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"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Team Previews – Aneesa and Diem

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This is the second in a series of “The Challenge: Rivals 2″ team previews that will lead into the first power rankings of the season.  Next up: Camila and Jemmye

ANEESA and DIEM

Where did we last see them? Aneesa and Diem were both last seen battling old flings on Battle of the Exes.

The Rivalry: Back in 2006 (2006!) on The Duel, Aneesa unexpectedly (“I thought we were friends!”) sent Diem into an elimination.  Diem was sent home, and, when Aneesa attempted a hug goodbye, Diem gave her “the silent treatment.”  Apparently a “rivalry” was born.

Rivalry Meter on a scale of 1-10 (where 1 is a Leroy and Mike from Rivals I “Rivalry? They’re actually really good friends” rivalry and 10 is a Kenny and Wes from Rivals I “they have hated each other for years” RIVALRY) – 2, best Rivals I comparison: Katelynn and Sarah

Highlights and Commentary from MTV bio:

“Diem recalls, ‘It’s been a long time, but once someone makes you not trust them, it’s hard to regain that.’”

Yes, Diem, it has been a long time.  As you go through the Rivals 2 pairs, producers took great liberty stretching the definition of what it means to be a rival.  Both Diem (concerning her CT relationship saga) and Aneesa (always up for a some in your face controversy) are Challenge regulars (Aneesa’s ninth, Diem’s seventh) for a reason, but their “rivalry” is farcical.  Nonetheless, welcome back ladies. 

“Since we last saw Diem in the finals of Battle of the Exes, she successfully beat ovarian cancer a second time and is now in remission. But despite her fighting spirit, Diem still struggles with confidence and reverts to old patterns when she hooks up with former flame CT!”

Friends on MTV Cast Bio writing department, Diem’s incredible and courageous fights against ovarian cancer should never be linked in such a way to her struggles with CT.  This is distasteful.

“Diem may seem angelic, but this veteran has a tilted halo…and perhaps a devil on her shoulder.” 

What does this even mean?  Is Aneesa that devil?  Is her somewhat irrational behavior every time CT is in her sights the devil?  Am I giving the MTV Cast Bio writing department (yes, I am) too much credit for creating an effective metaphor?

Best-Case Scenario: Diem and Aneesa ride some veteran relationships and elimination fearlessness to a trip to the finals.  With some past distance endurance issues (Aneesa’s smoking habit has always been a bit of a problem), a finals win seems a little far-fetched, but I could see them at least getting there.

Worst-Case Scenario: As Battle of the Seasons taught us, vet status may not be what it used to be and Aneesa and Diem are early and easy targets of the new ruling class.

The Verdict: Aneesa and Diem have always been reliable The Challenge role players, but have never been star competitors of the show (one could argue that the Diem and CT relationship has been central to the narrative at times, but it is more due to CT’s dynamic and invigorating presence and less about Diem’s television charisma).  I don’t expect a marked change here, but it will be interesting to see how Aneesa (looking incredibly fit) and Diem deal with a cast filled with many relative newcomers, some of whom have already seen more The Challenge success.  The strength of their relationships with Key Westers Johnny and Paula and whatever faction they are inevitably going to lead could determine just how far Aneesa and Diem go.  With a few very strong female pairings, I expect an elimination in the middle of the competition.

Watch the Aneesa and Diem pre-interviews here.

Other team previews:

Anastasia and Jessica

Camila and Jemmye

Cooke and Naomi

Jasmine and Theresa

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about MTV’s “The Challenge,” pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company. His weekly “The Challenge: Rivals 2” power rankings will begin the week of July 10.

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: RIVALS 2 Team Previews – Anastasia and Jessica

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This is the first in a series of “The Challenge: Rivals 2” team previews that will lead into the first power rankings of the season.  Next up: Aneesa and Diem.

ANASTASIA and JESSICA

Where did we last see them? Bird and Jess were recently seen serving frozen yogurt to locals and bonding over relative sanity (during the climactic Hurricane Nia) on Real World: Portland.

The Rivalry: Despite some end of the season commiserating during the Johnny/Averey/Nia “uncomfortable TV viewing” brawl, Bird literally broke up her friendship with Jess on the grounds of “dislike.”  Jess often found herself on the outs of the Bird and Averey friendship nest and her well-meaning attempts at confrontation were quickly dismissed.

Rivalry Meter on a scale of 1-10 (where 1 is a Leroy and Mike from Rivals I “Rivalry? They’re actually really good friends” rivalry and 10 is a Kenny and Wes from Rivals I “they have hated each other for years” RIVALRY) – 5, best Rivals I comparison: Jonna and Jasmine

Highlights and Commentary from MTV bio:

“…may be far more at home at a makeup counter than they are on the playing field…” 

Fair.  There was not a moment on the Portland season where I said, “Wow, Jess and Ana would be great contestants on The Challenge.” Notwithstanding, Jess is game for some extreme biking and both of them seem to find creative ways to serve frozen yogurt, so there’s that.

“This team quickly makes waves when Anastasia hooks up with one of the game’s most notorious troublemakers, infuriating another girl in the house.”

As season trailers have deliciously previewed, Bird and the Mighty CT seem to have a little romantic tryst that leads to some violent Bird to CT face clawing.  Challenge rookies are often easily swooned by the aura of Boston’s finest Challenge competition killer, but it always seems to end in flames.  I have a feeling that this Bird will be on fire.

“Will Anastasia’s new romance win her a valuable ally? Or will this pair of princesses melt down in a hurry?” 

CT just wants to win, still has a unique and indescribable bond with Diem, and is not easily pulled in too far to “extracurricular nighttime activities.”  My money, as is most often Challenge rookie (especially female) tradition, is on a hurried melt down.

Best-Case Scenario: Wes and CT recruit a rookie/sophomore alliance allowing Jess and Ana to avoid early eliminations.  If they make some friends and score a top four women team finish, it will be a successful first season.

Worst-Case Scenario: Resentment from an Ana/CT dalliance creates an even bigger rookie target and they are thrown into a first elimination.

The Verdict: One thing that was clear throughout Real World: Portland and is accentuated in the most memorable moment of all Rivals 2 preview clips, Anastasia (watch yourself CT) and Jessica (as Jordan can attest) are fighters.  They both do not easily back down, and, despite some likely “competitor” shortcomings and rookie inexperience, they will at least not be steamrolled by veteran alliance target practice.  The best thing for them to do here, in their first Challenge, is to make some connections with Challenge neo power players (the Jonna/Nany team could be a good place to start) that will serve them in future competitions.  One additional note: their sometimes tumultuous relationship with Jordan and Marlon could be a detriment to their success (think some of Team St. Thomas struggles between Marie and Trey in Battle of the Seasons).  Jordan and Marlon are going to be an athletic force that will be looking to make their own waves and past goodwill built on Jessica’s infamous “thirsty and junk” recording session will only get you so far in Thailand when real money is at stake.

Watch the Anastasia and Jessica pre-interviews here.

Other team previews:

Aneesa and Diem

Camila and Jemmye

Cooke and Naomi

Jasmine and Theresa

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about MTV’s “The Challenge,” pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company. His weekly “The Challenge: Rivals 2” power rankings will begin the week of July 10.

Blog Posts, NBA

Draft Nights

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On the night of June 24, 1998, I flew a transatlantic flight from Boston to Frankfurt, Germany en route to a most wonderful three week high school trip through Prague, Krakow, and Berlin.  This European expedition was one of the most formidable experiences of my high school years, solidifying and furthering my passions for history, travel, and white chocolate magnum bars.  I have some striking memories from the trip – winning a competitive ultimate frisbee game on a field by Hradcany Castle, alluding locals on a paddle boat on the Vltava River, entering a gas chamber at Auschwitz, sitting alone for hours in Wenceslas Square people watching – yet the one memory that has stuck with me the longest and now, fifteen years later, will forever be the most significant, occurred in the terminal at Logan Airport waiting for our flight.

Although thrilled and privileged to be able to travel to Europe in such a way, a part of me was disappointed that I would miss most of the NBA draft.  Probably second to only Christmas Eve growing up, the NBA draft was my favorite night of the year.  My die hard Celtics fandom began at the earliest of ages (few four year olds remember the 1986 title run so well) and especially since the Bird (1992), McHale (1993), and Parish (1994) departures, the NBA draft represented a glimmer of hope for the Celtics to find their way again as the most storied and successful franchise in professional sports.  Some recent horrible selections of useless stiffs (hello Acie Earl and Eric Montross) followed by the M.L. Carr tank-a-thon in 1996-1997 in a failed attempt to have a shot at Tim Duncan (five four titles in San Antonio later) led Boston to bring in what was thought to be (I was genuinely excited) our great savior.  Rick Pitino jumped on board as coach, president, vice president, media instigator, player agitator, and impatience advocate in 1997 hoping to steer the Tim Duncan bandwagon, but found himself instead with the third and sixth picks.  He selected Chauncey Billups third (but promptly traded him in February for Kenny Anderson because Pitino didn’t like Billups’ progress as a point guard and leader – Billups went on to be an All-Star, NBA Finals MVP, and Hall of Fame candidate) and Ron Mercer sixth (an overall disappointing NBA career plagued by injuries).  Along with Antoine Walker, the enigmatic, wiggly, lovable, super talented, four point shot proponent, the Celtics entered the 1998 Draft on what seemed to be a promising upswing.

Back at the airport on the night of June 24, the Celtics had the tenth pick, and I remember hoping that I would be there to see it on one of the bar TVs near our gate.  Our flight was at 8:30, so, depending on what time we boarded, I wasn’t sure we were going to be there for it.  Many prognosticators predicted the great Paul Pierce to be selected second by the host city Grizzlies (in Vancouver at the time) or third by Denver.  I remember hoping that we would get a player like Bryce Drew from Valparaiso (he played the role of Cinderella in a memorable game in the 1998 NCAA tournament) or Pat Garrity from Notre Dame who was essentially Steve Novak 1.0.  It was inconceivable that a collegiate stud like Pierce would be available at 10.  After Vancouver selected Mike Bibby at 2 and Denver selected Pierce’s Kansas (and future Celtics) teammate Raef LaFrentz at 3, the remote possibility of Pierce becoming a Celtic began to take flight.  The next four selections (Antawn Jamison to Toronto and then Vince Carter to Golden Slate, traded for each other later that night, followed by the late Robert Traylor to the Mavs, Jason Williams to the Kings) filled specific needs for those specific teams (or so I thought).  There was no way that Philadelphia at no. 8 would let a potential All-Star like Pierce go by.  I remember heading into Philly’s pick thinking that maybe the Celtics could get this big German kid who reminded some of Larry Bird if Milwaukee passed (see Dirk Nowitzki – also traded that night to Dallas in exchange for the rights to Tractor Traylor).  When David Stern’s “with the eighth pick in the 1998 NBA Draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select Larry Hughes” echoed through the Logan Airport lounge, the opportunity to get Pierce (or at least the promising Nowitzki, little did we all know) finally became real.  Milwaukee selected Dirk, and then, this beautiful moment happened, just minutes before I had to board my flight (too bad I missed the Pistons pick Bonzi Wells at 11)…

Last night, painfully and appropriately on the night of the 2013 NBA Draft, Paul Pierce was no longer a member of the Boston Celtics (I am aware that the actual deal cannot be consummated until July 10, but this agreement is as good as done).  As a person who literally grew from a boy to a man during these past fifteen (at times tumultuous, but ultimately so rewarding) years, this era of my life symbolically has come to a close.  Thank you Paul for embodying what it truly means to be a Boston Celtic.

For some Celtics fans, their most formative Celtics eras were led by Cousy and Sharman, Russell, Havlicek and Cowens, or Bird, McHale, and Parish.  My Celtics were led by Paul Pierce.  We will miss you, no. 34.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about MTV’s The Challenge, pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company.

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

CHALLENGEMANIA: The Road to Rivals II – Winners, Losers, and Questions

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To continue to tease our already overwhelming appetite for all things The Challenge in preparation for the July 10 season premiere of Rivals II (and to shamelessly cross-promote some shows called Girl Code and Guy Code that I admittedly had never heard of), MTV aired a one hour The Challenge part retrospective and part new season preview.  Hosted by the modern MTV and Jersey royalty tandem of Challenge stalwart Kenny “Mr. Beautiful” Santucci and Nicole “Snooki? Now that I am half my original size, I go my Nicole now, bitches!” Polizzi, the hour was mostly an exercise in historically bad cue card reading (more on this in a bit), unnecessary opinions from Girl and Guy Code cast members that nobody asked for, and clips from MTV’s pre-HD past.  Despite mostly  “I wish I had fast forwarded over this” filler, there were some important takeaways, some charming former Challenge cast member commentary, and a second season preview scored to the fiery furor of Nico Vega’s “Fury Oh Fury.”  Before we delve into brief analysis of matters of consequence, here are some quick take winners, losers, and questions posed by ChallengeMania: the Road to Rivals II.

Question: What happened to Snooki?  Beyond her incredibly gaunt and emaciated appearance (she’s been working out apparently), the author and mother of one didn’t seem her usual “hot mess” of a self.  Her affect felt flat, disengaged, and enigmatic.  I never thought of Snooki as talented in any way beyond being a unique individual in a reality TV world of mostly personality repetition and replication, but now I know that acting or in any way improvising should not be a her next career move…ever.  Poor Kenny struggled to get through her feeble attempts at banter and seemed so relieved when Paula Walnuts came on stage toward the end of the taping.  I thought Snooki always had a degree (I am stretching a little bit here) of charisma and perhaps maybe a little charm on camera, but this Snooki .5 is a depressing figure.

Loser – Snooki, the cue card reader – Snooki should not be reading cue cards.  Period.

Other lingering Snooki questions:  Why does she seem so obsessed with Johanna?  Does she really watch The Challenge?  Where is her baby during the taping of this show?  Is she serious when she says she is working out to be on a future Challenge?  At this point, is Snooki a human?

Losers – The writers of all dialogue between Kenny and Snooki – Tough moment for MTV writers.  If their aim was to make Kenny and Snooki sound as unnatural and fake as possible, mission accomplished.  This was a disaster.

Winners – The viewer while watching classic clips – It brought great joy to loyal The Challenge fans to reminisce and recall classic moments and people from a wonderful, twenty three season history.

Question: With Evan, Kenny, and Tonya featured prominently in retrospective clips, did MTV have to run this by legal before airing?  Since the settlement, Kenny and Evan have not been back on The Challenge.  Was this a never made public part of this agreement?  Why else would two all-time greats be kept off recent seasons?

Winners – Promos for the new season – Bananas is back!  CT is back!  Camila is unstable!  If these teasers don’t get you pumped, nothing will.

Winners – The great fights retrospective  – I vividly remember the genuinely scary CT and Adam melee (Isaac as an initial peacemaker may not have been the best call), but I had forgotten about the Wes and Evelyn room assault and the Katie battle with topless Veronica.  Watching Evelyn stomp around and destroy plants while Wes tells Johnny he is the “worst person in the world” is priceless television.

Loser – The making out segment and the terrible elevator music that accompanies it – This was a few too many levels of awkward.

Loser – Brad’s wedgie meltdown – Poor Brad.  Although he will be inducted into The Challenge hall of fame (although not on the first ballot), his wedgie reaction is not the best of looks.

Winner – The Miz – Only a WWE superstar can get away with a wedgie attack.

Winner – Sarah for her reaction to the Katie plunger meltdown – And otherwise for just being great.  Her commentary interviews are spot on.

Loser/Winner – Katie and the plunger meltdown – She is a loser for having a meltdown over a plunger.  She is a winner for finding a reason for a meltdown that seems to best match the great eccentricity of her persona on The Challenge.

Question: Why wasn’t a Katie/Veronica rival pairing included this season?  Veronica may have Challenge retired, but who wouldn’t want to see these two classic enemies play again?

Winner – Entertainment for the viewer…seeing Camila walk into a pool again on her night of crazy.  What is most remarkable to me is that Johnny and Camila won after this happens.  Of all the things Johnny Bananas has accomplished on this show, recovering from Camila’s night at Arkham Asylum may be his greatest achievement.

Winner – Jessimae Peluso – I mostly tuned out the random members of the cast of Girl Code and Guy Code who were randomly asked to become Challenge experts, but Jessimae kept bringing it with her witty insight and playful crushing on CT.  Some bio investigation garnered additional intel about her comedic beginnings in Boston (check), infatuation with John Stamos (check), and appearance on “The Tyra Banks Show” (check plus).

Winner – Paula walking us through a web of “Challenge Family Tree” connections – This was one of the more relevant (albeit unintentionally comedic) portions of the preview show.  Finding threads (even loose ones) to piece through the participants was a win for production.  Paula, unlike the little Snooki creature, can read a mean cue card and narrated this segment like a pro.

Winner – Whoever decided to call Wes a “self-proclaimed, political mastermind” – I like how with Wes, adding “self-proclaimed” to any description of him adds more authenticity.  Wes – a self-proclaimed redhead.  Wes – a self-proclaimed entrepreneur.  Wes – a self-proclaimed intellectual.

Losers – Connections that don’t actually exist – Paula connected Aneesa and Robb in her “family tree” because they both live near Philadelphia.

Losers – Rivals that have never met – I am a proponent of twitter and all, but to partner Johnny and Frank as rivals because of a twitter feud?  It may be a partnership that is great for gameplay, but it seems to take away from the sanctity of the construction of the season.

Winner – Kenny – He does professional work throughout, fending off the train wreck that is Snooki .5, maintaing great focus, managing several digs at Wes, and flooding the camera with his quintessential charisma and charm.  Could Kenny be a viable replacement for the legend of TJ Lavin if he ever decides to retire the hosting throne?

Although Paula’s connecting of the dots (“And don’t forget the four members from the cast of Portland who are connected by being new!”) flimsily weaved a rival backstory, the real fresh meat is in the showing of the original Rivals II trailer (already Zaprudered here) and the final “this season on” teaser (the real “this season on” will undoubtedly be unveiled at the end of the season premiere).  Here are a few key takeaways:

  • Anastasia seems to slap CT (not once, but twice – the second time in the back of the head) and then kick CT in the back of his legs.  Bird never struck me as such a dangerous predator while in Portland, but I guess a certain amount of time in the eye of the Nia storm will ruffle anyone’s feathers.  This is not the first time CT has been the object of someone’s uncontrollable aggression and it will certainly not be the last.
  • Speaking of fighting CT, it appears that Frank has a little run-in with him.  No one is in the least bit surprised.
  • I eagerly anticipate the interplay and strategic game manipulation of the Johnny and Frank tandem.  Maybe not the most real of rivalries, seeing them work together could be a treat of “Kenny carrying Wes on his back” proportions.
  • I can’t help myself but to kiss and tell.  Jordan and Sarah?  CT and almost Cooke?  Leroy and Emily?  Jonna and almost Jordan?  CT and Diem!

We are now less than two weeks away from The Challenge: Rivals II premiere (Wednesday, July 10 at 10/9c.  You won’t believe your eyes!).  I will be dropping a preview column and preseason power rankings before then, so stay tuned.  Until then, let me leave you with the final cue card reading improvisation catastrophe of Snooki: “Holy crap, the rivalries just keep getting more and more intense.  I’m obsessed.  Bye, we love you.”  Yep, thank you Nicole.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about The Challenge, pop culture, and the NBA for Bishop and Company.

Blog Posts, Television

The Television DVR Power Rankings (First Annual)

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I recently read two pieces that evoked some interesting ideas about the nature of our TV viewing.  Andy Greenwald, Grantland.com’s television and pop culture sensei, addressed an interesting television loyalty conundrum in his most recent mailbag column that is particularly relevant as many of us, including myself, have begrudgingly plodded most of our way to The Office series finale this week.  When is the right time to bid adieu to an old television relationship when we know that the show (and subsequently our loyal connection to its characters, host, or competition format) is no longer the same program that we originally fell for?  Why are some necessary show breakups so easy to make (American Idol when Simon left, 90210 without Brandon Walsh) while others (season five of Alias) pose such a struggle?  Alan Sepinwall, the author of The Revolution Was Televised and the most prolific of television recap pioneers, discussed how the wealth of great TV has made it harder for him to keep up with the good TV (particularly on the broadcast networks) and that many quality programs are left idle on a DVR queue.

Both Greenwald and Sepinwall highlight a burgeoning issue that these record/stream/on demand times that we now live in have created: there is just so much television viewing bandwidth that each of us has (both in terms of time and number of different storylines we can follow) and with the DVR as our tool of television viewing stratification, we have complete control over what and how we prioritize.  We are the masters of our viewing lives which means that with a close to infinite amount of time, a CBS procedural (pick any one really) could be a compelling viewing choice, but with a more limited amount of time and attention, not everything can make it out of the innards of our DVR storage attic.

With all of this in mind, I have decided to create the first annual (here’s to trying!) Television DVR Power Rankings.  Appropriately timed to coalesce with the end of the broadcast television season, the Television DVR Power Rankings will finally ask me to organize and identify the why behind the already somewhat established what that is my television viewing.

Here are the ground rules:

  1. You are hypothetically given one television seating.  What would you watch?  This takes into account the following numerous show length differences – half hour (closer to twenty two minutes) or hour on network, half hour (closer to an actual thirty minutes) or hour on pay cable (closer to an actual hour), SNL’s ninety minute run that includes lots of commercials and even more moments to fast forward (musical guests, sketches that lead to nowhere), bloated (and sadly standard) two hour episodes of Celebrity Apprentice or singing competitions, and the perfectly timed close to ninety minute romp that is the brilliant Sherlock.
  2. If The Bachelor is ranked 17 and Person of Interest is ranked 16, it means that if you only had one television viewing, you would choose to watch the best episode of Person of Interest over the best episode of The Bachelor.
  3. The Lost Corollary: You are comparing the best edition of each show this year.  Although Lost had some episodes that made me yearn for amnesia (I am looking at you the awful Jack gets a tattoo episode featuring Bai Ling), the six season finales were always prolific.  Take the best version of each show as your point of comparison.
  4. Sports and news programs are not included in these rankings.  I am not considering Real Time with Bill Maher and The Daily Show with John Stewart news programs even if I admittedly go to them for news.
  5. When applicable, actual DVR activity is important.  If a show rarely lasts longer than twenty-four hours on my queue, this leads to a higher ranking.  If I have a back log of eight unwatched episodes on my queue (tough moment Person of Interest), this is not a good thing.
  6. The external media and social repercussions of delayed viewing matter.  For example, if I have to wait a week before I can listen to a Hollywood Prospectus podcast on the Grantland Pop Culture Network because I am two weeks behind on Mad Men, this is significant.  If I have to avoid twitter or the internet until I have finished a show, this makes a difference.  The blogosphere couldn’t care less about what went down on a random episode of Shark Tank, whereas if you go to work on Monday morning having missed the previous night’s Game of Thrones, you better plan to bring water from home because the metaphoric cooler is off limits (spoiler alert indeed).
  7. For the purposes of this ranking, the TV season is June – May (allowing for shows like Breaking Bad from last summer to be included).
  8. I must have DVRed or watched (note: this is not how many viewings I had) at least two episodes to be included in the rankings.
  9. Shows released through streaming services (House of Cards) or watched through streaming services (HBO GO) are included as long as the episodes were new within the given year.  Girls and Top of the Lake count, whereas my re-viewing of Battlestar Galactica and Alias on Netflix do not.

Now, before Don Draper’s season six self can upset my wife more than he already has, on to the rankings…

NOT RANKED:

American Idol

When Simon left American Idol, I left with him (although when Philip Phillips’ “Home” won this year’s “Clocks” by Coldplay award for Song Most Overplayed in a Given Year, it was difficult to keep my distance).  I do miss the five months I used to spend every season with Ryan Seacrest in my life (and to my discredit, he is not that hard to find pretty much everywhere now if I put in a little effort), but based on all media reports, I jumped a sinking ship just at the right time.  What an embarrassment it appears to have become.

Homeland

Showtime and I seem to have difficulty matching our calendars.  I always seem to have three free months when Homeland is off the air.  I have seen season 1 over the course of a binge weekend viewing last May, but have not yet ventured into the apparently scary and sophomore slumped season 2.

37. Zero Hour

36. The Last Resort

It has been a tough time for ABC in the Thursday night 8:00 PM slot.  The Last Resort lasted a hot few seconds this fall and Zero Hour a shorter hot second this spring.  I deleted them from my queue when ABC bid adieu with some episodes left unwatched.  My hope for Anthony Edwards (er) and Andre Braugher (Homicide: Life on the Street) to make a return to my TV viewing regimen after so many years away was quickly capsized.

35. Revolution

34. Hannibal

I tried Revolution because I am a devoted follower of the J.J. Abrams Television factory (see Lost, Alias), but the long hiatus dried up my interest such that by the time it came back in March, I questioned my general enjoyment (very little) of the show in the first place.  Hannibal, recommended by TV men I trust (Sepinwall and Greenwald), got one viewing out of me before I deleted it from the queue last week after having forgotten to record a recent episode.  I considered when I was going to make time to catch up, I realized that I probably wouldn’t.  Ouch.  It will probably get cancelled anyway because NBC apparently has no idea how to market its few quality shows.

33. The Amazing Race

The Amazing Race is one of the best examples of the perils of TV viewing bandwidth.  Although I don’t agree with all the Emmy love in the reality competition program category (Survivor is consistently looked over for even a nomination), The Amazing Race is a well-produced, occasionally compelling, beautifully shot, and very easy to watch (let’s just say it does not require Games of Thrones-like focus) hour of television.  Unfortunately, often delayed by NFL football game duration ripple effects on Sunday nights in the fall, if I don’t prepare by recording into The Good Wife at 9:00 PM just in case one too many instant replays in a 4:00 PM Chargers game in Denver forces 60 Minutes to begin after 7:00 PM, I am missing portions of episodes.  Once I miss portions of episodes and don’t feel compelled to catch up on-line, I lose interest.  This has probably happened to me at least five times by now.  If I lose interest in the fall, I rarely come back to the new season in the spring (as was this case this year).  The Amazing Race is a fine show that makes itself too easy to miss.  Good or bad, you don’t want to be a show that breeds apathy.

32. Bates Motel

Carlton Cuse was one of the two Lost showrunners and Vera Farmiga has always been enjoyable on screen, so I thought I would give Bates Motel a go when it debuted in March.  It is now mid May and I have yet to watch even one shot of one episode.  On the plus side, I do not have a season pass and have yet to fail to record an episode (all eight are sitting idle in my queue), so there’s that.  If I need more DVR space, it is the first thing to go.

31. The Following

Back in January, I began writing weekly recaps of The Following.  Back in March, I stopped writing weekly recaps of The Following because I did not enjoy writing recaps of The Following.  I did not enjoy writing recaps of The Following because I did not enjoy watching The Following.   I did not enjoy watching The Following because the The Following is a bad show.  I have five episodes to go to complete the season and I have many times sat down to take the plunge, only to choose to re-watch season 1 and 2 of Game of Thrones instead.  If The Following somehow disappeared from my queue, my response would be, “finally.”

30. Shark Tank

My relationship with Shark Tank is a masterclass in negligence.  It certainly interests me when I am watching and I sometimes will choose to watch a segment when I have ten minutes to kill, but often this season (and it has been a long one that likely cost the Mavs Deron Williams and his great attitude last offseason) I have randomly deleted unwatched episodes to make more room on my queue.  This is not the best of signs.

29. The Killing

Season 2 of The Killing was an exercise in the dreariest and most frustrating forms of futility.  The promise of the premise and those first few episodes of season 1 were long forgotten by the end of this rainy nightmare.  I kept watching because once you invest in a mystery, you feel compelled to be there for the eventual solve.  Unfortunately, the implausible outcome of the Sarah Larson case was so far from worth it.  Amazingly brought back for a third season (and a new mystery), I will give the program a second go for two episodes (my belief in the premise and Joel Kinnaman are the only reasons), but I expect a swift departure.

28. Bachelor Pad

Not returning this summer (a small disappointment), Bachelor Pad was an easy summer fill-in when more traditional reality TV programs were between seasons.  As a competition show, it is not too quality.  As a dating show, it even more of a tough sell as a means to find love than its major league precursors of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  Notwithstanding, it kept my interest, had a buzzworthy finale, and was a perfect place for Tierra from this season’s The Bachelor to extend her fifteen minutes.  It’s too bad.

27. Person of Interest

Of all shows in the rankings, Person of Interest is most influenced by its only loose flirtations with serialized storytelling (it is as procedural a drama as I watch) and the lack of any form of media attention.  If I am behind on an episode (right now the number is eight), there is no external repercussion.  I have never met anyone who watches Person of Interest, never read a weekly recap, and never seen anything about it on-line besides an occasional EW check-in review.  I find it to be a compelling, well-conceived hour of television with enjoyable actors (Michael Emerson and Jim Caviezel) playing enjoyable superhero archetypes in a realistic world, but I just don’t have time in my weekly grind to make time for it.  When I do get around to watching it (last year I caught up with season 1 sometime in the fall), I will enjoy myself, but until then, may the queue hold its contents strong.

26. The Mindy Project

If you haven’t been a part of the wonderful world of Mindy Kaling, the time is whenever you have it.  The Mindy Project consistently delivers (although I like parts of episodes more than episodes as a whole), but rarely stands out as a viewing priority.  I often find myself one or two weeks behind.  In a world next season without 30 Rock and The Office, The Mindy Project may take a higher place on these rankings, but until that time, there is no rush to view (Ironically, tonight is the season finale.  I will probably get around to it after the NBA Playoffs are over in June).

25. Elementary

Elementary has had a bright freshmen season.  It benefits from Jonny Lee Miller’s striking charisma, epic hiatuses between each Sherlock series that prevent Arthur Conan Doyle character over-saturation, and well-constructed little mysteries of the week.  Procedural at its core, it does not shy away from serialized character development.  Both Joan Watson and Sherlock have undergone some effective narrative arcs that make watching it more time sensitive than its CBS procedural brethren.  It is one of the first dramas I get to when Sunday nights on HBO and AMC are in their dark periods.

24. The X Factor

Since The X Factor last aired its overblown self in December, Simon Cowell’s producer brain trust said goodbye to LA Reid (his choice), Khloe Kardashian as co-host (she gave it her best effort, but just wasn’t any good), and Britney Spears (an “amazing” train wreck of a judge).  Simon, Mario Lopez, and Demi Lovato are coming back (her new self-titled album out today!) and will all have another upward battle to relevance in an audience landscape that has grown weary of all the talent competition programs.  I am rooting for The X Factor because I believe in Simon and have for so many years, but I would not be surprised that sometime in the next twelve months, Fox (on their schedule) or I (on my DVR) delete this program from our lives.

23. Modern Family

22. 30 Rock

21. Parks and Recreation

30 Rock has aired its last episodes, and, unlike The Office (until recently at least), gave its loyal viewers a wonderful final season.  I had been with 30 Rock since the beginning and was emotional about its ending (December’s series finale remains on my queue).  Despite my consistent enjoyment of almost every episode, it never found its way closer to the hypothetical top of past DVR rankings because it shied away from serialization and too much sentimentality (I am a sucker) and it promoted zany and unrealistic circumstances.  The low ranking also speaks to my taste in comedy (questionable) more than to the quality execution of Tina Fey’s television darling (consistently brilliant).  Parks and Recreation has been my pound for pound favorite comedy over the past two seasons (since Michael left The Office) and watching an episode is like the television version of eating a piece of vanilla cake – delicious.  It will likely be the highest ranked scripted comedy I watch next season.  Modern Family has posed a viewing conundrum recently.  I have begun to be in the camp that there are just so many happy family stories a show can yield, and, often (and appropriately) devoid of any high stakes consequences (when Hayley got kicked out of college it was a little too much “no big deal” for me), I have become less and less compelled to watch.  If I were told that this week’s Modern Family was its last, I would be fine with that.  This doesn’t mean that I am going to stop watching and enjoying each episode, it just means that it no longer feels as essential to my television viewing experience.

20. The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead is the biggest beneficiary of number six of the ground rules.  I enjoy being a part of The Walking Dead experience more than I enjoy watching The Walking Dead (at least since season 1).  Besides Hershel, Maggie, and Daryl, I am not sure I even like any of the other characters on the show and Rick may be the all-time worst lead character I have ever watched consistently on a television program (his long speech scenes are just horrendous).  The Walking Dead also benefits from one of the best tension catching theme songs I have ever heard (er was pretty wonderful) that pulls you in after the three minutes prologue of each episode into a false belief that you will have a reason to care again.  To its credit, writers have killed off several of the most horrific characters, so there is hope yet for Rick!

19. Sherlock

Sherlock may produce the best 86 minutes of any program on this list, but it is on so infrequently and for so little time (each series is three episodes of this length), it is hard to place it up higher with the big boys.

18. House of Cards

I binged on House of Cards over the course of three days in March.  Although I remember little from the experience besides how much I loved Corey Stoll’s portrayal of a charismatic congressmen with a few too many demons, I recognize that if I were watching weekly, it would be competing closer to the top of these rankings.  It is quality programming (led my David Fincher’s visionary directorial lead) that always begged me to keep going.

17. Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad is probably one of the five best shows I have ever seen on television and Bryan Cranston gives the best of acting performances, yet of the shows ranked so high, it is the program I like the least.  Spending five seasons with Walter White has been an exercise in lowering expectations and the devolving of the humanity and integrity of an American family.  Void of any really redeeming characters, I find it hard to enjoy a program in which I have no one to root for.

16. The Bachelor

Influenced by wonderful weekly conversations between Juliet Litman and David Jacoby and propelled by a fun stay at the Bachelor Pad last summer, I decided to hop on to the ABC ratings juggernaut this fall.  Although I am aware that The Bachelor’s track record for maintaining post show love is an unquestionable failure, I found Sean Lowe’s journey to find a wife candidate genuine and heartfelt.  It is so well-produced and sensitive to the viewers emotional leanings that the buy-in happens almost immediately.  This season, in particular, benefitted from the experience that was Tierra (and, like Survivor, a season can be judged on the quality of contestants), but I do think the format and execution are some of the best you will find in the reality TV world.

15. The Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars

I have been threatening to fire myself from the boardroom for several seasons now, but, like The Amazing Race, it is easy to whip out the old series pass manager, but, unlike The Amazing Race, the spring season on NBC that The Celebrity Apprentice inhabits does not compete with NFL games for schedule time sanctity.  An admitted guilty pleasure (sometimes at least), Donald will often remind the viewer that The Apprentice was once (according to some metrics, it is a little like the three scientists who say global warming is a hoax) the most watched show on television and the creative project/boardroom format still provides some evidence why.  I do not like Donald Trump, I struggle with his sons Erik and Don Jr. (Ivanka is wonderful), and I rarely have a “celebrity” that I care about, but the tasks remain somewhat interesting (albeit obnoxiously self-promotional), Gary Busey is an unsolvable riddle of a man that I still want to solve, and a weekly elimination of past seasons all-stars (all of which I watched before) still breeds my attention.  Do I wish that I my relationship with The Celebrity Apprentice had been terminated many years ago?  Absolutely, I just want someone else to tell me “you’re fired.”

14. Real Time with Bill Maher

A recent add-on to the queue since Dad’s HBO Go account became an actualization with my Apple TV, Real Time could be ranked higher if it showed up for watching at a consistent time (it is always sometime after Friday and before Tuesday) or at least closer to the original Friday night airing.  There is no hour of television in which I learn more and think more.  Bill Maher has been a part of my television life since his Politically Incorrect days on Comedy Central and I am grateful that I can finally watch him again (I was consuming his program via podcast for the last several years).

13. Top of the Lake

Elisabeth Moss is a detective in the New Zealand outback solving a mystery as told through the lush, beautiful, and unique lens of Jane Campion.  Yes, please.  Top of the Lake was everything The Killing was not (good?).  Only six total hours of a story that has a beginning, middle, and logical end, Top of the Lake was one of the best things I saw this year.  Now Netflix streamable, I highly recommend.

12. Mad Men

Mad Men is a layered, engrossing, and provocative television masterpiece.  A little late to the game (I binged on the first three seasons via the Netflix), I have subsequently happily awaited the each season of ten Sunday nights of shows over the course of the past three years (season 6 has a handful of episodes left to air) that I have watched “live.”  I was legitimately concerned in 2010 upon completion of The Wire that I would struggle to find another television show of equal quality, and, although very different in scope and texture, Mad Men is certainly in the conversation for the best television I have ever watched.  At the same time, something has felt a little bit different this year.  Next to Game of Thrones (not by network, but by consecutive time slot), I find myself yearning for the power players of Westeros much more than for the power players of Madison Avenue.  I think it may be a matter of stakes – Don’s escapades and his new (but tired) path down extramarital affair land has never felt so superfluous, especially with the assassinations of Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy framing the significant historical context.  Mad Men is still Mad Men, I just care a little differently.

11. The Americans

The Americans, the freshmen period drama on FX set in 1981 about two KGB spies playing a deep cover game of house with two children, is the best new drama of the past two seasons (this includes Homeland).  Keri Russell’s Elizabeth Jennings is one of the finest performances of the year and Matthew Rhys, as her husband Phillip, matches her scene for scene.  It is largely character driven and utilizes period authenticity as a backdrop, not as a leading concept (as many replica period shows after Mad Men have tried).  The spy stuff is so much more fun without the modern technology that provides us with constant connectivity.  Dead drops under park benches, listening devices in shelf clocks, and good old-fashioned hair disguises create a different (and I would argue better) type of suspense.

10. Saturday Night Live

9. The Daily Show with John Stewart

I occasionally watch SNL or The Daily Show live, but most of the time, it will be my ritualized first order on the agenda (over breakfast) the next morning.  SNL is an institution of American television that I freely admit in 2013 delivers less and less frequently.  There is rarely a bit or a sketch that compares favorably to the writing on 30 Rock (or The Daily Show for that matter), but like a sports team that I have followed for most of my life, I am loyal and as long as Lorne Michaels is the Executive Producer (and my DVR is working properly), I won’t jump ship.  Its mythology and esteem so immersed in a nostalgic history, it fits so well with my sensibility.  I am more into how this cast or this sketch fits into the bigger historical picture than with my general enjoyment thereof.  Today’s announcement that this week’s season finale will be Bill Hader’s last as a member of the cast is just another inevitable departure on a cast (but probably more like a sports roster) that is as much about who is leaving as who is arriving.  I really enjoy Bill Hader as an impressionist and as versatile leading player and he will certainly be missed, but like his Studio 8H forerunners, there will be another new talent to come in and fill his shoes.  The Daily Show with John Stewart continues to be one of my favorite sources for news commentary, although I think it has gone through some growing pains in recent years with fewer correspondent stories (a staple during its heyday with Carell, Colbert, and Helms) and more repetitive bits.  I continue to marvel at the writing staff who manage to put out mostly brilliant work four times a week and to John Stewart for evolving and continually upping his game (and for his ability to read some very long books over the course of a three day weekend).  His brief hiatus from the hosting chair (John Oliver is the perfect fill-in choice) this summer will be an intriguing precursor to the day when The Daily Show and John Stewart part ways.  We will get to see how much of our of The Daily Show enjoyment is about its phenomenal host.

8. The Office

This week, The Office has its series finale episode and for much of this season (really only until the last two episodes), it couldn’t have come soon enough.  I have been with the Scranton Dunder Mifflin branch since it began and I freely admit the show has been a challenge to watch since Steve Carell left two seasons ago.  As explored in Andy Greenwald’s aforementioned column, when is the right time to leave a show that is no longer making the show you fell in love with?  There were many times over the past two seasons when I just wanted to have an excuse to leave, but I was never able to find one.  What became even more peculiar was my viewing tendency.  I would, despite my increasingly negative feelings toward the show, choose to watch The Office first on Thursday night (over the much better at this stage in their career Parks and Recreation and whatever dramas on CBS that were recording).  The Office remained my go-to program and despite my acknowledgment of decreasing returns, I never strayed from it.  While watching last week’s penultimate episode that coalesces perfectly around the central romantic relationships between Jim and Pam and Dwight and Angela, it struck me why leaving a show is so hard.  I not only cared about these people and was deeply invested in their lives, but I cared about how that investment had affected my life.  This is why TV is such a wonderful medium – we are given the luxury of time to spend with characters or hosts or valued competition formats over the course of many years.  These shows are given the opportunity to become so deeply imbedded and connected to substantial periods of our lives.  I thought about my personal journey in conjunction with Jim and Pam’s journey and remembered the unbelievable changes that have occurred in my life (specifically romantic life) as I have watched Jim’s unrequited flirtation form into the most genuine, beautiful, more recently difficult, but always honest of fictional romances that I will ever have the pleasure to watch in any storytelling medium.  If Party of Five was a show that I watched as I was coming of age as an adolescent and will be forever linked to that time, The Office has been a show that has accompanied some massive transformations in my young adult life.  I have such rich memories of past seasons and my external circumstances that surrounded them.  The Office series end will really mark the end of this era of my life and what a ride it has been.

7. The Real World: Portland and St. Thomas

Despite the island of boredom that was The Real World: St. Thomas, Portland has more than made up for it with Hurricane Nia force winds of drama.  A loyal viewer since 1995 (this is hard for me to even believe), The Real World remains my first reality TV love and continues to deliver compelling television.  In a similar vein to SNL, my Real World love lives in nostalgia and history.  Each new season adds on to that legacy and, at this point, I will be a viewer as long as it continues.

6. Girls

At close to thirty minutes of universal quality, Girls packs so much into each installment and may be the best bang for your buck at an incredible television seating.  I do question how long it has to be sensational – season 2 was a different kind of fun than season 1 (in a melancholic, depressing, and obsessive compulsive kind of way) and I do wonder if there is a point where watching Hannah and her friends struggle so much to find happiness will be just too much to endure.

5. Funny or Die presents: Billy on the Street

Billy on the Street wins both the award for show that I audibly laughed at the most (beating 30 Rock by a wide margin) and was in the top three for shows that I most often watched live (along with Survivor and The Challenge).  Here are some tangible examples why:

4. The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons

Much has been written about The Challenge on this space (see my weekly power rankings from Battle of the Seasons and my column with picks for an all-star season), so I won’t beleaguer too much more of the same here.  One thing I will say – I am consistently more excited for both the season premiere and the season finale of The Challenge than of any other show in these rankings.

3. Game of Thrones

In the grand tradition of Lost (more on this in a bit), Game of Thrones has become my favorite dramatic series on television.  Also like Lost and pertinent to these rankings, I am put at a decided and unwelcome social disadvantage if I step out in public on a Monday morning without having viewed the previous evening’s Game of Thrones episode.  Game of Thrones is the social television of the moment and it is a pleasure to be a part of it.  In addition, despite its fantasy book roots, GoT reminds me of all that was great about The Wire.  Its’ expansive patchwork of characters, social classes, and objectives takes a certain type of viewing focus to fully understand.  I certainly struggle at times to make sense of it all (I have decided to not read the books concurrently – I want to experience the show without a narrative comparison), but when earned, the rewards are that much greater.  It also boasts the best television show opening ever.

2. Survivor

(SPOILER ALERT) When Cochran won the twenty-sixth season of Survivor in a landslide jury vote last Sunday night, I found myself having a tremendous amount of pride.  Like Cochran, my Survivor journey began thirteen years ago with the season finale of season 1 (I will always remember the experience watching with my parents in a CT hotel room the night before I moved into my freshmen year college dorm) and I was sincerely happy for this seemingly like-minded devoted follower.  Cochran’s fandom and his unlikely transformation and ascension to the Survivor crown represent the best of what Survivor can be.  Its successful longevity is a byproduct of many things, but none more important than the perfect blend of an excellent game format and an excellent host in Jeff Probst.  Interestingly enough, Sunday’s finale went head to head with both Game of Thrones and Mad Men and it was a no-brainer to choose to watch Survivor first.  Originally to avoid print, internet, and television spoilers, I began watching Survivor the night that it airs and as close to live as possible.  Now, largely removed from the greater pop culture conversation, I watch Survivor first because it remains the most reliable, consistent, comforting, and entertaining hour of television.  Some casts work better than others, but the journey through tribal council spokens and immunity and reward challenges as participants try to outwit, outplay, and eventually outlast one another has proven to be the most successful of formulas.

1. Lost (an emeritus selection)

Lost, my favorite show of all-time, still sits on top of my series priority manager (in case of a conflict) on my DVR and, after almost three years since the series finale, it is going nowhere.  The First Annual DVR Power Rankings would not be complete without Lost ranked first. 

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  

Blog Posts, Television

FOLLOWING THE FOLLOWING: “Let Me Go”

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This week’s aptly titled episode of The Following is oftentimes exactly what I wish this serialized television convention of viewer discretion would let me do.  When I committed to writing weekly “recaps” (it may be a leap at this point to even call them that) back in January, I was optimistic that this journey would deliver me engrossing entertainment and a quality drama series on network television.  Seven weeks in, The Following is a bit of a chore, a necessary evil that I have committed to (at least for season 1, more on that in a bit), and a mixed bag of potential success and writing room narrative drivel.  At its best, The Following is a 2013 lesser-version of an average episode of 24 that through sharp pacing, main character grumbling angst, some computer literate savvy assistance (Mike Weston fills in as a less ironic and more personable Chloe), and “where is this all leading” intrigue provides a fairly watchable program.  At its worst, The Following is a challenging experience, soaked in horrific dialogue, the silliest of character relationships, unmotivated and off-putting gratuitous displays of violence, and a premise that when put under the plausibility diagnostic test fails every time.

Most weeks in which pages of the script had the setting as “the farmhouse” and dialogue from characters like “Jacob” or “Paul” or “Emma” were of this latter, worst case iteration of The Following.  This week’s “Let Me Go” episode was thankfully devoid of Jacob and Paul (at least Joey was concerned about their well-being, Emma/Denise was unfortunately still around for the festivities) and was at least moving the narrative forward in some game changing kind of ways, albeit mostly through the implausible lens that has been the filter we have come to expect and dread.  Yesterday, Fox announced that The Following had been renewed for a second season (New Girl, Raising Hope, and the “you are not doing anything better on Tuesday night at 9:30 so please join in on the fun” The Mindy Project also were picked up) and after careful consideration, I see this as potentially good news.  My hope is that now the writing team led by Kevin Williamson will be able to consider the show more as a Joe Carroll long con and less a series of irritating new follower outbreaks.  It has the airtime to go somewhere, so let’s see where it can take us.

In brief summary of the key plot developments of “Let Me Go” with the farmhouse in our collective (sigh of relief) rear view mirrors, Emma/Denise brings Joey to an auto mechanic, pseudo-follower named Bo who seems to be angry about a lot of things.  On a trip to the little boy’s room, Joey discovers Dana, a young woman locked up in a cage.  Meanwhile in FBI land, through some Olivia Warren attorney dialogue to the warden about torts and 8th Amendment rights (clearly, real lawyers were not consulted on authenticity), Joe Carroll is granted a transfer to a prison in Georgia because he was mistreated by Ryan Hardy and the FBI.  (Quick tangent that I wish The Following went on: wouldn’t it have been great if the prison transfer was curtailed when Joe Carroll’s U.S. Marshall bus ended up somewhere outside of Woodbury in the fictional world of The Walking Dead? Joe Carroll, please meet the Governor!  Or better yet, I would love to see Denise/Emma have a showdown with a field of walkers!  Kevin Williamson, make this happen).  Through some careful detective tactics known as “common sense,” Hardy and sidekick Mike Weston (becoming a more integral and appreciated member of the good guy team) figure out that the warden has been coerced into the Carroll transfer because it turns out that the caged woman in Bo’s shop is actually his daughter (ooh, I didn’t see that one coming).  Naturally, the prison transfer is a rouse, Joe Carroll escapes in the trunk of Olivia Warren’s car, he then strangles her and puts on a suit (in the opposite order), and arrives at a building showcasing a sterile cafeteria environment for professionals.  Ryan Hardy is just one step behind and after a dogged, guns ablaze in a public building pursuit, has a little confrontation with free man Joe Carroll on the stairwell leading up to the roof.  This leads to this speech from Joe: “We have only just concluded the first part of our novel, yes, Ryan.  For nine, long years I have sat in my prison cell outlining this entire story in my mind.  I meticulously planned all of it, with a little help from my friends.  That’s a Beatles reference, by the way…There is so much more to come, Ryan.  I’ll be in touch.”  Carroll leaves Ryan with his lackey, Ryan shoots the lackey in the leg, and hustles to the roof, but it is too late: Carroll is airborne in his getaway helicopter (Hardy decides to shoot bullets at it anyway).  In the episode’s denouement, the FBI team finds Dana alive but Joey’s abduction party has escaped.  As she goes into protective (not even Hardy will no where) custody, Claire Matthews is particularly displeased with the FBI performance in finding her son.  Ryan may have to start bringing out more of his inner Jack Bauer (i.e. stretching the rules even more).  In the final scene that seems to set in motion the second part of the Joe Carroll novel, the Carroll rescue party (welcome to the team, knife-wielding Louise) arrives at a late night gathering at some secluded fraternity-like house where he is met by Denise/Emma, Charlie, a band of new follower extras, and Joey, who was hoping to see Mom, but Dad will have to suffice.

In the true spirit of optimism, now that The Following has a second season mandate, I am hopeful that it will be able to carve out a more engaging narrative strand.  Despite my general difficulties with the premise (especially that Joe Carroll could be considered this awe-inspiring figure), I am game for the developments in “Let Me Go” and could not be happier that we are out of the farmhouse.  At the very least, The Following is a place where (“really?!!,” as in ” Really with Seth Myers”) Beatles references occur in the middle of important speeches, so there’s always that.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  

Blog Posts, Television

FOLLOWING THE FOLLOWING: “The Fall”

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Yes, “The Fall,” this week’s “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the farmhouse” episode of The Following, may have destroyed (finally!) the pitiful “Emma, Jacob, and Paul share a life together” construct that had mired this program in some of the worst dialogue TV has ever heard, but based on the “everyone is a follower” new reality that allowed for an unrealistic escape and SWAT team coup d’état, there may be no light at the end of this serialized tunnel.  Notwithstanding, there is much we can learn from this episode about what is to come, about life, and about Claire’s taste in music.

Without further ado, here are the 11 most important things we learned from this week’s “The Fall” episode:

1. Ryan Hardy’s Kryptonite may be any kind of electrical shock that messes with his pacemaker.  Other Kryptonite candidates include drinking alcohol out of water bottles and getting involved in Joe Carroll’s case in the first place.

2. It is possible that Joey cares more about Paul and Jacob’s well-being more than Emma/Denise/crazy nanny.  It is also possible that Joey is a follower because based on the events in “The Fall,” anyone can be a follower!

3. At the end of the episode, Claire and Ryan were competing for the “most awkward hug ever on network television” award and at this point they are the one to beat.

4. Meghan Leeds, contrary to past actions, can successfully escape from farmhouses by running away.  Meghan, we are so proud of you.

5. Claire loves the music of Celine Dion (at least enough to attend a live concert, albeit a benefit).  Joe Carroll (“good god”) apparently does not.

6. In the world of The Following, “I am your follower” may be used as a pick-up line.

7. Paul, Jacob, and Emma are not the brightest characters that ever been conceived for television (Oops, we already knew that.  There is no harm in confirming).

8. Charlie, Claire’s abductor, seems like the ideal candidate to replace Emma in the Jacob/Paul love triangle.  His “lost and not too bright” quality will fit right in.

9. The writers of The Following think that conversations about embarrassment over “being gay” resonate with audiences.

10. Parker’s trip to Iowa in 2004 to see her cultish parents did not go too well and it wasn’t because the Field of Dreams park was closed for the season.

11. Next week Joe Carroll, through some legal wrangling, is granted a prison transfer (and we know how well prison transfers always seem to go).

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  For more in-depth opinions on movies, check out the “5 Things You Need To Know” page.

5 Things, Blog Posts, Movies

5 Things You Need To Know: Amour

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When I see a movie in theaters, I will write the five things you need to know about it.  Additional note: I am working my way through the movies that are relevant to this weekend’s Academy Awards (nominated in one of the six major categories).  Stay tuned for LIFE OF PI (my final viewing) before Sunday’s Oscar telecast.

5 Things You Need to Know About… 

AMOUR

1. Although Amour is nominated for Best Picture at this weekend’s Academy Awards, it is justifiably not going to win (there are several more deserving pictures).  It is not an epic tour de force, nor the most groundbreaking work of modern cinema, nor one of the handful of films of 2012 that we are going to remember for decades to come.  However, Amour is the most intimate, the most personal, and presents the the most realistic relationship (between Jean-Louis Trintignant’s Georges and Emmauelle Riva’s Anne) of any film I saw in 2012.

2. Speaking of Emmanuelle Riva, WOW.  Born in 1927 (!) and turning 86 (!!!) on Oscar Sunday, this French screen star of more than the last half century portrays Anne’s struggle with a degenerative and debilitating illness after suffering a stroke with a beautiful command of the both the physical and emotional pain.  Her embodiment of Anne is absolute and deeply vulnerable and subsequently at times quite difficult to watch.  Anne’s journey toward death is so unexpectedly alive (and Best Director nominee Michael Haneke does not hold back) exploring feelings of embarrassment, frustration, and nostalgia that when it reaches its final stage, we too mourn the loss.  Madame Riva is rightfully nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress in a Motion Picture and in a field of performances without a definitive frontrunner, she would be a deserving winner.

3. Jean-Louis Trintignant’s portrayal of Georges (he turns 83 in December) may not be a formal Oscar contender like his co-star, but his performance is just as brilliantly vulnerable, painfully real, and expertly executed.  We never consider Monsieur Trintignant to be acting – he is Georges and watching him walk the walk of his love through his steadfast (though it times tested) all encompassing care and support of Anne earns the film’s title.

4. According to Oscar prognosticators, Michael Haneke is in the mix to win Best Director (Mr. Spielberg may have something to say about this), and, even if he does not have my vote, I am most impressed with his work.  He directs Amour delicately, attending to the subtleties and precious mundanities of both the sights and sounds of home life as an enhancement of all the more there is to lose.  His cameras give complete access to the Parisian flat – we too feel trapped in the downward inevitability of Anne’s physical condition – such that by the end of the film it feels like we have lived there for decades.  Most impressively, it is evident that Haneke fostered a working environment for his actors that was based on an essential trust among Monsieur Trintingant, Madame Rivas, and himself.  This trust yielded the most incredible results.

5.  Amour is a film (a foreign film!) that depicts loves final chapter without inhibition.  Although the decision to see Amour is a harrowing commitment in itself, its beautiful lessons about the commitment part of love are worth the toll of admission.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.