All posts by David Bloom

"The Challenge", Television

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 8

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We are now somewhere close to the halfway point of this (the 23rd!) season of MTV’s The Challenge.  Last week’s unnecessary hiatus for Halloween programming (you are telling me that the prospect of a Frank meltdown is not ghoulish enough for viewers?) gave me some time for a reflection on a television show/fifth professional sport that’s first airing dates back to the middle of President Clinton’s second term.  For any television show to last 23 seasons and 14 years is an accomplishment in itself, but this season’s influx of new blood and talent accentuates a main reason for the (and dare I say continuing) success of the franchise.  The Challenge has always been in a malleable state that continues to strive for reinvention, reinvigoration, reformatting, and rethinking.  Bunim-Murray producer land has always been driven to make each new show more interesting and more compelling than the one previous.  This approach is not always successful and there have been some off seasons, but this sprint away from complacency is one of the primary root causes of its longevity.

Although Battle of the Seasons has some worthy game format tweaks and competition adaptations, the (frankly) “out on a limb” new personnel influx this season has been the most daring of moves.  Since season 12’s Fresh Meat introduction of Kenny and Evan (and the JEK dynasty establishment), the last 11 seasons of The Challenge have featured at least (and at its best, all of them) one of the Johnny, Evan, Kenny trio.  In these Challenge glory years, cast members like Derrick (ultimatechallengeradio.com and podcast guru), CT (a real softy in his later years), Laurel (the Amazonian dominator and perhaps the best female physical competitor we have seen), Ev (unquestioned heart and drive), Paula (a master class in personal perseverance), Diem (ditto), Brad (who met his wife Tori on The Challenge), and Jenn (with two “Ns”) have fostered a culture of continued viewing pleasure and Challenge excellence.  They are all off this year (and even one of the few real Challenge vets from this era on BotS, Wes, was sent home in week 1).  Whether we liked it or not (and I was going in as undecided as Devyn choosing a new pair of stilettos), Challenge rookies or relative newcomers were going to have a major effect on this season.

This week’s “I Do Not Like You Sam, I Am” episode did three major things: 1) It introduced a challenge that has final challenge elements (and gives players a preview of who you want to run up the metaphoric mountain with); 2) It showcased how important the concept and application of “team” is at the end of this game; and 3) It gave newcomers Frank and Zach the opportunity to make lasting Challenge memories (for all the wrong reasons).  These weekly power rankings have (after accruing the formatting intel in the premiere episode) acknowledged that although individuals are essential to success, teams are only as strong as their unity, collaboration, and how well they manage the weaker player weaknesses.

This chronological breakdown of the Logged Out challenge tells the first part of the story:

THE LOGGED OUT CHALLENGE

Logged Out began with this warning from TJ: “If you can’t get through today’s challenge, you ain’t ever gonna make it through my final, I promise you that.”  Beyond TJ completely “killing it” by calling it “my final” (a right he has earned at this point in his long, storied [and now – congratulations – married] Challenge tenure), producers finally realized that endurance tests (where teams have to stick together the whole time) that preview the actual final challenge are worthwhile.  This was a worthy representation on paper and in actuality: competitors were asked to run (there was a great deal of walking, summer Turkey heat and humidity will do that) through three checkpoints up a 1.5 mile mountain trail.  The first checkpoint was a nine part puzzle map featuring images with interesting numerical configurations of dots and lines, the second checkpoint asked teams to pickup heavy logs featuring these images (you could only carry one at time, so major disadvantage to the two person teams of New Orleans and St. Thomas who had to make 4-5 trips up and down), and a final leg to the top of the mountain ridge where you assemble the puzzle out of the correct nine logs (there were more extraneous ones at the second checkpoint, confusing multiple teams).

The pre-challenge interview of Team Brooklyn featured this exchange:

Sarah: “I guess I have a reputation for being good at puzzles.  I don’t know how I got it…”

Chet (interrupting her): “Because you brag about it…

Sarah: ‘Well, whatever…so ah, yeah, I am hoping I can help my team out with this one and that memory is what wins it.”

Meanwhile, during this interplay, Devyn was doing her hair and JD was smiling with one of those “I can’t wait to get back to my dolphins” looks.  For what it’s worth and for their arena-dwelling existence, Team Brooklyn is a fun team to watch.

TJ’s horn marks the start of the challenge.  Each team sprints to the first checkpoint (unaware that saving endurance is going to be important).  Puzzle image memory strategy takes on many different forms.  Frank decides to learn his row and then all of Sam and Zach’s assignments as well in fear that they won’t be able to handle it intellectually.  Dustin uses hand signals and gang signs (this actually happened).

The gameplay next takes us to the second checkpoint where most teams have gathered some logs (some teams without consideration that there are some that are not going to be used) and head up to the top.  Meanwhile, Team Brooklyn puts Sarah’s aforementioned puzzle mastery to work.  Sarah: “I look around.  I don’t think the other teams have figured out you kind of safe yourself a step if you assemble the puzzle right where the logs are.  I am not gonna tell them.  Go ahead.  Run up the hill.  Try and figure it out a mile up there, but you’re not gonna win that way.”  YES, SHE CAN! Unfortunately, nor are you going to win if Devyn gasses out.  Sarah’s on point encouragement: “Prove to everybody that you are more than high heels.”  Devyn’s response: “I’m not.”  You have to love Devyn.  I mentioned last week that she and Chet give the best sound bites.  Her personal best may be here: “I am not made for this.  This was not made for black people.  When was the last time you saw a black lumber jack?  Go ahead, I’ll wait.”

Focus shifts (as it will for most of the rest of the episode) to Team San Diego, where Sam’s cardiovascular struggles cause a team upheaval.  Frank begins by asking Sam, “You’re going home if you don’t finish this, you know that right?”  Then Zach, flexing his unique ability to raise his voice in less than a quarter of a second, speaks then yells back, “Sam, quit throwing a temper tantrum, and (100 decibels louder) WALK UP THE DAMN HILL!”  Frank (“Stop being so fucking selfish”) and Zach (“SAM!!!! – you are ruining it for all three of us.  We are your family.  Let’s go!”) take turns berating their San Diego housemate.  Poor Sam takes the “no, you’re not going to degrade me just because we’re in a fucking challenge” approach without knowing that Frank degrades her both in or out of the challenge.  As is becoming a growing trend, Devyn has the best take: “Frank and Zach – I don’t know what motivational speaking classes they went to, but they need to get their money back.”  Preach, Devyn.  Preach.

We all take a much needed break from some uncomfortable stuff (I haven’t squirmed like this since Camila went off on Easy) to show how actual teams operate.  Images flood the screen of the other teams working together to overcome adversity.  Jonna takes Jasmine’s hand, willing her to continue.  Sarah heroically (and putting money where her mouth is) takes a final log up her final leg (“No thanks, JD.  I got this.”).  Both pairs of Robb and Marie and Jemmye and Knight support one another through their doubly difficult challenge assignment; Jemmye at one point tells Knight to “look at the view” wanting “anything to inspire [him].”  This sharply contrasts images of a desperate Sam asking Zach, “please don’t raise your voice,” and Zach replying with “can you just like, step up?”

Sarah’s initial strategy is a success and leads Team Brooklyn (despite some real adversity – Devyn is not much of a runner in Turkish heat, but, really, who is?) to their first victory and power team experience. (Of note: JD looks like he is going to completely fall apart, he is so happy to win).  Chet declares, “Brooklyn finally wins a challenge, and arguably this was the toughest challenge, so I am really impressed with my team” and “Chock one up for the misfits.”  This ragtag bunch has been through it all so far in this game and continues to prove why working as a unified group (led instrumentally by Sarah’s leadership and excellence, Chet’s inner strength and humor, Devyn’s awesome attitude, and JD’s amiable, but malleable existence) can overcome other deficiencies.

Other teams dig deep to finish the challenge.  Jasmine is completely wasted to the point where she is worried about staying alive.  Derek (in his best challenge moment so far, a deserved power rankings bump  will follow below) decides to pick up Jasmine on his back to get to the top of the mountain to have his team complete the puzzle and finish in second.  He reasons correctly, “We started this as a team, and we are going to finish this challenge as a team.”  Team Las Vegas, who despite some early stumbles, were consistent throughout this event and came through with a strong third place finish.  According to Trishelle, fighting back an uncomfortable laugh observing the embarrassment that is Team San Diego, “[Team Vegas] didn’t just win, but, this is just sweet, sweet revenge.”  It is more of the same for San Diego, including a Frank and Sam physical and verbal escalation that was just not a good look.  Ashley states the obvious, “We can’t communicate at all.  There is just a bunch of yelling.”  San Diego does finally finish in fourth (the four person teams had a huge advantage over St. Thomas and New Orleans), but the damage has been done.

Producers seem to convey that St. Thomas and New Orleans are neck and neck for bottom-arena feeder.  There is then this great moment where Robb (with 2 “Bs”), proving himself worthy after helping Marie through this one, alerts TJ he thinks he has finished.  TJ, in only the way the beloved host (and so much more than that) can, says, “I am sorry man,” followed by a pause the length of an NFL replay challenge, and then finally, “but you guys are good.” First Robb has a gut (and well-intentioned) response of “you bitch” and then settles down to consider Logged Out “one of the proudest accomplishments of [his] life.”

Team New Orleans is arena bound (they admirably gave it their all) and TJ has this, one more awesome set of words of wisdom: “You know, when you are under pressure, how you treat each other. It matters.  San Diego?  You need to work a little bit on that.”

Team San Diego Blows Up – Part II, setting up the Frank versus Zach battle reawakening

There is so much that took place after the Logged Out challenge with Team San Diego that keeping up is like spending a day in Tonya Cooley or Anne Heche’s brain: a little confusing and a little scary.  Here is what happens as far as I can tell:

  • First, Frank and Ashley are going in to the arena because they had pre-agreed to do the mental game (Team Brooklyn’s smart call).
  • Zach intimates that he thinks that Frank wants Zach and Sam gone after blaming Zach for not motivating Sam better during Logged Out.  What?  In Zach’s mind, Frank and Zach made a deal but knows that, “when you are dealing with a kniving psychopath, you never know what they are going to do.”
  • Frank is overwhelmed and goes and cries.
  • The next day, Sam volunteers herself for the arena because she did so poorly in Logged Out.  Frank, thinking that an arena with Sam is a death knell, doesn’t want to go in now.  Zach wants Frank to “be a man” and keep his word and will not volunteer himself to work with Sam.  “As a man you shook my hand…you’re pathetic.”
  • An in-your-face, close to punch-throwing, physical bro-off ensues.  Ashley can only cover her head and note that “if our team can’t come together, then we will be defeated.”

  • After Sam goes off in an emotional stupor, Frank (this was so perplexing) “tries to be here” for Sam by first offering to help her pack.  Sam: “I already knew you guys really didn’t believe in me, but to have you guys break out into that big of a fight and then go scream at each other.  It’s kind of like, there goes whatever pride I had left.”  Frank’s response: “Both of us are very insecure in this game…Zach and I are in the wrong, and I’m sorry.”  Sam (rightfully) does not take Frank’s new assertion seriously.
  • In the arena, Sam volunteers to go in.  Zach and Frank abstain, forcing Team Brooklyn to choose Zach.
  • During the Water Torture arena battle, something even more unexpected happens.  Zach: “For the first time in our relationship, Sam is leading me through this whole thing.  I can’t quit for myself, but more importantly, I can’t quit for Sam.  She deserves to be in this house more than anyone on my team.”  Sam is directive and on point, leading Zach’s underwater, inverted, and blood rushed self to victory and hereby eliminating Knight and Jemmye (valiant in defeat).  Zach says to Sam, “You are the smartest dumb person I know.”  Healthy, guys.
  • Zach is immediately ready to take revenge on Frank, foreshadowing future entanglements: “The wound in my back that Frank left from the Real World had just healed and he just opened it right back up.”

What does this all mean?  The Frank/Team San Diego implosion that I predicted early on seems to have finally arrived.  Logged Out and the rest of the episode featured teams working together (even Alton seems to have found a way again) and one team completely blowing up from within, exposing all of its weaknesses all at once.  This is a major Challenge development since it appeared that Frank, as recently as last week, was running the show for his no longer majority alliance.  Sam is weak in endurance (and up and down mentally), Ashley is lost in the shuffle, Zach has a weird volume escalation in his voice and a rage for Frank, and Frank is again volatile and unpredictable.  They may have reached the point, as much as Frank knows strategically the benefit of a four person team, that they can no longer function with Frank, Zach, and Sam in the mix.  The Challenge power structure has officially shifted and it seems like it is every team for themselves going forward.

Before we hit the rankings, here are some “must be mentioned” tidbits:

  • The Insane Games: House Edition, hosted and conceived by Team Brooklyn, was a work of genius.  Chet says he was “trying to ease the tension in the house, but at the end of the day, what we are really trying to do is to get the house to like Brooklyn, which has yet to happen.”  Brilliant.  Sarah gets it too: “This is what being in a challenge house is all about.  Let’s put aside all the fighting.  Let’s have fun and share a few laughs in this house for once.”  These moments have been far and few between in the recent, super-athletic challenge seasons, and this was a refreshing (and too short) respite.  Thank you to Team Brooklyn for giving us all a much needed break.
  • The CJ and Ashley relationship was an enjoyable distraction as well.  Although Ashley looks “at him more as a friend and that’s probably about it,” CJ writes her a note to accompany a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Marie and Jemmye (playing the LaToya role) get a hold of the note before Ashley does and cohort (this was not hard to do) Knight into helping them write her faux response.  Knight knows how wonderful it is “t0 see someone in an awkward position besides [him] for once.”  It playfully backfires on poor Christian: “The problem with writing letters is that you put some stuff on paper for other people to see.”  He may have the purpose and the problem of writing letters a bit mixed up.
  • Finally, after the debacle that The Dark Knight episode was, I am sorry to see Knight and Jemmye go.  They held their own on this challenge as competitors and came out of it with a renewed friendship with each other.  Both grew on me throughout the season, and, as I now am more able to recall, the same thing happened in New Orleans.  They are genuine and fun people who bring a light and warm energy to a space (at least as presented through the TV lens).  As TJ often says, I know we will see you again.

On to the rankings, with some serious movement (San Diego free falls) and some new game check-in analysis about which teams left have a chance to win.

WEEKLY CHALLENGE INDIVIDUAL POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1 (1) Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – A strong challenge showing (with gang sign utilization) and a week off of the hot seat was only good news for Mr. Zito.

2 (4) Chet (Team Brooklyn) – His Insane Games: Home Edition work goes without saying, but it his Logged Out dominance that moves him up two spots.

3 (2) CJ (Team Cancun) – His few tough challenge moments (Jonna tweeted her slight frustration) and his flower/note prank recipiency dropped him down slightly.

4 (7) Derek (Team Cancun) – As mentioned before, Derek had his best moment on this challenge when he literally put Jasmine on his back.  Lost in this showcase of gallantry was his ability, in the heat, to  even carry Jasmine (albeit, a small woman), up the mountain.

5 (10) Alton (Team Las Vegas) – A week on the sidelines was only a good thing for Alton and hopefully a physical challenge was a good thing for his psyche going forward.

6 (8) Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Robb was a star of Team St. Thomas (and an underrated player throughout the episode), giving Marie a will and way to beat out Team New Orleans.

7 (9) JD (Team Brooklyn) – At this point, JD is so happy to be in this game.  On the plus side, he did everything to help his team and nothing to hurt it.  Also, why didn’t he participate in Insane Games: Home Edition hosting?  What a loss for us all it was.

8 (5) Zach (Team San Diego) – Despite a willful arena showing, Zach has to be low on this list for succumbing to Frank’s tactics and being wholly unhelpful to a teammate during Logged Out.

9 (3) Frank (Team San Diego) – Crazy Frank (and not even drunk this time) finally reared its unfortunate head again.  This is a mental game as much as physical, and unless he can keep the mental in check, it won’t matter what he brings physically (very much a force in endurance).

ELIMINATED: Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 6 of 10 – We will miss you Knight.  Thank you for providing so many moments of levity and for showing us all a new method of cleaning clothes.

Biggest Rise: Alton (Team Las Vegas)

Biggest Fall: Frank (Team San Diego,)

THE WOMEN

1 (1) Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Sarah’s spot at number one is the surest thing in The Challenge.  She dominated Logged Out and showed how wonderful a teammate she can be.

2 (2) Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Her team Vegas performance was strong and still is riding some post arena win momentum.

3 (3) Jonna (Team Cancun) – Jonna was her normal, reliable self in the challenge.  It will be interesting to see how she is affected by her beau Zach’s battles with Sam and Frank.

4 (6) Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Trishelle is showing her own athletically and must provide Alton with warmth and stability going forward.

5 (7) Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Marie may have struggled through this difficult challenge, but after seven eliminations, she has yet to see an arena and this stands for something.

6 (4) Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Poor Jasmine struggled a wee bit in Logged Out (thus her fall from the top 4).  Was this a one-timer or will endurance be an issue in a final challenge?

7 (9) Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Although blessed to be with supportive teammates like Chet and Sarah, I have a feeling that Devyn’s apparent personal blossoming that the viewer has been privileged to watch is for real.  Her attitude continues to be a highlight.

8 (8) Ashley (Team San Diego) – Ashley may continue to be this low in the rankings because she has yet to differentiate herself from the field.  She appeared helpless (I really can’t blame her) to help Sam when Frank and Zach were drawing blood.

9 (10) Sam (Team San Diego) – Sam : “I am not gym rats like my teammates.  I am not runners and sprinters like my teammates are.”  She was incredible in the arena, but cannot overcome her challenge performance.

ELIMINATED: Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week 5 of 10 – Jemmye, it has been a pleasure.  I truly believe you could have competed with the best of them in the finals and the notion of this when the season began could not have been further from my view.

Biggest Rise: Trishelle (Team Las Vegas), Marie (Team St. Thomas), Devyn (Team Brooklyn)

Biggest Fall: Jasmine (Team Cancun)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1 (2) TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 3, last week: 4.75 (2)

Alton (5), Dustin (1), Trishelle (4), Nany (2)

Can they win as a foursome? Yes, as displayed in Logged Out, this is the strongest, top to bottom foursome in The Challenge.  If the trend in last week’s episode has any afterlife, Alton could be a liability, but for now, he is back in the fold.  Both Nany and Trishelle have fight in them and are here to win money.  There are no two stronger female pairs in this game.  It is to their advantage to remain as four.

What pairings can win?  I think Dustin can win with either Nany (more likely) or Trishelle.  I think Alton remains questionable, but certainly has the physical pedigree to win with either partner.

2 (1) TEAM CANCUN Average: 4, last week: 4 (1)

CJ (3), Jonna (3), Jasmine (6), Derek (4)

Can they win as a foursome? Their unwavering unity is endearing and has been an asset, but if Jasmine’s physical endurance issues creep up in the finals (too many cigarettes?), she is a major liability against Vegas or a Sarah/Chet pairing from Team Brooklyn.  CJ and Jonna may need to start to consider the benefit of going into a final alone.  Derek definitely proved himself worthy of the finals in Logged Out.

What pairings can win? Jonna and CJ is a top 3 pairing.  Jonna and Derek is top 7 pairing.

3 (4) TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 5.25, last week: 5.75 (4)

Sarah (1), Chet (2), JD (7), Devyn (7)

Can they win as foursome? Unlikely.  Devyn is so much fun (even more so minus Big Easy), but her lack of athletic anything in the past is not going to work in a long, endurance event.  If winning The Challenge was all about teamwork, they are your strongest team, but I am not sure that Chet and Sarah could carry Devyn’s weaknesses over a Vegas or a Cancun.  You root for them to stay together because thus far they do it the right way, but at some point, Sarah and Chet may benefit from breaking free.  JD continues to be an enigma.

What pairings can win?  Sarah and Chet can win The Challenge.  Sarah could probably get JD to the finish line as well.  I am not sure Devyn would be able to finish with either Chet or Sarah.

4 (6) TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 5.5, last week: 7.5 (6)

Robb (6), Marie (5), Eliminated: Laura, Trey

Can they win as a pair?  Maybe.  They may both have the Jasmine “too many cigarettes problem” (CT’s addiction was his downfall in Iceland last year), but I was very impressed with their drive and fight this week.  Bare in mind, this is still when Robb and Marie were romantically involved and Robb seems to do everything in his power to make Marie happy.  Winning $250,000 could be under this auspice.

5 (5) TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 8.5, last week: 6.5 (5)

Zach (8), Sam (9), Ashley (8), Frank (9)

Can they win as a foursome? No.  I do not believe they can win anything with Zach, Frank, and Sam all in the mix.  Sam’s amazing arena performance notwithstanding, she struggled with endurance in Logged Out and Frank and Zach struggled with kindness.  The two fallacies will not go together.  In order for San Diego to be back in the mix, Sam may need to go home (along with either guy).

What pairings can win?  Both guys can compete with Ashley against the other strong teams (Vegas, Sarah/Chet, CJ/Jonna).  The question remains, will their implosion this episode allow them to even get there?

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON THE CHALLENGE” preview, this is what I saw:

  • TJ presents the competitors with cow intestines to eat.  Trishelle is not pleased.
  • Frank tells Zach that they are not meant to be friends.
  • Frank (in a crazy rant) tells Zach that he “is not going to be made to look like a fucking crazy person.”

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

David Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out weekly on Derek Kosinski’s UltimateChallengeRadio.com.  The Week 9 power rankings will be available sometime on or after November 15.

5 Things, Movies

5 Things You Need To Know: FLIGHT

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When I see a movie in theaters, I will write the five things you need to know about it.

5 Things You Need to Know About… 

FLIGHT

1. Despite a trailer that presents the movie as “an action-packed mystery thriller” centering around a plane crash, Flight is not a mystery, is not a thriller, and is not about a plane crash.

2. Director Robert Zemeckis’ last live action picture before Flight was 2000’s Cast Away (since he has exclusively made motion captured movies like The Polar Express and Beowolf).  Like Cast Away (and Forrest Gump for that matter), almost the entire running time of Flight features a commanding (and perhaps career-defining) lead performance by an A-List actor.

3. The aforementioned lead actor, Denzel Washington as Captain Whip Whitaker, carries this picture in a way I am not sure another living actor could. Flight works because of his charisma, his complete stronghold of Captain Whitaker’s inner demons and battles, and through his commitment to the at times harrowing truth of Whitaker’s battle with alcohol and drugs.

4. Besides Mr. Washington, Flight features an array of supporting performances by traditionally strong actors that are either lots of fun but feel completely out of place (John Goodman as a hippy drug fixer), super compelling but come out of nowhere and go just as quickly (James Badge Dale as a cancer patient), or strangely subpar (I am looking at you Don Cheadle, Bruce Greenwood, and Melissa Leo).

5. Flight is a MOVIE that dives deep into the soul of one man, but only inspires because of Denzel’s brilliant craft and not because of story or the telling thereof.  Flight and its mechanical failures kept a distance from my empathy and care and its brutal subject matter may cause many curious audiences to do the same.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  His weekly X Factor column appears on Afterbuzztv.com and his weekly THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Power Rankings can be read on Derek Kosinski’s ultimatechallengeradio.com.

"The Challenge", Television

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 7

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The ends of prolific athlete careers can be difficult for both athlete and fan to endure.  Frequently during those final games of final seasons all that remains is a shell of the former self, a shadow and a memory of the good times we’ve had and a reminder of just how quickly time can pass us by.  Larry Bird’s final season in 1992, before his career succumbed to a debilitating back injury, had such a quality.  I remember on a Sunday afternoon in March listening to a throwback game on the radio against the Blazers when Larry was the Legend again for one last time.  As young fan and admirer of my Celtics hero, I knew that this was a special day that I should cherish because there would not be too many more like them (Bird retired that summer).

On rare occasion there is a moment like 1998 Michael Jordan (the Bryon Russell crossover, game-winning basket against Utah that could have been the perfect ending for the greatest basketball player of all-time), when an athlete is able to walk away on the absolute top of the sport that he has dominated.  The promise of these Jordan first endings is often cancelled out by the athlete’s hunger to compete again, resulting in ill-advised comebacks that nostalgically pull at our heart strings and make us yearn for a hopeful reality that is realistically condemned to the past tense as hard as we may wish for it to be like old times.  Watching Jordan on the Wizards in the early 2000s (or Magic in his mid 90s Laker comeback) was at first special because it was Michael in certain flashes, but inevitably was disappointing and painful because it was just not the same player.

In my preseason The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons rankings, I had Alton firmly ranked at number 1.  This is what I wrote at the time:

“Many of you new Challenge viewers will not remember Alton (he was last on The Inferno 3 in 2007).  All I can say is, watch out competition.   Alton is the MJ of Challenge lore.  It would be like if MJ retired in 1993, but instead of coming back in 1995 against largely the same competition, he came back in 2002 to show upstarts like Mr. Bryant and Mr. Iverson just whose league it really was (ironically, this is what he ended up doing with the Wizards).  Alton is a physical specimen (pre Challenge steroid era), super competitive, and a really nice guy.  He is in Turkey for one reason only – to win.  The question is will he be able to bring his teammates along (a la 1991 Jordan) for the ride?  Also, is Nany then his Kwame Brown?  If so, does that make Trishelle his Jud Buechler?”

First off, Nany and Trishelle: I apologize for ever comparing you to Kwame Brown and Jud Buechler.  This is a major misjudgment on my part.  You both have proven yourselves worthy competitors.  As for my Alton assessment, I may have been right to compare him to preretirement MJ, but Wizards MJ is a far superior 2.0 than Alton has turned out to be.  On this week’s aptly titled “Going Insane” episode of The Challenge, we witnessed the unraveling of a former great into a shell of his former self.  (It would be like out of retirement Jordan playing on the Wizards for a month and then quitting on his team because he couldn’t handle the jabbing and joking from Kwame Brown and Richard Hamilton.)  This tragic and terrible fall from grace was depicted throughout the hour in the following incidents:

Incident #1: Alton versus Frank in the gym

This childish man-off got physical (a little pushing by the weights) and could have erupted, but Alton didn’t think it was the time.  Frank was “here all day, bro” and could have continued his verbal sparring beyond the workout session.  It was unfortunate to watch Frank so easily bring Alton down.  The status difference in this space between veteran and rookie was remarkable.  Alton has always been a shorter man who looked humungous.  In this case, he was just a shorter man who looked short.

Incident #2: Alton doesn’t want to go to a beach party

In order for the beach party to happen, all cast members must attend, and Alton wants to stay home and sabotage the fun because he is “just generally annoyed by these kids and their bravado.”  Two of his only (barely hanging on) allies, Sarah and Dustin, kindly plead their case, but Alton seems to care less.  When Frank gets wind of the ensuing storm, he calls it like it is, “It is kind of selfish and you are kind of throwing a temper tantrum like a little five year old.”  Alton leaves the room and then in an amazing moment of loyalty, Dustin supports his Vegas teammate in front of Frank (“another man doesn’t get in people’s face”).  Compared to Dustin’s chivalry and poise, Alton looked like a broken and selfish individual.

Incident #3: The Insane Games

In the first event, “The Chariot Race,” Alton took the reigns as the horse runner and led Vegas to an early lead.  Five years ago, this would be a show of Alton’s athletic and competitive dominance.  There was no way that he would let anyone catch his team.  In the fall of 2012, Alton was not only caught and beaten by young guns Frank (leading San Diego to second) and CJ (leading Cancun to first place), but Alton was so gassed that TJ had to actively cajole him to continue with his team on the next event.  Here is Frank’s take: “Alton, I just beat you and now you are on the ground.  Do you feel emasculated?  Because you should.”  Ouch.

Incident #4: Alton and Zach conversation in the kitchen

After Team New Orleans (the feisty twosome of Knight and Jemmye) wins the “Insane Games” challenge, Alton approaches Zach in the kitchen to ask him to tell Knight to throw in Vegas.  Two things are terribly wrong: 1) He can’t even ask Knight on his own and 2) HE WANTS TO HAVE VEGAS THROWN IN TO THE ARENA!!!  Why Alton? “For me, the arena is the path out of here.”  What is going on?

Incident #5: Alton’s conversation with Nany and Trishelle

Alton tells his Vegas female teammates that he “would love to go into the arena and lose,” forgetting that his selfish decision would result in one of their eliminations, and Nany and Trishelle understandably do not want to go home.  Nany (growing week by week as an irrepressible life force in this game) brings it and asks Alton if the Zach and Frank bullying is at the root of Alton’s unrest.  Alton won’t come close to listening.  “I don’t see it as throwing it.  I see it as letting the kids have fun.”  He continues, “If I want to go into an arena to use it as a passport back to the states, that is what I am going to do.”  Who is this imposter pretending to be Alton?

Incident #6: Alton discusses the situation with Sarah and Trey

This is where things get even weirder.  He tells us that he came on The Challenge this season because “he just wanted a vacation.”  According to Alton, team rumblings about Nany and Dustin going in to the arena (to prevent Alton from screwing over Trishelle or Nany) must not be taken seriously and that they will inevitably chicken out, giving Alton the exit opportunity he so covets.

Incident #7: Alton at the arena with Zach and CJ

Team Cancun and San Diego alpha males are surprised that after all of his talk, Alton is not even going to compete for his team in the arena.  CJ calls him out, Alton objects to the screaming, and Zach gets in his face and tells Alton, “I’m not screaming.”  Poor Nany and Dustin are trying to focus on arena strategy while their “teammate” makes a scene on the sidelines.  Both CJ and Zach have “tough to hear but likely true” interview takes.  Zach:  “He’s just an old fart who is lucky enough to get a call to come here.”  CJ: “I thought Alton was the man who wanted to prove himself as a competitor.”  CJ, I thought the same thing.  I guess we were both wrong.

Incident #8: Alton’s final fall

Perhaps the least overt Alton incident may be the most telling.  During Nany and Dustin’s eventual arena victory over Trey and Laura, you can hear Alton speaking to Trishelle about Nany and Dustin’s apparent struggles, “These kids, they don’t listen.”  In these five condescending words, Alton’s fall has finally reached its low point.  No, he has not left the show yet, but his complete disrespect for Nany and Dustin, two people (especially Dustin), who have been so supportive to him throughout the season, is unforgivable.  Maybe “Zach and Frank have gotten to his head” as Trishelle suggests.  Maybe this is some evil Alton clone who has come to the Challenge to disparage the mighty “kids.”  Maybe an epiphany will occur and he will suddenly snap back into the Challenge hero that I remember, but I fear it may be too late.  Time may heal these wounds and someday we will remember Alton again for that incredible competitor that so impressed us in the past, but for now, we are left with a selfish, unpredictable, horrible teammate, and questionable dude.

Before we hit the rankings, here are a few more non Alton-tidbits to pull from this episode:

  • The Insane Games were completely silly and MTV has a GREAT time with it.  The “ear pull” and “egg drop” took close to zero strategy (Chet: “There is no strategy to ear pull.  I mean, what do you do?”), but producers sure had fun in post production with sound effects and slow motion replays.  The “15 pound fish” duel for elimination was quite the event.  I loved the intensity of Marie’s conviction about her fish dueling skills compared to Laura.  TJ’s fake horse neigh is a top ten moment of the season.
  • Before jousting in the final event, Knight hysterically pointed out the “destiny” of his name in such an event.  Good for New Orleans to achieve power team status (even if in a silly event).
  • Although Trey and Laura were eliminated in the arena, TJ pointed out “there are no quitters today,” a final dig at Big Easy.  There is nothing that TJ hates more than quitters.
  • Despite Alton’s antics, Nany and Dustin (in the arena) and Sarah (in the loser’s bracket duels against Laura) again showed their incredible resolve and drive to win.
  • Laura and Trey should be commended for lasting so long in this game.  After spending every Wednesday night with these two for the past several months, I hope their break from a weekly TV appearance will give them some real time to figure out if what is between them (there loyalty and connection are really commendable, especially in this reality TV medium).

On to the rankings, with some serious movement this week…

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

1. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 11

What makes Dustin special is that he can overcome moments of justified confusion and despair (“I don’t know where to turn.  I have to clean up whatever mess Alton made.  I don’t know what to do.”) to galvanize his teammates (“Nany is like my little sister.  If she needs me to show up for her, I will.”) and find ways to win (“Dustin is a fighter.  I am thinking, I am so glad that you’re my partner.” – Nany).  As mentioned earlier, I love how he was able to be brutally honest and critical of Alton surrounded by family (in this case, Sarah and Chet), but when Frank’s wrath interrupted his space, he was loyal to Alton and kept family business private.  He didn’t want to go into the arena, but helping Nany and helping his team was more important than his personal feelings.  We see Dustin cross a physical contact line with Frank in the preview for later in the season.  Let us hope that Mr. Zito can stay in the game to have the opportunity to continue to lead his team to have a shot in the final challenge.

2. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 4 of 11

How did CJ do in the “Chariot race” event (the only event that took any real skill), Jonna? “CJ dominated it.”  Coupled with his on point stand up to Alton pre-Arena, CJ plays the game at a very high level and expects his competition (especially the best of it), to do the same.  His Landon-ian performance is still in line to have a shot in the final challenge.

3. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 2 of 11

Zach was on Derrick Kosinski’s podcast last week and perhaps his most telling statement was about Frank’s incredible endurance in challenges.  This was on display in the “Chariot Race” and in the preview for the rest of the season.  Frank takes a slight dip this week because although he may have showed up Alton in their little tiffs, Dustin came across as the more righteous dude in his heated encounters with Frank.

4. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 3 of 11

Chet’s line of the week during the challenge: “JD already looked like an idiot.  I guess it’s my turn.”

5. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 6 of 11

Zach is back in the big boy mix with an informative ultimatechallengeradio.com podcast, some justified tension with Alton, and the realization that he and Frank are running one part of the house.  In a astute hypothetical question posed by Derrick on the podcast about a rookie dream team in future challenges, I was further impressed with his selection and competitor respect for supposed opponent Dustin.

6. Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week 8 of 11

Yes, “The Insane Games” were foolish, but the Team New Orleans victory was a significant accomplishment for Knight and Jemmye.  Respect for Knight grows by the week.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 7 of 11

8. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 11

Derek was silent, whereas Robb, for the first time in many weeks, had something to say of real value.  His competitive fire during the challenge and his arena support of Trey and Laura were refreshing and appreciated.  The foreshadowed duel between these two (as again previewed in the promo for the rest of the season) will determine the ultimate power advantage to these two “nice guys, happy to be here” competitors.

9. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 9 of 11

JD’s week was encapsulated in the following quotations:

Chet, on JD’s look during the “Chariot Race”: “He looks like a prepubescent Secretariat.”

JD, on why he struggled so much: “Not only am I having to pull Chet, I’m having to pull his big ego, Devyn’s double D tits, and Sarah, so it is a lot of weight to carry.”

Chet, on why JD failed his team: “He was horsing around too much.”

Devyn, on how Sarah’s fish faired against Laura’s in the loser’s bracket elimination: “The fish put in more effort than JD did in the horse challenge.  I am just saying.”

10. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 11

See above.  One final note: Alton’s low ranking and current game doghouse designation do not have to be permanent.  He is welcome to break out of this undesirable state at any time.  Sadly, if the after show (hosted by hair fashion novice Jonny Moseley) is any indication, there may be some issues going on with our fallen hero.  I am hoping that I am wrong.

ELIMINATED: Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 11

Biggest Rise: Robb (Team St. Thomas, kind of a surprise at this point)

Biggest Fall: Alton (Team Las Vegas)

THE WOMEN

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 11

Sarah takes care of her business.  She destroys Laura in the loser’s round (“My game face is on.  I never thought in a million years I would be so serious about smacking someone with a fish.”), keeping Team Brooklyn out of the arena for the first time since Team Austin left.  She understands that her connection with Alton (the after show proved that it was never anything too serious, let alone a relationship) is not worth jeopardizing the strength of her team: “I am way more concerned about Brooklyn than I am about anything going on with Alton.  Everything that he is involved with is an extra stress that I definitely don’t need…I don’t have the energy to deal with that.  I will give him his space.”  This social-emotional intelligence flexing is an asset to Sarah and her team.  She is not blinded by a crush to understand that Alton has reached a tipping point away from “fun to hang out with” and towards “volatile and may need some space.”

2. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 3 of 11

Nany has earned her way to number 2 in these rankings.  Since her clothes in the pool episode (so not her fault), she has been a consummate fighter and a formidable competitor.  She handled the Alton situation with great poise and strength (“I am not going to go out of this game looking like a punk.”) and was willing to step up to the arena sand to take matters of her fate in this game into her own hands.  It also helps her that, if traditional practice dictates, she will continue to be linked to Dustin in arena battles and won’t have to worry about whether Alton is ready to end his vacation.

3. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 11

4. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 4 of 11

Consistent and drama free work coupled with unquestioned team unity translates to frontrunner status.  Will this blissful existence remain when J and J are actually challenged in this The Challenge?

5. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 8 of 11

This “softball player [who] knows how to throw eggs” may not be having any victory sex tonight with Knight (her response was one of the episode’s finest moments), but her power team accomplishment moves her up into the top five in the rankings.  For all their dysfunction as a couple, as a couple of teammates, Knight and Jemmye are loyal, communicative, and dynamic.  I will not be surprised if they continue to go far in this game.

6. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 11

“I don’t want to stay here with Alton.  That is like a death sentence for Team Vegas.”  Sadly for Trishelle, her potential linkage with Alton in an arena lowers her stock in this game.  Can she put on your poker face girl and get your Vegas housemate in line?

7. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 7 of 11

I wasn’t sure why Marie wanted to fish attack so badly (“Whenever you are in a competition, you pick your best player, and it is probably me.”), but from the result, clearly she was right.  She wants to win (Alton could learn a thing or two) and knew Laura would not do well against Sarah.  With Laura/Trey out of the picture, she and Robb have an opportunity to prove themselves in this competition.  I can now say with strong assurance that no matter what, Marie will bust everything she has to make this happen.

8. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 11 of 11

Zach’s positive podcast comments about Ashley’ competitor worth moved her up a few spots this week.  I am still waiting for more intel and screen time from this one.

9. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 6 of 11

It is not that Devyn got weaker, it is just that her competition seems to be a little stronger.  With that said, she is giving Brooklyn teammate Chet a run for his money as the best interview on this show.

10. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 9 of 11

It looks like next week’s preview (of Sam struggling in the challenge) may be the validation for her bottom ranking.

ELIMINATED: Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 10 of 11

Biggest Rise: Jemmye (Team New Orleans)

Biggest Fall: Devyn (Team Brooklyn)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM CANCUN Average: 4, last week: 4.25 (2)

CJ (2), Jonna (3), Jasmine (4), Derek (7)

They are back on top again with a strong showing in the challenge and a CJ step up to Alton.

2. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 4.75, last week: 3.5 (1)

Alton (10), Dustin (1), Trishelle (6), Nany (2)

Alton’s insanity is the cause for their big drop.  Nany, Dustin, and Trishelle would be the strongest team of three.

3. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 5.5, last week: 8 (5)

Knight (6), Jemmye (5), Eliminated: McKenzie, Preston

Team New Orleans at number 3?  What is this?

4. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 5.75, last week: 4.75 (3)

Sarah (1), Chet (4), JD (9), Devyn (9)

JD and Devyn find their ways back to the bottom of the rankings, further pushing the full Team Brooklyn down with them.

4. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 6.5, last week: 7 (4)

Zach (5), Sam (10), Ashley (8), Frank (3)

The Frank and Zach tandem are a huge force in this game, but the female contingent is still unproven.

6. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 7.5, last week: 9.5 (6)

Robb (8), Marie (7), Eliminated: Laura, Trey

Marie and Robb are primed for a resurgence out of the Trey and Laura shadow.

 TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  

1. Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 1.5

T-3. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2.5, CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 2.5

4. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 3 

5. Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3.5

T-7. Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 5, Sarah and JD (Team Brooklyn) Average: 5

T-9. Knight and Jemmye (Team New Orleans) Average: 5.5, Frank and Ashley (Team San Diego) Average: 5.5

10. Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 6

And finally, during the “STILL TO COME ON BATTLE OF THE SEASONS” preview, this is what I saw:

  • Frank and Sam going at it in a challenge
  • Marie vomits
  • Frank goes off on a teammate
  • Dustin and Frank have a physical altercation
  • Marie cries on the bus
  • Zach and Frank have an altercation
  • Devyn says, “You just got your ass beat by the same girl chasing your ex-girlfriend.”
  • JD vomits
  • The final challenge in the desert looks impossible
  • Dustin hits Frank

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

David Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out every Monday on Derek Kosinski’s UltimateChallengeRadio.com.  The Week 8 power rankings will be available on November 11.

Television

Britney is not amazing as The X Factor stumbles into live shows

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NIGHT 1 – Wednesday

There is really no way around this: Wednesday night’s first X Factor live show of the season was an unmitigated disaster.  The sixteen final acts (four from each mentor’s category) performed a hodgepodge of nondescript, throwaway songs mostly overblown with unnecessary and painfully distracting dancers and stage production that would lead a first time viewer (“Auditions aren’t for me, but let me check out the first live show!”) to question the overall talent and struggle to find more than a few favorite performers to root for.  Many acts (especially the mentees of Demi and Britney) were given hideous and peculiar makeovers that looked like they were either put through a 1985 VMA Awards time capsule (in Demi’s case), Britney Spears’ 1999 closet (what she did to “Hit Me Baby One More Time-ify” Carly Rose was unconscionable), or “Yo MTV Raps” wardrobe room (Lyric 145, who LA reasonably questioned for selling out).  Loyal viewers from the beginning of this season wanted to know what had happened to their favorite acts (What was Jason Brock doing?  Why is Demi pigeonholing Jennel as a rocker chick?) and were further confused by others (the constructed rivalry between CeCe and Paige became a competition of who could look the least human).  This was just a mess.

In fairness to the X Factor brass (and furthering the theme of last week’s column), the abrupt Giants sweep of the Tiger in the World Series moved the X Factor airing up one day, so maybe they weren’t ready.  Maybe the format of this week (no public vote, judges select the final twelve) led Simon and friends to make the first live show an audition for next week and thereby wanted to hold back any semblance of quality.  Who knows?  What is clear is that the final twelve (and the mentors in their song selection and overall guidance) have their work cut out for them next week to reattempt to engage the American public in these aspiring to stardom musical acts.

Since this was the first live show, I must note how both the live debuts of new hosts Mario “having a strong career second act” Lopez and Khloe “daughter of Attorney Robert” Kardashian Odom and first-time judge/mentor Britney “tightly handled” Spears faired (Yes, this is Demi’s first live show as well, but she is honest, natural, not always affective, but refreshingly unrehearsed).

THE NEW HOSTS

Mario Lopez, channeling Idol season 3 Ryan Seacrest, is a hosting/entertainment show professional.  He reads the teleprompter with the best of them, knows how to handle producer instruction in his ears, and is not easily rattled when live problems arise.  He will never take Steve Jones-like risks (most of the time a great thing, although I do miss the limitless unintentional comedy of a Steve Jones hosting experience), yielding a smooth execution that will never excessively standout or dramatically underperform.

Khloe Kardashian Odom, who is really diving into the hosting deep end here without knowing how to swim, had a respectable debut and will only grow into the role (wardrobe body part accentuation notwithstanding).  When teleprompter reading, she is a work in progress, often struggling with word emphasis, cadences, and timing.  This will improve and it will certainly help to have Super Mario by her side.  Khloe is at her best when she is let loose to improvise (multiple times referring to “sexy Simon”) and hold judge comments accountable.  In this exchange with Demi (maybe the most real moment of the episode) after 1432’s (what is up with this name?) performance, Khloe channeled her late father’s courtroom skills:

Khloe: “Demi, who was the one that clicked for you, Demi?”

Demi: (not hearing or ignoring the question) “Next up, we have my final contestant from my group…”

Khloe: “Demi, Demi, who was the one that clicked for you?”

Demi: “Oh, I am…they should figure it out on their own?  I am not going to say it right here…”

Khloe: “I want to know and I think they should know so they know how to work better together.”

Demi: “I think that they should all just…you (with a point)”

Mario: (chiming in) “Ok, it took a little interrogation.”

Khloe: (not backing down) “Which one?  Carmella?”

Demi: “Yes, I think you all should learn something from her.”

This is a refreshing live TV exchange and more of this from Khloe is only a good thing.

BRITNEY SPEARS LIVE

Here is a complete breakdown of the sixteen comments made by Britney after the sixteen acts with some of my brief observations to follow (I sometimes struggled capturing punctuation and grammar of Britney speak):

“I felt, I just feel like you’re outrageous, you’re outrageous, I love everything about it, the costumes are beautiful, your performance was great, and I think you are a true star.” – after Paige Thomas (Does she even know what “outrageous” means?)

“I am so proud of you, I can’t believe.  You were a little genius up there and I love the performance the way you gave it.  And, it was on, I loved it.” – after Arin Ray (As opposed to the way you didn’t give it?  Little genius?  Really?)

“You were amazing.  You completely surprised me.  I was not expecting that and I felt you.  It was amazing.” – after David Correy (Note: The word “amazing” was used two times.  Oh, there will be more.)

“I thought it was very interesting.  I thought you guys – I wasn’t expecting that, and I felt like you really delivered.  You had a great performance and I think you were stunning.” – after Sister C

“I felt like you rocked it out.  You completely rocked it out.  I love your hairstyle.  I love the way you dressed.  I loved everything about.  It was really amazing.” – after Jennel Garcia (Note: The use of “Amazing” for a third time.)

“You impressed me so much.  I am so incredibly proud of you and I’m, you were amazing.” after Diamond White (Of course, above all else, “amazing” (number 4).)

“I really feel like you were really good and I feel your effort and but I was a little bored.” after Vino Alan (At least this appears to be a break from the “amazing” script.)

“I was genuinely entertained.” – after Jason Brock (Her emphasis on “genuinely” is classic.)

“I agree with LA. I felt like overall it was a really great performance.  I loved your outfit.  I love your performance.  It was really great, but your vocals were a little weak sometimes.” after CeCe Frey (Read this back one more time.  She really struggles with sentence structure variation.)

“I feel like you wow me every time you perform.  Every time I see you I’m just like “I know you get the girls, you get me” and I think you’re amazing.” – after Tate Stevens (What is she talking about?  “I know you get the girls”?  What does this even mean?  Note: “Amazing” number 5.)

“I disagree.  I think you are a true star.  You are amazing.  You are the best and I loved it.  It was great.” – after Beatrice Miller (“Amazing” number 6.  Beatrice’s response to Mario’s question about what Britney is like: “Britney is the best.  She totally gets what it is like to be a kid.”  I fear this is all too true.)

“I really feel like you could have chose a better song but overall it was really interesting and entertaining.” – after Lyric 145 (You know “interesting” can often be used as a euphemism for “I don’t like it” or “I don’t get it.”  I think for Britney, “interesting” means interesting.)

“I felt like your energy just drew us in and you were very, very honest.  I was pleasantly surprised.” – after 1432

“I feel like you are a true star.  You have what it takes.  I was definitely entertained and you are amazing.” – after Willie Jones (“Amazing” number 7.)

“I felt your vocals were amazing and you did a great, great job.” – after Carly Rose Sonneclar (“Amazing number 8.)

“Your trio is amazing.  You are absolutely adorable…(the audience it too loud to hear)…you guys were amazing.” – after Emblem3 (And, finally, “amazing” 9 and 10).

The transcript does not even come close to encapsulating the struggle that is Britney’s live verbal expression.  She is a mess and seems to using a word bank of eight words (amazing, interesting, love, great, entertaining, I, definitely, felt).  I know this was her first night, but I am concerned going forward that we are in store for more of this inconsequential babble.  It begs the question (especially considering her disastrous mentor artistic choices this week) if she will be able to support her very talented teens.  Can you imagine if Khloe had interrogated her?  What would she have said?  (“You are amazing.”)  My take: I think like all parts of her 2012 life, Britney is carefully controlled by her handlers.  Everything she says, does, and eats is predetermined or meticulously edited (including concert performances).  This is her first sojourn into live expression in some time and the philosophy of her handlers this week was to give her some token phrases to work from and to keep it all brief.  I hope that she is allowed a little more leverage going forward so we at least get a sense of what (and dare I say if) she thinks on her own.

MOMENT OF THE NIGHT

After Jason Brock’s horrendous (Simon’s word) performance he asks, “Mario Lopez, can I pinch your butt?”  Mario responds, “Oh, we have to keep it PG-13 up here buddy, live show.”  Classic.

NIGHT 2 – Thursday

This week, the public sits back and (mostly) does not enjoy, while the mentors choose two of their acts to immediately go forward to the final twelve and two of their acts to perform a “save me song.”  Post “save me song,” Simon, Britney, LA, and Demi must keep one of their acts and send their other act home.  Briefly, here is what went down.

YOUNG ADULTS

Demi immediately sends Jennel Garcia and Paige Thomas to the safe place.  Jennel is her biggest no-brainer, who, despite some misguided rock angst fabrication on Wednesday night, is the only Demi contestant that has any shot in this competition.  Paige Thomas’ Rhianna-lite performance Wednesday night (“outrageous” according to Ms. Spears) was weird enough for Demi to lead her through.  CeCe (despite some pitch problems and an overall creepy affect) clearly differentiated herself (in a good way) from the one trick Southern gentleman, Willie Jones, ending his X Factor life.

Moving on to the top 12: Jennel Garcia, Paige Thomas, CeCe Frey

Who has a chance to win this competition: Jennel Garcia

OVER 25s

Now that LA portends to be more on board with his Over 25s group, I have gone in an opposite direction and left Wednesday’s live show unsure of what to do with any of these men.  LA selected Tate Stevens (the conservative choice, a good singer, not much more) and Vino Alan (visibly vindictive for Britney’s “boring” comment) to move on.  David Correy’s “way too much” rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone” (Demi and Simon were so on point with their comments) and Jason Brock’s “One Moment in Time” (a great song selection, the too high key yielded some unreachable high notes) were aptly like judging, according to Simon, “two horses at the pack of the pack.”  LA made the right choice by keeping Jason who could use better mentoring and less “Mr. Entertainment!” from Mr. Reid in future weeks.

Moving on to the top 12: Vino Alan, Tate Stevens, Jason Brock

Who has a chance to win this competition: At this point, no one

TEENS

Britney made a mess of her group this week, so we all felt relief when she correctly put Carly Rose Sonneclar through to the top 12.  Her selection of Beatrice Miller was a bit of a surprise (especially to the emotional, Beatrice).  Arin and Diamond both strutted their vocal stuff leaving Britney with “like the hardest decision ever.”  She chose the perhaps more ready for primetime Arin (I am not sure I really get it) over Diamond White (such a sweetheart).  Is it too late to assign Simon to both the groups and the teens and have Britney sit back and sip Pepsi?  I don’t think she would mind!

Moving on to the top 12: Beatrice Miller, Carly Rose Sonenclar, Arin Ray

Who has a chance to win this competition: Carly Rose Sonenclar

GROUPS

Simon’s category had the best showing on Wednesday night (although I was kind of with LA on the hip-hop-less Lyric 145 performance) and all his groups have something to add to this competition.  However, his selections of Emblem3 (the frontrunner at this point) and Lyric 145 to the top 12 were the right decisions.  Sister C was Simon’s group casualty and as little C sister pointed out, maybe they should stick to country and stay away from pop.  1432 is saved for another week, although their second name (they used to be Lylas) is not.  Simon wants an on-line competition to make a better name.  It is not a good sign that this five girl construction is still in search of a viable name at this point.

Moving on to the top 12: Emblem3, Lyric 145, the artist formally known as 1432/Lylas

Who has a chance to win this competition: Emblem3.  I finally understood why they are the frontrunners this week.  Although never going to be my jam (this bad behavior will not help), they are going to be very attractive to young music consumers who want to watch three young, good looking dudes have so much fun onstage.  I think their talent is in this charisma (certainly not musically) and like always on The X Factor, in Simon we trust.

What do you think?  Is season 2 of The X Factor Emblem3‘s to lose? Is Britney going to add more words to her vocabulary?

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  His weekly THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASON Power Rankings appears every Monday on Derrick Kosinski’s ultimatechallengeradio.com.

Blog Posts, NBA

30 Reasons: A Big Old NBA Preview

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Tonight marks the 30th time I have lived through an opening night to the NBA season. (I am aware that the first few years I may not have been totally aware of what was going on – The Fo Fo Fo Sixers, rampant cocaine use, Jack Sikma’s hair – but do have real memories that beautifully begin with the 1986 “greatest NBA team of all-time” Celtics.) In honor of this triple decade milestone and the number of important ways the number 30 seems to play in NBA life (30 NBA teams, the number Olden Polynice wore as a member of the 1994 Los Angeles Clippers), I will numerically countdown the major stories, players, subplots, and trends in my most beloved professional sport.

30 – The number of years of David Stern’s tenure as NBA commissioner when he retires in February of 2014

Deputy Adam Silver and Retirement Tour David Stern

As announced last week, David’s Stern’s 16 month retirement tour has begun. In delaying his exit for over a year, Stern will pass Pete Rozelle as the longest serving commissioner in American professional sports history (it does seem like Bud Selig has been around a longer time). Although often criticized for his Machiavellian control and ruthless tactics, Mr. Stern has guided a league that showed NBA Finals games on tape delay to an international juggernaut whose signature players represent some of the most recognized personalities in the world. Although his tenure timing was impeccably placed with the rise of Magic, Larry, and MJ in the 80s, Stern’s creative initiatives, marketing brilliance, media-savvy decision-making (the NBA continues to be ahead of its time with on-line access), and guiding problem-solving skills during crises (two major labor disputes, the fact that Jamal Magloire was an all-star) have fostered the Association’s remarkable rise to preeminence. David Stern will be missed (and we have over a year and half to reminisce as successor Adam Silver waits in the “I have to handle second round of draft duty booing again?” wings).

29 – The number of NBA teams chasing the Miami Heat

For the foreseeable future (and not since Shaqobe’s 2000 Lakers behemoth), there is the Miami Heat and then everyone else (especially after the OKC/James Harden breakup this weekend). The Heat are the definitive league alpha dog and as chants at Sunday’s Celtics open practice can attest, it is all about “beat[ing] the Heat.”

27 – 28 – The ages of NBA royalty

In the year 2013, the following is a list of just some of the players who will at some point be either 27 or 28 years old: LeBron James, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Carmelo Anthony, Andre Igoudala, Rajon Rondo, Zaza Pachulia, and Dwight Howard. Beyond Zaza (who feels like he has been around longer than 28 years), this is a healthy portion of the leagues elite, Olympic Gold Medal-winning, modern superstar class. 27-28 also marks the years in which many of the best all-time have made the ultimate leap. Jordan won his first of six championships at 28. Bird was in the middle of three consecutive MVPs. Magic’s Lakers won back to back championships, the first team to do so since Russell’s Celtics. LeBron has already reached the mountaintop (more on this later). How will Rajon Rondo and his Olympic brothers fare?

26 – The number of points per game that Kevin Love averaged in 2011-2012

Considering that the NBA’s best classic power forward has seen his points per game average rise an incredible average of 5 points per game over his first four seasons (a truly amazing statistic, albeit with relative minute per game increases), what is in store for Mr. Love and his Timberwolves this year? A recent push-up accident has sidelined Love for several weeks to start the season and with Ricky Rubio’s offensive wizardry expected to miss some early season time as well, the T-Wolves have their work cut out for them early on. In an injury-less world (especially one that features the potential of a 2009 Brandon Roy), they are a playoff basketball team. Due to injuries, I see Minnesota as the least predictive preseason pick.

25 – The legacy of Benji Wilson

Benji Wilson

30 for 30’s awesome recent documentary, “Benji,” chronicled the life and tragic shooting death of early 80s Chicago High School hoops star, Benji Wilson. In the fall of 1984, Benji and his Simeon Vocational High School team were coming off an Illinois Basketball State Championship and Benji was ranked first among all prep players in the country. According to Nike guru, Sonny Vaccaro, Benji was destined to be a surefire NBA star. Although I had heard of him, I knew very little before watching the doc. I was moved by his story and was surprised by the scope of his basketball influence and legacy. Adorning the number 25 for Simeon, Wilson inspired future Simeon star Derrick Rose and current high school phenom (if you have not heard of him, you will by 2014) Jabari Parker to wear number 25 in Benji’s honor. Mr. Rose will spend most (if not all) of the 2012-2013 recovering from last spring’s nasty ACL injury (a major NBA story that did tip the Eastern Conference balance of power) and Parker (a high school senior) is still a few years away, but the NBA “what could have been” story of Benji will not soon leave my mind.

24 – Kobe Bryant’s number

The Black Mamba, now entering his seventeenth season in the Association, has his best supporting cast since 2002. (Speaking of 2002, I was watching an episode of Alias that originally aired in 2002. Sydney’s friend Francie was all excited about going to a Laker game to see Kobe. If you had told me that the least dated thing about an Alias episode from ten years ago was seeing Kobe, then a six year veteran, play for the Lakers, I would have believed you not.) Much of league banter (and a portion of this column) centers on LeBron James and his ascension to the league throne. What is often lost (although Laker hype has been real) is just how amazing Kobe’s career has been (to the point that outside of LA, he may be a little underrated). He is currently fourth all-time in points and will, barring injury, probably pass Wilt sometime after the All-Star game and pass MJ early next year. He has five rings and the best chance for a sixth this year (an even better team than when he won in 2009 and 2010). Let’s say (gulp, god forbid) the Lakers put it all together and win it all in June. Kobe is inarguably moved ahead of Jerry West and Oscar Robertson as the third best guard of all-time (behind MJ and Magic), but I could argue that with six rings (stretched over 13 seasons to Magic’s 5 in 12 seasons), he has to be strongly considered as the best Laker of all-time (and subsequently only behind Michael for guards). Considering his suffering through the wasteful Smush Parker/Chris Mihm/Kwame Brown years, Kobe’s career (at age 34) is already transcendent, but could even have more life in it yet (thank you to German modern medicine!) and if the game’s best center and top 3 player loves LA (as I think Dwight will), crafty veteran Bryant could win more than just one more (LeBron will have a lot to say about this) and then how do we see him historically? Kobe Bryant may never be considered the best player of all-time (Jordan sneers in disgust of the mere thought), but his ceiling could be the best career of all-time.

23 – The average Brooklyn Nets win totals from the last two seasons

In case you hadn’t heard (wait really? Are you sure?), Brooklyn has a new basketball team. They are really from Brooklyn (like the Dodgers, Jay-Z, or Streisand) and are ready to dominate the NBA apparel market (if you have been a media cocoon and haven’t noticed, trust me – you will). Despite the Barclays Center/”welcome home”/best borough/monochromatic onslaught, there is still basketball to be played and the Nets have averaged 22 wins over the last two seasons (and I know last year was only 65 games, but they had only 12 wins the year before so it all evens out). After losing out on the media catastrophe that was the Dwight Howard sweepstakes, they acquired Joe “something is suspicious when your old team rejoices in unloading their supposed best player” Johnson, resigned the rebounding-deficient Brook “not your most eloquent public speaker” Lopez and Kris “I am so excited to be another year removed from the whole 72 day marriage to Kim Kardashian” Humphries, and were able to keep Deron “has yet to have a significant NBA moment” Williams only because Mark Cuban was absent from the Dallas Mavericks’ sales pitch on account of Shark Tank filming obligations (an amazing program) in LA. Throw in some journeyman bench veterans (Reggie Evans, Jerry Stackhouse, Keith Bogans, Josh Childress), some foreign players (Teletovic, Shengelia), one savvy move (C.J. Watson, a steal from Chicago), serviceable returnees (Gerald Wallace, MarShon Brooks), and the NBA’s great enigma (Andrae Blatche), and you have yourself a professional basketball team! On paper, they are certainly intriguing, but in actuality, I question their defense, their ability to find chemistry, and the potential for their best player to be a best player on a contending team. Could the Brooklyn goodwill and honestly positive franchise momentum (the New Jersey Nets, besides a brief Jason Kidd glory period in the early 2000s, were a eastern conference trouble spot) lead them to a 3 or 4 seed in the conference? Possibly. Let’s just not raise the banner yet, people.

22 – The number of games over .500 the Knicks will be (and the Eastern Conference 3 seed at 52-30)

One of my big bold 2012-2013 predictions is that the Knicks are going to be good (I mean really good). With Jason Kidd’s steadying force (more on that in a bit), the Brooklyn over-hype as motivation, an amazing collection of the leagues oldest veterans, some defensive possibilities with Ronnie Brewer, Iman Shumpert, and Tyson Chandler all playing at the same time, and Carmelo Anthony ready to make the ultimate leap (this is going to be most important), I think the Knicks will finally get over the underachieving regular season hump be a force to be reckoned with. Carmelo is the obvious key and if his permanent move to the 4 (Amare must accept a role off the bench, they simply cannot play Melo, Chandler, and Amare at the same time) works for all parties, watch out. I remember his three-point barrage game in London against Nigeria when on this night, Carmelo was the best player in the world. He has this in him and now that LeBron has reached the NBA land of glory, his old rival Melo wants a piece. Knicks will be the three seed in the East. You read it here (and probably only here, tough) first.

21 – Seasons since Larry Bird last played

There is not an NBA moment that goes by that I don’t miss watching the Legend play. For the first time in my lifetime, Larry Bird will not be an active member of the NBA (stepping down last July as Pacers general manager). I already feel the loss. We miss you, Larry.

20 – The age Anthony Davis turns in March

Anthony Davis

Believe the hype. Anthony Davis is a legit physical specimen, gained essential knowledge (especially in work ethic and game preparation) and confidence playing with Team USA this summer (thank you Blake Griffin injury), and is primed to be a star in this league. I love the New Orleans situation for him – great, young player’s coach in Monty Williams, a stud scorer on the wing (Eric Gordon), some promising young character guys to grow with (Austin Rivers), and some freedom to find his game in a low pressure, high upside team. He will win the 2012-2013 rookie of the year (he is going to get major minutes – often a necessity for ROY, Portland’s Damian Lillard will be the runner-up) and will be a highlight machine for doing things that no one else can (“run the floor, big man!”, the Western Conference version of Rajon Rondo). Welcome to the league, big fella.

19 – Current over/under on Bobcats wins going in to the season

I will take the under. Despite my genuine enjoyment of Michael Kidd-Gilchrist’s everything and my adoration for Gerald Henderson’s dad’s Celtic years (“Henderson stole the ball”), this is a painful team to be any part of who need to get even worse (is it possible?) before they can get better. For 41 nights during the year, season ticket holders in NBA arenas across the country will be looking for seat takers when the Bobcats come to town. The idea that Michael Jordan (the NBA’s ultimate modern era winner) has anything to do (he has everything to do with this team) makes me feel a little sick.

18 – The number of seasons played by Grant Hill (in fairness he was injured for one) and Jason Kidd entering 2012-2013

It is incredible that the two co-rookie of the year winners from 1995 are still here and almost twenty years later, will continue to be key contributors to their respective (and new) teams. Both are noteworthy for their “U2 in their first twenty years like” reinvention and subsequent preservation. Hill went from being the heir to the Michael/Scottie wing player throne to a devastating and potentially career ending injury-plagued stretch in Orlando to become a stalwart and efficient scorer and great on ball defender in his recent Steve Nash Phoenix years. Now, as a wing off the bench in LA for the Clippers,

he will be a major piece in the defend Kevin Durant/Kobe Bryant/LeBron James sweepstakes (something they severely lacked) and will likely play crunch time minutes next to CP3 and Blake. Jason Kidd was the league’s best point guard for many years (especially in his back-to-back Finals runs with the Nets), but was able to reinvent himself as smart distributor who can shoot wide open threes (he is third all-time!!!) with the Mavericks (finally winning a championship in 2011). Now as the Knicks backup point guard (backing up Ray “I have only been out of shape once in my career” Felton), he will play manageable minutes for a 39 year old, but could see lots of crunch time as the calming energy next to Carmelo, Amare, and JR Smith (especially in need of a calming force). My hat goes off to both of these two.

17 – The number of championships won by the Boston Celtics all-time

16 – The number of championships won by the Los Angeles Lakers franchise all-time

Although an admitted and unabashed loyal Celtics follower, I think this is a legitimate competition despite Laker naysayers always pointing out that five Laker trophies were handed out in Minneapolis before 1955. In Lakers defense (or no offense to the Celtics), since Bill Russell’s retirement in 1969, the Celtics have won six championships and the Lakers have won eleven. The competition for all-time NBA team supremacy heats up even more this year with a both teams doing some essential retooling in the world of LeBron and everyone else that place them both in the title contender conversation. The way I look at it? In a current league in which one team careers are more rare than a Andris Biedrins made free throw, I know how lucky I have been to watch Kobe Bryant and Paul Pierce represent these two storied franchises since 1998 (Kobe arrived in 1996). Other players have come and gone, but Pierce and Bryant have managed to survive their own trade demands, lousy teams (although Kwame Brown is one thing, Pierce has had his own slew of awful teammates), and life-altering moments to become the signature players of the post Magic and Larry eras of their respective clubs. It continues to be a privilege to enter an NBA season with a Kobe-led Lakers team and a Pierce-led Celtics team competing for an NBA title and historical bragging rights. May the best (Celtics) team win.

15 – My take: Kyrie Irving will be one of the top 15 players in the NBA this year

Here are my picks for the All-NBA Teams for 2012-2013 (and since the all-star voting now is sensitive to the movement away from true centers toward “bigs”, I will follow suit):

All NBA First Team – LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Rajon Rondo

All NBA Second Team – Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Love, Chris Bosh

All NBA Third Team – Kyrie Irving, James Harden, Deron Williams, Andre Igoudala, Kevin Garnett

14 – The teams that are not making the playoffs

The following teams will not be making the 2013 NBA playoffs:

East – Bobcats (awful), Magic, Raptors (close, but not yet), Wizards (more professional, equally bad), Cavaliers (Kyrie is a lone bright spot in this group), Bucks, Pistons (a valiant effort)

West – Blazers, Kings (the NBA’s most combustible team), Jazz, Suns, Hornets (one of the most fun teams to watch), Rockets (ditto), Mavericks

13 – James Harden’s number, the new Houston Rocket alpha-dog

I think I have a pretty good handle of the NBA and certainly revere its history, but to say I understand the machinations of its economic system would be a gross overstatement (I leave this to the experts – I am looking at you Zach Lowe, Adrian Wojnarowski, Bill Simmons, and competent NBA GMs). My understanding is that James Harden is a Houston Rocket (and is about to sign max deal extension) because the Harden wanted max money and the Thunder did not want to pay a higher luxury tax. This forced the team with most credible threat to LeBron’s kingdom (more on this later) to send their 23-year-old budding star packing. What does this mean for oh great bearded one, Mr. Harden? I am of the camp that thinks Harden is legit and will be a top fifteen player in the league as soon as this year (see my All-NBA selections above, making the Thunder decision to trade all the more baffling). The Rockets went from a bunch of weird parts plus Jeremy Lin and Omer “defensive genius” Asik to a very intriguing team (especially if Royce White gains some NBA comfort) that will have cap flexibility down the line and a star player in Harden. Despite some win-loss induced growing pains, Harden could very well lead the Rockets toward the mix for the 7-8 seeds in the Western Conference playoff picture. I wish Coach McHale the best of luck.

12 – The 12th man, the chemist

All things NBA master Bill Simmons recently developed the idea of the NBA chemist (detailed here) that depicts the importance of that glue guy at the end of an NBA bench whose intangible contributions (quality of handshake and towel wave, card playing prowess) and energy on the court (in limited minutes) and off the court help to create a winning NBA team environment. Some of these all-time chemists (Jack Haley, M.L. Carr in later years) and more recent chemists (Brian Scalabrine) foster success and can be indispensable on winning teams. From my sixteen playoff team picks, I selected the most likely chemist (had to be out of the probable top 9 rotation) on each and ranked them for who will create the most chemistry.

East – 1. Nate Robinson (Bulls, when DRose comes back), 2. DeShawn Stevenson (Hawks), 3. Mike Miller (Heat), 4. Jerry Stackhouse (Nets), 5. Rasheed Wallace (Knicks), 6. Leandro Barbosa (Celtics), 7. Miles Plumlee (Pacers), 8. Arnett Moultrie (Sixers)

West – Chris Duhon (Lakers), Jose Barea (TWolves), Patty Mills (Spurs), Ronny Turiaf (Clippers), Josh Selby (Grizzlies), Reggie Jackson (Thunder), Timofey Mozgov (Nuggets), Jeremy Tyler (Warriors)

11 – This year is the eleventh season of the Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili era and San Antonio

It has hard to believe that these three NBA warrior winners have been together this long. It is now almost six years since their last championship and I am not sure if they have the defenders to stop the neo power 4s (LeBron, Durant) or more athletic guards (Westbrook, Rose, Rondo) in a playoff series, but after two straight seasons atop or tied for most regular season wins, we can not count out the Spurs as long as Misters Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili remain healthy and Greg Popovich commands the sidelines. The goal for them must be to find ways to neutralize the Lakers and Thunder defensively and this could require some of R.C. Buford’s midseason trash heap acquisition magic (last year Stephen Jackson and Boris “I ate too much during the lockout” Diaw were a credible solution). With players like Rudy Gay and teams like Sacramento (all players) likely to be available, let’s see if the Spurs brain trust can strike gold one last time. Again, never underestimate the heart of this champion.

10 – Steve Nash’s new number on the Lakers

The Suns got close (and were kind of robbed by some bad luck and bad officiating), but the 2012-2013 Lakers are the Steve Nash team that has the best shot at a title. Is it hard for Suns fans to see this NBA Peter Pan still dominating as he approaches 40 for the Lakers? Absolutely, but like the great Raymond Bourque for the Avalanche in 2001, no one was more loyal to a team and no one in the league deserves a championship more than Steve Nash. If he gets one as a Laker (as long as it is not at the behest of the Celtics), so be it.

9 – Rajon Rondo’s number and basement for his ranking of the best players in the game

I intentionally slipped in my Rajon Rondo selection for All NBA First Team several numbers ago (did you notice?), but can no longer pass up what becomes more and more clear season by season (and may have reached its most overt apex during the Miami series last spring). Rajon Rondo is an incredible basketball player that does things on the court that have never been done before. He is an original, a unique blend of freakish athleticism and freakishly high basketball i.q., a player who can picks his spots night by night to find exactly what his team needs, and a growing leader who is ready to take the leap as the de facto motor of the only Eastern Conference team that can beat the Heat in a seven game series. A US Olympic team outcast (he had some personality clashes in the 2010 worlds and may not be well-suited for the international game), the most underrated story of basketball in London may have been that one of the ten best American players was healthy and not in uniform. So, what is his Rajon’s 2012-2013 ceiling and how can he reach it? Rajon Rondo can be a top 3 MVP candidate and the best point guard in the game. Three things are paramount in order for this to happen: 1) He must be assertive on offense, unafraid to take it to the basket and score. He is a weapon on his own and although he can lead the league in assists in his sleep, his ability to take over games as a scorer must come out more. 2. Along those lines, Rajon must shoot effectively from 15 feet and beyond. This includes the foul line (he must get there at least 6 times a game, last year he was often afraid to create free throw opportunities) and must excel at that nifty elbow sweet spot (that will be his to have) that looks like he worked on while his NBA peers were in London. 3) He has to improve his on the ball defense. When playing the elite points in the game, Rondo shows too much off the ball aggressiveness and his gambles result in too many easy buckets. I have read some Jason Kidd/Rondo comparisons this offseason and I can dig it. Rondo can be the best point guard in the game and is already a top-nine player. (Indisputably, LeBron, Durant, Dwight, Kobe, and Chris Paul are in the mix. The next group features Wade, Love, Deron Williams, Russell Westbrook, Carmelo, Dirk, Blake Griffin. Rondo is at least better than 3-4 of these guys). What is my “ok, I will suck it up and go out on a limb” homer prediction? Rajon Rondo will be the runner-up for the 2012-2013 NBA MVP.

8 – Jeff Green’s number

Welcome back, Jeff Green! Although the preseason is not always the best indicator of future success (I love when Laker haters think there is something to their 0-8 record this year), I think Jeff Green gave a representative preview of what is yet to come. When Celtics nation (and Rajon Rondo I might add) overly mourned the loss of Perk after the 2011 deadline deal, Jeff Green was in a tough situation and may have balked under this initial pressure. Last year’s very serious heart situation (and the Celtics admirable and loyal handling of it), may have shown new employee number 8 that he belongs, that the Celtics brass do want him, and that his time is now. James Worthy comparisons aside (and admittedly, I can see it), the aggressive, lane runner, slasher, driver, three-point specialist, high energy Rondo running mate was a revelation this October and could be the elixir of hope that the Celtics desperately need going into their likely future Miami playoff battles. Consider that at a minimum, Jeff Green is a MAJOR upgrade over Mikael Pietrus (who played serious minutes in the Heat series and is now no longer in the league) and is smart enough to know that he will flourish offensively playing with the league’s “best point guard.” He creates match-up problems for opponents (as a true 3/4 tweener) and will give Doc some incredible versatility from night to night. Welcome back, Jeff Green.

7 – New Celtics in their potential main rotation (Jeff Green Courtney Lee, Jason Terry and Jared Sullinger are locks. The Jason Collins, Darko Milicic, and Leandro Barbosa group will get minutes)

Add this group to a returning bunch of KG, Pierce, Rondo, Bradley (back by January), Brandon Bass, and a healthy Chris Wilcox and you have your deepest, most versatile, most talented Celtics team of the KG era. If all can buy in to the winning culture (when KG is around, this seems to be seamless), the Celtics are going to cause serious issues for the rest of the league. Danny Ainge (a shoe-in for 2012-2013 executive of the year) was not going to allow the Pietruses, Marquis Daniels, Keyon (his amazing locker room presence will be missed), and Greg Stiemsmas to ever be on the floor in a big playoff game again. Think about Courtney Lee (maybe Danny’s shrewdest find, Celtics fans are going to love him) and Avery Bradley matching DWade or Jeff Green spelling PP on LeBron. Defensively, these are some real upgrades and offensively, all of these guys can score better than last year’s pu pu platter. Jason Collins was a tough defender last year in the Atlanta series and he is the kind of six foul monster that will be essential against someone like Roy Hibbert and Andrew Bynum in the East. Darko is amazingly only 27 and we can all entrust his game’s improvement to KG and the motivational factory that he is. Finally, there is a Jason Terry who will be discussed at no. 4 along with the Ray “elephant in the room” Allen situation. This is an excellent Celtics team and is primed to attempt a full dethronement of the Heat next May/June. Look for the Celtics to win over 55 games in the regular season and lock up the no. 2 seed (behind the Heat) in the Eastern Conference by the end of March.

6 – How many deep the Lakers can reliably go

The Lakers can count on the starting five of Kobe, Dwight, Nash, Pau, Metta World “I focused on basketball for the first time in eight years this offseason” Peace, and Antawn “wildly historically underrated” Jamison off the bench. Two to three in the mix of Steve “how he had an NBA career and Bobby Hurley didn’t is beyond me” Blake, Jodie Meeks, Earl Clark, Devin Ebanks (nothing notable to say about his game), Robert Sacre (had never heard of him before he began starting at center for Dwight in the 0-8 preseason), Jordan Hill (the most likely contributor, a rebounding/defense energy guy), and Chris Duhon (I think he will be in the rotation before the season’s end) must contribute and must do so consistently in order to spell some of the older (Nash, Kobe, Jamison), recovering from an injury (Dwight), and insane (Metta World Peace) top six. Like many championship teams discover, sometimes it is the Steve Kerrs, Robert Horrys, and Shane Battiers that are the difference to winning and losing championships. The Lakers, in order to get to the Finals, must find these guys from this bunch or through future trades. I fear (and the league should as well) that they will.

5 – Legitimate contenders to win the 2013 NBA Championship

They are: Miami Heat, Los Angeles Lakers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Boston Celtics, and San Antonio Spurs. Going into the season, there is not another team that comes close to cracking this group. My two most likely candidates: the New York Knicks and the Denver Nuggets.

4 – Jason Terry’s number and where he ranks all-time in career 3 point shots made

Yep, Jason Terry makes three pointers. For anyone who for a second was worried about how the Celtics were ever going to replace Ray Allen’s historical three point prowess, think again. Jason Terry is a glue guy, a Heat hater, an indispensable shot creator, competitive as they come, a fun-loving presence on and off the court, a sixth man who takes pride in the role, and perhaps most importantly, is so excited to be a Boston Celtic. The Jet is going to infuse the Celtics locker room with the leadership and team-building of a Keyon Dooling, but has the on court game (at this stage of his career) to back it up (the last time the Celtics had this mix was in 2008 chemist pioneer, James Posey). Likely to fill most Celtic crunch time lineups (depending on situations and defensive needs along with KG, Pierce, Green, and Rondo), Jet knows how to play the game of basketball (to Ray, basketball is a job that requires meticulous attention, mind you of which he is super-skilled) and the Celtics need someone who is this combination of fun-loving and competitive. And again, Jason Terry will make three pointers (and lots of them).

3 – New playoff teams in 2012-2013

The Magic (an ugly roster with Dwight gone), the Jazz (competitive, but make some cap related deadline moves that hurt their second half success), and Mavericks (Dirk’s injury lasts longer than expected and they consequently dig too much of a hole to crawl out of) will be out of the playoff picture. In as replacements are the Brooklyn Nets (just not as good as expectations seem to dictate), the Minnesota Timberwolves (the whitest team since mid 80s Celtics), and Mark Jackson’s Golden State Warriors! The Warriors are surprisingly well-constructed, will be very fun to watch, have great depth at most positions, can shoot the basketball (Klay Thompson and Stephen Curry are two of the league’s best), have a good mix of veterans (Richard Jefferson, Jarrett Jack, David Lee) and younger players (Thompson, Curry, Harrison Barnes), and could be very good defensively (Andrew Bogut’s health remains the biggest if). It could be a transition year in the Western Conference (especially with playoff stalwarts Jazz, Mavericks, Rockets, Suns, and Blazers likely out of the mix) and look for the T-Wolves and Warriors to make the leap.

Eastern Conference Playoff Teams: 1. Miami 2. Boston 3. New York 4. Atlanta 5. Indiana 6. Brooklyn 7. Chicago 8. Philadelphia

Western Conference Playoff Teams: 1. San Antonio 2. Oklahoma City 3. LA Lakers 4. LA Clippers 5. Denver 6. Minnesota 7. Memphis 8. Golden State

2 – The two best players on the second best team: Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook

Although I can grasp the financial benefit, it is hard to remove myself from the fact that a 2012-2013 Oklahoma City Thunder team with James Harden is significantly better than a 2012-2013 Oklahoma City Thunder team without James Harden. It is equally hard to comprehend that Sam Presti and the OKC brain trust could possibly (and unnecessarily) break apart a team that was primed to compete for league supremacy for many years to come, especially when Harden was under contract and would have been a restricted free agent next summer. Why help the financials of the 2014 or 2015 Thunder when the 2013-2016 is a LeBron James away from being the league’s best team (and mind you their best four players are all 24 and under!!!)? If the skill replication (and actual defensive liability when the big three were on the floor at once last season) was the issue, find a taller wing player or a stud and inexpensive big to take Harden’s place. The Kevin Martin (a great scorer but bad on defense), Jeremy Lamb (unknown commodity rookie), and Toronto 2013 first rounder that came back to OKC at best do Harden not as well as Harden. This leaves OKC with the Durant/Westbrook tandem (not a bad place to be in, just better with Harden as the third amigo) as the make or break duo (Serge Ibaka is going to have to raise his game too) of the franchise. Durant is at worst the third best player in the league and Westbrook is at worst the tenth best player in the league. How these two at times Stringer Bell/Avon Barksdale metaphoric models continue to grow together (so far so brilliant) will determine if LeBron’s arch rival has a real chance. The new Thunder team is going to be one of the most interesting subplots in the Association.

1 – LeBron James, the one to rule them all

This week LeBron James let his true motivation out of the bag, “I plan to be the best player of all-time.” The scary thing – after the Year of LeBron 2012 (NBA Championship, NBA Finals MVP, Olympic Gold Medalist), the destruction of past doubts, and the discovery of how to consistently dominate (something that had before only come out in shorter spurts and inconsistently in the playoffs), let it be known that LeBron James could become the best player ever. His journey continues in 2012-2013. My predictions: He will win his third straight MVP (4 out of the last 5), will lead the Heat past the Celtics in the Eastern Conference Finals, and will defeat the Lakers (who beat the surprise Nuggets in the WCF) to win the NBA Championship in six games. A storm is coming, NBA, and you are all in the destructive path of King James.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company. His weekly X Factor column appears on Afterbuzztv.com and his weekly THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Power Rankings can be read on Derek Kosinski’s ultimatechallengeradio.com.

5 Things, Blog Posts, Movies

5 Things You Need to Know: CLOUD ATLAS

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Tom Hanks and Halle Berry from CLOUD ATLAS

When I see a movie in theaters, I will write the five things you need to know about it.

5 Things You Need to Know About… 

CLOUD ATLAS

1. Cloud Atlas is an ambitious picture that spends almost all of its 172 minute screen symphony as a constant series of crescendos that all never seem to reach full fortissimo.  It is more about the connectivity between movements than about the sanctity of the movements themselves.  As usual, cinemetrician Zach Baron nails it here.

2. If you have read the book, listen to book critic, Kathryn Schulz: “Unlike the book, Cloud Atlas, the movie, is not groundbreaking and dazzling and brilliant and epic and all the rest of those other over-the-top reviewer words. But I also didn’t find it dreadful, or dumb. I’m glad I saw it. I’m inclined to tell other people they should go see it.”  If you have not read the book like me (my Nook Color has been housing the idle e-book of Cloud Atlas for several months now), Schulz contends there is “one massive, all important caveat. You know what that is. Go read the book first.”  Oops.   Prior to reading the book (I am definitely inspired to embark on the journey now), I have a feeling the following will be true: Often thought to be unfilmable, Cloud Atlas is all the better with both mediums in play, the movie would be better without the book as a comparison, and the book is likely even better now that there is a movie.

3. The directing units of Andy and Lana (née Larry) Wachowski (behind The Matrix, it’s troubled sequels, and the catastrophe that was Speed Racer) and Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run, a one-hit wonder), each responsible for independently filming (completely separate crews, cinematographers, production designers) three of the movie’s six time period settings, make significant structural (telling all six stories simultaneously) and casting decisions (a company of actors playing different loosely connected roles in each setting) that will define the movie and it’s subsequent success.  Although I think they do successfully execute these decisions into a viable, beautifully shot and scored cinema experience, by taking this distinctive storytelling path, the final work is condemned to something less than the potential the broad scope of its source material valiantly suggests.

4. Despite some arguable truth to a few of the soul journeys in the actor/character connections (Jim “perhaps the film’s hero” Sturgess and Hugo “the frustratingly clear villain” Weaving’s through lines do succeed), the decision to cast the main cast in multiple roles was a forced convention that acted more as a hindrance, red herring, and distraction to continuity and connectivity than as an asset.  It was more about Tom Hanks (Look he is a cockney murderer from present day England!  Now he speaks an almost indecipherable language as a post-apocalyptic goat herder!) or Halle Berry’s (particularly super swag in her 1973 get-up, mostly forgettable otherwise) journeys as actors than about the journey of the soul.  By making these casting choices, team Wachowski and Tykwer lead the viewer down rabbit holes of inconsequence that are more about the wonders of modern-day makeup than about a well executed character through story.  In a movie in which the tagline is “everything is connected,” it is a cool effect (and do stay a few more minutes for the retrospective actor/character journey in the end credits that is a worthy summation of this convention) that is without real substance.

5. Cloud Atlas is unequivocally a movie (a pretty long one, at that, but worthwhile and enjoyable) that would have worked better as a linear, six part mini-series.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  His weekly X Factor column appears on Afterbuzztv.com and his weekly THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Power Rankings can be read on Derek Kosinski’s ultimatechallengeradio.com.

Blog Posts, Television

The X Factor Top 16 and Why Simon Hates Baseball

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ImageCredit must be given where credit is due.  In a stretch of time in which X Factor was supposed to hibernate for a few weeks while no one watches the 2012 World Series, Simon Cowell’s crown jewel has managed to stay very much in the pulse of the pop culture nation (although at first for a major mistake).

When the “Judge’s House No. 2” episode of The X Factor aired on Thursday, October 11, there was to be one more airing (originally scheduled for Wednesday, October 17) followed by a fifteen day hiatus (an eternity in a momentum reliant reality program like The X Factor) to make room for America’s former pastime (do not get me started on why Major League Baseball is near irrelevant) in its annual October Fox primetime takeover.  The buzz and drive that the reformatted and reinvigorated (I am looking at you Demi Lovato) reality competition talent program had accrued thus far was in danger of being lost to this unnecessary scheduling conflict.

Baseball couldn’t wait another week to be a nuisance when a rain delay during an NLCS game last Wednesday forced Fox scheduling executives to ere on the side of awful.  The East coast X Factor was supposed to air a two hour episode from 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM.  While waiting (a theme of the baseball viewing experience) for the Cardinals/Giants game to begin again, Fox’s (less than) finest decided to show a Ben and Kate rerun, go back go the game for a hot second break from the rain, inexplicably begin The X Factor at exactly 8:40 PM (I checked my dvr to be official) and then even more inexplicably, cut away a little more than half way through the planned two hours (with no warning) for a The Mindy Project rerun (another show undeservedly negatively affected by baseball).  The viewer was left confused and Simon was not pleased, giving this take on twitter: “Have no idea what is happening to the schedule tonight. Have heard the whole episode will be shown next Tuesday. Sorry. It what’s known as a total F-up.”  Fast forward to Tuesday, October 24.  Fox graciously adds a half hour to regular primetime programming (thanks so much) and re-airs only the second hour of last week’s episode.  If you usually do X Factor live, this disjointed viewing process could be a major turnoff. (This was not the first time that something like this has happened)

ImageDespite these higher-up hiccups, this is still X Factor news during a time when the show is supposed to be mostly off the radar.  In addition, two major announcements hit the airwaves.  X Factor was picked up for a third US season and even more relevant to season 2, Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez were officially named hosts for the live shows beginning on November 1 (I have decided to hold my opinions until I have seen them in action…in Simon we trust).

So, what happened in these unfortunately scheduled two hours of programming over the past two weeks?  Judges (it feels like finally) made their selections for the top 16 acts for the live shows.  Let’s do a brief breakdown of the top 16.

TEAM BRITNEY SPEARS – TEENS – “They just have no idea what’s coming their way.” 

CARLY ROSE SONENCLAR

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Britney’s take: “Carly Rose Sonenclar is like an angel.  Her voice is completely flawless.  She’s a true star.”

My take: I concur.  Carly Rose has a unique talent and is already, at thirteen, a seasoned veteran in the performing arts business.  I think she is the one to beat in this category and maybe in this competition.

BEATRICE MILLER

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Britney’s take: “Beatrice Miller has the look, she has the personality, and she has the voice which I think is going to be very intimidating to the other teens.”

My take: I am not sure if she will be intimidating anyone, although I think she may have the most game in the teens category.  She will find a way to differentiate herself musically from the other teens through song selection and/or style choices.

ARIN RAY

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Britney’s take: “Arin Ray is the whole package.  I feel like his voice has so much personality into it and when he performs, it shines through.”

My take: I am not sure what this means.  I have yet to see the spark, the “X” if you will, from Mr. Ray, although I have a feeling that the tween and teen audiences will make a strong connection.

DIAMOND WHITE

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Britney’s take: “Diamond White is a spitfire.  I think she is really funky and spunky and I think she is going to really surprise us.”

My take: I won’t be surprised if Diamond does very well in this competition.  Her voice is incredible and I think she has a lot of the Rachel Crow charisma from last season.

How did my predictions go?  Britney chose 4 of 4 shoulds and 3 of 4 woulds.

TEAM DEMI LOVATO – YOUNG ADULTS – “The battle is officially on.” 

WILLIE JONES

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Demi’s take: “Willie Jones is so original and incredibly unique.  There is absolutely nothing like him in this competition.”

My take: There may not be anything like him in this competition and for that, America may connect.  As a singer, I think he may be more gimmick than substance.

PAIGE THOMAS

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Demi’s take: “Paige Thomas – no doubt – she’s a superstar.  You can tell when she walks in a room; everything about her is a star.  She has what it takes to win.”

My take: I have doubts, Demi, and do not think she should be here (at least over Jillian).  If anything, Paige may lack “what it takes to win” and has shown this emotional volatility since her first audition.

JENNEL GARCIA

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Demi’s take: “Jennel – she’s got the attitude and she’s got one of the best voices in this entire competition.  I’m so excited that she’s in my group.”

My take: I am so excited too.  Considering what we have seen so far, Jennel has a whole lot of “X” in her factor.  I am thrilled she has made it this far and look for her to be an easy sell to American audiences.

CECE FRY

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Demi’s take: “CeCe has the stage presence.  She may not be the most likable person in the competition, but I believe that I can get America to fall in love with her.”

My take: This backhanded compliment (if you can even call it that), says it all.  I love Demi, but as an inexperienced, first time judge, I just don’t see us making the CeCe connection early enough in the live shows to keep her around.

How did my predictions go?  Demi chose 3 of 4 shoulds and 2 of 4 woulds.

TEAM L.A. REID – OVER 25s – “This is where it gets competitive.”

DAVID CORREY

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L.A.’s take: “David Correy is a great voice, and talent, and charm so I expect big things from David Correy.”

My take: I like David Correy, but he may have already had his moment on this show.  The Vino comparison is inevitable (the tattoos will do that), but Vino more easily differentiates himself vocally.

JASON BROCK

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L.A.’s take: “Jason Brock’s voice is angelic.  This is a very tough category, but this is flamboyance at its finest.”

My take: L.A. is not sure what to do with Jason Brock at this point.  I do think that Jason Brock knows what to do with Jason Brock.  If he can come out strong in the first few live shows and survive, L.A. will get on board.

TATE STEVENS

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L.A.’s take: “Tate Stevens is someone that you have to take seriously.  He’s the real deal.  He is an American classic.”

My take: An American classic like baseball?  (Too soon?)  I like Tate’s story and his drive, but I feel like a middle-aged country singer is a bit cliché.

VINO ALAN

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L.A.’s take: “Vino Alan may have the strongest voice in the entire competition.  He’s the greatest example of don’t judge a book by its cover.”

My take: Yes and yes.  Vino has a gifted voice and I think with some correct marketing, could win over America’s hearts.  He has L.A.’s full support.

How did my predictions go?  L.A. chose 3 of 4 shoulds and 3 of 4 woulds.

TEAM SIMON COWELL – GROUPS – “Now it gets serious.” 

LYLAS

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Simon’s take: “I love this group of girls.  I see massive, massive potential here.”

My take: As do I.  I was very impressed with their audition at Simon’s “house.”  They are relatable and their “have your pick” diversity (vocally and in terms of looks) will connect with various musical tastes.

SISTER C

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Simon’s take: “They look great.  They have great voices.  I think they’re professional.  I think they sound great and you just don’t ignore talent.”

My take: Yep, they are great, Simon.  It will be interesting to see how America responds.

LYRIC 145

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Simon’s take: “I like this combination.  The two guys needed her and she needed the two guys.  They’re different.”

My take: They really worked in Miami.  I am not sure they have a particularly high ceiling, but as the only rap artist remaining, they will likely find a loyal audience.

EMBLEM3

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Simon’s take: “I think they could be the surprise in this competition.  I think they’re funny, difficult, trouble, but everything I like in a boy band.”

My take: I am not a fan and don’t get why they are at all innovative or interesting musically.

How did my predictions go?  Simon chose 3 of 4 shoulds and 3 of 4 woulds.

What did you all think?  Who are your favorite contestants?  Is baseball really this annoying?

Next week: the first X Factor power rankings leading into the live shows, November 1.

David J. Bloom can be reached on twitter @davidbloom7 and writes about pop culture and the NBA for Bishop and Company.  His weekly THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS Power Rankings appears every Monday on Derrick Kosinski’s ultimatechallengeradio.com.

"The Challenge", Blog Posts, Television

THE CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS – WEEK 6

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ImageWe are now five episodes, two full team eliminations, countless Camila meltdowns and T.J. “we killed its,” three Big Easy induced disqualifications, one GBH (guy back home) breakup over the phone, one messy drunk Frank night, one troublesome instance of Knight helping Nany with her laundry, several episodes in which JD and Robb did not make the edit, and a few sketchy rumors about why certain teams (Real World: Sydney) and players (Johanna from Real World: Austin) did not participate (it may have had something to do with not wanting to be around a certain ginger-haired ex-boyfriend) into this “living up to the hype” season of The Challenge.  So far, the “Battle of the Seasons” format has provided a worthy framework for some unexpected power grabs, either seemingly unbreakable team unity or habitual team dysfunction, and a likely fabricated but relevant influx of Real World season pride.  To the credit of Bunim-Murray/MTV producers, this season’s The Challenge feels both fresh (game format innovation, some worthy new blood) and familiar (some “ready to the take the leap” competitors, reliably dramatic and entertaining).

Before we take stock of this week’s episode (featuring the outcome of two arena eliminations and the continuation of a major power shift), it is important to take a moment for a brief big picture assessment.  Now that Team Fresh Meat (just a brutal showing all around) and Team Austin (targeted and executed early by the ruling alliance) are no more, we are down to six teams and twenty-two competitors (Knight and Jemmye are all that is left of Team New Orleans after perennial power rankings bottom feeders, Preston and McKenzie, made an admirable, but inevitable exit this week).

The ruling alliance that had prescribed the first four arena eliminations is finally showing some cracks.  Not only did they face their first communal elimination this week (albeit Preston and McKenzie), Imageonce loyal Team Las Vegas has clearly moved on (although I am not sure how well they have aligned with Team Brooklyn or Team St. Thomas).  This much is clear: there is a clean line between San Diego, Cancun, and New Orleans and the other three teams.  If Brooklyn and Las Vegas can start to dominate together, bring in Trey’s St. Thomas faction as an additional ally, and begin to route out some of the Cancun/San Diego power players, they have a real shot at changing the course of this game.

A few other observations:

  • After three consecutive arena wins, Team Brooklyn is not afraid and is growing stronger by the week (even JD and Devyn are making real contributions).
  • Team Las Vegas has to reunify after their dissension a few weeks back.  How well they work together from this point forward will determine their ultimate success.
  • I am baffled by the good fortune of Team St. Thomas.  We are five eliminations in to the game, and they have yet to come close to participating in an arena.  On every previous season of The Challenge, they would have been gone by now (or at least would have had to prove themselves in some way).  If Frank, CJ, and Jonna are controlling their alliance (as it continues to appear they are), this St. Thomas situation may be the greatest manifestation of how well the Cancun/San Diegoers have controlled the game up to this point.  The rookiest of Challenge rookies are still alive and well and this is a completely underrated and under the radar fact.

Before we hit the rankings, let’s digest the key moments and machinations of this week’s episode:

CAMILA VERSUS BIG EASY

ImageIn the dysfunctional unreality that is Team Fresh Meat, it was inevitable that their final farewell would go down with somewhat of a bang.  I did not expect that this bang would make those watching at home (I can only imagine what it was like to be there in person, some shots of facial expressions capture this idea) feel so uncomfortable.

In the understatement of the decade, Camila deduced that “communication isn’t our biggest strength as a team.”  This was before the “Water Torture” arena battle that required a human pulley system coordination between she and Eric.  Easy had to spend some time holding his breath upside down under water while she played a cruel game of hanging monkey concentration.  To Camila’s credit, she had the right intentions: “All I am going to do up there is keep calm and if he needs to tell me anything, he just needs to voice it.”  Sadly, Big (never) Easy was struggling and decided to voice it by quitting (TJ Lavin is pissed off alert!).

ImageWhat came next was a level eight (of ten) on the “squirm in your seat” uncomfortable scale.  The transcript of Camila’s monologue of uncontrollable despair went something like this:

“You are not done.  You are not done.  You are not done.  No, you are not done, Easy.  You are not done.  You are not done.  This is not fair.  He’s quitting, not me.  I am climbing this motherfucker if I have to, you son of a bitch.  I am not giving up because of him.  I am not losing because of him.  It’s not fair.  He’s done.  I’m not, so what do we do now?  Cause I’ll go in the fucking water.  You want me to go in the water?  I’ll go in the water.”

There was one point where Camila actually started to climb her wooden concentration board tower.  She was not going to give up (commendable) under on anyone else‘s terms.

Then she took it a little too far (you could see this one coming).  Eric’s raised his middle fingers while passing the distraught Camila, inciting this almost unspeakable reaction in his Brazilian anti-partner:

Image“You ruined our team.  You are a disgrace to the human kind.  You are a loser.  You are selfish little fuck.  You are a selfish motherfucker piece of shit.  Fuck you, dude.  Go to fucking hell.”

Wise big sister, Trishelle put it best: “Camila says the most horrible degrading things to Big Easy.  I don’t think that anyone deserves that, no matter what happens.  No one deserves to be spoken to that way.”  No one deserves to be spoken to that way, and unfortunately for Easy, this is not the first time he has had to endure such verbal bashing on The Challenge.

What can we make of all this?  I feel for both Camila and Big Easy.  Camila is a winner who will fight to win no matter what the personal cost or personal attack (she may have spent a little too much time last season learning the Johnny Bananas ways).  Easy did quit on her (and was central to her team’s troubles in the first place), so I get it when she says, “I have no desire to ever talk to him again.”  It was her tough luck (and maybe the reason the savvier Laurels and Evs stayed away from the doomed Fresh Meat team) to be with a player that was just unable to compete at the necessary level.  As for Easy, I think he gave every thing he had, and it just may be that what he has does not amount to all that much in the uber-competitive athletic/social gladiator pit known as the Challenge.  Thankfully, it does seem like he found love in a hopeless place with Devyn and can look back on his Turkey experience with a worthy consolation prize.

Finally, I think there is some real truth to when Eric says, “we didn’t have that Real World season to get to know each other.”  Easy may be an overall weak competitor, but he is (by all accounts) a good dude, and a hypothetical Real World roommate would know Easy (beyond his athletic failings on the competition geared Challenges) well enough to more graciously forgive him for his failings.  He and Camila have only done Challenges together and may not have had the opportunity in a more controlled social environment to make those vital connections.

TJ HATES QUITTERS

Exchanges like this both confirm the greatness of TJ Lavin and explain why he is essential to creating and maintaining the competitive environment of the Challenges:

TJ: “That’s one thing I hate worse than anything else in the world – and that’s quitters.  Big Easy, man, why did you quit?”

Big Easy: “We were fighting an upward battle, man, it wasn’t going our way, and it didn’t look like anything was going to change.”

TJ: “Yeah, but when the chips are down bro, don’t you just think you should give it to them?”

Big Easy: “I’ve been giving it to ‘em since I got here, I am over it.”

TJ: “You want to let your teammate down like that?”

Big Easy: “She’s not my teammate, we’ve been playing a single person’s game since our team walked into the house.  It is what it is.  Words are words.”

TJ: “Alright…(slow pause, obviously not agreeing), Camila, what do you think about that?”

Camila: “Exactly, we are not teammates because I am not a quitter and I don’t align myself with quitters like you.  JD did it.  He never let Devyn down, so you know what, once a quitter, always a quitter my friend, there is no excuse for that.”

Above all else, TJ hates quitters.  You can be un-athletic, awkward, boring, or largely disliked, but if you give it your all in front of TJ, you are killing it on The Challenge.

If you quit or give up, well, there is no excuse for that.  If TJ has any say (and if he doesn’t he should), I think we have seen the last of Big Easy on The Challenge.

THE “CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD” CHALLENGE

Before this week’s “Chairman of the Board” trivia contest, TJ declared it his “favorite” challenge.  Similar to past spelling/trivia competitions in recent challenges, competitors were asked questions in various categories and of varied obscurity.  If you get a question wrong, you are not only out, but TJ gets to pull a lever that connects to your chair, propelling you uncontrollably too many feet into the raging Mediterranean waters below.  The last team standing (or sitting in this case) wins and the first team to have all team members miss a question lose and must fight for life in the arena.  The intentional comedy of watching our favorite competitors struggle mightily on easy answers only to be sent flying at the hands of TJ into the sea is complete joy (and understandably TJ’s favorite challenge).

ImagePower team Cancun set the strategic order (Brooklyn, St. Thomas, Las Vegas, New Orleans, San Diego, Cancun – also revealing their own status rankings), but not before Team Las Vegas suffered a one person deduction when Trishelle’s dehydration forced her to sit this one out (to the chagrin of Alton and Dustin).  Here is the order of elimination, including some wrong answer high(low)lights:

Marie, Dustin, McKenzie (In what country was the very first Fresh Meat filmed? Europe.), Jasmine (What is the capitol of England? Liverpool.), Sarah, Laura, Alton (Who was Kim Kardashian married to before filing for divorce after 72 days? Kris Duncan.), Knight (Who did Prince William marry in 2011? No clue. Jemmye: We watched it!), Preston (In basketball, what city are the Suns from? Utah), JD, Robb, Jemmye (making Team New Orleans the first team eliminated), Frank, Jonna, Devyn, Trey, Nany (she was clutch on two answers, saving Team Las Vegas), Ashley (The Challenge has been produced on how many continents? 21), Derek, and finally Chet who incorrectly spelled “narcissistic” (Chet: “I wish he had given me “whiny bitch” because that is an easy one to spell.  F-R-A-N-K.” Brilliant.)

Thanks to Frank’s correct answer domination (he stayed on so long that Zach and Sam never had to answer a single question) and no thanks to Ashley’s answer of “21” to a question about the number of continents (tough moment), Team San Diego won and reclaimed power team status.

TEAM BROOKLYN FLEXES SOME MUSCLE

ImageI have said it before and I will say it again, there is something about this group and although it does seem to originate with Sarah and Chet, both Devyn and JD made key contributions this week.  Team Brooklyn has now won three straight arena eliminations and if anything, they seem to be only getting stronger.  As the anti-Fresh Meat, the following are several instances and statements that help explain why Team Brooklyn is all over what it means to be the good guys in this game and how they could carve a very real pathway to victory:

Warm…

  • Before the first arena elimination, TJ: “I sense some team unity.  I like that.” Yep.
  • After the Camila/Easy meltdown, Sarah and Chet cheer on Devyn and JD to finish.  It is such a contrast.
  • When Camila uses Brooklyn’s example to show Eric his deficiencies, Devyn does not accept Camila’s comparison: “But we talk to our teammates with respect, always.”

Warmer…

  • Sarah: “Brooklyn ain’t going anywhere.  We are like the cockroaches you can’t kill.  No problem.”
  • In the second arena elimination, Sarah and Chet are so ready to compete for their team.  It leads to this classic exchange: Sarah: “It always comes down to who wants to be here more, and I want to be here, real bad.”  Chet: “Yeah it comes down to who wants to be here more, but it also comes down to Preston is a terrible competitor, and he ain’t sending me home.” There is no way, Chet.
  • Sarah: “The best thing about this Brooklyn Team is our team unity…I am ready to go in and I can’t wait.”

HOT!!!!!

  • Devyn: “We are like that toe fungus that you had.  You are just going to have to wait it out.  You are not going to get rid of us this fast.”

Beware Cancun and San Diego higherups.  The lovable “toe fungus” is growing and it may not be extinguishable.

WEEKLY CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS

NOTE: the rankings will be based on an un-Hollinger/sabermetrics method known as “My experience and observations” (See: Marc Stein’s great NBA weekly power rankings).  Weight will be given to how well teams and individuals do on competitions, in the social game, and whether he or she is a “good competitor.”

THE MEN

THE TOP TIER

1. Dustin (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 1 of 13

2. Frank (Team San Diego) – Last week: 5 of 13

3. Chet (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 4 of 13

4. CJ (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 13

5. Alton (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 3 of 13

ImageAlthough there was some major movement this week in this group (both CJ and Alton dropped, Chet and Frank moved up), it is clear who the top five male competitors are in this game.  I must continue to give Frank credit.  He singlehandedly secured victory for his team and is the champion of maintaining alliance supremacy.  It will be very interesting to see (as teased in the “Next Week on”) how the male San Diego versus male Las Vegas off court battle plays out.  In many ways, this could be the pivotal moment for the power structure of this game.

Chet continues to man up in the arena with athletic execution and inescapable wit.  He has now orally bested CJ (live) and Frank (during his must watch interviews) in successive weeks.

THE NEXT LEVEL

6. Zach (Team San Diego) – Last week: 7 of 13

Zach and Frank both pointed out their perceived irony of Chet struggling to spell the word “narcissistic.”  After Chet’s anti-Frank quip, the battle lines have been drawn.

7. Derek (Team Cancun) – Last week: 6 of 13

THE RISING CONTENDERS

8. Knight (Team New Orleans) – Last week 10 of 13

Last week’s power rankings may have gone after Knight a little too harshly (although I did not go as far to call him a sociopath, Jacoby).  To his credit, he is playing this game to win and for a first timer, is admittedly doing really well (good initial alignment, controls the machinations of his own team, has a good sense of humor, getting along with Jemmye).  Additionally, he was responsible for my favorite moment of this week’s episode.  As the recipient of the t-mobile text message pre-challenge, he opened the message report with his own hilarious faux-intro, “Thank god the wicked witch from Brazil is gone.”  Well played, Knight, Ryan Knight.

9. JD (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 13 of 13

In a pleasant surprise, we finally heard something from JD this week before he faced elimination in the arena:  “I am ready for this.  This is what I was born to do.  I am a water person.  I have trained whales and dolphins in the past.  I am a competitive swimmer.  You can’t win something you have already won, so let’s just get this over with.”  Yes you can, JD.

LOWEST ON THE TOTEM POLE

10. Trey (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 8 of 13

11. Robb (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 13

I continue to struggle placing Team St. Thomas in this game.  Do I think they have power?  Most of the time, no.  However, if I put my Survivor hat on, one could argue that they have much power because if they ever settle their inconclusive alignment, they could serve as the majority determinant.  Although team votes are not a part of the deliberation process, it would be a moral victory for Vegas and Brooklyn if they developed some real bond with this rookie rookie team.

ELIMINATED: Eric (Team Fresh Meat), Preston (Team New Orleans)

Biggest Rise: JD (Team Brooklyn)

Biggest Fall: 3 tied

THE WOMEN

THE TOP TIER

1. Sarah (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 1 of 13

Sarah had another one of those weeks where she flexed her personal and competitive greatness.

Sarah, how do you feel about a trivia challenge? “I love trivia.  It is even on my business card.  It says speaker, artist, trivia master, right under my name.  I can’t wait to do this Challenge.”

Sarah, how do you feel about getting a question wrong? “No worries.  Instead of painfully flopping, I will just have to do an awe-inspiring flip dive.  I love this game!” (I made this quotation up, but the dive was really cool)

From her self-described “nervous pees” before her arena battle, to her checking out a working out Alton, to her “see you next time” comment to TJ after winning, she is incredible and infectious to watch.  Fearless, but never overconfident, and having so much fun in the process, she is in a very good place to continue her game domination.

2. Jonna (Team Cancun) – Last week: 2 of 13

There was a telling moment this week when Jonna and Frank had a disagreement (Frank: “I saw you rolling your eyes”) at the alliance gathering.  Although Frank’s choice to send Brooklyn in won out, Jonna’s awareness that Las Vegas is a formidable opponent that must be addressed at some point did not go unnoticed.  She is playing this game and continues to be a force.

3. Nany (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 4 of 13

Nany ended up being super clutch for Team Vegas in the challenge (thank goodness she knew what city the Red Sox are from and what person is on the quarter), saving her team from their first arena appearance.  Although her questions were handed to her, she did execute when her team needed her to and represented for Vegas woman (in light of Trishelle’s dehydration issues).  Dustin “couldn’t be more proud of Nany if [he] was her father.”

4. Jasmine (Team Cancun) – Last week: 3 of 13

Poor Jasmine.  She may be a hero to Liverpool FC and Beatles fans everywhere, but your mom is a geography teacher!  C’mon.

THE NEXT LEVEL

5. Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) – Last week: 5 of 13

Fact: Trishelle almost cost her team the challenge due to an awful bout of dehydration (Alton: “What is up with her?”).  Notwithstanding, her place in the fifth spot in the rankings is quite secure (low competition behind her) this week, but will be tested when the Vegas and San Diego men come to blows next week.

THE RISING CONTENDERS

6. Devyn (Team Brooklyn) – Last week: 10 of 13

Devyn is a rising commodity on this list.  Her interview sound bites are go-to and she is a big proponent and provider of the Brooklyn Team Unity.  With her heart torn asunder after Big Easy’s departure, she will have extra motivation to fight for her man and her game will only benefit with the removal of a potential tense relationship distraction.

7. Marie (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 6 of 13

Marie is a struggle in challenges, although her answer of “TJ Lavin” was a reasonable one.  If she were smart, she would sit down with Sarah, Chet, and Team Vegas and make the St. Thomas connection.  I have a feeling her relationship with Frank could be her game demise.

8. Jemmye (Team New Orleans) – Last week: 12 of 13

Jemmye had some great moments this episode (When discussing the “identify the man on currency” category: “Everyone uses debit cards, let’s be real, this category sucks” and when asked why Team New Orleans is in the bottom this week, her response, “We lost.”) and feels like a burden has been lifted now that Preston and McKenzie were forced to say their inevitable goodbyes.  I think she and Knight always do better when it is just them and I would not be surprised if we see a more feisty and subsequently successful Jemmye/Knight tandem in future challenges and arenas.

LOWEST ON THE TOTEM POLE

9. Sam (Team San Diego) – Last week: 8 of 13

10. Laura (Team St. Thomas) – Last week: 11 of 13

11. Ashley (Team San Diego) – Last week: 7 of 13

Sorry, Ashley.  You share the award this week for “worst answer to an easy question” with McKenzie (Europe is not a country).  In what pressured universe is any answer to “how many continents?” ever “21”?  This was an automatic demotion to the bottom of the rankings.

ELIMINATED: McKenzie (Team New Orleans), Camila (Team Fresh Meat) 

Biggest Rise: Devyn (Team Brooklyn)

Biggest Fall: Ashley (Team San Diego)

FULL TEAM RANKINGS

Note:  Team rankings are compiled by adding up the individual rankings and dividing by number of players remaining.  Teams with the lowest total average ranking are ranked better than the highest (i.e. you want as few points as possible)

1. TEAM LAS VEGAS Average: 3.5, last week: 3.25 (T-1)

Alton (5), Dustin (1), Trishelle (5), Nany (3)

Vegas is back on top after many weeks away.  Next week they will face their truest test yet when Alton and Dustin face the wrath of Frank and Zach.

2. TEAM CANCUN Average: 4.25, last week: 3.25 (T-1)

CJ (4), Jonna (2), Jasmine (4), Derek (7)

A brief slip pushes them from the top for the first time in a while.

3. TEAM BROOKLYN Average: 4.75, last week: 7 (4)

Sarah (1), Chet (3), JD (9), Devyn (6)

Here comes Brooklyn!  JD and Devyn are starting to show some fire and Chet and Sarah seem to be unbeatable in the arena.

4. TEAM SAN DIEGO Average: 7, last week: 6.75 (3)

Zach (6), Sam (9), Ashley (11), Frank (2)

Frank is doing incredible work, but increasingly, seems to be carrying this group.  Will his early season impenetrable pairing with Zach become relevant again?

5. TEAM NEW ORLEANS Average: 8, last week: 12 (7)

Knight (8), Jemmye (8), Eliminated: McKenzie, Preston

With Preston and McKenzie gone, Team New Orleans jumps to fifth place in the team rankings.  I credit them for making the right initial alliance.

6. TEAM ST. THOMAS Average: 9.5, last week: 9 (5)

Laura (10), Trey (10), Robb (11), Marie (7)

Although still in the dark about what to do with them, I have a feeling that we are going to learn more in the coming weeks.

TOP 10 PAIR RANKINGS:

Based on this fail-safe system that I created, these are the best top ten pair combinations for this week.  At this point, all are hypothetical (the only actually current pair were not close to the top), but you can definitely get a sense of what intra-team strategy may need to be employed.

T-1. Sarah and Chet (Team Brooklyn) Average: 2, Dustin and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 2

T-3. CJ and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 3, Dustin and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 3

T-5. CJ and Jasmine (Team Cancun) Average: 4, Alton and Nany (Team Las Vegas) Average: 4,

T-7. Chet and Devyn (Team Brooklyn) Average 4.5, Derek and Jonna (Team Cancun) Average: 4.5

9. Alton and Trishelle (Team Las Vegas) Average: 5

10. Jasmine and Derek (Team Cancun) Average: 5.5

And finally, during the “NEXT WEEK ON” preview, this is what I saw:

  • At the challenge, somebody smells disgusting and CJ vomits
  • Frank and Alton scuffle, Zach and Alton scuffle
  • Frank tells Dustin that he dying to get his hands on a man again…

Until we all meet again, watch the next episode of The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons at 10 PM on Wednesday night on MTV.

David Bloom can be reached on twitter at @davidbloom7.  His weekly CHALLENGE POWER RANKINGS come out every Monday on Derek Kosinski’s UltimateChallengeRadio.com.  The Week 7 power rankings will be available on October 29.