Yes, “The Fall,” this week’s “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the farmhouse” episode of The Following, may have destroyed (finally!) the pitiful “Emma, Jacob, and Paul share a life together” construct that had mired this program in some of the worst dialogue TV has ever heard, but based on the “everyone is a follower” new reality that allowed for an unrealistic escape and SWAT team coup d’état, there may be no light at the end of this serialized tunnel. Notwithstanding, there is much we can learn from this episode about what is to come, about life, and about Claire’s taste in music.
Without further ado, here are the 11 most important things we learned from this week’s “The Fall” episode:
1. Ryan Hardy’s Kryptonite may be any kind of electrical shock that messes with his pacemaker. Other Kryptonite candidates include drinking alcohol out of water bottles and getting involved in Joe Carroll’s case in the first place.
2. It is possible that Joey cares more about Paul and Jacob’s well-being more than Emma/Denise/crazy nanny. It is also possible that Joey is a follower because based on the events in “The Fall,” anyone can be a follower!
3. At the end of the episode, Claire and Ryan were competing for the “most awkward hug ever on network television” award and at this point they are the one to beat.
4. Meghan Leeds, contrary to past actions, can successfully escape from farmhouses by running away. Meghan, we are so proud of you.
5. Claire loves the music of Celine Dion (at least enough to attend a live concert, albeit a benefit). Joe Carroll (“good god”) apparently does not.
6. In the world of The Following, “I am your follower” may be used as a pick-up line.
7. Paul, Jacob, and Emma are not the brightest characters that ever been conceived for television (Oops, we already knew that. There is no harm in confirming).
8. Charlie, Claire’s abductor, seems like the ideal candidate to replace Emma in the Jacob/Paul love triangle. His “lost and not too bright” quality will fit right in.
9. The writers of The Following think that conversations about embarrassment over “being gay” resonate with audiences.
10. Parker’s trip to Iowa in 2004 to see her cultish parents did not go too well and it wasn’t because the Field of Dreams park was closed for the season.
11. Next week Joe Carroll, through some legal wrangling, is granted a prison transfer (and we know how well prison transfers always seem to go).
David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company. For more in-depth opinions on movies, check out the “5 Things You Need To Know” page.