Tag Archives: “The Challenge”

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Team Previews – Dunbar and Tyrie

July 6, 2013 David Bloom 4 Comments

This is the tenth in a series of “The Challenge: Rivals 2″ team previews that will lead into the first power rankings of the season. Next up: Johnny and Frank

DUNBAR and TYRIE

Where did we last see them? Both were last seen battling Exes (again, stretching the term) with Dunbar having a more successful run. Tyrie had some memorable “extracurricular nighttime activity” with Jasmine 1.0 (the wine glass tossing version).

The Rivalry: The opposite of CT and Wes, this is a literal non-rivalry and a complete surprise to Dunbar (watch his pre-interview – it seems like he was barely aware of Tyrie’s presence, let alone longstanding grudge).

Rivalry Meter on a scale of 1-10 (where 1 is a Leroy and Mike from Rivals I “Rivalry? They’re actually really good friends” rivalry and 10 is a Kenny and Wes from Rivals I “they have hated each other for years” RIVALRY) – 2 (although not because they are close, but because they literally have nothing to do with each other. Dunbar in the pre-interview: “I didn’t even know his last name!”), best Rivals I comparison: there is really no comparison – they are an entity all on their own

Highlights and Commentary from MTV bio:

“Imagine not even knowing why your rival had it in for you. That’s the situation Dunbar walked into when he arrived in Thailand.”

Imagine creating a construct for a television show teaming up rivals and then choosing people who have literally nothing to do with one another. That’s the situation the viewer will arrive in on Wednesday night.

“However, his partner Tyrie has a longer memory when it comes to the Challenge, explaining, ‘Our relationship goes back to The Island where Dunbar basically got cakewalked to a power position. Seeing him be successful right off the bat without necessarily having to earn anything, it rubbed me the wrong way.’”

Ok, let’s refresh. This rivalry doesn’t even exist, but, whatever kernel of tension that may exist dates back to The Island when Tyrie was jealous because Dunbar was a rookie and more successful than him? Really? I like Dunbar and he has certainly had his share of memorable The Challenge moments and successes and Tyrie, despite a mostly unsuccessful Challenge career, is worthy of another shot, but it takes away from the game to have some rivals be actual rivals juxtaposed with pairings like Dunbar and Tyrie.

“Can these two channel their competitive fire? Or is this time bomb doomed to detonate?”

I wouldn’t exactly call it a time bomb, but the point is taken. Dunbar and Tyrie will not be expected to win anything, but this could play to their advantage and perhaps they will have more in common than they knew to explore before on other Challenges.

Best-Case Scenario: An early clutch win in an elimination against a powerhouse gives them some momentum to have a chance to make the finals.

Worst-Case Scenario: With few viable teams to align with, they find themselves thrown in to an early elimination and lose.

The Verdict: I have now watched their pre-interview video several times and each time I do a better job convincing myself that this odd couple could be a potential dark horse. Their is something so bizarre about their pairing that just might work. I would not be surprised if they are out early (nor would Dunbar), but a successful run is not out of the question. They are both athletic, but as Dunbar points out, maybe not in the right ways for the challenges. In the interest of an unexpected underdog, I am rooting for Dunbar and Tyrie to surprise us all.

Watch the Dunbar and Tyrie pre-interviews here

Men Team Previews:

CT and Wes

Women Team Previews:

Anastasia and Jessica

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about MTV’s “The Challenge,” pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company. His weekly “The Challenge: Rivals 2” power rankings will begin the week of July 10.

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Team Previews – Jasmine and Theresa

July 4, 2013 David Bloom 5 Comments

This is the fifth in a series of “The Challenge: Rivals 2″ team previews that will lead into the first power rankings of the season. Next up: Jonna and Nany

JASMINE and THERESA

Where did we last see them? Theresa has been off the Challenge grid since Rivals and a calmed down version of Jasmine was last seen being a great Team Cancun member on Battle of the Seasons.

The Rivalry: Destined for a Rivals 2 partnership (and predicted by Jasmine at the time), Theresa and Jasmine came to original Rivals (Camila and Jonna respectively) defenses and had a classic “extracurricular nighttime activity” altercation highlighted by a battle between Jasmine’s fist and a mirror.

Highlights and Commentary from MTV bio:

“What could possibly fill a 90 lb. girl with so much rage that she put her hand through a mirror? Well, her name is “Theresa.” Jasmine recalls, “I just looked in the mirror and saw Theresa and just knocked it clean in one hit. If she keeps it up with me it might be her face this time.’”

This was a real The Challenge altercation (unlike some of the other fabricated ones this season – Sarah had to even step in to prevent Jasmine from going out the way of Adam Royer) and one of the most heated exchanges that have taken place between any of these Rivals 2 pairings.

“Although both claim to have mellowed and matured since nearly coming to blows, this feisty pair is still as combustible as fuel meeting flame.”

Notwithstanding, Jasmine was a different (refreshingly) person last season on Battle of the Seasons and deserved to stay longer (or so my last season’s power rankings often indicated). She was calm, collected, competitive, and cooperative. She supported her teammates, gave her all in challenges, and helped steer her team to a very strong showing (especially early in the season). There were even a few occasions in which Jasmine played a peacemaker role. Now, do I think she still has some leftover lighter fluid available within her? Probably, but I think this more experienced Jasmine is primed to succeed and will keep herself under control. Theresa was never the hottest of heads, but I always thought she did have a good sense of how to distinguish and separate herself from other Fresh Meat 2ers (not an easy task – does anyone remember Sydney or Sandy?). Her feistiness was more of a calculated act than an obvious character flaw. On Rivals 2, Jasmine and Theresa should be just fine.

“Jasmine arrives in Thailand reeling from her father’s death and is determined to win this Challenge in his memory while Theresa hopes to finally learn how to separate emotions from the game.”

First off, Theresa can separate emotions from the game, but more importantly, this is terribly sad news about Jasmine’s father (and mildly inappropriate for comment on MTV Bio writer land or this post). My heart goes out to her and I hope that another Challenge experience and the inevitably toxic environment that it creates will not be too detrimental to her grieving process.

Best-Case Scenario: Jasmine and Theresa could go far in this game with some shrewd gameplay and wise alliance making. A finals trip is not out of the question, but a win seems a bit of a reach.

Worst-Case Scenario: A bad showing in a challenge puts them in an early elimination against an overmatched opponent and they lose.

The Verdict: They are the female team that I am having the hardest time wrapping my head around. Theresa has been away a bit too long to figure out where she sits athletically against some of the stronger teams. Jasmine’s size has always been a bit of an issue (her wine glass throwing had been as well until a Battle of the Seasons turnaround) and I am not sure how well she can do against some of her strongest opponents. With that said, Jasmine and Theresa are just a little bit removed in the right ways, while still maintaining some strong connections. Ultimately, any finish for these two seems to be in play.

Watch the Jasmine and Theresa pre-interview here.

Other team previews:

Anastasia and Jessica

Aneesa and Diem

Camila and Jemmye

Cooke and Naomi

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Team Previews – Cooke and Naomi

July 4, 2013 David Bloom 2 Comments

This is the fourth in a series of “The Challenge: Rivals 2″ team previews that will lead into the first power rankings of the season. Next up: Jasmine and Theresa

COOKE and NAOMI

Where did we last see them? Although she gave it her all, Naomi did not have the most stellar of rookie campaigns (although endearing) on Battle of the Exes. Cooke has been off the screen and out of the non-obscure Southeast Asian women’s professional soccer fans radars since leaving Las Vegas.

The Rivalry: Let’s just say that Naomi was on the unwelcoming committee when Cooke came to Real World: Las Vegas (the second iteration) to replace the catastrophe that was the Adam Royer Experience. Naomi did some territorial ostracizing of Cooke, doing her best to keep her away from the other women of the house (Nany and Heather) and of her friend with bed benefits, Leroy. Some verbal battles ensued and they have stayed out of touch since.

Rivalry Meter on a scale of 1-10 (where 1 is a Leroy and Mike from Rivals I “Rivalry? They’re actually really good friends” rivalry and 10 is a Kenny and Wes from Rivals I “they have hated each other for years” RIVALRY) – 5 (but it must be taken with a grain of salt – like a rivalry between the Washington Wizards and Charlotte Bobcats, not too many people are pining to watch), best Rivals I comparison: Davis and Tyrie

Highlights and Commentary from MTV bio:

“One of the most physically mismatched teams in Rivals II, Cooke is a fitness fanatic who plays on the Philippine national soccer team, while New York City girl Naomi is one of the least athletic players in the game.”

This is the central storyline of this pairing and MTV Bio writers do not beat around this bush. Naomi seemed a little (understatement) out of place exerting physical energy on Exes and that was with the support of Challenge beast, Leroy.

“‘The girl can’t even run a mile. I could run 10. I’ll definitely need to have a lot of patience with Naomi and really help her to believe in herself,’ Cooke confesses.”

This will be Cooke’s charge. She must find a way to motivate and inspire Naomi to become a version of herself that was not thought possible.

“Can Cooke coach Naomi to a win? Or will this pair crumble under pressure?”

I wouldn’t exactly call it pressure. They will probably have the least amount of pressure (maybe some of Cooke’s Filipino teammates will feel differently) of any pair in this game. So, no. They will likely crumble under no pressure.

Best-Case Scenario: Naomi does something athletically unexpected, receives some universal praise, and gains some confidence, allowing them to stick around for a few extra weeks. Cooke has some time to pull out her inner Laurel and becomes a Challenge force against some of the other weaker female teams in the early weeks.

Worst-Case Scenario: They go home week one and Cooke does not pick up any future Challenge cred.

The Verdict: When sizing up her chances in their pre-interview (not to be missed by the way), Cooke says, “Basically, we’re screwed.” Pretty. Much.

Watch the Cooke and Naomi pre-interviews here.

Other team previews:

Anastasia and Jessica

Aneesa and Diem

Camila and Jemmye

Jasmine and Theresa

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

CHALLENGEMANIA: The Road to Rivals II – Winners, Losers, and Questions

June 27, 2013 David Bloom Leave a comment

To continue to tease our already overwhelming appetite for all things The Challenge in preparation for the July 10 season premiere of Rivals II (and to shamelessly cross-promote some shows called Girl Code and Guy Code that I admittedly had never heard of), MTV aired a one hour The Challenge part retrospective and part new season preview. Hosted by the modern MTV and Jersey royalty tandem of Challenge stalwart Kenny “Mr. Beautiful” Santucci and Nicole “Snooki? Now that I am half my original size, I go my Nicole now, bitches!” Polizzi, the hour was mostly an exercise in historically bad cue card reading (more on this in a bit), unnecessary opinions from Girl and Guy Code cast members that nobody asked for, and clips from MTV’s pre-HD past. Despite mostly “I wish I had fast forwarded over this” filler, there were some important takeaways, some charming former Challenge cast member commentary, and a second season preview scored to the fiery furor of Nico Vega’s “Fury Oh Fury.” Before we delve into brief analysis of matters of consequence, here are some quick take winners, losers, and questions posed by ChallengeMania: the Road to Rivals II.

Question: What happened to Snooki? Beyond her incredibly gaunt and emaciated appearance (she’s been working out apparently), the author and mother of one didn’t seem her usual “hot mess” of a self. Her affect felt flat, disengaged, and enigmatic. I never thought of Snooki as talented in any way beyond being a unique individual in a reality TV world of mostly personality repetition and replication, but now I know that acting or in any way improvising should not be a her next career move…ever. Poor Kenny struggled to get through her feeble attempts at banter and seemed so relieved when Paula Walnuts came on stage toward the end of the taping. I thought Snooki always had a degree (I am stretching a little bit here) of charisma and perhaps maybe a little charm on camera, but this Snooki .5 is a depressing figure.

Loser – Snooki, the cue card reader – Snooki should not be reading cue cards. Period.

Other lingering Snooki questions: Why does she seem so obsessed with Johanna? Does she really watch The Challenge? Where is her baby during the taping of this show? Is she serious when she says she is working out to be on a future Challenge? At this point, is Snooki a human?

Losers – The writers of all dialogue between Kenny and Snooki – Tough moment for MTV writers. If their aim was to make Kenny and Snooki sound as unnatural and fake as possible, mission accomplished. This was a disaster.

Winners – The viewer while watching classic clips – It brought great joy to loyal The Challenge fans to reminisce and recall classic moments and people from a wonderful, twenty three season history.

Question: With Evan, Kenny, and Tonya featured prominently in retrospective clips, did MTV have to run this by legal before airing? Since the settlement, Kenny and Evan have not been back on The Challenge. Was this a never made public part of this agreement? Why else would two all-time greats be kept off recent seasons?

Winners – Promos for the new season – Bananas is back! CT is back! Camila is unstable! If these teasers don’t get you pumped, nothing will.

Winners – The great fights retrospective – I vividly remember the genuinely scary CT and Adam melee (Isaac as an initial peacemaker may not have been the best call), but I had forgotten about the Wes and Evelyn room assault and the Katie battle with topless Veronica. Watching Evelyn stomp around and destroy plants while Wes tells Johnny he is the “worst person in the world” is priceless television.

Loser – The making out segment and the terrible elevator music that accompanies it – This was a few too many levels of awkward.

Loser – Brad’s wedgie meltdown – Poor Brad. Although he will be inducted into The Challenge hall of fame (although not on the first ballot), his wedgie reaction is not the best of looks.

Winner – The Miz – Only a WWE superstar can get away with a wedgie attack.

Winner – Sarah for her reaction to the Katie plunger meltdown – And otherwise for just being great. Her commentary interviews are spot on.

Loser/Winner – Katie and the plunger meltdown – She is a loser for having a meltdown over a plunger. She is a winner for finding a reason for a meltdown that seems to best match the great eccentricity of her persona on The Challenge.

Question: Why wasn’t a Katie/Veronica rival pairing included this season? Veronica may have Challenge retired, but who wouldn’t want to see these two classic enemies play again?

Winner – Entertainment for the viewer…seeing Camila walk into a pool again on her night of crazy. What is most remarkable to me is that Johnny and Camila won after this happens. Of all the things Johnny Bananas has accomplished on this show, recovering from Camila’s night at Arkham Asylum may be his greatest achievement.

Winner – Jessimae Peluso – I mostly tuned out the random members of the cast of Girl Code and Guy Code who were randomly asked to become Challenge experts, but Jessimae kept bringing it with her witty insight and playful crushing on CT. Some bio investigation garnered additional intel about her comedic beginnings in Boston (check), infatuation with John Stamos (check), and appearance on “The Tyra Banks Show” (check plus).

Winner – Paula walking us through a web of “Challenge Family Tree” connections – This was one of the more relevant (albeit unintentionally comedic) portions of the preview show. Finding threads (even loose ones) to piece through the participants was a win for production. Paula, unlike the little Snooki creature, can read a mean cue card and narrated this segment like a pro.

Winner – Whoever decided to call Wes a “self-proclaimed, political mastermind” – I like how with Wes, adding “self-proclaimed” to any description of him adds more authenticity. Wes – a self-proclaimed redhead. Wes – a self-proclaimed entrepreneur. Wes – a self-proclaimed intellectual.

Losers – Connections that don’t actually exist – Paula connected Aneesa and Robb in her “family tree” because they both live near Philadelphia.

Losers – Rivals that have never met – I am a proponent of twitter and all, but to partner Johnny and Frank as rivals because of a twitter feud? It may be a partnership that is great for gameplay, but it seems to take away from the sanctity of the construction of the season.

Winner – Kenny – He does professional work throughout, fending off the train wreck that is Snooki .5, maintaing great focus, managing several digs at Wes, and flooding the camera with his quintessential charisma and charm. Could Kenny be a viable replacement for the legend of TJ Lavin if he ever decides to retire the hosting throne?

Although Paula’s connecting of the dots (“And don’t forget the four members from the cast of Portland who are connected by being new!”) flimsily weaved a rival backstory, the real fresh meat is in the showing of the original Rivals II trailer (already Zaprudered here) and the final “this season on” teaser (the real “this season on” will undoubtedly be unveiled at the end of the season premiere). Here are a few key takeaways:

Anastasia seems to slap CT (not once, but twice – the second time in the back of the head) and then kick CT in the back of his legs. Bird never struck me as such a dangerous predator while in Portland, but I guess a certain amount of time in the eye of the Nia storm will ruffle anyone’s feathers. This is not the first time CT has been the object of someone’s uncontrollable aggression and it will certainly not be the last.
Speaking of fighting CT, it appears that Frank has a little run-in with him. No one is in the least bit surprised.
I eagerly anticipate the interplay and strategic game manipulation of the Johnny and Frank tandem. Maybe not the most real of rivalries, seeing them work together could be a treat of “Kenny carrying Wes on his back” proportions.
I can’t help myself but to kiss and tell. Jordan and Sarah? CT and almost Cooke? Leroy and Emily? Jonna and almost Jordan? CT and Diem!

We are now less than two weeks away from The Challenge: Rivals II premiere (Wednesday, July 10 at 10/9c. You won’t believe your eyes!). I will be dropping a preview column and preseason power rankings before then, so stay tuned. Until then, let me leave you with the final cue card reading improvisation catastrophe of Snooki: “Holy crap, the rivalries just keep getting more and more intense. I’m obsessed. Bye, we love you.” Yep, thank you Nicole.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about The Challenge, pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company.

"The Challenge", Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Trailer – A Zapruder Analysis

June 8, 2013 David Bloom Leave a comment

A few days ago, MTV released the trailer for the 24th season of The Challenge on mtv.com. In this second iteration of the Rivals format, eight male partner teams and eight female partner teams compete against each other in what is now commonly referred to as the fifth major American professional sport. Mysteriously, the mtv.com trailer has been taken down and subsequent versions on other websites have been pulled as well (it is quite possible that sometime in the run of this post, the bootleg and unfortunately low-quality youtube version that I found will also be redacted). In a race against the clock of destruction (or until mtv eventually reposts – UPDATE: MTV reposted), I wanted to provide my frame by frame analysis (a Zapruder treatment so to speak) of the two minute run-time of this historical piece of footage.

0:01 – The opening shot is eerily reminiscent of the classic helicopter shot going over Isla Nublar in Jurassic Park. Any time The Challenge makes you think about Jurassic Park, this must be a good thing.

0:05 – TJ begins his voice0ver with “I want you guys to picture a very large sum of money…money so big, it could change your life forever.” This is the kind of sum that warrants foreboding underscoring.

0:09 – In some very expected news, Tyrie (according to the back of helmet name tag) appears to be in an elimination. The Tyrie/Dunbar pairing could be prdouction’s attempt to make this ultra-dramatic, hyper intense Challenge viewing experience just a little more comedic. Has there ever been a combination in these past 24 seasons that has less of a chance of winning?

0:22 – TJ continues: “What if that one person is your worst enemy?” – This second rodeo of this premise (Rivals was particularly enjoyable – especially Wes and Kenny’s implosion in the finale) is a wonderful conceit on the surface, but if you look a little closer at the actual pairings, in almost every case, “rival” is a lot a bit of an overstatement. Johnny and Frank’s entire relationship up until now has been a twitter back and forth. I have watched every second of Marlon and Jordan on Real World Portland, and besides some extreme competitiveness from Jordan in the Dustin Real World Las Vegas mold, I would hardly call their relationship a battle between two enemies. There may be some strained blood here and there among most of these pairing, but enemies? I am afraid not. The one glaring exception is Team Wes and CT whose potential for greatness (in a great reality TV kind of way) more than makes up for an otherwise loose interpretation of the word “rival.”

0:28 – Zach’s voiceover: “I hate this kid…I hate the ground he walks on.” Is he referring to partner Trey, or, more likely, is he referring to Wes? Wes has faced quite a few “I hate this kids” in his long Challenge career.

0:37 – The “TRUST NO ONE BUT YOUR WORST ENEMY” mashup is apparently directed by the great master of frenetic cutting himself, Baz Luhrmann (see: all of his movies). I have to hand it to production though – if you have a shaky premise, you might as well present it in this “the world is ending/impending doom” fashion. It is admittedly effective.

0:41 – Bird tells us that “some of these people here are like absolutely pure evil.” After this past week’s Real World in which Hurricane Nia attempts murder with a hair dryer, she should know. On another note, I can not foresee The Challenge and Jessica being a successful pairing. It’s just a hunch.

0:44 – Emily tells us that this game is going to get “so nasty.” Is she referring to the kind of nasty of her blackface incident from Exes? Too soon?

0:47 – People are “looking for love wherever they can get it” and apparently for Sarah, this is with Jordan. With full comprehension that Challenge love teases are almost always grossly exaggerated, I strangely dig this possibility.

0:53 – “All is fair in love, war, and Challenges.” Welcome back, Johnny Bananas!

0:55 – Diem trusts Wes more than she trusts CT. It is like preferring to put your hand in an open flame versus in a pot of boiling water. They are both going to leave you burned.

0:57 – CT is “being nice” but Diem’s “not playing fair.” The Challenge legend may have a point. This gentler version of CT has been alive and well over the past few Challenges and is a far cry from the monster that broke Diem’s heart or Johnny’s will here:

1:00 – We are one minute into the trailer and we have our first sight of Paula crying! In fairness, in a brief size-up of the female teams, despite emotional roller coaster riding, I am not sure who beats Paula and Emily.

1:04 – There is some water poured, heads butted, arms swung, and barrels thrown. This is par for the Challenge course, but, after the aforementioned Hurricane Nia maelstrom on The Real World this week, it all seems so tame.

1:11 – “Welcome to the scariest elimination round we have ever had.” Not one to emphatically hyperbolize, TJ means business. In the trailer’s second clear (only in my mind) allusion to Jurassic Park, the electric cables and caging reminds me of a raptor paddock. Safety is not guaranteed.

1:21 – Cooke (a strong addition to this franchise – it never hurts to have a professional athlete competing) tells us that “good people in this game do not get far.” Did you forget about Sarah making it to last year’s finals?

1:26 – This shot of Marlon working out and companion voiceover of “You wanna get me up out of here, you’re gonna have to kick my ass” speaks to some shotgun preseason analysis – Marlon and Jordan, if they can figure out the social game and align with the right power players, are going to be a formidable rookie combination. Both are elite athletes, super competitive, and seem to compliment each others strengths. They are a team to watch out for.

1:34 – In an even deeper confirmation of his godfather role in this game, Johnny lays it straight with Knight: “You have got yourself linked up a a sinking ship, dude.” Is he talking about partner Preston? Old flame Jemmye? Sage Aunt figure Trishelle? This is followed by a shot of Knight engaging in some extracurricular activity of the physical fighting kind. There may not be too much to read into all of this, but I hope that Knight has been pulled under Johnny’s strategic organization. He showed some game mastermind promise on Battle of the Seasons that was extinguished too soon in the fiery remains of a team featuring Preston and Mackenzie. Knight deserves another go round.

1:39 – What a pleasure it is to see old enemies, Aneesa and Trishelle, still going at it, now a full decade later. Aneesa’s nomination for best line of the trailer (“You are the Tra-shelle you were and you are always going to be trash”) is followed by a push “punch” to Trishelle’s face. You can begin to feel the momentum of the July 10 season premiere.

1:43 – What The Challenge trailer would be complete without some time devoted to Frank yelling? “Let him shake!” Oh, don’t worry. We will.

1:44 – A new rule to live by – Any time The Challenge incorporates a light saber battle into the festivities, it is a good thing.

1:48 – Does Bird just slap CT in the face? Welcome to the big leagues Real World: Portland!

1:50 – These fleeting images of the challenges within The Challenge show shot after shot of people falling in water. People falling in water is kind of a win.

1:53 – The trailer ends with Zach yelling, “I want who’s next!” and then cuts to the show titles (set against an unexpected purple misty swirl). If this ending montage doesn’t encourage excitement and anticipation, you may need to reevaluate your own understanding of dramatic tension.

My season preview column will be out later this month. The Challenge: Rivals 2 debuts on MTV on July 10, 2013 at 10:00 PM EST.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.

Blog Posts, Television

The Television DVR Power Rankings (First Annual)

May 15, 2013 David Bloom Leave a comment

I recently read two pieces that evoked some interesting ideas about the nature of our TV viewing. Andy Greenwald, Grantland.com’s television and pop culture sensei, addressed an interesting television loyalty conundrum in his most recent mailbag column that is particularly relevant as many of us, including myself, have begrudgingly plodded most of our way to The Office series finale this week. When is the right time to bid adieu to an old television relationship when we know that the show (and subsequently our loyal connection to its characters, host, or competition format) is no longer the same program that we originally fell for? Why are some necessary show breakups so easy to make (American Idol when Simon left, 90210 without Brandon Walsh) while others (season five of Alias) pose such a struggle? Alan Sepinwall, the author of The Revolution Was Televised and the most prolific of television recap pioneers, discussed how the wealth of great TV has made it harder for him to keep up with the good TV (particularly on the broadcast networks) and that many quality programs are left idle on a DVR queue.

Both Greenwald and Sepinwall highlight a burgeoning issue that these record/stream/on demand times that we now live in have created: there is just so much television viewing bandwidth that each of us has (both in terms of time and number of different storylines we can follow) and with the DVR as our tool of television viewing stratification, we have complete control over what and how we prioritize. We are the masters of our viewing lives which means that with a close to infinite amount of time, a CBS procedural (pick any one really) could be a compelling viewing choice, but with a more limited amount of time and attention, not everything can make it out of the innards of our DVR storage attic.

With all of this in mind, I have decided to create the first annual (here’s to trying!) Television DVR Power Rankings. Appropriately timed to coalesce with the end of the broadcast television season, the Television DVR Power Rankings will finally ask me to organize and identify the why behind the already somewhat established what that is my television viewing.

Here are the ground rules:

You are hypothetically given one television seating. What would you watch? This takes into account the following numerous show length differences – half hour (closer to twenty two minutes) or hour on network, half hour (closer to an actual thirty minutes) or hour on pay cable (closer to an actual hour), SNL’s ninety minute run that includes lots of commercials and even more moments to fast forward (musical guests, sketches that lead to nowhere), bloated (and sadly standard) two hour episodes of Celebrity Apprentice or singing competitions, and the perfectly timed close to ninety minute romp that is the brilliant Sherlock.
If The Bachelor is ranked 17 and Person of Interest is ranked 16, it means that if you only had one television viewing, you would choose to watch the best episode of Person of Interest over the best episode of The Bachelor.
The Lost Corollary: You are comparing the best edition of each show this year. Although Lost had some episodes that made me yearn for amnesia (I am looking at you the awful Jack gets a tattoo episode featuring Bai Ling), the six season finales were always prolific. Take the best version of each show as your point of comparison.
Sports and news programs are not included in these rankings. I am not considering Real Time with Bill Maher and The Daily Show with John Stewart news programs even if I admittedly go to them for news.
When applicable, actual DVR activity is important. If a show rarely lasts longer than twenty-four hours on my queue, this leads to a higher ranking. If I have a back log of eight unwatched episodes on my queue (tough moment Person of Interest), this is not a good thing.
The external media and social repercussions of delayed viewing matter. For example, if I have to wait a week before I can listen to a Hollywood Prospectus podcast on the Grantland Pop Culture Network because I am two weeks behind on Mad Men, this is significant. If I have to avoid twitter or the internet until I have finished a show, this makes a difference. The blogosphere couldn’t care less about what went down on a random episode of Shark Tank, whereas if you go to work on Monday morning having missed the previous night’s Game of Thrones, you better plan to bring water from home because the metaphoric cooler is off limits (spoiler alert indeed).
For the purposes of this ranking, the TV season is June – May (allowing for shows like Breaking Bad from last summer to be included).
I must have DVRed or watched (note: this is not how many viewings I had) at least two episodes to be included in the rankings.
Shows released through streaming services (House of Cards) or watched through streaming services (HBO GO) are included as long as the episodes were new within the given year. Girls and Top of the Lake count, whereas my re-viewing of Battlestar Galactica and Alias on Netflix do not.

Now, before Don Draper’s season six self can upset my wife more than he already has, on to the rankings…

NOT RANKED:

American Idol

When Simon left American Idol, I left with him (although when Philip Phillips’ “Home” won this year’s “Clocks” by Coldplay award for Song Most Overplayed in a Given Year, it was difficult to keep my distance). I do miss the five months I used to spend every season with Ryan Seacrest in my life (and to my discredit, he is not that hard to find pretty much everywhere now if I put in a little effort), but based on all media reports, I jumped a sinking ship just at the right time. What an embarrassment it appears to have become.

Homeland

Showtime and I seem to have difficulty matching our calendars. I always seem to have three free months when Homeland is off the air. I have seen season 1 over the course of a binge weekend viewing last May, but have not yet ventured into the apparently scary and sophomore slumped season 2.

37. Zero Hour

36. The Last Resort

It has been a tough time for ABC in the Thursday night 8:00 PM slot. The Last Resort lasted a hot few seconds this fall and Zero Hour a shorter hot second this spring. I deleted them from my queue when ABC bid adieu with some episodes left unwatched. My hope for Anthony Edwards (er) and Andre Braugher (Homicide: Life on the Street) to make a return to my TV viewing regimen after so many years away was quickly capsized.

35. Revolution

34. Hannibal

I tried Revolution because I am a devoted follower of the J.J. Abrams Television factory (see Lost, Alias), but the long hiatus dried up my interest such that by the time it came back in March, I questioned my general enjoyment (very little) of the show in the first place. Hannibal, recommended by TV men I trust (Sepinwall and Greenwald), got one viewing out of me before I deleted it from the queue last week after having forgotten to record a recent episode. I considered when I was going to make time to catch up, I realized that I probably wouldn’t. Ouch. It will probably get cancelled anyway because NBC apparently has no idea how to market its few quality shows.

33. The Amazing Race

The Amazing Race is one of the best examples of the perils of TV viewing bandwidth. Although I don’t agree with all the Emmy love in the reality competition program category (Survivor is consistently looked over for even a nomination), The Amazing Race is a well-produced, occasionally compelling, beautifully shot, and very easy to watch (let’s just say it does not require Games of Thrones-like focus) hour of television. Unfortunately, often delayed by NFL football game duration ripple effects on Sunday nights in the fall, if I don’t prepare by recording into The Good Wife at 9:00 PM just in case one too many instant replays in a 4:00 PM Chargers game in Denver forces 60 Minutes to begin after 7:00 PM, I am missing portions of episodes. Once I miss portions of episodes and don’t feel compelled to catch up on-line, I lose interest. This has probably happened to me at least five times by now. If I lose interest in the fall, I rarely come back to the new season in the spring (as was this case this year). The Amazing Race is a fine show that makes itself too easy to miss. Good or bad, you don’t want to be a show that breeds apathy.

32. Bates Motel

Carlton Cuse was one of the two Lost showrunners and Vera Farmiga has always been enjoyable on screen, so I thought I would give Bates Motel a go when it debuted in March. It is now mid May and I have yet to watch even one shot of one episode. On the plus side, I do not have a season pass and have yet to fail to record an episode (all eight are sitting idle in my queue), so there’s that. If I need more DVR space, it is the first thing to go.

31. The Following

Back in January, I began writing weekly recaps of The Following. Back in March, I stopped writing weekly recaps of The Following because I did not enjoy writing recaps of The Following. I did not enjoy writing recaps of The Following because I did not enjoy watching The Following. I did not enjoy watching The Following because the The Following is a bad show. I have five episodes to go to complete the season and I have many times sat down to take the plunge, only to choose to re-watch season 1 and 2 of Game of Thrones instead. If The Following somehow disappeared from my queue, my response would be, “finally.”

30. Shark Tank

My relationship with Shark Tank is a masterclass in negligence. It certainly interests me when I am watching and I sometimes will choose to watch a segment when I have ten minutes to kill, but often this season (and it has been a long one that likely cost the Mavs Deron Williams and his great attitude last offseason) I have randomly deleted unwatched episodes to make more room on my queue. This is not the best of signs.

29. The Killing

Season 2 of The Killing was an exercise in the dreariest and most frustrating forms of futility. The promise of the premise and those first few episodes of season 1 were long forgotten by the end of this rainy nightmare. I kept watching because once you invest in a mystery, you feel compelled to be there for the eventual solve. Unfortunately, the implausible outcome of the Sarah Larson case was so far from worth it. Amazingly brought back for a third season (and a new mystery), I will give the program a second go for two episodes (my belief in the premise and Joel Kinnaman are the only reasons), but I expect a swift departure.

28. Bachelor Pad

Not returning this summer (a small disappointment), Bachelor Pad was an easy summer fill-in when more traditional reality TV programs were between seasons. As a competition show, it is not too quality. As a dating show, it even more of a tough sell as a means to find love than its major league precursors of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Notwithstanding, it kept my interest, had a buzzworthy finale, and was a perfect place for Tierra from this season’s The Bachelor to extend her fifteen minutes. It’s too bad.

27. Person of Interest

Of all shows in the rankings, Person of Interest is most influenced by its only loose flirtations with serialized storytelling (it is as procedural a drama as I watch) and the lack of any form of media attention. If I am behind on an episode (right now the number is eight), there is no external repercussion. I have never met anyone who watches Person of Interest, never read a weekly recap, and never seen anything about it on-line besides an occasional EW check-in review. I find it to be a compelling, well-conceived hour of television with enjoyable actors (Michael Emerson and Jim Caviezel) playing enjoyable superhero archetypes in a realistic world, but I just don’t have time in my weekly grind to make time for it. When I do get around to watching it (last year I caught up with season 1 sometime in the fall), I will enjoy myself, but until then, may the queue hold its contents strong.

26. The Mindy Project

If you haven’t been a part of the wonderful world of Mindy Kaling, the time is whenever you have it. The Mindy Project consistently delivers (although I like parts of episodes more than episodes as a whole), but rarely stands out as a viewing priority. I often find myself one or two weeks behind. In a world next season without 30 Rock and The Office, The Mindy Project may take a higher place on these rankings, but until that time, there is no rush to view (Ironically, tonight is the season finale. I will probably get around to it after the NBA Playoffs are over in June).

25. Elementary

Elementary has had a bright freshmen season. It benefits from Jonny Lee Miller’s striking charisma, epic hiatuses between each Sherlock series that prevent Arthur Conan Doyle character over-saturation, and well-constructed little mysteries of the week. Procedural at its core, it does not shy away from serialized character development. Both Joan Watson and Sherlock have undergone some effective narrative arcs that make watching it more time sensitive than its CBS procedural brethren. It is one of the first dramas I get to when Sunday nights on HBO and AMC are in their dark periods.

24. The X Factor

Since The X Factor last aired its overblown self in December, Simon Cowell’s producer brain trust said goodbye to LA Reid (his choice), Khloe Kardashian as co-host (she gave it her best effort, but just wasn’t any good), and Britney Spears (an “amazing” train wreck of a judge). Simon, Mario Lopez, and Demi Lovato are coming back (her new self-titled album out today!) and will all have another upward battle to relevance in an audience landscape that has grown weary of all the talent competition programs. I am rooting for The X Factor because I believe in Simon and have for so many years, but I would not be surprised that sometime in the next twelve months, Fox (on their schedule) or I (on my DVR) delete this program from our lives.

23. Modern Family

22. 30 Rock

21. Parks and Recreation

30 Rock has aired its last episodes, and, unlike The Office (until recently at least), gave its loyal viewers a wonderful final season. I had been with 30 Rock since the beginning and was emotional about its ending (December’s series finale remains on my queue). Despite my consistent enjoyment of almost every episode, it never found its way closer to the hypothetical top of past DVR rankings because it shied away from serialization and too much sentimentality (I am a sucker) and it promoted zany and unrealistic circumstances. The low ranking also speaks to my taste in comedy (questionable) more than to the quality execution of Tina Fey’s television darling (consistently brilliant). Parks and Recreation has been my pound for pound favorite comedy over the past two seasons (since Michael left The Office) and watching an episode is like the television version of eating a piece of vanilla cake – delicious. It will likely be the highest ranked scripted comedy I watch next season. Modern Family has posed a viewing conundrum recently. I have begun to be in the camp that there are just so many happy family stories a show can yield, and, often (and appropriately) devoid of any high stakes consequences (when Hayley got kicked out of college it was a little too much “no big deal” for me), I have become less and less compelled to watch. If I were told that this week’s Modern Family was its last, I would be fine with that. This doesn’t mean that I am going to stop watching and enjoying each episode, it just means that it no longer feels as essential to my television viewing experience.

20. The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead is the biggest beneficiary of number six of the ground rules. I enjoy being a part of The Walking Dead experience more than I enjoy watching The Walking Dead (at least since season 1). Besides Hershel, Maggie, and Daryl, I am not sure I even like any of the other characters on the show and Rick may be the all-time worst lead character I have ever watched consistently on a television program (his long speech scenes are just horrendous). The Walking Dead also benefits from one of the best tension catching theme songs I have ever heard (er was pretty wonderful) that pulls you in after the three minutes prologue of each episode into a false belief that you will have a reason to care again. To its credit, writers have killed off several of the most horrific characters, so there is hope yet for Rick!

19. Sherlock

Sherlock may produce the best 86 minutes of any program on this list, but it is on so infrequently and for so little time (each series is three episodes of this length), it is hard to place it up higher with the big boys.

18. House of Cards

I binged on House of Cards over the course of three days in March. Although I remember little from the experience besides how much I loved Corey Stoll’s portrayal of a charismatic congressmen with a few too many demons, I recognize that if I were watching weekly, it would be competing closer to the top of these rankings. It is quality programming (led my David Fincher’s visionary directorial lead) that always begged me to keep going.

17. Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad is probably one of the five best shows I have ever seen on television and Bryan Cranston gives the best of acting performances, yet of the shows ranked so high, it is the program I like the least. Spending five seasons with Walter White has been an exercise in lowering expectations and the devolving of the humanity and integrity of an American family. Void of any really redeeming characters, I find it hard to enjoy a program in which I have no one to root for.

16. The Bachelor

Influenced by wonderful weekly conversations between Juliet Litman and David Jacoby and propelled by a fun stay at the Bachelor Pad last summer, I decided to hop on to the ABC ratings juggernaut this fall. Although I am aware that The Bachelor’s track record for maintaining post show love is an unquestionable failure, I found Sean Lowe’s journey to find a wife candidate genuine and heartfelt. It is so well-produced and sensitive to the viewers emotional leanings that the buy-in happens almost immediately. This season, in particular, benefitted from the experience that was Tierra (and, like Survivor, a season can be judged on the quality of contestants), but I do think the format and execution are some of the best you will find in the reality TV world.

15. The Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars

I have been threatening to fire myself from the boardroom for several seasons now, but, like The Amazing Race, it is easy to whip out the old series pass manager, but, unlike The Amazing Race, the spring season on NBC that The Celebrity Apprentice inhabits does not compete with NFL games for schedule time sanctity. An admitted guilty pleasure (sometimes at least), Donald will often remind the viewer that The Apprentice was once (according to some metrics, it is a little like the three scientists who say global warming is a hoax) the most watched show on television and the creative project/boardroom format still provides some evidence why. I do not like Donald Trump, I struggle with his sons Erik and Don Jr. (Ivanka is wonderful), and I rarely have a “celebrity” that I care about, but the tasks remain somewhat interesting (albeit obnoxiously self-promotional), Gary Busey is an unsolvable riddle of a man that I still want to solve, and a weekly elimination of past seasons all-stars (all of which I watched before) still breeds my attention. Do I wish that I my relationship with The Celebrity Apprentice had been terminated many years ago? Absolutely, I just want someone else to tell me “you’re fired.”

14. Real Time with Bill Maher

A recent add-on to the queue since Dad’s HBO Go account became an actualization with my Apple TV, Real Time could be ranked higher if it showed up for watching at a consistent time (it is always sometime after Friday and before Tuesday) or at least closer to the original Friday night airing. There is no hour of television in which I learn more and think more. Bill Maher has been a part of my television life since his Politically Incorrect days on Comedy Central and I am grateful that I can finally watch him again (I was consuming his program via podcast for the last several years).

13. Top of the Lake

Elisabeth Moss is a detective in the New Zealand outback solving a mystery as told through the lush, beautiful, and unique lens of Jane Campion. Yes, please. Top of the Lake was everything The Killing was not (good?). Only six total hours of a story that has a beginning, middle, and logical end, Top of the Lake was one of the best things I saw this year. Now Netflix streamable, I highly recommend.

12. Mad Men

Mad Men is a layered, engrossing, and provocative television masterpiece. A little late to the game (I binged on the first three seasons via the Netflix), I have subsequently happily awaited the each season of ten Sunday nights of shows over the course of the past three years (season 6 has a handful of episodes left to air) that I have watched “live.” I was legitimately concerned in 2010 upon completion of The Wire that I would struggle to find another television show of equal quality, and, although very different in scope and texture, Mad Men is certainly in the conversation for the best television I have ever watched. At the same time, something has felt a little bit different this year. Next to Game of Thrones (not by network, but by consecutive time slot), I find myself yearning for the power players of Westeros much more than for the power players of Madison Avenue. I think it may be a matter of stakes – Don’s escapades and his new (but tired) path down extramarital affair land has never felt so superfluous, especially with the assassinations of Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy framing the significant historical context. Mad Men is still Mad Men, I just care a little differently.

11. The Americans

The Americans, the freshmen period drama on FX set in 1981 about two KGB spies playing a deep cover game of house with two children, is the best new drama of the past two seasons (this includes Homeland). Keri Russell’s Elizabeth Jennings is one of the finest performances of the year and Matthew Rhys, as her husband Phillip, matches her scene for scene. It is largely character driven and utilizes period authenticity as a backdrop, not as a leading concept (as many replica period shows after Mad Men have tried). The spy stuff is so much more fun without the modern technology that provides us with constant connectivity. Dead drops under park benches, listening devices in shelf clocks, and good old-fashioned hair disguises create a different (and I would argue better) type of suspense.

10. Saturday Night Live

9. The Daily Show with John Stewart

I occasionally watch SNL or The Daily Show live, but most of the time, it will be my ritualized first order on the agenda (over breakfast) the next morning. SNL is an institution of American television that I freely admit in 2013 delivers less and less frequently. There is rarely a bit or a sketch that compares favorably to the writing on 30 Rock (or The Daily Show for that matter), but like a sports team that I have followed for most of my life, I am loyal and as long as Lorne Michaels is the Executive Producer (and my DVR is working properly), I won’t jump ship. Its mythology and esteem so immersed in a nostalgic history, it fits so well with my sensibility. I am more into how this cast or this sketch fits into the bigger historical picture than with my general enjoyment thereof. Today’s announcement that this week’s season finale will be Bill Hader’s last as a member of the cast is just another inevitable departure on a cast (but probably more like a sports roster) that is as much about who is leaving as who is arriving. I really enjoy Bill Hader as an impressionist and as versatile leading player and he will certainly be missed, but like his Studio 8H forerunners, there will be another new talent to come in and fill his shoes. The Daily Show with John Stewart continues to be one of my favorite sources for news commentary, although I think it has gone through some growing pains in recent years with fewer correspondent stories (a staple during its heyday with Carell, Colbert, and Helms) and more repetitive bits. I continue to marvel at the writing staff who manage to put out mostly brilliant work four times a week and to John Stewart for evolving and continually upping his game (and for his ability to read some very long books over the course of a three day weekend). His brief hiatus from the hosting chair (John Oliver is the perfect fill-in choice) this summer will be an intriguing precursor to the day when The Daily Show and John Stewart part ways. We will get to see how much of our of The Daily Show enjoyment is about its phenomenal host.

8. The Office

This week, The Office has its series finale episode and for much of this season (really only until the last two episodes), it couldn’t have come soon enough. I have been with the Scranton Dunder Mifflin branch since it began and I freely admit the show has been a challenge to watch since Steve Carell left two seasons ago. As explored in Andy Greenwald’s aforementioned column, when is the right time to leave a show that is no longer making the show you fell in love with? There were many times over the past two seasons when I just wanted to have an excuse to leave, but I was never able to find one. What became even more peculiar was my viewing tendency. I would, despite my increasingly negative feelings toward the show, choose to watch The Office first on Thursday night (over the much better at this stage in their career Parks and Recreation and whatever dramas on CBS that were recording). The Office remained my go-to program and despite my acknowledgment of decreasing returns, I never strayed from it. While watching last week’s penultimate episode that coalesces perfectly around the central romantic relationships between Jim and Pam and Dwight and Angela, it struck me why leaving a show is so hard. I not only cared about these people and was deeply invested in their lives, but I cared about how that investment had affected my life. This is why TV is such a wonderful medium – we are given the luxury of time to spend with characters or hosts or valued competition formats over the course of many years. These shows are given the opportunity to become so deeply imbedded and connected to substantial periods of our lives. I thought about my personal journey in conjunction with Jim and Pam’s journey and remembered the unbelievable changes that have occurred in my life (specifically romantic life) as I have watched Jim’s unrequited flirtation form into the most genuine, beautiful, more recently difficult, but always honest of fictional romances that I will ever have the pleasure to watch in any storytelling medium. If Party of Five was a show that I watched as I was coming of age as an adolescent and will be forever linked to that time, The Office has been a show that has accompanied some massive transformations in my young adult life. I have such rich memories of past seasons and my external circumstances that surrounded them. The Office series end will really mark the end of this era of my life and what a ride it has been.

7. The Real World: Portland and St. Thomas

Despite the island of boredom that was The Real World: St. Thomas, Portland has more than made up for it with Hurricane Nia force winds of drama. A loyal viewer since 1995 (this is hard for me to even believe), The Real World remains my first reality TV love and continues to deliver compelling television. In a similar vein to SNL, my Real World love lives in nostalgia and history. Each new season adds on to that legacy and, at this point, I will be a viewer as long as it continues.

6. Girls

At close to thirty minutes of universal quality, Girls packs so much into each installment and may be the best bang for your buck at an incredible television seating. I do question how long it has to be sensational – season 2 was a different kind of fun than season 1 (in a melancholic, depressing, and obsessive compulsive kind of way) and I do wonder if there is a point where watching Hannah and her friends struggle so much to find happiness will be just too much to endure.

5. Funny or Die presents: Billy on the Street

Billy on the Street wins both the award for show that I audibly laughed at the most (beating 30 Rock by a wide margin) and was in the top three for shows that I most often watched live (along with Survivor and The Challenge). Here are some tangible examples why:

4. The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons

Much has been written about The Challenge on this space (see my weekly power rankings from Battle of the Seasons and my column with picks for an all-star season), so I won’t beleaguer too much more of the same here. One thing I will say – I am consistently more excited for both the season premiere and the season finale of The Challenge than of any other show in these rankings.

3. Game of Thrones

In the grand tradition of Lost (more on this in a bit), Game of Thrones has become my favorite dramatic series on television. Also like Lost and pertinent to these rankings, I am put at a decided and unwelcome social disadvantage if I step out in public on a Monday morning without having viewed the previous evening’s Game of Thrones episode. Game of Thrones is the social television of the moment and it is a pleasure to be a part of it. In addition, despite its fantasy book roots, GoT reminds me of all that was great about The Wire. Its’ expansive patchwork of characters, social classes, and objectives takes a certain type of viewing focus to fully understand. I certainly struggle at times to make sense of it all (I have decided to not read the books concurrently – I want to experience the show without a narrative comparison), but when earned, the rewards are that much greater. It also boasts the best television show opening ever.

2. Survivor

(SPOILER ALERT) When Cochran won the twenty-sixth season of Survivor in a landslide jury vote last Sunday night, I found myself having a tremendous amount of pride. Like Cochran, my Survivor journey began thirteen years ago with the season finale of season 1 (I will always remember the experience watching with my parents in a CT hotel room the night before I moved into my freshmen year college dorm) and I was sincerely happy for this seemingly like-minded devoted follower. Cochran’s fandom and his unlikely transformation and ascension to the Survivor crown represent the best of what Survivor can be. Its successful longevity is a byproduct of many things, but none more important than the perfect blend of an excellent game format and an excellent host in Jeff Probst. Interestingly enough, Sunday’s finale went head to head with both Game of Thrones and Mad Men and it was a no-brainer to choose to watch Survivor first. Originally to avoid print, internet, and television spoilers, I began watching Survivor the night that it airs and as close to live as possible. Now, largely removed from the greater pop culture conversation, I watch Survivor first because it remains the most reliable, consistent, comforting, and entertaining hour of television. Some casts work better than others, but the journey through tribal council spokens and immunity and reward challenges as participants try to outwit, outplay, and eventually outlast one another has proven to be the most successful of formulas.

1. Lost (an emeritus selection)

Lost, my favorite show of all-time, still sits on top of my series priority manager (in case of a conflict) on my DVR and, after almost three years since the series finale, it is going nowhere. The First Annual DVR Power Rankings would not be complete without Lost ranked first.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.

"The Challenge", Television

CHALLENGE 24: Picking an All-Star Season

February 16, 2013 David Bloom Leave a comment

It’s happened. Sometime earlier in the week, MTV (through their MTV remote control blog – clever name network formally known for music videos) formally acknowledged what has been known to us legion of devoted fans for some time: The Challenge is the fifth major American professional sport (sorry NASCAR wannabes) and it is time for a professional all-star game season voted on by the fans. That’s right: the participants on the 24th season of The Challenge (they make it seem like “Challenge 24” may never “see the light of day,” but on a network that can produce several too many Teen Mom iterations, who are they kidding?) are going to be chosen by (or at least influenced by) who takes the time to go and vote. This unprecedented move is a complete first for this form of reality tv competition program (if you can even call it that, The Challenge is so much more) and represents an incredible opportunity to have a say in who we want to watch.

In the spirit of honoring its rightful place in the professional sport fraternity, how twitter can and will be a major factor in this voting process, and the whole “Challenge 24” motif, I have decided to select the participants for this All-Star game season like the NBA (whose All-Star game is appropriately this weekend). In the NBA All-Star process, there are twelve players for each conference: the five starters are voted on by the fans and the remaining seven participants are selected by a vote of the coaches. In my mock The Challenge All-Star season formatting, I will choose twelve men and twelve women, the five “starters” will be the top five current vote getters in the most up to date polls remote control blog polls, and the seven remaining players will be chosen by me (a group of coaches I cannot find). Like the NBA voting process, not every viable participant is included in the ballot. Therefore, I will choose one additional “coaches pick” for both the men and women from an incredible group of past participants not included in the twenty names that MTV has provided.

Before we delve into my selections, I would be remiss to not breakdown the simply amazing prose and preamble that the MTV remote control blog provides for this innovative process (my comments are imbedded below):

“With 23 seasons under its belt, “The Challenge” has begun to sprout one or two silver hairs, but, as proven over the years, maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age.” (The awareness that The Challenge may have “sprouted one or two silver hairs” is just short of brilliant, and based on some of the nighttime activities in Turkey, maturity and age are not synonymous) No matter how many old or new faces picked for a game, it always delivers the nail-biting battles (and personal beefs) we’ve come to love. (Amen. Battle of the Seasons really accentuated this point. It delivered the goods with a cast of predominantly rookies and largely unproven veterans.) And we, like you, hope it’s only a matter of time before we’re off to some exotic land to fight another good fight. (Seriously. Make it happen, MTV).

With 15 years’ (this is simply an incredible number) worth of participants on our hands, it’s impossible (so impossible!) to predict how any future roster might look, which is why we’re curious to hear YOUR opinion (Thank you. The time had come). In the event “Challenge 24” ever sees the light of day (and it will), who would you want to see competing? Take our girls and guys polls below, and if you happen to check the “Other” box in either, make sure to write your picks in the comments.” (I love the crude methodology of picking an “other.”)

Now, on to the women and men All-Star teams. I have included the MTV remote control blog person descriptions (because some of them are just that good) with my additional comments added as well.

THE WOMEN – STARTERS (according to the voting polls)

Laurel (15% of the vote!) – 4th season – “The outspoken Amazonian who doesn’t put up with BS.”