton for game benefits.  Sarah is tough and no one can deny that, but she was sensitive and hurt by Chet’s comment and was forthright in telling him so.  This moment of vulnerability (or the moment she broke down and cried when T.J. told her the bad news last season) is the essence of Sarah’s greatness.  She is strong, she is competitive, she will fight to win at all costs, she cares more than anyone, but she is also a human that feels.  These few cracks in her often impenetrable armor may make her the most relatable and genuine person that The Challenge has ever known.

Beyond her more affable traits, Sarah is a warrior.  Her decision to go into the arena, the admirable confidence and joy she had in the “Knot So Fast” strategy game, and the way she worked with Chet to find a way to win, were out of a chapter from the How To Win the Challenge textbook (with other chapters by the Miz, Kenny, Laurel, Derrick, and Johnny Bananas among others).  She was in complete emotional control, had keen and focused understanding of what to do, and had a incredible humility about the decision to be sent in to the arena in the first place.  “I’ll tell you the truth, I think people are starting to see that I am not a girl that they want to mess with and yeah, I’d want to get rid of me too.”  She gets a game that is played fairly and strategically, knows her place within it, and has the utmost confidence in herself (and now I think Chet) that she can win.  For all the other teams, Sarah (if she is with Chet) is the one to beat.

TEAM LAS VEGAS

For the first time this season, Team Las Vegas was tested.  In the “Hook, Line, and Sinker” challenge, they narrowly beat out Team Cancun (it was the opposite outcome in week 1) and fulfilled their destiny as the dominant challenge force.  This part was easy.  Now, as the power team, deciding who to throw in the arena proved to be the real challenge.

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Alton wanted to throw in alliance member Team New Orleans because of consistent poor performance (and captain obviously, because of his burgeoning relationship with Sarah).  Trishelle wanted to throw in Team Brooklyn because she thinks they are a threat to Las Vegas and teammate Alton because of some pre-challenge intel on Sarah (more on that later).  This pitted a Team Las Vegas internal battle between Alton and Trishelle and Nany that forced Dustin into a bit of a conundrum.  Nany’s take: “Team Vegas is in shambles.”

The potential problems are clear.  If Alton’s heart is too much of a driving force and is causing him to reason something that “is not the plan,” this is an issue.  Trishelle also thinks that “Alton will say anything to save Sarah” and that this “relationship is taking his head out the game.”  If Vegas is going to win, they need Alton to be focused and away from distractions.  Additionally, Trishelle went right to CJ and Knight (what up with that?) about her team issues.  She has got to keep family business in the family.

ImageAll of this could be bad news for Team Las Vegas, but my take is a little different.  Yes, when it was said and done, Dustin sided with the ladies and voted 3 to 1 to send Brooklyn into the arena, potentially further isolating and offending his Alton running mate, but what he said on the way back from the challenge may be more important.  When Alton and Trishelle first go at it, Dustin knows that “things are going to get heated and that’s ok.”  The most successful teams in all major sports (of which The Challenge is clearly one) are going to have these moments when they tested.  How they deal with this adversity will ultimately determine whether they have it in them to be a champion or not.  This is such a moment for Las Vegas and although some resentment may linger for a time, they must now move forward.  Dustin is going to be the key.  He called it straight with Alton and told him he was power tripping (wow, that was an incredible moment from Mr. Zito) and Alton took it.  He was able to hear from Nany and Trishelle without being steamrolled.  The question remains: can he bring the factions back together and will he be able to continue to independently (as I believe he did in this case) make the call?

Finally, this may have been editing, but it appeared that Vegas gave Alton the say of who to pick from the Fresh Meat team to go against Sarah in the arena.  This power consolation shows a functioning team who dealt with conflict, but can still operate as a compromising unit.  This was a test.  The results are pending, but I have a feeling they passed.

TRISHELLE VS. SARAH

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Every time a professional poker player is pitted against a warrior sweetheart, there are going to be some issues.  Here are some quotations highlights:

Trishelle on Sarah: “Before I came on this Challenge, I was told my multiple people, Sarah is extremely manipulative.  She might be manipulating Alton and he is an easy target.”

Trishelle to Devyn: “He (Alton) is picking vagina over his own teammates.”

Trishelle, on her prediction that Sarah would try to avoid the arena: “She should really just be a woman and go in.”

This all led to an AMAZING exchange between Trishelle and Sarah.  The confrontation went something like this:

Trishelle: “Trust me, I’m a poker player.”

Sarah: “I think you are not as good as a bluffer as you think you are.”

When Sarah won the arena strategy competition, “Knot So Fast,” Trishelle conceded defeat:

“I am the person that had to eat my words…it’s embarassing, I hate to eat my words, but I had to.”

In this Fresh Meat defeat and in this defeat conceit, we learned much about these two woman.  In Trishelle’s defense, she probably had bad intel about Sarah’s true intentions going into The Challenge, but if she believed what she heard, eliminating Sarah from the game makes sense.  I am impressed with both her vigilance in trying to do so and in her acknowledgement that she may have been wrong.  Sarah, on the other hand, showed tremendous fortitude by confronting Trishelle, speaking truth, and proving herself worthy in her arena performance.  I predict that mutual respect may arise from this early escalation and I think it is in the best interest of both parties (especially with Alton in the middle) to align.

SARAH AND ALTON

The Challenge has sprouted many a romantic connection and most are slightly curious (Paula and Ty, Evan and Veronica), too easy (Wes and Mandy), violent (Tyrie and Jasmine), beautiful and bizarre (Cara Maria and Abram), or horrifying and on a roof (CT and Shauvon).  There are not many Brad and Tori success stories (I so rooted for CT and Diem!), and more often than not, a Challenge romance is a challenge.

Alton and Sarah are great people and for those hopeless romantics out there (of which I am one), I wish them nothing but the best.  In the interim, I will leave you with some of Alton’s best verbal discoveries:

“You are like me only like a white girl.  But I’m like you, but only like a bald black guy that is much older.”

“Sarah completes a picture for me…”

“What I like most about Sarah – she reminds me of home.  She could be my best friend in real life.”

CHET’S ROLE

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Battle of the Seasons is a team game and you are only as good as your partner.  Poor Fresh Meat is learning that most Big Easy scenarios are not going to be easy.  As much as Sarah’s star shined brightly this episode, it is even more pronounced in light of the fact that her final partner could be Chet.  From a comedic (“It’s all your fault JD.  Would it kill you to get in Frank’s bed?”), strategic (he has been ready to play since day one), and “who do I want to hang out with” perspective (Chet seems super chill), Sarah is doing really well.  Chet rocked the arena and “wanted to be the ones (he and Sarah) to set the example for [his] team,” leaving every inch of himself in the sandy pit (including the hard work, high exertion vomit emmission)  Sarah said it simply, “Chet’s got my back and I’ve got his.”

Chet’s best moment (and perhaps the episode’s as well) came when Trishelle was talking some Alton-Sarah unrest.  Chet went right at Trishelle: “Have you heard their conversations? They talk about stars and wind….You are delusional.  You are a conspiracy theorist.”

Trishelle retorts, “She is going to try to save herself…she is selfish,” Chet’s response: “That is where you are wrong.”  Chet and Sarah are the team to beat.

WHAT ABOUT TEAM ST. THOMAS?

Lost in the Vegas deliberation over “Team Brooklyn or Team New Orleans in the arena” was the question: what about Team St. Thomas?  Apply this take by Knight about New Orleans to St. Thomas: “I think we are probably looked at as the weakest team but could actually be beneficial to us because they want to keep the weakest teams around until the end.  Hey, I’ll take that.”  The reality?  Knight may have been right.

The “HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER” challenge

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The “Hook, Line, and Sinker” challenge was “one of the most difficult five legged races you have ever seen” according to T.J. “the great one” Lavin.  Having seen so many, I totally get it.  Chet’s take:  “Devyn doesn’t want to get her weave wet and I don’t want to fall and like skewer my penis.”  Perfect segway to…

TEAM FRESH MEAT

…on the challenge Big Easy “needed a break” and then fell (his second disqualification causality) and the third straight Fresh Meat arena appearance.  Camila said it best: “We’ve been given this burden called Eric.”

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Meanwhile, Easy was romancing the Devyn stone and thinks “Devyn likes having a good time with Eric.”  This led to Devyn’s in your face wine drinking confrontation, “What is exactly going through your mind?”  At the same time, Brandon and Camila had their previewed blowout fight, Chet laughs, Brandon thinks Camila needs therapy, and Camila yells, “I’m done.  I’m done.  I want to leave.  I’m going home.  I’m leaving.”  The next morning, all was well and Camila got after Cara Maria for not wanting to volunteer an arena appearance (especially since Camila was trying to keep the team together).

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Can you understand why Fresh Meat suffered its first elimination?  Poor Brandon and Cara Maria were victims of another tough showing for Big Easy, an inexplicable refusal from Easy to volunteer, some bad luck, and the juggernaut that was Sarah and Chet in the “Knot So Fast” arena battle.  I will miss them both, especially Cara who deserved a more stable team makeup.  I have said it before – Team Fresh Meat had the worst possible combination of players (although three were strong as individuals) and needed an alpha (Laurel, Johnny) to lead them away from their dysfunctional ways.  As for Cara “I’ve hung on a few ropes in my day, so I will see what I can do” Maria, I hope that Abram’s arrival in Boston brings beautiful possibilities to her real life and that on the next challenge, she and Laurel can once again partner together to even greater heights.

Onward to the weekly power rankings…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 14

CJ is top dog for the first time this week.  His Jonna-like insight cannot go unnoticed: “Las Vegas wins.  It’s a win-win for our alliance.  I don’t have to sweat anything.  You guys make the decision.”  Vegas sweated, CJ relaxed, and Cancun remains as strong as ever.  Also of note, it appears that Trishelle has a clear connection to CJ (she conversed with him about strategy on a view included segments).  Since his Wes overthrow in week one, he has uncontested control of this game and will continue to assert it if Teams like Vegas remain loyal.

2. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 2 of 14

3. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 14

Although Nany did describe Alton as a “thirty-two-year old man having a temper tantrum,” (not a good look and the reason for a slight drop in the rankings), he dealt with a difficult situation with as much poise as you could expect (as in he showed the anger but did not go all ballistic).  As Trishelle noted, he is a feeler and leads with his heart (I remember you Irulan, don’t worry).  It is part of why he wins and what makes him great, he just needs to reign it in a little bit (especially with the momentum of a Sarah arena victory).  Despite some above the surface emotions, his game analysis is spot on: “New Orleans is weak.  It is so obvious that for Preston and McKenzie, it is time for you to go home.”  Obviously.

As mentioned before, Dustin was faced with a tough situation, and I think his handling of it showed true character.  In this weathering of the storm (“There is a part of me that believes Alton, but I am not sure where to way to go.  I am being tugged from so many different angles, I am about to rip apart.”), Dustin continues to rise.

4. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 6 of 14

See above.  Chet is a player in this game.

5. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 14

6. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 4 of 14

Frank was on the sidelines (not a bad thing with his alcohol track record), but did not lose momentum.  He was calm and cool when Ashley faced fear in “Hook, Line, and Sinker” and showed strategic awareness with his “two teams at once?” rule clarification.  He is still in it; he just took a short breather.

It was not the best week for Zach.  He had this moment: “Brooklyn is just all around softer than puppy turds.  Obviously we are going to send them in first.”  Wrong.  Even Knight highlighted something problematic: “Zach, you’re a monster.  We need a steroid test.”  Tough.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 7 of 14

Although his team came in second in the challenge, he remains mostly a silent partner (he did have some on point Sarah/Chet insight).  In the part of the episode that is not really part of the episode (I still don’t get it), Derek got naked, so there is that.

8. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 14

9. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 13 of 14

10. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 14

Once again, Chet, take it away: “It’s all your fault JD.  Would it kill you to get in Frank’s bed?”  Brilliant.  JD also managed to not compete in the arena.  Brilliant.

11. Knight (Team New Orleans) Last week 14 of 14

Knight knew this: “All I have to do is get past where Big Easy fell.”  That’s it big, man.  Way to set the bar high.

12. Preston (Team New Orleans) Last week: 12 of 14

Alton openly identified him as a weak player adding him to a list of Knight, myself, and Preston who have acknowledged his Challenge challenge.

13. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 8 of 14

He may have found love with Devyn (and I am happy for him), but Easy is struggling in challenges.  The Fresh Meat elimination this week is squarely on his shoulders.

ELIMINATED: Brandon (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 9 of 14

Biggest Rise: JD (Team Brooklyn)

Biggest Fall: Eric (Team Fresh Meat)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 3 of 14

See above.  After a week away, Sarah is back at the top.  Her attitude, her enthusiasm, her tenacity, her drive, and her coolness under pressure may keep her there for some time.

2. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 1 of 14

3. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 14

4. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 14

They continue to do what they need to do in challenges to avoid the arena.  Yet to be fully tested, will they have the same fight as Sarah or the Vegas girls?  The answer to this question could be the ultimate answer in determining who wins this season.

5. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 10 of 14

6. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 9 of 14

Finally!  Nany and Trishelle were given some opportunity to show their stuff and they brought it.  They receive high praise for convincing Dustin to vote for Team Brooklyn (and against Alton) and showed some strategic chops.  Putting an Alton/Sarah relationship aside, Brooklyn was a threat and they were right to try to force an elimination.  Trishelle’s first two comments post challenge were: “I would like for Chet and Sarah to get Camille (tough) and freakin one of the Fresh Meat guys out” and “we need to keep New Orleans around because they are weak.”  The poker player is here to play.  Although Nany may be “just letting Dustin and Alton guide [her] through this entire challenge,” she and Trishelle are performing and have a voice.  Their best next move?  Reconcile with Alton and consider a new alliance (Brooklyn, St. Thomas, and the carcass of fresh meat) that lets them get out from under the San Diego and Cancun shadow.

7. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 14

8. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 14

9. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) Last week: 13 of 14

Devyn may have found love in a hopeless place. – and she has Chet and Sarah as teammates.  Two wins for her.  Each week we peel back the onion under threat of weave destruction, we may learn more about Devyn’s ceiling in this game (not too high, easily persuaded by others – see Trishelle Sarah bashing), but she is certainly not anonymous.  And, if you are going to choose a person on another team to canoodle with that no will be threatened by, Big Easy is your man.

10. Camila (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 4 of 14

Camila is having a tough time on Battle of the Seasons.  Her slight victory in avoiding an arena is offset by having to continue to team with Big Easy in challenges.  This is not her year.  Like David Robinson in 1997, hang it up early this year and come back next year with a high draft pick (the return of Evan perhaps?).

11. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 14

12. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 14

13. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 14 of 14

Marie is “petrified.”  McKenzie says, “Don’t fall.  Don’t fall.  Don’t fall.”  Jemmye literally disappears.  With Devyn gone, the bottom three are intact.  It looks like Marie Marie comes out next week.  The Battle of the Seasons cast can now commiserate with Swifty and the St. Thomas viewing audience.

ELIMINATED: Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 7 of 14 

Biggest Rise: Nany (Team Las Vegas)

Biggest Fall: Camila (Team Fresh Meat)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 3.25, last week: 3.25 (1)

CJ (1), Jonna (2), Jasmine (3), Derek (7)

They finished strong in “Hook, Line, and Sinker” and remain on top of the standings.

2. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 4, last week: 5.5 (3)

Alton (3), Dustin (2), Trishelle (6), Nany (5)

Last week: It feels like we are still in the preseason for Team Las Vegas.  They have yet to be adequately tested.  This week they learned that “winning the challenge is the easy part…making the decision on who we are going to send in is the tough part.”  They dealt with this adversity and in light of Sarah and Chet’s arena win, Trishelle ate her words, and Alton will be complete again.

3. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 5.5, last week: 5 (2)

Zach (6), Sam (7), Ashley (4), Frank (5)

It was a slow, uninteresting week for San Diego, reminiscent of many Real World: San Diego episodes that featured Zach and Ashley GTSing (Gym, Talking, Subway).  Look for them to be back in the mix next week.

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 6, last week: 8.75 (5)

Sarah (1), Chet (5), JD (9), Devyn (9)

Last week I said: Look for a comeback week from Team Brooklyn in episode 3.  Success.  Derek kills it: “Sarah and Chet aren’t on the strongest team, but together, they are definitely a strong duo.”  Yes they are.

5. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 9.25, last week: 10 (6)

Laura (8), Trey (8), Robb (10), Marie (11)

Fresh Meat’s fall is their gain.  They have definitely had the easiest time as straight off the boat rookies in Challenge history.

6. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 11.5, last week: 7 (4)

Camila (10), Eric (13), Eliminated: Cara Maria, Brandon

Last week Frank called Team Fresh Meat this season’s “most dysfunctional team” and wonders since “they don’t have any loyalties, why would they come together?” This week, something had to give.  I feel for Cara Maria, Camila, and Brandon as competitors and am certainly happy for Big Easy in the land of love, but criticize producers for allowing such clear dysfunction on screen.  They never had a chance.

7. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 12, last week: 13 (7)

Knight (11), Jemmye (13), McKenzie (12), Preston (12)

Their weakness (as Knight pointed out) is becoming their strength.  I, like Alton, don’t think there is a place for this in The Challenge (whereas in Survivor it makes sense) when the final is about beating the best.  Oh well.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

1.CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 1.5

2. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 2

3. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2.5

4. Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3.5

T – 5. Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4, Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4

T – 8 – Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4.5, Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5, Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 4.5

T- 10 – Zach and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 5, Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 5

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Zach is “dying up here” during the challenge
  • Marie is not “keeping her voice down” and “doesn’t give a fuck who hears me now.”  Jonna is astonished.
  • Nany has one of those nights and wants to go home (see Dustin taking care of things, once again)…

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

Dr. Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  THE CHALLENGE: WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS comes out every Monday.  Check back here on October 15.

Blog Posts, Television

FALL TV UPDATE: CBS

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It has now been over two weeks since the beginning of the 2012 Fall TV Season Premiere bonanza and although some of the dust particles are still airborne, some have settled.  In the grand tradition of its clean, clear (and uber ratings successful) storytelling lines, my CBS season verdicts are as wrapped up as the ending of every one of its CSI/NCIS procedural factory shows.

SURVIVOR

WHAT I SAID THEN:  Returning shows that I will watch and DVR Season Pass: Survivor: Philippines (I made my alliance with Jeff Probst during the finale of Season 1 in 2000 and I don’t break my alliances)

I would be remiss if I did not give a much deserved and overdue shout out to Survivor: Phillippines and the glory of Jeff Probst.  Now in its 25th(!!!) season, Stella (and this new cast) got her groove back.  A three tribe format, the return of compelling fallen veterans (I forgot how much I loved Skupin in Africa before his burning hand in the fire incident), some engaging celebrities (former NL MVP Jeff Kent’s recent alliance with Penner was a classic Survivor power play), have once again reinvigorated and revitalized the tried and true reality competition pioneer.

At the end of the day on the island, Mr. Probst is my most reliable television staple and ultimately central to Survivor’s unrivaled success.  When I think back to the TV landscape of Survivor’s debut in 2000, Jeff Probst is the Survivor who has outlasted (and I daresay outplayed) everyone else.  Other shows have come and gone (my dear friend Tess cannot let me live down the time I spent with Anderson Cooper on The Mole) and Jeff Probst is still expertly administering tribal council q and a’s, live challenge play-by-play in the Marv Albert/Al Michaels league, and go-to punchlines (the “come on in guys” before every challenge is my favorite).  His high end hosting (if you can even call it that – he is so much more than just a host who reads cue cards) is certainly one reason for greatness, but I have another theory as to why Probst is the best.  More often than not, the winners of Survivor (or at least the most compelling contestants to watch) care and try the most.  There is nothing like watching a Boston Rob or a Penner this season treat the game with the reverence it deserves.  They value the Survivor process and how it should be played more than anything and know what a privilege it is to have the opportunity to compete.  Jeff Probst, like the best Survivor players, bleeds Survivor.  Although some aspects of his job are motions (“the tribe has spoken”), he is never going through them.  He plays each moment of his six weeks of filming (and the often unintentionally comedic live reunion show) as it could be the last, as if this grand Survivor adventure could come to an end at any time as fast as it became a phenomenon twelve years ago.  This is why Jeff is always so sensitive to quitters and so reverential to fighters (this season’s three disqualified-due-to-injury returnees especially).  He is fighting for Survivor and we are all witnesses.

VERDICT: (a very easy) full year DVR SEASON PASS

 

AMAZING RACE, PERSON OF INTEREST

WHAT I SAID THEN: Returning shows up for 2012 Season Pass cancellation: The Amazing Race (my most inconsistent staple over the years), Person of Interest (the fact that last season’s final four episodes remain unwatched five months later says something)

Amazing Race is like a home improvement project or the cooking of an elaborate meal.  If you have time and there is nothing else going on, great.  If it doesn’t happen, no worries.  The season premiere debuted last Sunday night and the teams are your standard player combinations (She has not one prosthetic leg but two!  They’re best friends for thirty years – he is 6’6’’ and he is 5’1’’!) and a race around the world is pretty cool, but AR does not ever seem to take it to a next level (I have always thought that some format changes were in order – the $2,000,000,000 twist for a team that wins the first and last leg is not what I had in mind).  Will I continue to watch?  Sure.  If an overtime NFL game goes late and pushes back the start time messing up my DVR, will I care?  Not really.

I feared Person of Interest would fall off the map after my lacksidaisical follow through in finishing season 1.  Because I had a few hours to kill and because the mood seemed right, I watched last year’s season finale and this year’s season premiere back-to-back hoping for a possible change of heart and some renewed momentum going into season 2.  I was pleasantly surprised to find a show that I had lost track of so many months ago feel so fresh.  POI, at its core, is a Batman-like story without the cape and cowl.  (Jim Caviezel’s John Reese is the non-caped crusader.  The great Michael Emerson’s Finch is an Alfred/Oracle hybrid.  Detective Carter is a Batman: Year One Jim Gordon, and the crooked cop (and at times hilarious) Fusco is Harvey Bullock.  Even the Paige Turco recurring character fits in to a Catwoman mold).  Guided by showrunner (and Christopher Nolan brother) Jonathan Nolan, episodes have great television action, interesting guest stars (I am talking about you Astro), a topical premise, and an ever-evolving central mystery that seems to be raising the stakes entering season 2.

VERDICT: Amazing Race is day-to-day and Person of Interest is cleared to play for the season

 

VEGAS, ELEMENTARY

WHAT I SAID THEN: New shows that get a pilot viewing chance: Vegas (I have never been too keen on Dennis Quaid), Elementary (the PBS Sherlock is so good, do I have room for a CBS procedural with Lucy “don’t get it” Liu?)

The Vegas series premiere was more than enough for me to learn that (a) I was right about Dennis Quaid, (b) Michael Chilikis may be pushing five feet, (c) not all period dramas inspired by Mad Men’s excellent use of time period work (see: The Playboy Club, American Dreams), and I will not be watching again.  For a show that has a supposed compelling setting, Dennis Quaid poisons it immediately as the anti-Probst.  He seems keen on a CBS paycheck and the potential for years of syndication residuals and will do the least amount of work necessary to get there.

In marked and wonderful contrast, Elementary is a confection of a television treat.  Going in, my reservations were about the over abundance of incredible Sherlock Holmes in my life (the PBS show is my jam, the Robert Downey Jr. movies are not), my challenges with past Lucy Liu cultural moments (the lyric in Hey Ya! comes to mind), and the CBSification (i.e. the standardizing and dumbing down of content to reach middle America’s older demographic) of what could be a delightful fictional character.

First, as I have learned, I can stand to have more good Sherlock Holmes and this is good Sherlock Holmes.  The move to NYC was a simple act of brilliance and frames the character’s outsider/otherness in a unique way.  He no longer just an oddball – he is an oddball Brit foreigner in a foreign land.  Jonny Lee Miller is a delight in the lead role.  He commands each scene with a real dynamism that I haven’t seen in a network drama in some time.

My Lucy Liu enjoyment may still be a work in progress, but the gender change to Joan Watson and the decision to portray her as Sherlock’s drug rehabilitation counselor is successful.  Their platonic and often contentious back and forth has been a joy to watch in the first two episodes.  This Watson is not relegated to the sidelines, but is rather an obstacle that Sherlock must learn to co-habitate with and utilize to his advantage.  It helps to have the always reliable Aidan Quinn along for the ride as a kind-hearted police captain.  He is a welcome return on Thursday nights at 10 (last season’s early cancellation of the underrated Prime Suspect left the Irishman out of work).

Finally, CBS is allowing Elementary some creative breathing room.  It is whimsical (when was the last time CBS has whimsy on its schedule?) and character focused.  The crime of the week format is intact, but Sherlock Holmes demands a mystery filled with twists and turns, and so far, delivery.

VERDICT: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  Elementary is a who-done-it.  I can’t wait to see what happens next.

 

PARTNERS, MADE IN JERSEY

WHAT I SAID THEN: New shows dead on arrival: Partners, Made in Jersey (nope)

VERDICT: Guilty

 

…NEXT UP: NBC’s Fall Lineup featuring Revolution, The Office, Parks and Recreation, The Voice, and SNL.

Blog Posts, Movies

New LINCOLN TV spot is simply incredible

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My mind has been officially blown. I am not sure I have seen a more glorious two minutes of movie footage in some time.  The juxtaposition of historical figures (Gandhi, MLK, Mandela) and historical touchstones (Women’s suffrage, World War II) with the profundity of Lincoln’s (the person, the time, and the presidency) radical and momentous historic achievements is work of brilliance.  Mr. Spielberg seems to have created another indelible cinematic achievement and his first since Saving Private Ryan.

Let the countdown to November 16 officially begin…

Blog Posts, NBA

A collection of NBA tidbits, news and notes, and beautiful views

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The 2012 NBA training camp experience has begun, preseason games start in a couple of days, and the NBA is alive and well in October (in contrast to last year when the lockout had forced a dead and sickly designation).  As is evident from my week 4 NFL picks (ouch, although some I can defend), the Association is my first, second, and fourth major professional sport jam (the third: THE CHALLENGE as you may have surmised from my weekly treatises).

So what’s been shaking?  Let’s kick it…

• Marc Stein released his first preseason power rankings this week and has the Celtics 6th behind the revamped Clippers.  Besides this tough moment for Marc Stein, he does an admirable job, especially acknowledging the Bobcats as the 58th of 30 professional teams (I kid).

• Dwight Howard wants to play in the Lakers opener ahead of schedule, Andrew Bynum has to sit for a few weeks in Philly, Chauncey and Avery may be a while, Janeero Pargo is back (!!!!) in the league because John Wall is out, and Vince Carter may be injured.

• Paul Pierce has a beautiful view from his hotel room in Istanbul.

• Darko is going to be so much fun…

• The talk out of the Celtics camp is phenomenal.  Doc is bringing back ubuntu, Rondo thinks this Celtics team is more talented than 2008, Pierce wants to remain a Celtic well beyond his playing career, and KG lost Ray’s phone number and is taking the bigs under his wing.  Can you feel it????  Oh yeah…

• Jessica Camerato of CSNNE.com did an amazing job with this piece on the retired Keyon Dooling.  It is a must read.

• Ricky Rubio has an unexpected reason for appreciating a Michael Beasley-less locker room in Minnesota this season.

• Nights before bed, get ready.  The words of Bill are coming…in the interim, check out this classic Bill analysis clip at :46.  Kwame Brown talk is always good for a laugh.  Throw it down big man!

• This pretty much sums up why Rajon Rondo is my favorite player in a generation.

And finally, set your dvrs so you don’t miss the first Celtics preseason game of their European trip on NBA TV at 2:00 PM on Friday!

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Weekly Power Rankings – Week 3

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The title of this week’s episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons was “The Perks of Being a Rookie.”  In traditional Challenge seasons, the “perks of being a rookie” include early exits, empty wallets, and the experience of being targeted by veterans whose line between “unconscionable hazing” and “we’re just having a little fun” is as blurry as my vision every morning pre-contact insertion or the yesteryear brit pop band.  I fondly remember Leroy and Mike’s adorable bromance taking them all the way to the final challenge on Rivals, but this rookie pair succeeded because Mike was a late game addition after insane Adam Royer fought his way off the show (he got booted) and because Mike and Leroy were the opposite of adversaries going into the season.  Otherwise, it is Challenge tradition, practice, and expectation for rookies to be sent home early.

Going into Battle of the Seasons, we knew that the sheer number of rookies would be new terrain for the rookie one and done policy, but this week’s action-packed episode presented an entirely unexpected scenario: there are rookies who are legitimately running the show.

Let’s recap what happened with some good old-fashioned bullet points:

  • We got to finally see the production heavy opening titles (held in episode 1 to create more Team Fresh Meat suspense).  These openings are always goofy.  I particularly liked the close-up of T.J. at the end.  Nothing compares to the Duel II opening titles (you have to watch the behind the scenes video – high level unintentional comedy).
  • We learned that Melinda has a GBH (Guy Back Home) and Danny has a LAH (Lady at Home).  They both seemed genuinely happy.  Based on the timing of this scene and the dramatic structure template that Challenge episodes follow, this does not bode well for the divorced couple to remain in the game much longer.
  • This week’s challenge was called “Oil Change,” a wrestling match in a pit of olive oil.  If you force your opponent out of the pit past the perimeter red line, you are out.  The first team to win four matches is the new power team.  The last team to win four matches is going into the arena.  Also, as T.J. said, “You may not know this, one of Turkey’s national sports is wrestling.”  No, I didn’t know.  Hey T.J., you may not know this, but I don’t really care.
  • Before the challenge, it is revealed that a purposeful alliance (start watching at :37, priceless) has formed among Teams San Diego, Cancun, Las Vegas, and New Orleans.  Teams Brooklyn, Fresh Meat, and Austin didn’t have their stuff together and are only connected by default.  Team St. Thomas is on their own island (some things don’t change).  This reality becomes the central focus of the challenge when the coalition (led by C.J. and Frank) discovered that by keeping the wrestling matches insular among their alliance teams, they would freeze out the other teams and ensure one of Teams San Diego, Cancun, Las Vegas, or New Orleans the victory.  This was executed (with minor setbacks) to a tee.  Many matches were immediately tapped out in obnoxious theatrical displays (T.J.‘s response: a disdainful “Jesus Christ”).  Team San Diego won (led my new Challenge mastermind, Frank) and was the new power team, followed by Cancun, New Orleans (riding the cottails of alliance mates), and Vegas (Dustin had to fight off Robb with two “Bs” for a legit win).
  • Chet realized that “somebody is getting screwed” among the four remaining teams.  Team Brooklyn and Fresh Meat completed the challenge first, leaving the last place spot to be fought over between Austin and St. Thomas.  After an epic draw between Danny and Trey, Laura beat Melinda and sent Team Austin into their second straight arena (after having lost Wes and Lacey last week).
  • Captain Frank and Team San Diego held court with Team Fresh Meat and Team St. Thomas to determine who would face Austin in the arena.  Despite Fresh Meat’s pathetic groveling (Brandon at one point said, “Pleaseeeeee”) and Trey’s as good as throwing himself in arrogance, San Diego sent Fresh Meat back to the arena anyway.
  • Team Fresh Meat could not decide which two competitors would face Danny and Melinda in the arena, yielding the decision to Team San Diego.  T.J, was accusatory when he asked Cara Maria and company, “You couldn’t come to a decision?  Why not?”  San Diego selected Camila and Big Easy to represent Fresh Meat in an endurance game called “Balls Out.”  T.J. in classic form: “I hope you did your running.”
  • This led to one of the best exchanges in Challenge history – T.J.:  “Easy, what happened man, you ain’t politicking right, what happened?”  Big Easy: “I don’t give a f–k.  How about that?”  T.J. : “Sounds good to me.”
  • Big Easy and Camilla beat Danny and Melinda and eliminated Team Austin from the game.  Seven teams remain and Team Fresh Meat seemed like a mess.

So, how could this rookie-led takeover be happening?

There are several key factors.  First, there is a MAJOR power vacuum without Johnny Bananas, Jenn with two “Ns”, Paula, Kenny, Evan, Laurel, or Derek, providing their traditional physical or political domination.  Even the players that have had past success have been retired for some time (Alton) or may need a strong partner to be kept in line (Camila).

Second, although a team like San Diego is made up of all Challenge rookies, they still have a team like St. Thomas below them on the totem pole to walk all over.  If Team San Diego were the only rookie team in the game, they may not find their journey so easy.

Third, this season’s vets are in dysfunctional teams.  Sarah and Chet are working with the likes of JD and Devyn, Team Austin is already out, and Team Fresh Meat is (up until this point in the game) a terrible combination of ex-players.  There is no calm, cool alpha.  Just think if they had Kenny, Evan, Ev, or Laurel calling shots.  Camila is a beast, but may not have the disposition to be a team leader.  Big Easy may have the disposition, but his track record is lackluster.

The time was right for a mind like Frank to take advantage, but he definitely has some external circumstances in his favor.  We will see how long he can remain the big dog of the Turkish pound.

To the weekly power rankings…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 15

“Who doesn’t like Alton? He’s probably the most amazing guy on the planet.” – Sarah.  Yes, he may be.  We only wish that the challenge required more of him.  It appeared like his “Oil Change” battles were inconsequential.  Still, any week Alton manages to be under the radar and on the side of the power team alliance, no will touch his place at the top of these rankings.

2. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 2 of 15

Unlike Alton, Dustin was put to the test and could not have performed better.  His epic draw with Zach (to the delight of women and men who like to see attractive men wrestle) was a signal of just how ready Monsieur Zito is to compete against the best of his competition.  Zach is bigger and stronger, but Dustin would not let up and definitely gave teammate Alton a preview of what his younger Las Vegas teammate is capable of.  Team Las Vegas did have a moment that mattered (when San Diego, Cancun, and New Orleans had already finished the challenge), but Dustin handily took care of business against the outmatched (but still a really tall dude) Robb with two “Bs.”  This is just it – at this point in the game, Dustin is just taking care of business.  We will see how he fairs when his alliance mate (I still think Las Vegas has the loosest of ties with the current in crowd) Frank brings up his pay porn past as teased on “This season on…”

3. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 15

4. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 4 of 15

Both Zach and C.J. represent the new Challenge uber-athlete competitors who are going to be in these competitions because of sheer athleticism and consummate off-season “training.”  Think Landon or Derek (although Zach and C.J. are not even close to being in the same league as these Challenge legends yet).  C.J. in particular is showing a keen, strategic mind (he seemed to be alongside Frank step by step in the “Oil Change” takeover).  Although Jonna “doesn’t mind the view” of an oiled up Zach wrestling and wants to “be yours” to Zach when The Challenge is over, Zach has a ways to go in the political maneauvering that must take place outside of the athletic competition and Jonna cuddling.

5. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 14 of 15

Frank said, “I think this is our time” as he plotted the Rookie Revolution in a confessional interview.  Frank, you may be right.  My, have the tides changed.  Frank’s crazy drunk night in the season premiere seems like a long time ago.  His nine position jump is earned for a remarkable transformation from a loose canon to a thoughtful, plotting mastermind.  I knew that Frank had this in him, but I did not expect it to happen so soon.  He is cool, cutting, and completely aware of what the right move was to make at each juncture.  A must listen or must watch is his interview with the AfterbuzzTV Challenge after show where he outlines his motivations and sizes up other competitors (afterbuzztv, by the way, may be the best place to get weekly Challenge intel).  He reminds me of a combination of Kenny’s confident sass and Johnny’s political scheming.  I am very impressed.  In the episode, his most striking moment may have been when Trey (an “egomaniac, a Wes Jr. if you will” as Frank coins him) pushes Zach’s last nerve in their “why we should save St. Thomas” discussion.  Zach gets up and his ready to leave and Frank forcefully responds, “Zach, sit down.”  This Frank/Zach relationship, so troubled in San Diego and its environs, may be the key to their victory on Battle of the Seasons.  Zach keeps Frank’s drunken messes in check and Frank keeps Zach’s quick temper and impatience in line.  As individuals they are strong, but as teammates, they may be the only guy pair that can compete with Dustin and Alton.

6. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 5 of 15

Chet has “never wrestled in oil” and it shows.  He also has a very telling indictment of Cancun’s yielding their power team status to San Diego: “Cancun is so stupid and so naive that now Frank holds all the cards.  He’s the new guy.  We are supposed to be tossing him in.”  Chet knows that Frank’s takeover is dangerous.  Does he have enough game to make a countermove?  I say yes.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 6 of 15

In this episode, Derek tried to beat Frank in an “Oil Change” wrestling match and lost.  At least he bought into the “Frank wins” theme of the week.

8. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 10 of 15

9. Brandon (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 7 of 15

Big Easy was in serious “vet mode” all episode, but I am not sure it did any good.  It was sad and slightly pathetic to watch him fighting for his life against San Diego’s power team power.  Give me a break for one day is all I am asking.  They did not give him a break, but to Easy’s credit, his anger, pride, and unwarranted “I’ve won before and can win again” attitude may have been the difference in his second straight arena win.  Here’s what I will say – at this point, I would rather have Easy’s fight than Brandon’s seemingly lack of backbone.  Easy has always been the underdog because of his endurance and physical issues, but now, after two arena wins, he may have earned a temporary reprieve from facing an elimination for the time being.  This week Brandon had a draw wrestling match versus Trey, easily threw in St. Thomas in his conversation (grovel session) with Team San Diego, and even asked them to save him politely.  Also, Brandon, I get that you did a few too many eliminations in the past, but at some point you have to step up.

10. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 15

From Marie cooperation issues, to his introspective awareness that he is “not really good at keeping [his] mouth shut,” to the “these are people that already dislike me” emotional sit-down with Laura at the end of the episode, Trey is having a tough time in Turkey.  He did fight hard in the challenge and clearly wants to win, he may not be ready this year.  If the aforementioned denouement is any indication (some of Frank’s talking points in the Afterbuzztv podcast and show may have hinted at this as well), Trey and Laura may be going home next week.

11. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 12 of 15

Although Robb with two “Bs” lost his chance to beat Dustin and Team Las Vegas and potentially flip the balance of power in the challenge, he at least seemed into the game this week and moves up one spot just for this reason.

12. Preston (Team New Orleans) Last week: 15 of 15

13. JD (Team Brooklyn) Last week: 11 of 15

14. Knight (Team New Orleans) Last week 13 of 15

Last week Devyn said that “J.D. is kind of creepy.”  This week, JD and Knight couldn’t beat each other wrestling.  As Jemmye says, Knight’s main intentions are about her, not about winning the money.   Yes, Jemmye, That is a lot to take in.  Preston even called the Knight vs. JD battle “a mess.”  Anytime Preston calls you out, you have to take a dive in these rankings.

ELIMINATED: Danny (Team Austin) Last week: 9/15

Biggest Rise: Frank (Team San Diego)

Biggest Fall: Tied – Brandon (Fresh Meat), Trey (St. Thomas)

THE WOMEN

1. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 15

I am little bit relieved because we’re not the power team and we don’t have to make the decision of who to send in.  This is the statement of a master player and moved Jonna to the top of the rankings.  She knows that winning the first challenge is one thing, but you don’t want the attention consistently on you too early.  She let San Diego have this week because she knew that her team was safe, but would benefit from letting them do the dirty work and make some enemies on their own.  If her budding Zach romance can remain in the cuddly honeymoon phase, it will be an asset going forward.

2. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 5 of 15

It was a quiet week for Jasmine (not a bad thing for Jasmine or her audience to have every once and a while) and she got body slammed by Ashley, yet she still deserved to move up three spots.  This blows my mind.

3. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 15

Although Sarah may have been behind the curve on the “forming of alliance” part of Challenge strategy (I will blame the fact that she has JD and Devyn on her team), she had a great moment during “Oil Change” when she galvanized the remaining teams against St. Thomas.  Sorry, Frank and co.  You may fool her once, but if next week’s trailer is any indication (her potential relationship with Alton could be a game changer), Sarah is not going to let you stay on top for too long.

4. Camila (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 2 of 15

Poor Camila.  For all she has going for her (and believe me, I would pick her against every girl in an elimination), there is a bit of a not-so-good duality that always seems to crop up.  Even in her victorious Exes run last season, there was one night when it all came loose and Johnny feared for his Challenge life.  This time around Camila pissed off Frank, which would not have been a bad thing, but for the fact that Frank was in control and threw her into a much too soon arena elimination.  I do wish that Camila had volunteered to go in (leaving it up to San Diego should have been her demise), but I credit her for at least acknowledging that “everyone is watching their own back” on Team Fresh Meat.  If you cross her, she will beat whatever is in front of her (Marie in a wrestling match and Danny and Melinda in the arena discovered this), but I fear this game may have even more to do with politicking than she knows how to handle.  Her first order of operation is to improve the dysfunction that is her team.

5. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 10 of 15

In this episode, Ashley body slammed Jasmine in the “Oil Change” challenge and her team won.  It also appears that she has fallen into line with both Frank and Zach and that this will certainly pay off.  She and Frank earned their large jumps in the rankings.

6. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 15

Her team won, but with Ashley stepping up, I am not sure where Sam is in all of this.  According to Frank in the aforementioned Afterbuzztv interview, her head (and face?) may be somewhere besides in the game.

7. Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 4 of 15

This was a tough week for Boston’s own Cara Maria and she definitely loses some standing for seeming to create some of Team Fresh Meat’s dynamic problems.  I did think she had the right attitude about the grovel session to San Diego.  “We are so experienced in this game and we are begging rookies to keep us.  I am not feeling this.”  Nor should you be.  Also, it seems like she lucked out when San Diego chose Camila to go into the arena when she said she was “not really good with balls.”  Yep.

8. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 9 of 15

Laura valiantly beat Melinda to save her team from the arena, but her linkage to Trey may be her ultimate demise (see: Trey section).

9. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 7 of 15

10. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 8 of 15

Trishelle and Nany are still waiting for their moment on this season (Nany losing a wrestling match to McKenzie was not such a moment).  From the preview for next week, it seems that Trishelle is not too pleased with a connection between Alton and Sarah.

11. Marie (Team St. Thomas) Last week: 12 of 15

“The bitch is strong, ok.”  Apparently Marie is a beast in the “Oil Change” wrestling ring.  Camila still took care of business.

12. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) Last week: 14 of 15

‘Kenzie beat Nany in a oily match to move her up a few spots, but her own words speak for themselves: “Everyone that knows me says that I am too nice to really be competitive.”  I trust those who know McKenzie.

13. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) Last week: 15 of 15

Devyn had an actual revelatory moment when she beat Melinda to stay alive, so ride that momentum, girl.

14. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) Last week: 13 of 15

Some things do not change: Jemmye is a hot mess when she is drunk.“Knight and I will get back together over my dead body.”  I don’t believe you.

ELIMINATED: Melinda (Team Austin) Last week: 11/15

Biggest Rise: Ashley (Team San Diego)

Biggest Fall: Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 3.25, last week: 4.25 (1)

CJ (3), Jonna (1), Jasmine (2), Derek (7)

They get even stronger by leaving their perch as the power team.  Well done, indeed.

2. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 5, last week: 8.5 (5)

Zach (4), Sam (6), Ashley (5), Frank (5)

This is a fantastic week for the new power team.  The Frank-led rebellion has begun.

3. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 5.5, last week: 4.5 (2)

Alton (1), Dustin (2), Trishelle (9), Nany (10)

It feels like we are still in the preseason for Team Las Vegas.  They have yet to be adequately tested.

4. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 7, last week: 5.75 (3)

Camila (4), Cara Maria (7), Brandon (9), Eric (8)

Frank calls Team Fresh Meat this season’s “most dysfunctional team” and wonders since “they don’t have any loyalties, why would they come together?”

5. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 8.75, last week: 8 (4)

Sarah (3), Chet (6), JD (13), Devyn (13)

Look for a comeback week from Team Brooklyn in episode 3.

6. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 10, last week: 10.25 (7)

Laura (8), Trey (10), Robb (11), Marie (11)

There are “the Rookies, The Vets, and then there is St. Thomas.”  Tough.

7. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 13, last week: 13.75 (8)

Knight (14), Jemmye (14), McKenzie (12), Preston (12)

Holding on for dear life is easy to do when you align correctly.  Well done.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

1. CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 2

2. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 2.5

3. Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4

T-6. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 4.5, Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5, Zach and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 4.5

T-9 Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5, Zach and Sam (Team San Diego) Average: 5, Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 5

3 teams tied at 12 Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5.5, Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5.5, Sam and Frank (Team San Diego) Average: 5.5

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Alton about Sarah: “I just feel like I have been waiting my whole life to meet you.”  Trishelle is concerned.
  • Marie is afraid of heights and “can’t even look down” at the challenge.
  • and Camila and Brandon have a huge blowout fight.  Watch out.

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.