Tag Archives: “The Challenge”

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 5

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This week’s episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons was titled The Dark Knight.  MTV – easy (and probably cliché) pun aside – I am offended.  To associate Knight (first name Ryan), Team New Orleans’ over confident, obnoxious, offensive, at times genuinely kindhearted, pain in the neck, and Jemmye on again off again ex in any way to the real Dark Knight or the Christopher Nolan masterpiece, is irresponsible and beguiling.  Knight’s actions in this week’s “let’s cliffhang the elimination to accentuate the Devyn/Easy romantic drama” episode were the opposite of heroic, really turned me off, and made me yearn for the menace of the Joker (at least his chaos was thoughtful and clever) to put this gutless and dark less than Knight in his place.

ImageRational ranting aside, a Dark Knight he was not, but in his defense, Knight, did act with strategy in mind (it just wasn’t very good strategy) and time will tell if the other teams identify why this kind of behavior just cannot be tolerated.  (Looking back now on the Real World: New Orleans experience, what is the deal with that group?  From Preston’s unconventional toothbrush usage, to the experience of witnessing the life and times of Ryan, to Knight’s clothes cleaning tactics, something went terribly wrong).  Knight’s after show (brought to you by Jonny Moseley’s interesting hairstyle) hubris showed how somebody (Jemmye certainly tried, credit must be given) has yet to adequately paint this gentleman the picture of just how immature and uncool his behavior (and the bar is set low on this show, people!) actually was.  My hope is that the game will speak for itself and Knight and Team New Orleans will have to pay in the arena for his stupidity.  Until that time, here’s what must be discussed (including the details of these aforementioned Knight incidents) in this week’s episode:

KNIGHT CLEANS NANY’S CLOTHES

Although according to Knight on Challenge Legend Derrick’s fantastic weekly podcast at ultimatechallengeradio.com, the clothes incident occurred after the Nany/Knight post bar blowout (discussed later), be we begin here where the episode begins.  To summarize, someone (a Turkish laundry service?) does Challenge cast members laundry and sends it back in neatly folded in plastic bag covered package.  After all the laundry had been returned, Nany wondered, “Hmm…where is mine?”  As we soon learn, Knight decided to throw Nany’s laundry in the pool because after all, Knight believes that “laundry in Turkey is not done very well” so “he thought he would help [Nany] out.”  After Nany makes this discovery, Knight decides to (and according to Knight on D. Kosinski’s pod, he was aided by Zach, seriously dude?) deliver the rest of Nany clothes to the pool floor for cleaning.  Jemmye – take it away: “What grown man throws another person’s clothes in a pool?”  Although the right sentiment, the fallacy in the question surrounds the “grown man” portion.  Grown men do not throw another person’s clothes in a pool.  As Camila says, “I don’t even think fifth graders do this.”  (She also went on to say that Knight is “dirt” and she wishes she could “step on” him.  The moral of this is do not mess with Camila).

So, why is Knight lacking the maturity to act as man in this case?  His rationale for this unconscionable behavior is that “[Nany] is not all there, stable” and that “this is a game” and if he can “mentally break someone, they shouldn’t be here.”  I agree with a portion of this to a point.  You succeed in The Challenge only if you are mentally there.  Look at Paula as a prime example.  Her success in recent years was directly corralated to her ability to put some of her insecurities and past issues behind her and find the proper mental focus and confidence to rise to the top.  CT has always been a nasty athlete, but he has only been able to do so well in recent seasons because of a accentuation of the kinder, more introspective parts of himself.  The Derricks, Landons, and Darells of Challenge lore have always had physical toughness matched with mental toughness.  Darrell’s one misstep was the regretable boxing match between he and Brad on The Ruins and represents the only time in my memory that his mental toughness was less than stellar.  It is acceptable for Knight to identify mental toughness weakenesses in other competitors, he just didn’t have to do it in such a nasty way.

The fallout of the clothes cleaning incident speaks to just how unsuccessful Knight was at achieving his goals.  Nany’s ability to fuel her anger and recognize that this was clearly a bush league move by Knight (and did not demand anything more than condescending to its stupidity) was simply remarkable.  She showed this questioned mental toughness in recognizing that her payback can and will occur in the actual gameplay.

The kindness of Big Easy, Camila, and especially Dustin must not go unnoticed.  Dustin says it best (although we get what he means, at the same time, we not all that sure what he means): “You know we are going to do…we are going to turn those lemons into watermelons.”  Watermelons are delicious and Team Nany ate them up, exposing Knight as a real aggressor and subsequent game enemy, and galvanized the Team Las Vegas juggernaut.  Nany knew that by taking this highest road, it “kills them (Knight and friends) that much more.”  Good for Nany.

How do the alliance powers feel about this tomfoolery?  Frank, one of two clear alliance male alphas (along with CJ) is right on point:  “It’s not smart Knight.  It puts a target on their back and all they did was rally behind it.  They’re just out there celebrating that fact that they now have a common enemy.”  The Team Brooklyn, Team St. Thomas, and Team Fresh Meat islands now may have an evolving ally in Team Las Vegas who hopefully will now see Knight and Team New Orleans as prime target number one.  Frank continues, “Knight you are douche.  The alliance is carrying around a big painted target and we do not need to make it even bigger.”  Knight’s target enhancement should at least push Frank (because he knows it is a bad look) and CJ (because he professes to adhere to a higher moral code) to cut their New Orleans losses.

THE “DON’T WEIGH ME DOWN” CHALLENGE

ImageAs has happened with many challenges this season (last week’s “Hook, Line, and Sinker” being the aberration), the “Don’t Weigh Me Down” competition is geared toward collaboration among teams and gives clear advantage to the ruling alliance.  In this challenge, half of each team stands on the platform holding up the rock basket for as long as humanly (or superhumanly in Big Easy’s case) possible and half the team puts rocks in the baskets of their choosing.  Although Easy (the basket holder) and Camila (the rock distributor) were a team of two, Easy showed up.  As he triumphantly declares in the heat of battle, “I would rather have the basket rip my arms off my complete body before I let that thing go.”  This feat of strength yielded a totally smitten Devyn (more on this later) to have “never been more turned on in her entire life.”

Sarah’s perfectly put “assassination of Brooklyn” has begun and they were the first team out after having been prime targeted by everyone, but Fresh Meat (This is despite some great mental imagery from Devyn: “Ok, Devyn, pretend you are carrying 100 pounds of shoes, high heels, beautiful heels, we can throw in some cosmetics…you can do this, you wouldn’t want them to drop.”).  ImageThe Easy strong man competition eventually ends (TJ gives a beautiful post challenge shout out, he certainly killed it), leaving alliance members to fight amongst themselves for power team status.  The cracks in the armor begin to fall.  Frank and Trishelle have a spat (Frank is working “his ass off” to keep this alliance together).  Nany recognizes that “this alliance has gone to crap” and makes clear to CJ and Jonna, the only other team left besides Vegas, that she knows that Cancun and San Diego are calling the alliance shots.

Credit has to be given where credit is due and Team Cancun rightfully wins this challenge with a great showing by Jonna and CJ (who seem to be perfectly in line), but also from Derek (starting to rise in the rankings this week) and Jasmine who worked their rock distribution to a tee.

THE BIZARRE POST CHALLENGE ALLIANCE “GATHERING”

What was up with this?  Invitations were sent out to Teams Cancun, San Diego, Vegas (I didn’t see Alton in attendance), and New Orleans.  Marie and Robb (with two b’s) were invited, but Trey and Laura were intentionally excluded.  The alliance powers wanted to discuss sending Trey and Laura in to the arena, but Marie would have N O N E of it.  She made sure that they all knew that her team was four strong and she would not accept the alliance attempt to push off Trey and Laura.  What became clear in this moment (besides Knight’s impression that Marie was acting “like a wild wildebeest”) is that Marie is running the St. Thomas team (and better than I realized) and will stand up for her castmates (despite the continual bridges that Trey seems to keep blowing up, circa Bane 100 minutes into the Dark Knight Rises).  The pullout from this conversation is that St. Thomas is back in play (Marie: “Cancun, I am coming for you”) and it appears (albeit from the edit) that CJ, Jonna, and Frank are running the show and Knight thinks he is running the show.

CHET VERSUS CJ

My favorite moment of this week’s episode went something like this: CJ was chatting it up with Alton and Chet about why Team Brooklyn’s heads of state keep getting James Garfielded.

CJ: “It’s not about you Chet, you know how I feel about you…I tell you I am proud of you as a competitor.”

CHET: “What does that mean?  You are proud of me as a competitor.  You are a fake and a phony.  Don’t tell me I am a good competitor and then throw me in…you are a phony.”

CJ: (walking away) “Now your true colors come out.”

CHET: “I wear them on my shoulder, I don’t try to pretend to be something I am not.”

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Booyah.  Chet wants nothing to do with the “fake Malibu Ken doll” and will not be condescended to.  Chet’s fight, Sarah’s drive and passion, an alliance that is “now crap” and a potential rogue Team Vegas, Marie’s game entrance, Knight’s prime target inducing stupidity, and the prospect of a Devyn-less Big Easy returning for vengeance from the arena next to the ever dangerous Camila could shakeup the makeup of this game’s power structure.  Nany and Dustin’s watermelons, Easy’s strong man impression, and Chet here could be the beginnings of this revolution.

NANY VERSUS KNIGHT – PART II (that was actually part I)

“I don’t know if there are full moons in Turkey or what’s going on, but people are completely insane.”  Trishelle’s wise words are all over the bus fight that became a house fight battle among Nany, her mental toughness, and Knight.  It all started with a hard to keep up with back and forth between first Camila and Jemmye, then Devyn and the bus, then Knight and Camila, then Robb and Nany trying to restrain Knight and Jemmye respectively, and finally just Knight versus Nany.   Camila reasoned that “Knight’s just got poor character and it is time we stand up and do something about it.”  This is fair.Image

Things escalated when the bus returned to the house and Nany had an emotional episode after Knight’s verbal assault took it so many steps too far.  It was an amazing role reversal to watch Frank (great work by the way), Trishelle, and the super cool Jasmine acting as sane restrainers.  Nights (and not Knights) like this do happen on challenges, so I felt for Nany in this moment.  My biggest pull away was in the way Dustin again got behind a Vegas teammate.  There was an amazing moment when Dustin sent everyone else away and said to Nany, “It’s me and you.  We stay right here…Who’s got your back?  You let it out. Knight has continued to mess with our team.  Don’t let him do it again.”  This was a huge moment (and the impetus for Dustin’s rise to the top of the men rankings this week) for Team Las Vegas going forward.  He was not going to let Nany fall apart and in this knowledge, Nany was able to pounce back vengeful and even stronger.  Can you imagine if Paula had received the same support from a Johnny (as he gave to Camila last season) on one of her first challenges?  Above all else, providing what your teammate needs (Laurel taught a master class on this with Cara Maria during Rivals) when they are at their lowest differentiates the winners and the losers. Image Dustin gets it, Sarah and Chet get it, and this is why my preseason favorites remain viable forces in this game.

In the end, where the light Knight’s head was at after the second Nany battle says it all:  “In the end this is a fucking game…ask McKenzie, I am the best manipulator here.”  Knight wants us to verify something with McKenzie whereas Dustin shows us what it means to be a true teammate.

DEVYN AND ERIC: A LOVE STORY

Oh we got here.  This unexpected challenge romance took center stage this week (and will even punctuate the beginning of next week’s “to be continued” conclusion) and brought some really endearing moments.  Devyn rightfully knows that “coming here and dating someone is equivalent of going to a fast food restaurant chain and ordering a vegan omolette,” but she can’t help herself:  “I am smitten with Eric.  It kind of blindsided me because I wasn’t looking for it.  I usually date people who are collecting their social security checks. So, to date someone who is under that age is sort of a shock, but it works.”  This self-described “long date with really bad food” is at times cute (their romantic kiss on the “double date” with Sarah and Alton), sexually aroused (Devyn watching Easy beast at the challenge), facing normal insecurities (the whole past relationship/age difference blip), and so sweet (their eventual “come together” moment pre-arena).

ImageLike Easy says (“I came here to win 250,000, and this is the last thing I thought would happen”), I didn’t see this one coming (nor did Devyn who apparently only dates men twice Easy’s age).  These two Turkey night star crossed lovers who will be torn asunder in next week’s first segment arena battle, appear to be doing just fine according to the Jonny Moseley hair clinic.  Good for both of them.

FRESH MEAT VERSUS BROOKLYN PREVIEW

Next week the conclusion of the arena battle pits Team Fresh Meat’s Eric and Camilia (TJ would be lonely in the arena without them) against Team Brooklyn’s Devyn and JD (we can see that Chet is not participating in the preview) in a mental strategy game.  If Camila and Eric come back, they are going to be ready to mix up this game.  If Devyn and JD return, Brooklyn remains four (a bit of a mixed bag) and reduces the alliance opposition ratio by another team (bye bye already beaten Austin and now Fresh Meat).  Although I was just beginning to like her (the shoe comment at the challenge was genius), I hope that Devyn and JD go home, hopefully releasing Chet and Sarah a little bit in challenges and unleashing the beasts within Easy and Camila.

Without further adieu, onward to the first non-elimination weekly power rankings…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 2 of 13

Dustin’s move to number 1 this week is so well deserved.  Although he may not have tapped into the strategy killing end of this game, his route so far has been part Landon, part Derek, and the best parts of Kenny.  He is likable, loyal, great at challenges, super competitive, a good dancer (we saw that clip), and a healthy social leader (we saw his leading of the “wish I could have participated) boat jump.  Nany’s description of him as “big brother’ on the Jonny Moseley Hair Experiment aftershow warmed many a heart.  His next job – get Vegas back together and start carving out some strategic connections to Brooklyn, St. Thomas, and Fresh Meat (if they come back).

2. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 1 of 13

CJ’s Chet conversation and Dustin’s rise pushed him down one spot this week.  One thing is clear – he is one of three players who are running the ruling party this season and has shown up at every challenge.  His win with Jonna was very impressive (beating an indestructible Alton and a fiery Nany).  How he deals with the ensuing alliance testing storm will determine how Cancun fairs.  The target is partly on his head and it is time to see his stealth strategic maneuvering abilities.

3. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 3 of 13

Alton laid low this week (at least in the edit), did well in the challenge (although not well enough) and is primed for a major comeback next week.

4. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 4 of 13

Thank you to Chet for providing real humor in this uber competitive fish bowl.  He calls it like he sees it and showed amazing fortitude against CJ this week.  Ironically, his continued rise in this game may take more steps forward if JD and Devyn go home.

5. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 13

Frank may be ranked a little low at number 5.  He has been consistent, continues to have a handle on the structure of the game (aligning with Knight and New Orleans may have been a major misstep), and was simply incredible trying to help the Nany explosion.  The next few weeks are going to be huge for Frank – will he maintain the status quo or will he adapt to the ever evolving and emotionally driven power structure of this game?

6. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 7 of 13

Derek rightfully deserves to move up this week past Zach.  He was dynamic in the challenge (he and Jasmine deserve Turkey street cred for dumping those rocks so well) and was a natural at representing his team’s arena pick to TJ and the group.  Still Cancun’s weakest player, Derek is no slouch and is a major reason why they are as successful as they are.

7. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 13

In the challenge, Zach struggled to work with Sam, concerned his intestines were going to shoot out of his anus.  His comment and crediting to Knight (“He calls it like it is”) after the Nany clothes cleaning incident did not sit well, and, if he participated, what are you doing, brother?  He has been slipping for several weeks now.

8. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 13

I continue to give Trey credit.  Even though it seems to him (and the viewer) that no one seems to like him all too much, his decisions seem driven by integrity and a desire to compete to win.  In the challenge he refused to agree with the alliance plan because he likes Brooklyn and thinks they deserve to be here, cheered on Easy’s feat of incredible strength, and seems to have developed a connection with Alton (only a good thing).  CJ probably accurately thinks that Trey needs to meet people halfway, but this may not be the time.  If he and Marie are able to lead St. Thomas toward Vegas and Brooklyn, they can take down the ruling alliance.

9. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 13 of 13

Easy had a big week and would rise even higher if her were not one of two teams that could be going home.  My prediction: he comes back and driven by love, will keep fighting much longer than we originally thought.

10. Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week 11 of 13

This week’s costar and central focus (along with Nany, as unofficially chosen by MTV producers) was my hardest guy to rank this week (as discussed ad nauseum above).  Hearing him on Derek’s podcast (particularly his connection to Chet – unexpected) gave me the impression that he recognizes he is stuck with dead weight (McKenzie and Preston), has some strategic chops, and is playing to win it.  Sadly, he is acting like the naughtiest of young boys and has ostracized himself from many a competitor (and this viewer).  I have trouble imagining a scenario where his team is not in the arena next week.

11. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 13

Robb did speak up in the Alliance conference meeting, but it continues to show how he is following Marie’s orders (like usual) and is less aggressive than Trey in gameplay.  Notwithstanding, no one seems to want to mess with Marie and Robb may have outsmarted us all by following her currently indestructible influence (it still blows my mind that St. Thomas, after four weeks, has yet to see an arena elimination).

12. Preston (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 13

The only moment I recall of Preston from this challenge was when he directed St. Thomas what to do in the challenge.  What was this?

13. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 13

JD is at the bottom this week because I think he is about to go home.  If he does go home, tough moment for JD who did not have one moment on screen this week that we saw him speak.  I am not sure the producers will be bringing him back for a third go round.

ELIMINATED: NO ELIMINATION

Biggest Rise: Eric (Team Fresh Meat)

Biggest Fall: JD (Team Brooklyn)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 13

Sarah may survive the Team Brooklyn assassination attempt even stronger (the elimination of Devyn and Jasmine could be a good thing for her game).  If she and Chet can pull the numbers back in their favor (she must have a hungry Fresh Meat, Vegas, and St. Thomas on board), the road to victory is back on the table.

2. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 13

3. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 13

These two keep doing their thing and keep doing their thing oh so well.  After a few weeks in virtual power (but out of power team status), the frontrunners came back to decision making bench (and Jasmine sported an unruly afro).  Jonna showed that she is an active orchestrator of strategic action and that she can bring it when it comes to strength.

4. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 13

Nany analysis has been done above.  I will leave you with these two quotations that best display the story:

1. “There is no alliance now, there is San Diego and Cancun.  I am so over it.”

2. “If you are going to throw me in I am going to kick ass…and then I am going to come back and fuck you up.”

Don’t mess with Nany (cue Kelly Clarkson).

5. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 6 of 13

I want to take this moment to say that The Challenge has missed Trishelle.  She is a great competitor, mixes it up with everyone, and has a den older sister quality going this season.  Her next strategic move (align away from the alliance in my opinion) will be her most important.

6. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 13

Marie!!!  She was finally able to fuel her self-professed “bitchiness” into an indestructible life force.  Now, you have already made it this far.  Get your team some friends (Brooklyn, Vegas) and make this thing happen.  Her loyalty to Trey and Laura went a long way in her rise to the top tier.

7. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 4 of 13

8. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 7 of 13

Eh.  At some point, will we get a better sense of what is going on with these two?

9. Camila (Team Fresh Meat)Last week: 10 of 13

10. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 13

One of these woman is going home.  One of these woman is coming back.  Both will have something to prove (Camila will be as feisty as ever.  Devyn will be doing it for Eric) and both will come back stronger than when they left.

11. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 13

It was very sweet when she was commending Easy during the challenge.  She is sweet.

12. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 13 of 13

I must give Jemmye credit.  Jemmye had one of those “I kind of really like her” weeks (she had a few on the Real World).  I am SO glad she has come to this understanding: “Knight’s actions toward Nany solidify that I made the right decision by breaking up with him.”  Sadly, on a team with Preston and McKenzie, working with Knight is her best hope.

13. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 13

“The rocks are strange shapes.  Carrying them that distance is a bit of a struggle.”

ELIMINATED: NO ELIMINATION 

Biggest Rise: Marie (Team St. Thomas)

Biggest Fall: Laura (Team St. Thomas), Ashley (Team San Diego)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

T-1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 3.25, last week: 3.25 (1)

CJ (2), Jonna (2), Jasmine (3), Derek (6)

Another challenge win and another power team position.  Some feathers were knocked off their frock with Chet being awesome.

T-1. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 3.25, last week: 4 (2)

Alton (3), Dustin (1), Trishelle (5), Nany (4)

They keep on moving up in the ranks (finally tying Team Cancun).  Next week they must get on the same page as a team.

3. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 6.75, last week: 5.5 (3)

Zach (7), Sam (8), Ashley (7), Frank (5)

Team Brooklyn is closing in and Frank seems to be the only one holding it all together.

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 7, last week: 6 (4)

Sarah (1), Chet (4), JD (13), Devyn (10)

Sarah and Chet could be alone by ten minutes into the episode.  If they were this week, their team would be ranked first.

5. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 9, last week: 9.25 (5)

Laura (11), Trey (8), Robb (11), Marie (6)

The Marie rise plus some positive talk from Trey could be the fuel they need to make their move.

6. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 9, last week: 11.5 (6)

Camila (9), Eric (9), Eliminated: Cara Maria, Brandon

If they come back (a real if), look for a new life for Camila and Easy.

7. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 12, last week: 12 (7)

Knight (11), Jemmye (12), McKenzie (13), Preston (12)

Knight and his unmanly ways could put them on the block of chop next week.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

1. CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 2

T- 4. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 2.5, Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2.5, Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 2.5

5. Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3

6. Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3.5,

T – 8. – Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4, Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4

9. Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5

10. Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 6

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • It will be JD and Devyn versus Big Easy and Camila in the arena.
  • Today is TJ’s favorite challenge.  Is it because he is torturing Mckenzie’s soul?
  • It doesn’t sound good to TJ when Jasmine falls in the water.  Jasmine appears flummoxed.

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

Dr. Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  He writes about Pop Culture and the NBA for bishopandcomp.com.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out every Monday.  The Week 6 power rankings will be available on October 22. 

 

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 4

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For several weeks now, I have been singing the praises of several Challenge competitors (Team Las Vegas, Sarah and Chet from Team Brooklyn) and destroying several others (Team New Orleans) without having any real statistical data from this season as support.  Past Challenge and Real World seasons have provided useful insight, but on paper is one thing – you still have to play the games.  For better or worse, this week’s aptly titled “What Happens in Vegas…” episode tested the fortitude of a preseason favorite team, further confirmed the comical futility of another, and presented the rise of a Challenge veteran who may have just made the leap and is now definitively the one to beat on Battle of the Seasons.

A chronological recap does not seem to fit the makeup of what was an insightful and informative hour of classic Challenge action.  Last week, we discussed the rise of an alliance spearheaded by Frank connecting Teams Cancun and San Diego with (and to a lesser extent) Las Vegas and New Orleans.  This week, as Team Fresh Meat continues to be marinated, Las Vegas’ internal makeup was put to the test and Sarah, aided by the (fast-becoming) perfect sidekick Chet, was given an early season exam.  Her score was off the charts and it feels like the game has finally begun.

Here is what must be discussed:

SARAH

Last season on Exes, MTV producers unjustly sent Sarah home because her Exes partner (and this was a liberal use of ex and partner – I am not sure there was much to their relationship past a one night hookup on Fresh Meat II) Vinny, not known for his common sense, decided to pull off Mandy’s top and you just can’t do that.  Partners have been replaced in the past (Mike, Leroy’s bro, replaced Adam “Crazy” Royer on Rivals), but for some reason last season, Sarah was forced to pay for her partner’s idiocy.  I remember watching the moment from my uncomfortable living room futon empathizing with the visible disappointment and devastation on Sarah’s face. (There must be a story as to why Mr. Beautiful was not flown in.  And, Bunim-Murray, if Nate and Priscilla were considered exes for their awkward bed cuddling in San Diego, then the Kenny and Sarah flirtation on The Ruins must count).

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I came in to Battle of the Seasons hoping that Sarah would not only have the opportunity to compete again without facing silly producer decisions, but would (now on her sixth challenge) possibly find a way to put it all together and reach her ultimate goal (think LeBron in 2012).  There is something about her that makes you want to root for her and this made the Trishelle assault in this episode seem like it was coming from out of left field.  I recognize that I know her through a produced reality competition television program lens (and I know, the Challenge is so much more than that), but I really think Sarah is genuinely one of the good people in this world (and certainly on this show).  We will get to her competitive dominance in a moment, but the instance that struck me the most on this episode was unexpected.  It was her response to a perhaps too-off colored joke by Chet about selling her body to Alton for game benefits.  Sarah is tough and no one can deny that, but she was sensitive and hurt by Chet’s comment and was forthright in telling him so.  This moment of vulnerability (or the moment she broke down and cried when T.J. told her the bad news last season) is the essence of Sarah’s greatness.  She is strong, she is competitive, she will fight to win at all costs, she cares more than anyone, but she is also a human that feels.  These few cracks in her often impenetrable armor may make her the most relatable and genuine person that The Challenge has ever known.

Beyond her more affable traits, Sarah is a warrior.  Her decision to go into the arena, the admirable confidence and joy she had in the “Knot So Fast” strategy game, and the way she worked with Chet to find a way to win, were out of a chapter from the How To Win the Challenge textbook (with other chapters by the Miz, Kenny, Laurel, Derrick, and Johnny Bananas among others).  She was in complete emotional control, had keen and focused understanding of what to do, and had a incredible humility about the decision to be sent in to the arena in the first place.  “I’ll tell you the truth, I think people are starting to see that I am not a girl that they want to mess with and yeah, I’d want to get rid of me too.”  She gets a game that is played fairly and strategically, knows her place within it, and has the utmost confidence in herself (and now I think Chet) that she can win.  For all the other teams, Sarah (if she is with Chet) is the one to beat.

TEAM LAS VEGAS

For the first time this season, Team Las Vegas was tested.  In the “Hook, Line, and Sinker” challenge, they narrowly beat out Team Cancun (it was the opposite outcome in week 1) and fulfilled their destiny as the dominant challenge force.  This part was easy.  Now, as the power team, deciding who to throw in the arena proved to be the real challenge.

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Alton wanted to throw in alliance member Team New Orleans because of consistent poor performance (and captain obviously, because of his burgeoning relationship with Sarah).  Trishelle wanted to throw in Team Brooklyn because she thinks they are a threat to Las Vegas and teammate Alton because of some pre-challenge intel on Sarah (more on that later).  This pitted a Team Las Vegas internal battle between Alton and Trishelle and Nany that forced Dustin into a bit of a conundrum.  Nany’s take: “Team Vegas is in shambles.”

The potential problems are clear.  If Alton’s heart is too much of a driving force and is causing him to reason something that “is not the plan,” this is an issue.  Trishelle also thinks that “Alton will say anything to save Sarah” and that this “relationship is taking his head out the game.”  If Vegas is going to win, they need Alton to be focused and away from distractions.  Additionally, Trishelle went right to CJ and Knight (what up with that?) about her team issues.  She has got to keep family business in the family.

ImageAll of this could be bad news for Team Las Vegas, but my take is a little different.  Yes, when it was said and done, Dustin sided with the ladies and voted 3 to 1 to send Brooklyn into the arena, potentially further isolating and offending his Alton running mate, but what he said on the way back from the challenge may be more important.  When Alton and Trishelle first go at it, Dustin knows that “things are going to get heated and that’s ok.”  The most successful teams in all major sports (of which The Challenge is clearly one) are going to have these moments when they tested.  How they deal with this adversity will ultimately determine whether they have it in them to be a champion or not.  This is such a moment for Las Vegas and although some resentment may linger for a time, they must now move forward.  Dustin is going to be the key.  He called it straight with Alton and told him he was power tripping (wow, that was an incredible moment from Mr. Zito) and Alton took it.  He was able to hear from Nany and Trishelle without being steamrolled.  The question remains: can he bring the factions back together and will he be able to continue to independently (as I believe he did in this case) make the call?

Finally, this may have been editing, but it appeared that Vegas gave Alton the say of who to pick from the Fresh Meat team to go against Sarah in the arena.  This power consolation shows a functioning team who dealt with conflict, but can still operate as a compromising unit.  This was a test.  The results are pending, but I have a feeling they passed.

TRISHELLE VS. SARAH

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Every time a professional poker player is pitted against a warrior sweetheart, there are going to be some issues.  Here are some quotations highlights:

Trishelle on Sarah: “Before I came on this Challenge, I was told my multiple people, Sarah is extremely manipulative.  She might be manipulating Alton and he is an easy target.”

Trishelle to Devyn: “He (Alton) is picking vagina over his own teammates.”

Trishelle, on her prediction that Sarah would try to avoid the arena: “She should really just be a woman and go in.”

This all led to an AMAZING exchange between Trishelle and Sarah.  The confrontation went something like this:

Trishelle: “Trust me, I’m a poker player.”

Sarah: “I think you are not as good as a bluffer as you think you are.”

When Sarah won the arena strategy competition, “Knot So Fast,” Trishelle conceded defeat:

“I am the person that had to eat my words…it’s embarassing, I hate to eat my words, but I had to.”

In this Fresh Meat defeat and in this defeat conceit, we learned much about these two woman.  In Trishelle’s defense, she probably had bad intel about Sarah’s true intentions going into The Challenge, but if she believed what she heard, eliminating Sarah from the game makes sense.  I am impressed with both her vigilance in trying to do so and in her acknowledgement that she may have been wrong.  Sarah, on the other hand, showed tremendous fortitude by confronting Trishelle, speaking truth, and proving herself worthy in her arena performance.  I predict that mutual respect may arise from this early escalation and I think it is in the best interest of both parties (especially with Alton in the middle) to align.

SARAH AND ALTON

The Challenge has sprouted many a romantic connection and most are slightly curious (Paula and Ty, Evan and Veronica), too easy (Wes and Mandy), violent (Tyrie and Jasmine), beautiful and bizarre (Cara Maria and Abram), or horrifying and on a roof (CT and Shauvon).  There are not many Brad and Tori success stories (I so rooted for CT and Diem!), and more often than not, a Challenge romance is a challenge.

Alton and Sarah are great people and for those hopeless romantics out there (of which I am one), I wish them nothing but the best.  In the interim, I will leave you with some of Alton’s best verbal discoveries:

“You are like me only like a white girl.  But I’m like you, but only like a bald black guy that is much older.”

“Sarah completes a picture for me…”

“What I like most about Sarah – she reminds me of home.  She could be my best friend in real life.”

CHET’S ROLE

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Battle of the Seasons is a team game and you are only as good as your partner.  Poor Fresh Meat is learning that most Big Easy scenarios are not going to be easy.  As much as Sarah’s star shined brightly this episode, it is even more pronounced in light of the fact that her final partner could be Chet.  From a comedic (“It’s all your fault JD.  Would it kill you to get in Frank’s bed?”), strategic (he has been ready to play since day one), and “who do I want to hang out with” perspective (Chet seems super chill), Sarah is doing really well.  Chet rocked the arena and “wanted to be the ones (he and Sarah) to set the example for [his] team,” leaving every inch of himself in the sandy pit (including the hard work, high exertion vomit emmission)  Sarah said it simply, “Chet’s got my back and I’ve got his.”

Chet’s best moment (and perhaps the episode’s as well) came when Trishelle was talking some Alton-Sarah unrest.  Chet went right at Trishelle: “Have you heard their conversations? They talk about stars and wind….You are delusional.  You are a conspiracy theorist.”

Trishelle retorts, “She is going to try to save herself…she is selfish,” Chet’s response: “That is where you are wrong.”  Chet and Sarah are the team to beat.

WHAT ABOUT TEAM ST. THOMAS?

Lost in the Vegas deliberation over “Team Brooklyn or Team New Orleans in the arena” was the question: what about Team St. Thomas?  Apply this take by Knight about New Orleans to St. Thomas: “I think we are probably looked at as the weakest team but could actually be beneficial to us because they want to keep the weakest teams around until the end.  Hey, I’ll take that.”  The reality?  Knight may have been right.

The “HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER” challenge

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The “Hook, Line, and Sinker” challenge was “one of the most difficult five legged races you have ever seen” according to T.J. “the great one” Lavin.  Having seen so many, I totally get it.  Chet’s take:  “Devyn doesn’t want to get her weave wet and I don’t want to fall and like skewer my penis.”  Perfect segway to…

TEAM FRESH MEAT

…on the challenge Big Easy “needed a break” and then fell (his second disqualification causality) and the third straight Fresh Meat arena appearance.  Camila said it best: “We’ve been given this burden called Eric.”

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Meanwhile, Easy was romancing the Devyn stone and thinks “Devyn likes having a good time with Eric.”  This led to Devyn’s in your face wine drinking confrontation, “What is exactly going through your mind?”  At the same time, Brandon and Camila had their previewed blowout fight, Chet laughs, Brandon thinks Camila needs therapy, and Camila yells, “I’m done.  I’m done.  I want to leave.  I’m going home.  I’m leaving.”  The next morning, all was well and Camila got after Cara Maria for not wanting to volunteer an arena appearance (especially since Camila was trying to keep the team together).

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Can you understand why Fresh Meat suffered its first elimination?  Poor Brandon and Cara Maria were victims of another tough showing for Big Easy, an inexplicable refusal from Easy to volunteer, some bad luck, and the juggernaut that was Sarah and Chet in the “Knot So Fast” arena battle.  I will miss them both, especially Cara who deserved a more stable team makeup.  I have said it before – Team Fresh Meat had the worst possible combination of players (although three were strong as individuals) and needed an alpha (Laurel, Johnny) to lead them away from their dysfunctional ways.  As for Cara “I’ve hung on a few ropes in my day, so I will see what I can do” Maria, I hope that Abram’s arrival in Boston brings beautiful possibilities to her real life and that on the next challenge, she and Laurel can once again partner together to even greater heights.

Onward to the weekly power rankings…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 14

CJ is top dog for the first time this week.  His Jonna-like insight cannot go unnoticed: “Las Vegas wins.  It’s a win-win for our alliance.  I don’t have to sweat anything.  You guys make the decision.”  Vegas sweated, CJ relaxed, and Cancun remains as strong as ever.  Also of note, it appears that Trishelle has a clear connection to CJ (she conversed with him about strategy on a view included segments).  Since his Wes overthrow in week one, he has uncontested control of this game and will continue to assert it if Teams like Vegas remain loyal.

2. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 2 of 14

3. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 14

Although Nany did describe Alton as a “thirty-two-year old man having a temper tantrum,” (not a good look and the reason for a slight drop in the rankings), he dealt with a difficult situation with as much poise as you could expect (as in he showed the anger but did not go all ballistic).  As Trishelle noted, he is a feeler and leads with his heart (I remember you Irulan, don’t worry).  It is part of why he wins and what makes him great, he just needs to reign it in a little bit (especially with the momentum of a Sarah arena victory).  Despite some above the surface emotions, his game analysis is spot on: “New Orleans is weak.  It is so obvious that for Preston and McKenzie, it is time for you to go home.”  Obviously.

As mentioned before, Dustin was faced with a tough situation, and I think his handling of it showed true character.  In this weathering of the storm (“There is a part of me that believes Alton, but I am not sure where to way to go.  I am being tugged from so many different angles, I am about to rip apart.”), Dustin continues to rise.

4. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 6 of 14

See above.  Chet is a player in this game.

5. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 14

6. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 4 of 14

Frank was on the sidelines (not a bad thing with his alcohol track record), but did not lose momentum.  He was calm and cool when Ashley faced fear in “Hook, Line, and Sinker” and showed strategic awareness with his “two teams at once?” rule clarification.  He is still in it; he just took a short breather.

It was not the best week for Zach.  He had this moment: “Brooklyn is just all around softer than puppy turds.  Obviously we are going to send them in first.”  Wrong.  Even Knight highlighted something problematic: “Zach, you’re a monster.  We need a steroid test.”  Tough.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 7 of 14

Although his team came in second in the challenge, he remains mostly a silent partner (he did have some on point Sarah/Chet insight).  In the part of the episode that is not really part of the episode (I still don’t get it), Derek got naked, so there is that.

8. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 14

9. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 13 of 14

10. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 14

Once again, Chet, take it away: “It’s all your fault JD.  Would it kill you to get in Frank’s bed?”  Brilliant.  JD also managed to not compete in the arena.  Brilliant.

11. Knight (Team New Orleans) Last week 14 of 14

Knight knew this: “All I have to do is get past where Big Easy fell.”  That’s it big, man.  Way to set the bar high.

12. Preston (Team New Orleans) Last week: 12 of 14

Alton openly identified him as a weak player adding him to a list of Knight, myself, and Preston who have acknowledged his Challenge challenge.

13. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 8 of 14

He may have found love with Devyn (and I am happy for him), but Easy is struggling in challenges.  The Fresh Meat elimination this week is squarely on his shoulders.

ELIMINATED: Brandon (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 9 of 14

Biggest Rise: JD (Team Brooklyn)

Biggest Fall: Eric (Team Fresh Meat)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 3 of 14

See above.  After a week away, Sarah is back at the top.  Her attitude, her enthusiasm, her tenacity, her drive, and her coolness under pressure may keep her there for some time.

2. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 1 of 14

3. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 14

4. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 14

They continue to do what they need to do in challenges to avoid the arena.  Yet to be fully tested, will they have the same fight as Sarah or the Vegas girls?  The answer to this question could be the ultimate answer in determining who wins this season.

5. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 10 of 14

6. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 9 of 14

Finally!  Nany and Trishelle were given some opportunity to show their stuff and they brought it.  They receive high praise for convincing Dustin to vote for Team Brooklyn (and against Alton) and showed some strategic chops.  Putting an Alton/Sarah relationship aside, Brooklyn was a threat and they were right to try to force an elimination.  Trishelle’s first two comments post challenge were: “I would like for Chet and Sarah to get Camille (tough) and freakin one of the Fresh Meat guys out” and “we need to keep New Orleans around because they are weak.”  The poker player is here to play.  Although Nany may be “just letting Dustin and Alton guide [her] through this entire challenge,” she and Trishelle are performing and have a voice.  Their best next move?  Reconcile with Alton and consider a new alliance (Brooklyn, St. Thomas, and the carcass of fresh meat) that lets them get out from under the San Diego and Cancun shadow.

7. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 14

8. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 14

9. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) Last week: 13 of 14

Devyn may have found love in a hopeless place. – and she has Chet and Sarah as teammates.  Two wins for her.  Each week we peel back the onion under threat of weave destruction, we may learn more about Devyn’s ceiling in this game (not too high, easily persuaded by others – see Trishelle Sarah bashing), but she is certainly not anonymous.  And, if you are going to choose a person on another team to canoodle with that no will be threatened by, Big Easy is your man.

10. Camila (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 4 of 14

Camila is having a tough time on Battle of the Seasons.  Her slight victory in avoiding an arena is offset by having to continue to team with Big Easy in challenges.  This is not her year.  Like David Robinson in 1997, hang it up early this year and come back next year with a high draft pick (the return of Evan perhaps?).

11. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 14

12. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 14

13. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 14 of 14

Marie is “petrified.”  McKenzie says, “Don’t fall.  Don’t fall.  Don’t fall.”  Jemmye literally disappears.  With Devyn gone, the bottom three are intact.  It looks like Marie Marie comes out next week.  The Battle of the Seasons cast can now commiserate with Swifty and the St. Thomas viewing audience.

ELIMINATED: Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 7 of 14 

Biggest Rise: Nany (Team Las Vegas)

Biggest Fall: Camila (Team Fresh Meat)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 3.25, last week: 3.25 (1)

CJ (1), Jonna (2), Jasmine (3), Derek (7)

They finished strong in “Hook, Line, and Sinker” and remain on top of the standings.

2. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 4, last week: 5.5 (3)

Alton (3), Dustin (2), Trishelle (6), Nany (5)

Last week: It feels like we are still in the preseason for Team Las Vegas.  They have yet to be adequately tested.  This week they learned that “winning the challenge is the easy part…making the decision on who we are going to send in is the tough part.”  They dealt with this adversity and in light of Sarah and Chet’s arena win, Trishelle ate her words, and Alton will be complete again.

3. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 5.5, last week: 5 (2)

Zach (6), Sam (7), Ashley (4), Frank (5)

It was a slow, uninteresting week for San Diego, reminiscent of many Real World: San Diego episodes that featured Zach and Ashley GTSing (Gym, Talking, Subway).  Look for them to be back in the mix next week.

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 6, last week: 8.75 (5)

Sarah (1), Chet (5), JD (9), Devyn (9)

Last week I said: Look for a comeback week from Team Brooklyn in episode 3.  Success.  Derek kills it: “Sarah and Chet aren’t on the strongest team, but together, they are definitely a strong duo.”  Yes they are.

5. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 9.25, last week: 10 (6)

Laura (8), Trey (8), Robb (10), Marie (11)

Fresh Meat’s fall is their gain.  They have definitely had the easiest time as straight off the boat rookies in Challenge history.

6. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 11.5, last week: 7 (4)

Camila (10), Eric (13), Eliminated: Cara Maria, Brandon

Last week Frank called Team Fresh Meat this season’s “most dysfunctional team” and wonders since “they don’t have any loyalties, why would they come together?” This week, something had to give.  I feel for Cara Maria, Camila, and Brandon as competitors and am certainly happy for Big Easy in the land of love, but criticize producers for allowing such clear dysfunction on screen.  They never had a chance.

7. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 12, last week: 13 (7)

Knight (11), Jemmye (13), McKenzie (12), Preston (12)

Their weakness (as Knight pointed out) is becoming their strength.  I, like Alton, don’t think there is a place for this in The Challenge (whereas in Survivor it makes sense) when the final is about beating the best.  Oh well.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

1.CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 1.5

2. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 2

3. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2.5

4. Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3.5

T – 5. Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4, Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4

T – 8 – Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4.5, Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5, Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 4.5

T- 10 – Zach and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 5, Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 5

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Zach is “dying up here” during the challenge
  • Marie is not “keeping her voice down” and “doesn’t give a fuck who hears me now.”  Jonna is astonished.
  • Nany has one of those nights and wants to go home (see Dustin taking care of things, once again)…

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

Dr. Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  THE CHALLENGE: WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS comes out every Monday.  Check back here on October 15.

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Weekly Power Rankings – Week 3

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The title of this week’s episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons was “The Perks of Being a Rookie.”  In traditional Challenge seasons, the “perks of being a rookie” include early exits, empty wallets, and the experience of being targeted by veterans whose line between “unconscionable hazing” and “we’re just having a little fun” is as blurry as my vision every morning pre-contact insertion or the yesteryear brit pop band.  I fondly remember Leroy and Mike’s adorable bromance taking them all the way to the final challenge on Rivals, but this rookie pair succeeded because Mike was a late game addition after insane Adam Royer fought his way off the show (he got booted) and because Mike and Leroy were the opposite of adversaries going into the season.  Otherwise, it is Challenge tradition, practice, and expectation for rookies to be sent home early.

Going into Battle of the Seasons, we knew that the sheer number of rookies would be new terrain for the rookie one and done policy, but this week’s action-packed episode presented an entirely unexpected scenario: there are rookies who are legitimately running the show.

Let’s recap what happened with some good old-fashioned bullet points:

  • We got to finally see the production heavy opening titles (held in episode 1 to create more Team Fresh Meat suspense).  These openings are always goofy.  I particularly liked the close-up of T.J. at the end.  Nothing compares to the Duel II opening titles (you have to watch the behind the scenes video – high level unintentional comedy).
  • We learned that Melinda has a GBH (Guy Back Home) and Danny has a LAH (Lady at Home).  They both seemed genuinely happy.  Based on the timing of this scene and the dramatic structure template that Challenge episodes follow, this does not bode well for the divorced couple to remain in the game much longer.
  • This week’s challenge was called “Oil Change,” a wrestling match in a pit of olive oil.  If you force your opponent out of the pit past the perimeter red line, you are out.  The first team to win four matches is the new power team.  The last team to win four matches is going into the arena.  Also, as T.J. said, “You may not know this, one of Turkey’s national sports is wrestling.”  No, I didn’t know.  Hey T.J., you may not know this, but I don’t really care.
  • Before the challenge, it is revealed that a purposeful alliance (start watching at :37, priceless) has formed among Teams San Diego, Cancun, Las Vegas, and New Orleans.  Teams Brooklyn, Fresh Meat, and Austin didn’t have their stuff together and are only connected by default.  Team St. Thomas is on their own island (some things don’t change).  This reality becomes the central focus of the challenge when the coalition (led by C.J. and Frank) discovered that by keeping the wrestling matches insular among their alliance teams, they would freeze out the other teams and ensure one of Teams San Diego, Cancun, Las Vegas, or New Orleans the victory.  This was executed (with minor setbacks) to a tee.  Many matches were immediately tapped out in obnoxious theatrical displays (T.J.‘s response: a disdainful “Jesus Christ”).  Team San Diego won (led my new Challenge mastermind, Frank) and was the new power team, followed by Cancun, New Orleans (riding the cottails of alliance mates), and Vegas (Dustin had to fight off Robb with two “Bs” for a legit win).
  • Chet realized that “somebody is getting screwed” among the four remaining teams.  Team Brooklyn and Fresh Meat completed the challenge first, leaving the last place spot to be fought over between Austin and St. Thomas.  After an epic draw between Danny and Trey, Laura beat Melinda and sent Team Austin into their second straight arena (after having lost Wes and Lacey last week).
  • Captain Frank and Team San Diego held court with Team Fresh Meat and Team St. Thomas to determine who would face Austin in the arena.  Despite Fresh Meat’s pathetic groveling (Brandon at one point said, “Pleaseeeeee”) and Trey’s as good as throwing himself in arrogance, San Diego sent Fresh Meat back to the arena anyway.
  • Team Fresh Meat could not decide which two competitors would face Danny and Melinda in the arena, yielding the decision to Team San Diego.  T.J, was accusatory when he asked Cara Maria and company, “You couldn’t come to a decision?  Why not?”  San Diego selected Camila and Big Easy to represent Fresh Meat in an endurance game called “Balls Out.”  T.J. in classic form: “I hope you did your running.”
  • This led to one of the best exchanges in Challenge history – T.J.:  “Easy, what happened man, you ain’t politicking right, what happened?”  Big Easy: “I don’t give a f–k.  How about that?”  T.J. : “Sounds good to me.”
  • Big Easy and Camilla beat Danny and Melinda and eliminated Team Austin from the game.  Seven teams remain and Team Fresh Meat seemed like a mess.

So, how could this rookie-led takeover be happening?

There are several key factors.  First, there is a MAJOR power vacuum without Johnny Bananas, Jenn with two “Ns”, Paula, Kenny, Evan, Laurel, or Derek, providing their traditional physical or political domination.  Even the players that have had past success have been retired for some time (Alton) or may need a strong partner to be kept in line (Camila).

Second, although a team like San Diego is made up of all Challenge rookies, they still have a team like St. Thomas below them on the totem pole to walk all over.  If Team San Diego were the only rookie team in the game, they may not find their journey so easy.

Third, this season’s vets are in dysfunctional teams.  Sarah and Chet are working with the likes of JD and Devyn, Team Austin is already out, and Team Fresh Meat is (up until this point in the game) a terrible combination of ex-players.  There is no calm, cool alpha.  Just think if they had Kenny, Evan, Ev, or Laurel calling shots.  Camila is a beast, but may not have the disposition to be a team leader.  Big Easy may have the disposition, but his track record is lackluster.

The time was right for a mind like Frank to take advantage, but he definitely has some external circumstances in his favor.  We will see how long he can remain the big dog of the Turkish pound.

To the weekly power rankings…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 15

“Who doesn’t like Alton? He’s probably the most amazing guy on the planet.” – Sarah.  Yes, he may be.  We only wish that the challenge required more of him.  It appeared like his “Oil Change” battles were inconsequential.  Still, any week Alton manages to be under the radar and on the side of the power team alliance, no will touch his place at the top of these rankings.

2. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 2 of 15

Unlike Alton, Dustin was put to the test and could not have performed better.  His epic draw with Zach (to the delight of women and men who like to see attractive men wrestle) was a signal of just how ready Monsieur Zito is to compete against the best of his competition.  Zach is bigger and stronger, but Dustin would not let up and definitely gave teammate Alton a preview of what his younger Las Vegas teammate is capable of.  Team Las Vegas did have a moment that mattered (when San Diego, Cancun, and New Orleans had already finished the challenge), but Dustin handily took care of business against the outmatched (but still a really tall dude) Robb with two “Bs.”  This is just it – at this point in the game, Dustin is just taking care of business.  We will see how he fairs when his alliance mate (I still think Las Vegas has the loosest of ties with the current in crowd) Frank brings up his pay porn past as teased on “This season on…”

3. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 15

4. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 4 of 15

Both Zach and C.J. represent the new Challenge uber-athlete competitors who are going to be in these competitions because of sheer athleticism and consummate off-season “training.”  Think Landon or Derek (although Zach and C.J. are not even close to being in the same league as these Challenge legends yet).  C.J. in particular is showing a keen, strategic mind (he seemed to be alongside Frank step by step in the “Oil Change” takeover).  Although Jonna “doesn’t mind the view” of an oiled up Zach wrestling and wants to “be yours” to Zach when The Challenge is over, Zach has a ways to go in the political maneauvering that must take place outside of the athletic competition and Jonna cuddling.

5. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 14 of 15

Frank said, “I think this is our time” as he plotted the Rookie Revolution in a confessional interview.  Frank, you may be right.  My, have the tides changed.  Frank’s crazy drunk night in the season premiere seems like a long time ago.  His nine position jump is earned for a remarkable transformation from a loose canon to a thoughtful, plotting mastermind.  I knew that Frank had this in him, but I did not expect it to happen so soon.  He is cool, cutting, and completely aware of what the right move was to make at each juncture.  A must listen or must watch is his interview with the AfterbuzzTV Challenge after show where he outlines his motivations and sizes up other competitors (afterbuzztv, by the way, may be the best place to get weekly Challenge intel).  He reminds me of a combination of Kenny’s confident sass and Johnny’s political scheming.  I am very impressed.  In the episode, his most striking moment may have been when Trey (an “egomaniac, a Wes Jr. if you will” as Frank coins him) pushes Zach’s last nerve in their “why we should save St. Thomas” discussion.  Zach gets up and his ready to leave and Frank forcefully responds, “Zach, sit down.”  This Frank/Zach relationship, so troubled in San Diego and its environs, may be the key to their victory on Battle of the Seasons.  Zach keeps Frank’s drunken messes in check and Frank keeps Zach’s quick temper and impatience in line.  As individuals they are strong, but as teammates, they may be the only guy pair that can compete with Dustin and Alton.

6. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 5 of 15

Chet has “never wrestled in oil” and it shows.  He also has a very telling indictment of Cancun’s yielding their power team status to San Diego: “Cancun is so stupid and so naive that now Frank holds all the cards.  He’s the new guy.  We are supposed to be tossing him in.”  Chet knows that Frank’s takeover is dangerous.  Does he have enough game to make a countermove?  I say yes.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 6 of 15

In this episode, Derek tried to beat Frank in an “Oil Change” wrestling match and lost.  At least he bought into the “Frank wins” theme of the week.

8. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 10 of 15

9. Brandon (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 7 of 15

Big Easy was in serious “vet mode” all episode, but I am not sure it did any good.  It was sad and slightly pathetic to watch him fighting for his life against San Diego’s power team power.  Give me a break for one day is all I am asking.  They did not give him a break, but to Easy’s credit, his anger, pride, and unwarranted “I’ve won before and can win again” attitude may have been the difference in his second straight arena win.  Here’s what I will say – at this point, I would rather have Easy’s fight than Brandon’s seemingly lack of backbone.  Easy has always been the underdog because of his endurance and physical issues, but now, after two arena wins, he may have earned a temporary reprieve from facing an elimination for the time being.  This week Brandon had a draw wrestling match versus Trey, easily threw in St. Thomas in his conversation (grovel session) with Team San Diego, and even asked them to save him politely.  Also, Brandon, I get that you did a few too many eliminations in the past, but at some point you have to step up.

10. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 15

From Marie cooperation issues, to his introspective awareness that he is “not really good at keeping [his] mouth shut,” to the “these are people that already dislike me” emotional sit-down with Laura at the end of the episode, Trey is having a tough time in Turkey.  He did fight hard in the challenge and clearly wants to win, he may not be ready this year.  If the aforementioned denouement is any indication (some of Frank’s talking points in the Afterbuzztv podcast and show may have hinted at this as well), Trey and Laura may be going home next week.

11. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 12 of 15

Although Robb with two “Bs” lost his chance to beat Dustin and Team Las Vegas and potentially flip the balance of power in the challenge, he at least seemed into the game this week and moves up one spot just for this reason.

12. Preston (Team New Orleans) Last week: 15 of 15

13. JD (Team Brooklyn) Last week: 11 of 15

14. Knight (Team New Orleans) Last week 13 of 15

Last week Devyn said that “J.D. is kind of creepy.”  This week, JD and Knight couldn’t beat each other wrestling.  As Jemmye says, Knight’s main intentions are about her, not about winning the money.   Yes, Jemmye, That is a lot to take in.  Preston even called the Knight vs. JD battle “a mess.”  Anytime Preston calls you out, you have to take a dive in these rankings.

ELIMINATED: Danny (Team Austin) Last week: 9/15

Biggest Rise: Frank (Team San Diego)

Biggest Fall: Tied – Brandon (Fresh Meat), Trey (St. Thomas)

THE WOMEN

1. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 15

I am little bit relieved because we’re not the power team and we don’t have to make the decision of who to send in.  This is the statement of a master player and moved Jonna to the top of the rankings.  She knows that winning the first challenge is one thing, but you don’t want the attention consistently on you too early.  She let San Diego have this week because she knew that her team was safe, but would benefit from letting them do the dirty work and make some enemies on their own.  If her budding Zach romance can remain in the cuddly honeymoon phase, it will be an asset going forward.

2. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 5 of 15

It was a quiet week for Jasmine (not a bad thing for Jasmine or her audience to have every once and a while) and she got body slammed by Ashley, yet she still deserved to move up three spots.  This blows my mind.

3. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 15

Although Sarah may have been behind the curve on the “forming of alliance” part of Challenge strategy (I will blame the fact that she has JD and Devyn on her team), she had a great moment during “Oil Change” when she galvanized the remaining teams against St. Thomas.  Sorry, Frank and co.  You may fool her once, but if next week’s trailer is any indication (her potential relationship with Alton could be a game changer), Sarah is not going to let you stay on top for too long.

4. Camila (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 2 of 15

Poor Camila.  For all she has going for her (and believe me, I would pick her against every girl in an elimination), there is a bit of a not-so-good duality that always seems to crop up.  Even in her victorious Exes run last season, there was one night when it all came loose and Johnny feared for his Challenge life.  This time around Camila pissed off Frank, which would not have been a bad thing, but for the fact that Frank was in control and threw her into a much too soon arena elimination.  I do wish that Camila had volunteered to go in (leaving it up to San Diego should have been her demise), but I credit her for at least acknowledging that “everyone is watching their own back” on Team Fresh Meat.  If you cross her, she will beat whatever is in front of her (Marie in a wrestling match and Danny and Melinda in the arena discovered this), but I fear this game may have even more to do with politicking than she knows how to handle.  Her first order of operation is to improve the dysfunction that is her team.

5. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 10 of 15

In this episode, Ashley body slammed Jasmine in the “Oil Change” challenge and her team won.  It also appears that she has fallen into line with both Frank and Zach and that this will certainly pay off.  She and Frank earned their large jumps in the rankings.

6. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 15

Her team won, but with Ashley stepping up, I am not sure where Sam is in all of this.  According to Frank in the aforementioned Afterbuzztv interview, her head (and face?) may be somewhere besides in the game.

7. Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 4 of 15

This was a tough week for Boston’s own Cara Maria and she definitely loses some standing for seeming to create some of Team Fresh Meat’s dynamic problems.  I did think she had the right attitude about the grovel session to San Diego.  “We are so experienced in this game and we are begging rookies to keep us.  I am not feeling this.”  Nor should you be.  Also, it seems like she lucked out when San Diego chose Camila to go into the arena when she said she was “not really good with balls.”  Yep.

8. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 9 of 15

Laura valiantly beat Melinda to save her team from the arena, but her linkage to Trey may be her ultimate demise (see: Trey section).

9. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 7 of 15

10. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 8 of 15

Trishelle and Nany are still waiting for their moment on this season (Nany losing a wrestling match to McKenzie was not such a moment).  From the preview for next week, it seems that Trishelle is not too pleased with a connection between Alton and Sarah.

11. Marie (Team St. Thomas) Last week: 12 of 15

“The bitch is strong, ok.”  Apparently Marie is a beast in the “Oil Change” wrestling ring.  Camila still took care of business.

12. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) Last week: 14 of 15

‘Kenzie beat Nany in a oily match to move her up a few spots, but her own words speak for themselves: “Everyone that knows me says that I am too nice to really be competitive.”  I trust those who know McKenzie.

13. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) Last week: 15 of 15

Devyn had an actual revelatory moment when she beat Melinda to stay alive, so ride that momentum, girl.

14. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) Last week: 13 of 15

Some things do not change: Jemmye is a hot mess when she is drunk.“Knight and I will get back together over my dead body.”  I don’t believe you.

ELIMINATED: Melinda (Team Austin) Last week: 11/15

Biggest Rise: Ashley (Team San Diego)

Biggest Fall: Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 3.25, last week: 4.25 (1)

CJ (3), Jonna (1), Jasmine (2), Derek (7)

They get even stronger by leaving their perch as the power team.  Well done, indeed.

2. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 5, last week: 8.5 (5)

Zach (4), Sam (6), Ashley (5), Frank (5)

This is a fantastic week for the new power team.  The Frank-led rebellion has begun.

3. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 5.5, last week: 4.5 (2)

Alton (1), Dustin (2), Trishelle (9), Nany (10)

It feels like we are still in the preseason for Team Las Vegas.  They have yet to be adequately tested.

4. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 7, last week: 5.75 (3)

Camila (4), Cara Maria (7), Brandon (9), Eric (8)

Frank calls Team Fresh Meat this season’s “most dysfunctional team” and wonders since “they don’t have any loyalties, why would they come together?”

5. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 8.75, last week: 8 (4)

Sarah (3), Chet (6), JD (13), Devyn (13)

Look for a comeback week from Team Brooklyn in episode 3.

6. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 10, last week: 10.25 (7)

Laura (8), Trey (10), Robb (11), Marie (11)

There are “the Rookies, The Vets, and then there is St. Thomas.”  Tough.

7. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 13, last week: 13.75 (8)

Knight (14), Jemmye (14), McKenzie (12), Preston (12)

Holding on for dear life is easy to do when you align correctly.  Well done.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

1. CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 2

2. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 2.5

3. Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4

T-6. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 4.5, Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5, Zach and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 4.5

T-9 Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5, Zach and Sam (Team San Diego) Average: 5, Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 5

3 teams tied at 12 Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5.5, Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5.5, Sam and Frank (Team San Diego) Average: 5.5

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Alton about Sarah: “I just feel like I have been waiting my whole life to meet you.”  Trishelle is concerned.
  • Marie is afraid of heights and “can’t even look down” at the challenge.
  • and Camila and Brandon have a huge blowout fight.  Watch out.

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Weekly Power Rankings – Week 2

Preparing for a Challenge season premiere episode is like preparing for a dinner at your favorite, upscale restaurant.  You know you will love the atmosphere.  You know your food is going to be delicious.  You know that your favorite server (the great T.J. Lavin) will take care of you tonight.  You have definitive and reliable dishes on the menu that you anticipate ordering, but there is a chance that one of the nightly specials will entice you and may even propel your meal to a place you did not know it was going.  There was one time you ordered the special and it caused grave indigestion (CT and Adam’s bloody fight on The Duel II comes to mind), but most of the time, the special is what makes a successful restaurant experience fully realized.

This week’s special dish on The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons season premiere was unexpected and very delicious.  As explained in my preseason rankings blog, Challenge format is explained by master server T. J. Lavin (he particularly killed it this week) to the audience and cast on the first day.  We knew that Real World seasons would be battling, but the how and subsequently the what and why of the game had yet to be revealed.

What is this season premiere’s special dish?  Yes, there are eight teams of four (as expected, Team Fresh Meat was a huge surprise addition, didn’t see that coming) who are competing for a $250,000 prize (You have to hand it to MTV producers for always finding the most astonished crowd shots when the money amount is revealed. Devyn (no joke) thought about how many shoes she could buy).  They will compete in a series of challenges.  The winning team of each challenge becomes the power team.  The team that came in last place in a challenge will automatically be sent in to the arena, a mystical Turkish gladiator competition sand pit where your Challenge fate is sealed.  The power team chooses the other team that will face the losing team in the arena.  Does it all make sense so far?  At this point, the format closely resembles last season’s Battle of the Exes.  So, what is the special tonight?  As T.J. said, “Now there’s a twist.”  Only two of four team members (a guy and a girl) compete in each arena battle and individual teams decide who from their team they will send in.  If they cannot reach a consensus, the power team steps in and decides.  The losing two competitors in each arena duel, are immediately sent home, leaving the two non-arena team members to fend as a pair.

So what happened in the competition parts week 1?  Quick summary of the episode: T.J. killed it.  The Turkey villa is “easily the best Challenge house ever” according to Danny.  Eric couldn’t physically do the “Don’t Cross Me/climbing a rope ladder/balance cross” challenge and disqualified his team.  Lacey and Preston got credit for unexpectedly finishing (i.e. no one believed they could).  Team Cancun narrowly beat out Team Las Vegas (but according to T.J., both teams “killed it”) to win the first challenge.  In a vindictive move, Team Cancun, the first power team, sent in Team Austin into the arena, pinning Austin (Wes and Lacey) vs. Fresh Meat (Eric and Cara Maria).  It was a strength competition called “Hall Brawl”  to see could run the other person over in a thin, glass tunnel.  Cara Maria destroyed Lacey (no surprise) and Eric ran through (first leg) and over Wes (literally).  Wes and Lacey were eliminated, leaving real-life exes Danny and Melinda to fend alone as Team Austin.

Now, how does this new game format grossly influence the weekly power rankings?  Teams can now be looked at in a very different light.  Instead of relying on the strength (or potential weaknesses) of all members, dead weight can be eliminated and the best male/female pair of a team could take it all the way to the end.  Great players stuck with horrible players on their team of four now have a viable way out. To account for these differences in format, the rankings will now feature four categories: men, women, full teams, and the top ten potential(or actualized) pairs.  This just got real.

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS 

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Steins great NBA weekly power rankings column starting sometime next month).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 16

2. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 3 of 16

It was a relatively quiet first week for the Challenge MJ 2.0, but do not be fooled, his supremacy is real.  Apparently since we last saw Alton, he has only gotten better.  Alton explains it best: “Actually I feel like I am in the best shape of my life.  I climb stronger, skate harder, surf bigger waves.  Last time I was here, I was like, ok I was Alton.  Right now, I feel like Alton 2.0.”  Watch out competition.  Alton and Dustin had a phenomenal guy only team meeting early in the episode where they assessed their team and shared intel.  It was like Jordan and Kobe getting together to share insight into whether Ron Harper and Robert Horry were any good.  This connection and bonding between Alton/Dustin (Mr. Zito clearly had much respect) makes this the definitive male duo to beat.   Team Las Vegas barely missed out on power team placement (no surprise there) and I predict will win many a challenge in the coming weeks.  Also, did you see Jasmine’s fawning over Alton’s workout regimen and adonis abdomen?  Unless he faces Big Easy’s heavy bull stampede in an arena, who is going to beat him?

3. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 4 of 16

One of the surprise showings of episode 1, C.J. was instrumental in setting up Wes’ departure.  The revengeful ex-NFL hopeful brought it in the challenge and seems primed to play a more strategic game than in his past challenge.

4. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 16

Zach and his dashing good looks were all over the place in episode I.  We learned that he and Ashley are no more (could be tough on team chemistry), he and Frank apparently get along so well now that casual lip kissing and collaborative pink speedo wearing happens, and his budding romance with Jonna of Team Cancun could have both gameplay and sexual benefits.  He also single-handedly (more like full-bodily, we saw the sweat) prevented Crazy Drunk Frank from being sent home during one of those really scary, really uncomfortable Frank blowouts.  Real World: San Diego Zach may have been pissed at his hairy (and in awesome shape, way to go Frank) teammate, but Challenge Zach was cool (like an autumn breeze) under pressure.

5. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 8 of 16

I really like Chet.  Last week I mentioned that Chet “gets along with the right important people, seems to be a really nice dude, has a great female teammate in Sarah,” but this week Chet showed a different side to his awesome self that I didn’t know he even had: master strategist.  His realization convo with Sarah that the dead weight on Team Brooklyn (my analysis of Devyn seemed to be pitch perfect, thank you very much) does not have to bring down his potential lethal pairing with newly blonde Sarah who is, after five challenges, even hungrier for her first win.  Chet said to Sarah, “If you and I go (to the finals), we are a team.  We just need to focus on us.”  Look for Devyn and J.D. to find themselves in the arena together sometime soon.  Also, props to Chet for the line of the episode: “To be quite honest, most of the people here are total idiots.”

6. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 10 of 16

Derek continued to impress and is very much a vital member of what looks like the most functional foursome team of this season.  His strong individual relationships with C.J., Jonna, and Jasmine were a major underestimation of my preseason rankings.

7. Brandon (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 5 of 16

His team d-qued and lost the challenge all because of Eric, but if he had gone into the arena against Wes, I don’t think he would have been able to destroy him as Eric did.  I think Brandon can be a great supporting player, but I am just not sure yet if he has leading man potential.

8. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 12 of 16

I should have known from his awkwardly possessive existence in St. Thomas (see: whenever Laura was in the same room as another guy) that Trey is someone who needs control of his world.  I also should have known that when Trey is competitive he is at his best (when Trey is on an island with six roommates he is at his worst I guess?).  Competitive Trey is alive in well in Turkey.  His gaming led him to a short-lived alliance with Wes and drew the suspicion of the powered Cancun squad.  Although C.J.’s vitriol for Wes may have saved St. Thomas’ rookie sacrificial destiny for a week, clearly Trey came to The Challenge to win.

9. Danny (Team Austin) – Last week: 15 of 16

Danny made this week’s biggest male jump in these polls largely by surviving the first elimination.  Admittedly, he seems to be the best version of himself (the guy I really connected to in Real World: Austin) again and has a “Challenge stalwart Brad really deserves this win more than anyone” vibe going from a few seasons ago.  Brad’s team did win and it wouldn’t be crazzzzzzzy if the same thing happened here.  Notwithstanding, he is only alive in the game because Wes went into the arena and now must play the rest of The Challenge with his ex-wife as his only teammate.  Tough.

10. Eric (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 7 of 16

I got to give Big Easy some credit.  I am not sure it was possible to have both the worst (he is just not made to climb rope ladders) and best (his bull run of Wes may have been almost as good as CT’s body slamming of Johnny Bananas) performance in a given week.  His challenge showing had to drop him down a few slots and it is likely that there will be other events that he may not be able to complete in, but man, Easy, no one in this game (Alton 2.0?) can beat him in strength.  More impressive, I thought he handled Cara Maria’s brief pre-arena anxiety meltdown with the an appropriate response (“Hey, I am trying to prepare mentally here…”).  He is a smaller, leaner version of himself (70 pounds lighter) and after a major blunder in the challenge, maybe he will ride the arena momentum and continue to knock more opponents down.  Only time will tell.

11. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 16

Take it away, Devyn: “J.D. is kind of creepy.”  I am sorry, I am just not sure what to make of you yet, and now that Chet and Sarah can do their own thing, I am not sure how long you are for this game.

12. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 13 of 16

It was a quiet first week for Robb with two “B’s.”  He did what he had to do in the challenge and will continue to do so, wouldn’t let Crazy Drunk Frank get in his face, but he seems a little lost in the social/strategic shuffle.  He definitely contrasted Trey’s “let’s kick it” game demeanor.  Robb is a good man and I hope he comes out of Turkey with some of his sanity intact.

13. Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week 11 of 16

If Knight can’t stay away from Jemmye drama (so far there is no evidence that he will ever be able to), his days are numbered.

14. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 14 of 16

Jacoby did great work on Crazy Drunk Frank in his GRFL Column this week and said it better than I could ever hope to.  My additional take is that until Frank can show me that he can control the crazy, he will be a MAJOR liability to a potentially sleeper team.  Frank even lacks confidence in himself, “I have absolutely no filter, so I am not going to be great at stopping myself, ever.” C’mon Frank.  Keep it together.  You are a good man.

15. Preston (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 16 of 16

Knight, sarcastically, calls Preston “the most intimidating competitor” and “one of those people that he doesn’t like something, he quits on it.”  To Preston’s credit, he completed the challenge after some initial difficulty.  This is certainly admirable, but as Preston said in his first interview, “I am not good at anything.  For me, my personal challenge is to keep my heart in it.”  His supremely flawed and dysfunctional group will not make his journey any easier.  His placement at the bottom is unrivaled.

ELIMINATED: Wes (Team Austin) – Last week: 2/16

Biggest Rise: Danny (Team Austin)

Biggest Fall: Eric (Team Fresh Meat)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 2 of 16

2. Camila (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 1 of 16

Sarah’s flip with Camila may be a bit more about an inevitable fall for the Brazilian reigning champ  after her team loss and brief pre-arena dysfunction than about anything that the savvy Challenge veteran did, but as mentioned before, her immediate recognition that she and Chet could dominate as two must not go unnoticed.  Could this be her Olajuwon 1994/1995 seasons, filling the void left by Evelyn, Paula, and JEK world?  Camila, on the other hand, was mostly relegated to the editing/producorial sidelines (I felt the absence of her Bananas’ Exes dynamic), but the competitor in her is alive in well – Big Easy and Cara Maria be warned: if you don’t pull your weight on Team Fresh Meat, Camila is not afraid to get out the grill and do some sauteeing.

3. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 4 of 16

Of all my accurate preseason rankings (and there were several fails), the Cancun girls may be my most successful.  Jonna showed real Challenge promise on Rivals, but now seems primed to take it up to another level.  Let’s review her acumen in episode 1: part of the winning power team, decided that she was into the best looking guy (although not my jam) in the house, had the unprecedented courtesy to break off her budding relationship with her GBH (guy back home) before she and Zach took a leap, was on the right side of Frank’s blowout (protecting Zach and understanding that Frank could be San Diego’s downfall), and continuing to compete for the most disparate name spelling/pronunciation in cast (Jemmye is her main competition).  Jonna will go far in this game and now knowing that her Jasmine ties can be severed without her own demise, watch out other teams.  Plus, she seems to believe that she “needs the money more than anyone else.”  If this is true, in it to win it she is.

4. Cara Maria (Team Fresh Meat) – Last week: 3 of 16

Cara Maria’s Boston roots, her love of horses, her obvious sweetness, her unconventional but gorgeous good looks, and her always “just a little nervous about everything” affect have always endeared her to me.  I thought the “Carley Johnson” under armor wear mix-up fit the narrative perfectly.  As did her mini-meltdown pre-arena, her arena dominance over competition (poor Lacey), and her post win reconciliation interaction with Camila that came in the form of a boundary pushing dance.  Cara Maria or Camila can only go as far as Big Easy can climb (tough), and Cara Maria may not have the ruthless competitiveness to beat out her female teammate.  In the interim, I am grateful for her presence in my Battle of the Seasons experience.

5. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 5 of 16

Besides one Jasmine “Are you talking to me”/pugnacious burst during the Frank melee, she kept her cool and seemed thrilled to be in the supportive/winning culture of Team San Diego.  She even acknowledges her weaknesses now: “I have to prove that I can be cool, calm, and collected.” If she continues to play within her game, acknowledges and harnesses her weaknesses, and keeps away from Alton’s body, she is heading to the finals (her cigarette smoking stupidity may not match the Sahara dry heat too well, same goes for you Jonna, Alton, etc).

6. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 16

I give Sam all the credit in the world for choosing to ride the Frank Tsunami out, especially his pointed and demeaning comment about her GBH (girl back home).  Now that Zach-ley/Ash-ary is no more, she can be the female counterpart to Zach in Team Cancun (a winning place to be).  I also really appreciated her visible support for other teams during the challenge.  As much as Frank will rub the world the wrong way, she could rub the other teams the right way (although some last minute intel from an inside source may say the opposite).

7. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 10 of 16

8. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 12 of 16

Not much action from these two (a preview of a future Nany fight), but I will say this, they both seem more ready to compete than I expected.  Trishelle (a professional poker player since we last saw her) is NOT Tonya 2.0 (a trajectory that had some potential a few years ago) and seems to be happy to be in a drama-less Team Las Vegas amalgamum with Alton MJ and Dustin Pippen.  If Nany and Trishelle can be Ron Harper and Robert Horry, I feel pretty good about my preseason favorite to win the whole thing.

9. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 16

10. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 7 of 16

It didn’t take Frank long to break out the “you never open up to us” diatribe to Ashley.  We have seen this before (see almost every episode of Real World: San Diego), but what made this time different?  Zach now sides with Frank, and, if Jonna and Zach continues to be a thing, Ashley will be on her own island of one.

11. Melinda (Team Austin) – Last week: 9 of 16

Goodbye, Lacey.  Goodbye, Wes.  Hello new life for Melinda?  I know she dropped this week (losing a teammate like Wes will do that), but her “all-in” alliance with her ex-husband had an indescribable charm.

12. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 13 of 16

Yep, you may want to think about getting along with Trey, Marie.  Good call.

13. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 11 of 16

14. McKenzie (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 14 of 16

15. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 15 of 16

Jemmye seems to be a mess in Knight’s presence again, McKenzie likes to sunbath, and Devyn doesn’t work out.  It is not a matter of how, but when with these three.

ELIMINATED:

Lacey (Team Austin) – Last week: 16/16

Biggest Rise: Nany (Team Las Vegas)

Biggest Fall: Ashley (Team San Diego)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 4.25, last week: 5.75 (2nd)

CJ (3), Jonna (3), Jasmine (5), Derek (6)

They won the challenge, eliminated Wes, Jasmine kept herself mostly grounded, and Jonna began a potentially fruitful alliance with Zach and Team San Diego.  It was a incredible week for this mid-level contender.  Jonna: “The four members of my team, we are like family.”

2. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 4.5, last week: 6.5 (3rd)

Alton (1), Dustin (2), Trishelle (7), Nany (8)

Alton and Dustin made a strong connection (very bad news for the field).  Nany aptly recognized that as two different Real World seasons combined, there are “starting fresh” and this will have its advantages.

3. TEAM FRESH MEAT Average: 5.75, last week: 4 (1st)

Camila (2), Cara Maria (4), Brandon (7), Eric (10)

Team Fresh Meat is certainly a weird mix and Eric’s challenge liability is a real concern, but maybe their late addition to the show didn’t give them time to fully gel.  We will get a better sense this week how this talented crew will fair long-term in this game.

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 8, last week: 8.5 (5th)

Sarah (1), Chet (5), JD (11), Devyn (15)

Team Brooklyn is only successful as its weakest player.  Therefore, saying goodbye to JD and Devyn is required for Sarah and Chet to go far.

5. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 8.5, last week: 8.25 (4th)

Zach (4), Sam (6), Ashley (10), Frank (14)

This season’s enigma team whose self-combustion (I am looking at you Frank) is a real concern.  If they can keep it together, they have the athleticism to compete, but this is a BIG if.

6. TEAM AUSTIN Average: 10, last week: 10.5 (6th)

Melinda (11), Danny (9), Eliminated: Wes, Lacey

Danny and Melinda, now free of the shadow of Wes and his shady reputation, could stay below the radar for a little while.  They must do well in challenges and stay out of the arena (thanks Admiral Obvious).

7. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 10.25, last week: 11.5 (7th)

Laura (9), Trey (8), Robb (12), Marie (12)

They got through week 1 without facing an elimination.  I am not sure they will have the same luck in week 2 unless Trey can continue to work his strategy game to an advantage.

8. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 13.75, last week: 13 (8th)

Knight (13), Jemmye (13), McKenzie (14), Preston (15)

I would not be surprised if the arena this week feature a pair from Team New Orleans

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

T – 1   CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 3, Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 3

T – 3   CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 4, Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4

T – 5   Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4.5, Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5, Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4.5, Brandon and Camila (Team Fresh Meat) Average: 4.5

T – 8   Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5, Zach and Sam (Team San Diego) Average: 5

Finally, because you only get one “This season on…” per season, I thought it would be important to note the moments that stand out in this glorious 30 second trailer.

This is what I saw:

  • J.D flying out of a plane (will he be Sarah’s final challenge partner?)
  • Knight suggestively lying on Trishelle.  Trishelle says, “It would be better if you were lying under the covers naked..”
  • A kiss between Big Easy and Devyn (unexpected!)
  • Kissing between Jonna and Zach and Ashley looking sad
  • Frank ragging on Dustin for his porn career past.  Nany comes to his defense.  Dustin and Frank have an altercation.
  • Zach getting in Alton’s face (bad move cowboy).
  • “This place will drive you crazy,” says Jasmine.  At least she knows.
  • Robb with two “Bs” and Derek having a physical battle (very bizarre) and then Marie coming to his defense by attacking Derek.  “I am not going to sit here and let you push my man.”
  • “You are officially entering no-man’s land.” says T.J. Lavin in what looks like the Sahara Desert.

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM EST on Wednesday night on MTV when the battle continues!!!!

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons Weekly Power Rankings – Week 1

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Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come.  It has now been 167 long and (certainly at times) hard fought days since Team Johnny Bananas and Camila killed it and beat the competition to win The Challenge: Battle of the Exes.  Upon completion of this aptly named “Viking Quest” up a frigid and frightening Icelandic peak, Camila and (especially) Johnny sat on top of the Challenge mountain.  This was the second straight and fourth total win for Mr. Bananas (accumulating an awe-inspiring $266,543 along the way – thank you wikipedia) and the Bunim(RIP)-Murray produced franchise needed to go in a new direction away from the JEK dynasty, CT, and Paula Walnuts this time around.  The unofficial fifth major American professional sport has chosen a cast that will offer some new unproven competitors (I promise you, if you watch an episode, you will hear at least one reference to someone being a “good competitor”) and some unsuccessful veterans a chance to prove themselves.

So what does that mean in terms of numbers for The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons (2012) (debuting tonight at 10 PM EST on MTV)?  Here are some quick stats:

  • Of the 32 contestants, 15 are rookies, 5 have been on only 1 season, and 4 have been on only 2 seasons.
  • Unlike in previous challenges, there are few established veterans.  Wes (6 challenges) and Sarah (5 challenges) have the had the longest tenures.
  • There are 3 entire teams where all 4 people are rookies.
  • 6 of the 8 teams have at least 1 rookie.

For you Challenge newbies out there, here is what you need to know to catch up:

Originally an offset of the Real World and Road Rules, The Challenge allows past cast members to extend their fifteen minutes of fame to sometimes unprecedented heights and compete in a series of elimination competitions that all lead to a death defying (I wish I were kidding) final challenge (Have you seen the clips this year?  Was that the Sahara desert?).  The team or individuals who wins the final challenge win a fair amount of money.  T. J. Lavin has been the stalwart and often heroic host for many years now (“He killed it!”) and he will be your guide along the way.  This year, the contestants were liberally chosen from eight past Real World casts (two people from each of two Las Vegas casts were merged into one team) and one conglomeration from three of the challenges many iterations called Fresh Meat I and II and Spring Break Challenge (these people were never actually on The Real World) into eight teams of four.  Beyond that, the specific rules will be revealed by T.J. during the episodes.  In habitual Challenge tradition, rookies are at the bottom of the totem pole and veterans dominate like Women’s USA Basketball at the Olympics.  What will make this year so interesting is that some of the best veterans are gone and the ones remaining are stuck with some of the least proven, greenest contestants.  Oh, and I forgot to mention – unlike say the NFL or the NBA where you watch the games, The Challenge is about watching the games and watching all of the political and emotional debauchery that goes on surrounding the games in their posh IKEAed digs in fill-in the blank remote locale (this year will take place in Turkey – unexpected).

To further establish The Challenge as the unofficial fifth major American professional sport, I will introduce the inaugural Weekly Challenge Power Rankings – Individual and then Team.  For now, my rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings column starting sometime next month).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”  Below are my preseason rankings.  I have separated them into three categories MEN (seem to always dominate), WOMEN (seem to always follow the men with a few exceptions), and TEAM (particularly relevant this time).

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS 

THE MEN

“Not sure why you signed up”

16. Preston (RW: New Orleans)

For the life of me, I have no idea why Preston was chosen from the New Orleans cast.  Clearly Ryan (the body blowdryer) was not going to make the trip back to TV, but was Eric that established as a real person to pass up a free trip to Turkey?  You may remember Preston (a Boston resident when filming in NOLA) from his suspect use of Ryan’s toothbrush.  It is not that I don’t dig Preston – we got along mostly – I am just not sure that The Challenge is the right venue for him.

“Will he ever win?”

15. Danny (RW: Austin)

Poor Danny (also a Boston resident – we miss you CT).  He is recently divorced from fellow competitor Melinda (also an Austin vet) and he has been a proven disaster in his first five challenge seasons.  His team seems to be ready made for dysfunction and his past appearances do not lead me to believe otherwise.  He can always turn it around, but a low preseason ranking is well deserved.

“The Rookie Wall”

14. Frank (RW: San Diego)

13. Robb (RW: St. Thomas)

12. Trey (RW: St. Thomas)

11. Knight (RW: New Orleans)

Here are four untested unknowns that all have some potentially problematic relationship issues with their teammates.  Last week, we just got off the Trey/Laura drama boat that was St. Thomas and after the really unexpected blowout between Robb with two “Bs” and Marie at the reunion special, I do not expect much cuddle time from these two.  Frank (head-banded sometimes angry gent) from San Diego is apparently a great dude (someone I trust told me this and I completely believe it), but I can surmise that being in close quarters with Zach and Ashley again (it just did not work) and some of these other individuals (I can’t picture Frank having much to do with Danny or Wes) is a good thing.  Knight and Jemmye with money on the line is like watching the Sacramento Kings try to establish an unselfish, offensive flow – complete disaster.

“Underdogs with some potential”

10. Derek (RW: San Diego)

9. JD (RW: Brooklyn)

8. Chet (RW: Brooklyn)

All have had positive (although unsuccessful) showings on their first challenges.  I remember Derek especially stepping out of his caddy Real World persona.  Chet (always rocking great hipster glasses) could be a real sleeper.  He gets along with the right important people, seems to be a really nice dude, has a great female teammate in Sara, and will only perform better under both physical and social pressure.  I look at him as being in a similar place as Tyler (RW Key West) was. After a few unsuccesful seasons, big T figured out his Challenge grand strategy through a good social game and lots of eating (He and Johnny won Rivals on account of an even distribution of both of these factors).  JD I know little about beyond that he is on a team with Chet and Sarah (Reggie Jackson is only benefiting from spending days in practice with KD and Westbrook – you know what I mean?).

“The Wildcard”

7. Eric (Fresh Meat)

Commonly known as “Big Easy” because of his un-challenged on The Challenge size (a bigger man, although Vinny was packing the pounds for Exes), B.E. has been a liability on final challenges because of endurance or before final challenges because teammates are worried about endurance issues.  After a few seasons off, is he now in better shape?  He can only benefit from a very strong team of supportive people who will not belittle and insult the man (I am looking at you Johnny Bananas and Laurel) when he is passing out.  The jury is still out on Big Easy.

“Great on paper…”

6. Zach (RW: San Diego)

5. Brandon (Fresh Meat II)

4. CJ (RW: Cancun)

3. Dustin (RW: Las Vegas II)

This is an interesting group of men.  Zach pretty much went on the Real World so he could compete in The Challenge.  He was built (and certainly works out enough) for the physical demands of this serious physical competition.  Brandon, although ultimately unsuccessful, came into his own on Rivals and showed that he is going to be tough to beat in an elimination (if they end up having them).  CJ was close to making the NFL (albeit as a punter) and Dustin is uber-competitive and may just be the Scottie to teammate Alton’s MJ (more on that in a bit).  All four of these guys are only going to be as good as the people around them.  Look for Brandon and Dustin to be the most successful out of this group.

“The disliked, misunderstood veteran”

2. Wes (RW: Austin)

Poor Wes.  Although maybe more arrogant than anyone I have ever seen on TV and so often without means to back it up, I sometimes feel that Wes got screwed over in these Challenge glory years because he was the opposition to the JEK Empire.  I will give him one thing – if The Challenge was determined by who thought he should win the most, Wes would always win.  Although they have watched him and should know his mind games and dirty tricks by now, Wes should feast on the vulnerability of the rookies and use them to his competitive advantage.  Unfortunately, his team is already ready to completely fall apart (and thank you Lacey for probably adding close to nothing), but sometimes Wes is at his best when he is up against a ten foot wall.  Similar to the common angle on my NBA viewing, I am all about the vets who have been through the rodeo before and I think I may (gulp) find myself rooting for the ginger-haired Adonis (in his mind) this time around.

“The superstar coming out of retirement”

1. Alton (RW: Las Vegas I)

Many of you new Challenge viewers will not remember Alton (he was last on The Inferno 3 in 2007).  All I can say is, watch out competition.   Alton is the MJ of Challenge lore.  It would be like if MJ retired in 1993, but instead of coming back in 1995 against largely the same competition, he came back in 2002 to show upstarts like Mr. Bryant and Mr. Iverson just whose league it really was (ironically, this is what he ended up doing with the Wizards).  Alton is a physical specimen (pre Challenge steroid era), super competitive, and a really nice guy.  He is in Turkey for one reason only – to win.  The question is will he be able to bring his teammates along (a la 1991 Jordan) for the ride?  Also, is Nany then his Kwame Brown?  If so, does that make Trishelle his Jud Buechler?

THE WOMEN

“Not sure why you signed up”

16. Lacey (RW: Austin)

15. Devyn (RW: Brooklyn)

14. McKenzie (RW: New Orleans)

I am really not sure why any of these three Challenge rookies are here – Lacey because she was miserable on the Real World, Devyn because I mistakenly missed the Brooklyn season so I admittedly know nothing about her, and McKenzie because I am not sure she was made for athletic competition.  Good luck, ladies.  Devyn does have Sarah (so hungry after the Vinny technicality last season) on her team so I wouldn’t be surprised if she eventually rises in the rankings.

“The Rookie Wall”

13. Marie (RW: St. Thomas)

12. Nany (RW: Las Vegas II)

11. Jemmye (RW: New Orleans)

I can honestly picture all three of these Challenge rookies being pretty good athletes, but like TNT’s mid oughts marketing campaign, they know DRAMA.  Their success will be determined by how well they handle the drama, how much drama they create for others, and how well their male counterparts handle their drama.  Both Jemmye (pronounced Jiiiiiimmy in your best souther drawl) and Marie can put an undo burden on their men (Knight and Robb with two “Bs” respectively).  Look for Nany (carried by the Alton and Dustin juggernaut) to make it the longest of this group.

“Old baggage”

10. Trishelle (RW: Las Vegas I)

9. Melinda (RW: Austin)

It has been a tough post Real World public journey for these two Challenge veterans.  After finishing her hot mess of a first (she came Back to Vegas for a second time years later) season in Las Vegas’ transformational Real World when production’s focus went from “let’s show them go to a cool job” to “let’s show them live in a casino and go to a cool nightclub in the Palms,” Trishelle extended her fifteen and D list stardom by dabbling in taking her clothes off in bad films and taking her clothes off in other reality TV shows (try a “Trishelle Surreal Life” google search and see what pops up) , but it has been a while since we have seen her in MTV land.  Melinda married and divorced Danny – enough said.  One can guess that both are here on The Challenge this season to not only win money but to win back some dignity.  Sadly, they didn’t get the memo that The Challenge may not be the best place for such a goal.

“Underdogs with some potential”

8. Laura (RW: St. Thomas)

7. Ashley (RW: San Diego)

6. Sam (RW: San Diego)

These three rookies seem like they were meant for The Challenge and that may be why watching them on The Real World was so difficult sometimes.   You may remember Ashley as Zach’s boring gym buddy who seemed to be training for Turkey while in San Diego.  She and Zach made a great team on the elliptical machine of their lives, so why not on The Challenge?  Sam is an interesting case because she did butt heads with both Zach and Ashley on their season, but I have a feeling that she will be a beast in challenges and has a such a great bond with Frank which could offset Team San Diego dysfunction.  Laura would have been ranked much lower, but her feisty showing at the RW: St. Thomas reunion last week and her seemingly renewed sexual relationship with Trey may have started in Turkey.  She may do well because she is a guy’s girl and will be able to stay out of girl drama.

“The Melting Pot”

5. Jasmine (RW: Cancun)

4. Jonna (RW: Cancun)

Seeing Jasmine ranked no. 5 may be the most surprising thing about these preseason power rankings.  Jasmine in the past two challenges has won the competition for both “most wine glasses thrown on the floor” and “most wine glasses thrown at other people.”  So why is she here?  She is here for three reasons: 1) because she and Jonna (pronounced Jon-ay, yep weird) were a relatively functional team on Rivals (think a poor man’s Cara Maria and Laurel); 2) at this point she is one of five or six most veteran girls and this does mean something; and 3) Tyrie (the recipient of many a wine glass toss) is nowhere to be found.  If Jasmine can keep it together and if Jonna can keep Jasmine together, her real craziness may be kept in check.  On the other hand, Jasmine still ranks no. 2 for “the person who is most likely to go home for a reason other than losing a challenge” behind McKenzie who could leave unexpectedly because she got “too overwhelmed”  (Jasmine would leave because she would Challenge illegally hit Jemmye or Frank).

“The unlucky, misunderstood veterans”

3. Cara Maria (Fresh Meat II)

2. Sarah (RW: Brooklyn)

Sarah has been unlucky (as mentioned, see the Vinny debacle on Battle of the Exes) and Cara Maria has been at times misunderstood (she did not get along with the JEK dynasty or Wes), but they both have been through some serious adversity on these shows and are ready to take the Camila leap (on Exes).  It is possible that format and teammates will hold them back, but both of them are going to be supportive and positive members of their respective teams and will unquestionably treat others better than they have been treated.  It will be a pleasure to see them both (and Camila for that matter) out from under the JEK shadow and for Cara Maria, free from the trials of and tribulations of her relationship (I really think they are adorable) with spontaneous body-tattooing beau, Abram.

“The Returning Champion”

1. Camila (Spring Break Challenge)

Camila pulled a LeBron in the spring of 2012 and with Johnny Bananas (I will miss you, JB) climbed the Iceland tundra to the Exes money pot.  Will she be able to repeat?  Unlike partner Johnny who is game for anything physical, she is going to have to motivate and push Brandon, Eric, and Cara Maria to reach their fullest potential.  As long as she leaves her crazy drunk and mascara messy self at the door, this could really happen for Team Challenge Only.

THE TEAMS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings.  Teams with the lowest total score are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible).

8. TEAM NEW ORLEANS – 62 pts

Knight (11), Jemmye (11), McKenzie (14), Preston (16)

7. TEAM ST. THOMAS – 46 pts

Laura (8), Trey (12), Robb (13), Marie (13)

6. TEAM AUSTIN – 42 pts

Wes (2), Melinda (9), Danny (15), Lacey (16)

5. TEAM BROOKLYN – 34 pts

Sarah (2), Chet (8), JD (9), Devyn (15)

4. TEAM SAN DIEGO – 33 pts

Zach (6), Sam (6), Ashley (7), Frank (14)

3. TEAM LAS VEGAS – 26 pts

Alton (1), Dustin (3), Trishelle (10), Nany (12)

2. TEAM CANCUN – 23 pts

CJ (4), Jonna (4), Jasmine (5), Derek (10)

1. TEAM FRESH MEAT – 16 pts

Camila (1), Cara Maria (3), Brandon (5), Eric (7) – NOTE: This team has not been officially announced on the MTV press, but can be seen on the preview clips.  It is possible that their inclusion may not commence immediately or will be imbedded in some kind of surprise.  Stay tuned for a full explanation after tonight’s episode.

My preseason predictions:

Final four: FRESH MEAT, LAS VEGAS, BROOKLYN, ST. THOMAS

Runner-up: BROOKLYN

Winner: LAS VEGAS

Let the games begin!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Although some may anxiously anticipate the beginning of the fall season for the return of the NFL (on the briefest of tangents…I am having serious mixed feelings this year.  See this 2009 Malcolm Gladwell article or read Bishop’s earlier post and you may know why) or the increase in apple cider options at your local supermarket, my fall excitement centers around the official return of primetime network television.  This annual pumpkin pie mush of old favorites, old not-so favorites, promising pilots that never go anywhere (see Flash ForwardThe Nine), pilots premises that are dead on arrival (last year’s The Playboy Club immediately comes to mind), and that one diamond in the rough (that amazing night in 2004 when I first saw Lost remains my most special pilot experience ever) that can become your television staple for many years to come is enough to turn my leaves some beautiful foliage colors.

In the coming days and weeks, I will be carving out my fall TV impressions – the good, the bad, and the potentially life-altering.  Thanks to my trusted EW fall TV preview (an old friend since ’96) and the inspiring words of Master Andy Greenwald of Grantland, I have been able to determine what is getting a shot, what remains a DVR mainstay, and what is just not gonna ever be watched this year…oops.

“A covering all my bases” note: I am aware that most of the best television currently being produced and my favorite shows are on basic (Mad MenBreaking Bad) or pay cable (Game of Thrones, Homeland, Girls).  I know that the chances of finding another Lost or a new comedy that I really enjoy via the big three (plus two) networks (I thought I should get my first NBC dig in early) are similar to the chances that the Miami Dolphins have of winning the AFC East this year if Ryan “competes with Brandon Weeden as the worst starting QB in the league” Tannehill remains their quarterback.

For now, here is my network by network breakdown as I enter the fall TV season:

ABC:

Returning shows that I will watch and DVR Season Pass: Revenge (last season’s surprise survivor), Modern Family

New shows that get immediate DVR Season Pass: Nashville (Connie Britton and some wonderful press), Last Resort (the new show I am most excited for – welcome back to primetime Frank Pembleton)

New shows dead on arrival: 666 Park Avenue (sorry great Terry O’Quinn), The Neighbors

CBS:

Returning shows that I will watch and DVR Season Pass: Survivor: Phillippines (I made my alliance with Jeff Probst during the finale of Season 1 in 2000 and I don’t break my alliances)

Returning shows up for 2012 Season Pass cancellation: The Amazing Race (my most inconsistent staple over the years), Person of Interest (the fact that last season’s final four episodes remain unwatched five months later says something)

New shows that get a pilot viewing chance: Vegas (I have never been too keen on Dennis Quaid), Elementary (the PBS Sherlock is so good, do I have room for a CBS procedural with Lucy “don’t get it” Liu?)

New shows dead on arrival: Partners, Made in Jersey (nope)

CW:

Returning shows…: None.  The last time I turned on the CW was to watch the new 90210 many years ago.  I am not even sure if I know more than one person who actually watches this network.

New shows that get a pilot viewing chance: Arrow (It has the worst time slot to be on, up against Survivor and The X-Factor, so I have some major doubts, but I owe a new DC character at least one shot)

New shows dead on arrival: Emily Owens, M.D., Beauty and the Beast (has there ever been a movie that I loved so much that inspired a TV show that I wanted so little to do with?)

FOX:

Returning that I will watch and DVR Season Pass: The X-Factor (Yes!  A more detailed review is coming, but so far new judges Demi Lovato and Britney Spears are doing great work…)

New shows that get immediate DVR Season Pass: The Mindy Project (Tuesday night is light on my DVR and my time with Mindy on The Office has always been splendid – this is the new comedy that has a chance to be a long-term runner)

New shows dead on arrival: The Mob Doctor (no thank you), Ben and Kate

NBC:

Returning that I will watch and DVR Season Pass: The Office (If it weren’t the final season, I would be out), Parks and Recreation30 Rock, Saturday Night Live

Returning shows up for 2012 Season Pass cancellation: The Voice (like Cee-Lo and Christina in Season 4, I think I am ready to move on)

New shows that get immediate DVR Season Pass: None

New shows that get a pilot viewing chance: Revolution (J.J. and I go way back – see Alias or Lost – but from all I have read, I am not sure I will make it to October), Go On (already tried and already failed)

New shows dead on arrival: The New Normal, Go On, Animal Practice, Guys With Kids, Chicago Fire

Finally, tomorrow night marks the return of the most important fall premiere, America’s fifth major professional sport (which could move up to third with the impending NHL lockout and the fact that MLB is at this point unwatchable), MTV’s The Challenge!  Expect a full preview tomorrow…

Until we meet again, same bat time, same bat channel…